‘Everything has turned to shit,’ he told her. ‘Things are not good at the factory. There’s a chance I might lose my job. Pete’s gone. Kim’s dead. Annie spends all her time with Dee … and you’re sick.’
He sighed, loud and heavy, as he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek and rested his palms on the back of his neck.
‘I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a football field, and everyone I love is slowly stepping back, moving further and further away. I can’t get to them and they can’t hear me when I call for them to come back. It feels like, eventually, I’m going to be standing there all alone.’
‘You are not alone, Travis,’ his mum said. ‘I’m here.’
He felt the familiar mound building steadily in his throat. In the past months, he’d tried to imagine what that day was going to feel like, what it was gonna do to him. The simple fact was, though, he couldn’t. That day, for him, was unimaginable. He would just have to live it when the time came.
‘Not forever, Mum. I don’t have you forever.’ His voice crumbled and lurched over the words.
‘No,’ she said, her voice taking a slight upward turn. ‘Not forever, Travis. I do have some news, though. I didn’t want to tell you yet, not until I was one hundred percent certain, but is seems like you might be in need of some good news.’ She took a breath. ‘I’ve been working with some doctors.’
Travis raised an eyebrow. This wasn’t news. His mum had been surrounded by doctors and specialists whose job titles were so long that he could never remember them. His mum had doctors. Of course she did. She had stage four bowel cancer.
‘I signed up for a trial a few months ago. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure what you’d think. I needed to stop chemotherapy and take some pills they gave me. There was no guarantee I’d be given the actual trial medication. They needed a control group, and that group were given placebo pills. So, I went into this trial not knowing whether I would be taking placebo pills or the real deal.’
Travis was confused and so was his heart. It didn’t know whether to lift with hope or clench with fear.
‘Travis, it turns out, I was one of the lucky ones given the trial medication. I took them religiously just as I was told, and it’s worked. I had a colonoscopy and a scan last week. The cancer is shrinking.’ Her smile was full of hope. ‘Baby, I think I’m gonna survive this.’
Emotion flowed through him. Tears filled his eyes as his mind worked to process what is mother had just told him. He found himself reaching for an absolution; he wanted to hear a voice from the heavens say, ‘Yes, Travis, your mother is going to be okay.’
‘You sure?’ He searched her face for any hint of uncertainty.
‘The doctor said it’s shrinking, that it’s a great sign, that it’s going away. Nothing is certain in this game, Travis, but I am going to keep taking the medication. It affects my appetite, makes me dizzy, but who cares, it’s working!’
Travis catapulted out of his seat and threw his arms around his mum. It had been a fortnight of bad news heaped upon more bad news, and now, finally, the one thing he’d prayed for and had daydreamed about since the day his mum had told him her prognosis was happening. Hope had found its way back to him.
‘Mum, this is the best news,’ he said, holding her at arms-length.
‘Now,’ she said, softly patting his arm, ‘we can’t get too excited. Things change, you know that. But yes, for now, I’m here, and it looks like I won’t be going anywhere any time soon.’
‘My God, I can't believe this,’ he said, his tears still flowing.
‘Tell me something, Travis,’ his mum said, gesturing for him to sit again, ‘is it just my sickness and the bad news about Pete that’s got you in a muddle, or is it something else? Someone else, perhaps?’
Her eyes sparkled in that particular, knowing way.
She was trying to say something, trying to tell him something, and as usual, he was too dense to fully understand her meaning.
Who was he kidding? Deep down, he knew she was talking about Dee, and her next question confirmed it.
‘Maybe, you’re going to miss a certain person who leaves in the morning?’
Travis scoffed and shook his head. He didn't know what annoyed him more—that his mum had him thinking about Dee again, or that she was right. He was in a shitty situation, but it was one he couldn’t hide from any longer. Seconds earlier, he’d been joyful and brimming with hope, now he was in a state of despair once more.
‘What does your heart want, Trav? For once, don’t think about Annie, or Kim, or me, or anyone else. What does Travis Parker want?’
