by A. J. Logan
“The day we went to see her. That’s why she didn’t want you to visit her. She said she couldn’t protect you while she was still in there. She asked me not to tell you. I shouldn’t have listened. I should’ve told you.” Victoria reaches for my hand but I jerk away from her, fear and pain in her eyes. But my mom is the one fighting for her life.
“She’s in here because of you. I could’ve protected her.”
“I—”
“Shut your fucking mouth. Nothing you say now will change this.”
The police officer asks Victoria for a description of the car, then asks more questions, but the words don’t make sense to my ears. The person in front of me, who withheld the truth from me, makes even less sense.
“You let me believe my mom wanted to die. Night after night, reliving the experience, thinking she chose death over me … Get out of my sight.”
“Please, just—”
“Now!” I shout as Asher rushes up, looking between the two of us. “Get this bitch out of my sight.”
Victoria flinches at my words, stepping back as Asher moves between us. Quinn tugs Victoria’s arm.
“Elliot,” my dad calls from across the room. Victoria played a part, but he orchestrated the entire fucking show.
Charging forward, I barrel into him. My fist rams against his face as we crash to the floor. Blinded by rage, I continue my assault until I’m hauled backward. I struggle against the hold on me, watching my dad slowly rise from the floor. The last thing I see is blood seeping from his nose as darkness overcomes me. My last thought is that blackness is better than red.
32
Victoria
That’s it. He’s never going to forgive me. We’ll never get past this because I never will myself. If I’d only said something, Olivia would be okay. And Elliot wouldn’t be unconscious on the floor, hospital staff surrounding him.
“We should go,” Quinn says, nudging my arm.
Stay with me. His voice sounds in my mind. But that’s not how he feels now. Everything is different.
“I can’t leave him.”
Asher steps in front of me. “Let’s go.”
“I should’ve told him,” I say, explaining the details to Asher. “I should’ve told.”
“Let’s just see how everything turns out with Olivia.”
My hands clutch my stomach as I double over. “You mean let’s see if Olivia dies. Either way, he’ll never forgive me and I’ll never forgive myself.”
Asher grips my arms, pulling me into a secure embrace. “Olivia is going to be okay, and so are you.”
But not Elliot. I need Elliot and Olivia to be okay. I need him. I need her. They need each other. And I need them.
Time keeps moving, but we don’t. We stand still as chaos ensues around us.
33
Elliot
Sitting in the stiff chair, I look over to my mom. Machines are hooked up to every inch of her body. I haven’t taken my eyes off her as I wait for her to wake up. The doctor said she made it through surgery good, so that was an encouraging sign, but it will be touch and go for the next twenty-four hours. The rhythmic beep tells me her heart is still beating, that’s what I’d needed when I’d walked into the room. Now I need her to look at me and tell me she isn’t going anywhere. I want her to tell me she didn’t try to leave me the first time, not by her own doing.
“Here, I grabbed you some coffee.” My dad holds out a paper cup.
I don’t make a move to accept it because I only want to throw it in his face. He gives up, setting it on the cabinet next to her bed, and resumes his seat across the room. It took us hours to get to this point, just to be able to be in the same room together. The only thing that stopped me from going after him again was the officer saying he’d take me to jail, away from my mom, so I calmed down enough to stay with her. She didn’t leave me, I’m not leaving her.
An unfamiliar officer walks into the room, motioning to speak with my dad but I stand too. Stepping to the door, the officer gives us a strained look. “Heidi has been located. I’m sorry to be the one to inform you, but she died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”
“The baby?” I ask.
The officer shakes his head as he looks to the floor. “I’m sorry.”
“No. No.” My dad shakes his head, his hand covering his face.
I don’t feel any sympathy for him, I can only manage to feel remorse for the child that will never be born. “Are you sure it was self-inflicted?”
My dad’s head lifts up, his pained eyes looking to me.
“Yes. It happened while she was evading capture, as officers approached her.” He tells my father a few more things before leaving us in the room with my mom. The broken family he didn’t want.
“Why would you ask that?”
“Mom thought you tried to kill her. She wasn’t that far off, was she? You did this. All of it, without any concern for anyone but yourself.”
“I’m not perfect,” he says.
I can’t help the dark laugh that escapes me. “‘Not perfect.’ That’s a stretch.”
“I would never kill someone. I might be a lousy father, but I would never take someone’s life.”
“You already have.”
His face tightens and he walks out of the room. I pray he never comes back because he leaves more pain in his wake than I do. And that’s hard to beat.