He didn’t say anything, simply looked at his mother as the image of Dee reversing her hatchback out of his driveway and never coming back played on a loop.
‘It’s down to the wire, my boy. If you’re going to do something … if you’re going to accept that Dee is who you want, you’ll need to do something about it tonight.’
He bit his lip and massaged his scalp with his fingertips.
‘It’s her dream job, Mum.’
She nodded. ‘I know. And if she knows how you feel and takes the job anyway, you’ll have to live with that.’
She gave him a small smile. ‘You’ve survived worse. But, honey, if you’re holding back just because you think she won’t pick you, you’re living a life based on fear. And that’s not how I raised you.’
He shook his head. ‘I can’t.’
His mum didn’t understand. Yes, he was in love with Dee, but she was leaving. There was nothing to keep her in Mason Valley, and as far as he could figure, she’d never be back. This town wasn’t her home. He wasn’t her man.
That left him and Annie. At least he still had Annie. The thought of his little girl made him smile.
Pete was no longer around, but he had Chloe and the baby to care for, and now, thanks to God, or the universe, or whatever powers extended beyond him, he had his mum as well.
‘You know what they say, Mum,’ he said, taking his mother’s hand. ‘If you truly love something, let it go.’
36
Dee thought she and Annie could be in training for the eating Olympics. One of the many disappointments about leaving the valley was that she had only just discovered the treasure that was Tammy’s Tops Tucker. She decided to spend her last night in the valley having a Last Supper, and in that vein, she’d ordered one of almost everything on the menu.
Annie was enthralled and watched with wide eyes, as Tammy brought out various dishes, which had the combined caloric value of about a week’s worth of food.
‘Chicken nuggets, burgers and pancakes,’ Annie said. ‘And I can get a milkshake?’
‘I told you,’ Dee said, ‘this is our special night. You want a milkshake, you get a milkshake. Get two if you want.’
‘This is the absolute best night of my life,’ Annie said. ‘Thanks so much, Dee.’
Dee ordered a strawberry milkshake for Annie and a vanilla one for herself, then she squirted some tomato sauce on a side plate and they started by dipping their fries.
‘What are you going to have first?’ Dee asked Annie.
‘I was thinking,’ Annie drawled, ‘I might rotate around. Like, take one bite of my burger, then a bite of a nugget, then pancakes, then a sip of milkshake.’ Annie pointed at each dish in turn.
Dee applauded. ‘Brilliant! I might do the same.’
They began sampling their food, but it only took a few moments for Dee to accept that she didn’t possess the stomach of a six-year-old. The fats and flavours mingled and mixed in her stomach in a very unsettling way. She paused.
‘You’re out-eating me, Annie. I think I need to stick to the burger. That’s my favourite, anyway.’
The milkshakes arrived, and Annie, seemingly unaffected by the range of foods, munched happily.
‘How come we’re having such a big treat?’ She took a big sip of her strawberry milkshake.
Dee felt a nervous sort of sickness building, and it
mingled with the combination of trans fats and dairy.
‘Well,’ she began, ‘I need to talk to you about something important.’ Dee prayed her voice wouldn’t shake too much. ‘When we get home, I’m going to start packing.’
Annie gasped and her eyes grew wide. ‘Are we going on a holiday?’
Dee was convinced her heart was breaking, such was the ache in her chest.
‘No,’ she said, holding her voice as steady as she could. ‘No, Annie. We’re not going on holiday. Tomorrow morning, I’m leaving Mason Valley. I have a new job, and I’m going to go and live somewhere else.’
Annie’s eyes clouded over and were instantly full of sadness. ‘But, when will you be back?’
Dee looked down at her burger and pushed it away. She didn’t know how she would push the words up to her throat and out of her mouth.
‘I’m not coming back, Annie. The place where my job is will be my new home.’
The edges of Annie’s mouth turned down and she began to cry. ‘Will you come and visit?’ she pleaded through her tears.
It was almost more than Dee could bare. ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered. ‘But if your dad says I can come and see you, then I definitely will.’
She felt instant guilt for that comment. It meant if Travis said no, he would be the bad guy and Dee didn’t want that. She knew how important Travis and Annie were to each other, and if things progressed the way she thought they would for Dianne, Travis and Annie would soon need each other more than ever.
‘Annie, you have to look after your dad, okay? That’s your special job. That is what I need you to do when I’m gone.’
‘But,’ Annie sniffed, ‘you’re supposed to look after Dad. You’re supposed to get married like Anna and Kristoff, remember?’
Dee was in physical pain. Holding back her tears hurt—her throat burned and her chest constricted. ‘Life is not a movie, Annie,’ Dee said. ‘Your dad and I can’t get married just because that’s what you want.’
Annie’s face was awash with tears now and her cries had become audible. Tammy looked over as Dee wrapped her arms around the little girl.
‘But I wished for it,’ Annie said. ‘I wished for it in the fairy garden at the park on the way to school with Mrs Potts. She said it really works. I wished for you and Dad to get married like Anna and Kristoff, and I wished for Grandma to get better. Mrs Potts promised me it would work! And I don’t think Mrs Potts would lie, even when she is in a grumpy mood.’
Dee pressed her mouth into a thin line. So, old Mrs Potts did have a heart after all, but however well-intentioned the old woman might have been, it didn’t help the situation. Fanciful ideas of fairies would only add to Annie’s pain. Selfishly, Dee wished the morning would come so she could leave the valley, the anguish and the heartbreak behind her. She simply wasn’t cut out to love this deep. This pain was way too exquisite.
‘Annie,’ Tammy called from behind the counter, ‘have you ever seen out the back of a restaurant?’
Annie shook her head solemnly, but her eyes brightened at the promise of an exciting adventure.
‘Doreen!’ Tammy called. ‘We have a special guest out here. Can you please come and give her the grand tour of the kitchen and storeroom?’
Doreen, a burly woman with a broad smile appeared from the back room. Her eyes found Annie and her smile became wider. ‘Sure! Are you the special customer?’
Annie, now distracted by being the centre of attention, stood up. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded.
‘Well,’ Doreen said, ‘come on, the tour starts now.’
Annie bustled over, but hesitated when she got to the side of the counter. Tammy and Doreen assured her it was okay to step behind. Dee took a breath as Annie took Doreen’s hand and disappeared into the back room. Tammy lumbered over to Dee’s table, shoved the pancakes to one side and took a seat.
‘What on earth is going on? You look like you’ve just been shot and little Annie is hysterical. What’s happening? Has Dianne Parker taken a turn for the worse?’ Tammy’s brow crinkled with concern.
‘No, it’s not Dianne. It’s just …’
Tammy tapped her foot against the linoleum. ‘Out with it,’ she urged.
‘I’m leaving tomorrow, for my new job, but I’ve become quite close to Annie and …’
‘And?’
Dee gulped, her mind filling with thoughts of Travis, and she began to shake. She rested her arms on the tabletop, but still, her body convulsed.
‘Jesus, what’s going on?’ Tammy said with a gasp. ‘Listen, love, I know we don’t know each other very well, but you’ve got to tell me what’s going on, so I can help you.’
Dee burst into tears. ‘I am leaving,’ she spluttered. ‘I’m leaving, but I …’
‘Oh, for the love of Christ! What is it girl?’
She paused. ‘I don’t want to leave.’
‘Because?’
Dee sucked in a breath, filling her lungs before expelling the disused air. She steadied herself, pressing her hands into the table.
‘I love Annie,’ she declared. ‘And I love Travis.’
Tammy’s jaw dropped. ‘Oh.’
She sat for a moment, looked out the window, then back at Dee. ‘Well,’ she said, raising her hands, ‘what are you doing here?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You need to figure out how to get out of this new job of yours. And you need to tell Travis how you feel. No good starting something new and thinking about the future if you’re still stuck in the present. What have you got to lose?’
‘What if he doesn’t feel the same way?’ Dee whispered.
Tammy scanned her up and down. ‘Can’t see why he wouldn’t. But, if he doesn’t, you’ll just have to live with it.’ Tammy sucked in a breath and pounded her fist on the table. ‘All I know is, you can’t live a life full of regret. Take a chance on love. If you fall, you fall. You’ve got that fancy job as a back-up.’
‘That’s the thing,’ Dee said, ‘I’ve worked hard for a long time to get this job.’
Tammy belly-laughed, the noise deep and loud. ‘Jobs come and go, trust me. Sometimes, you only get one chance at true love. Is that what it is, Dee? True love?’
‘It is for me,’ Dee said.
‘Then, my girl, you have some shit to sort out.’
Dee let go then and felt the tension of the last week leave her. She’d do it. She was going to take a chance.
‘Annie!’ she called. ‘We need to go!’
37
Dee pulled into the driveway and wrenched the handbrake on.
‘Whoa,’ Annie said, ‘that was a fast drive! Look’—she pointed a finger in the direction of Travis’s ute—‘Dad’s already home from Grandma’s.’ Annie’s voice turned to a whisper. ‘Have you told Dad you’re leaving yet?’
‘Annie,’ Dee turned to her, ‘do you mind going straight to your bedroom when we go inside? I have to talk to your dad about me leaving. Is that okay?’
‘Okay. But don’t forget to wake me before you leave in the morning. I want to have a big goodbye hug. And maybe it will make you stay.’
‘I promise I won’t leave without saying goodbye,’ Dee said. ‘I promise to wake you.’
She took a breath and steeled herself. There was a chance she was about to get her heart broken and crushed. But, as Tammy had intimated, it was a risk worth taking.
Annie and Dee slid from the car and hurried inside.
Travis was sitting at the kitchen table wearing his trademark jeans teamed with a black t-shirt. True to her word, Annie wasted no time. She sidled up to her dad, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
‘Night, Dad!’
Travis kissed her back. ‘Night, honey. How was dinner?’
‘I got a tour of the back room. It was because I’m a special customer.’
Travis glanced at Dee. ‘Of course you are,’ he said. ‘You are the most special customer there is.’
&nb
sp; ‘Can we go there again? To Tammy’s? On the weekend?’
‘Can’t see why not,’ Travis said, directing a steely glance at Dee yet again. ‘Why don’t we go there for breakfast?’
‘Okay,’ Annie said thoughtfully. ‘As long as I don’t miss out on saying goodbye to Dee,’ she said, and then clamped a hand over her mouth, clearly realising she’d just told her dad that Dee was leaving town.
Travis said nothing. Dee winked at Annie to let her know she wasn’t mad, and Annie waved at them both and went to her room.
Dee slowly, carefully, pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and sat. Travis toyed with the edge of the fruit basket, picking at the handle, and stared at it intently.
Dee cleared her throat. ‘I need to speak to you about something.’
‘Okay.’
Dee took the one-word response as her cue to go ahead. ‘Travis, this job is a huge deal for me.’
Travis said nothing, his gaze remaining trained on the section of the fruit bowl where his fingers rested.
‘But the thing is,’ she continued, ‘Trav, I don't want to take the job.’
Travis’s fingers left the fruit bowl and he looked up at Dee with those piercing blue eyes. She realised it was the first time in a week that he’d looked at her, properly looked at her. His expression was touched with uncertainty, but at its core was hope. It gave Dee the encouragement she needed to continue.
‘I don’t want to take the job because I want to stay here.’ She took a deep breath. ‘With Annie, and with you.’
Travis didn’t move. He was statue-like, his gaze locked on her, his hands still, his body unmoving.
‘Why?’ he croaked.
‘Why? Because, Travis.’
He waited, still unmoving, still staring at her with fierce intensity.
‘Because I love you,’ she finished.
Travis’s mouth quivered as he let out a breath, and he frowned. ‘What did you say?’
Winter in Mason Valley Page 22