34
Victoria
I shouldn’t be here but I couldn’t stay away. Even after Asher told me that Olivia was okay, I need to see for myself. I need to check on her, and I need to make sure Elliot is all right, even if he never wants to speak to me again. I just need to tell him I’m sorry, one last time.
When I reach her room, I peek in, softly knocking when I see her eyes look to me. Tears immediately stream down my face as I move next to her bed.
“Victoria.” She says my name, a weak smile on her face.
I don’t want her to smile at me, I want her to hate me too. “I’m sorry. I tried to scream but it was too late.”
“This is not your fault. I put you in harm’s way, and for that, I’m so sorry. I wanted to keep Elliot safe—and we did—but I’m sorry I put you in the middle.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Where is he? How is he?”
“He’s upset, but he’s okay. And I’ve already explained to him this is all on me.”
“I don’t think that will make much of a difference.” Once something is in his head, there’s no getting it out. He blames me, and I don’t blame him for it. “I should go. I just wanted to see you.”
“Please come back and visit when you can. I’m itching to get back to my art and to have my favorite student back.”
“I’m your only student.”
“You’re so much more than that.”
“Thanks. I’ll try to stop by soon.” I feel bad for lying to her, but I shouldn’t be here. Elliot should be here with his mom.
I hurry out of the room, hoping to avoid the exact person I crash into. His harsh grip steadies me before pushing me away.
“Elliot, I—”
“Don’t stop by soon. Stay as far from her, and me, as you can.”
“I wasn’t planning to come back. She insisted, so I agreed because I didn’t want to upset her.”
“Yes, lying is your way of making things easier.”
“I’m sorry. I did it because I love you. Because I didn’t want to lose you. But it’s fine. I’m fine. The only thing that matters is you and Olivia are alive. That was my way of making my life easier, because I need her and you and your stupid ass alive.” Stepping around him, I hurry away, but he says my name. Against my better judgment, I turn to him, hoping to see anything but the brutal look he has on his face.
“Do not come back here.”
Nodding in agreement, I will keep my side of the bargain because coming back here would be a mistake. Just like falling in love with the guy in front of me had been.
“Hopeless.”
35
Elliot
Hopeless. I hear the word and it reverberates through every ounce of my body as she walks away. I fucking hate that word … because it’s true. It was hopeless from the beginning.
My fist slams into the metal door frame as I walk back into my mom’s room. The pain from that is better than the pain from her.
“You need to apologize,” my mom says as I plop down on the stiff couch. “I want her around and I know you do too.”
“Then you don’t know me very well.”
“Yes, I know you pretty good. I know that you’ve been in love with that girl since you first laid eyes on her. It was clear every time I saw you look at her, and it’s still the way you look at her. I begged her not to tell you, to help me protect you. I thought your father wanted me dead. I had no clue it was really Heidi. Victoria lied for me.”
“She lied to me … and I almost lost you again.” Anger. Frustration. Desperation. My emotions overwhelm me now as they did in the moment … the one where I’d once again begged my mom not to leave me. “Why didn’t you say something to me?”
Her hands drop to her lap and her eyes follow, looking away from me. I know she hadn’t wanted to leave me, but I still don’t understand.
“Did you not trust me? Did you think I tried to help Dad off you or something?”
“No. Never. But I didn’t know who I could trust, and rightfully so. Heidi showed up that night, crying and completely fooling me into thinking she was an innocent victim in all of this. She told me she hadn’t known Richard was married when the affair started. She said when Richard found out about the pregnancy, he told her he was married and bailed on her. I was hurt. I was angry. But more than anything, I was sad. Heidi was crying hysterically and started to feel faint. Or, at least, she pretended to. Maybe it was an act. I went to grab her a glass of water, but when I returned, she was gone.
“Your father showed up soon after. I told him it was over. That I wanted a divorce, but he refused. He said he wanted to work our marriage out and that Heidi was a mistake. I told him I was done, to get out, and he finally left the house. He wasn’t even supposed to be in town. He’d told me he had a business trip, but he had planned to stay with her.
“I finished off the bottle of wine I’d been drinking when Heidi had shown up. Next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, unsure of how I got there and why my wrists were bandaged up. I told the doctors everything. That I didn’t know what happened. That I didn’t try to take my life, but no one seemed to listen. Then I found out the report for the police had been altered. There was nothing in it about Heidi, and it stated Richard was out of town. I thought he had it altered to protect himself.”
It’s a lot of information to take in but I still don’t understand. “But why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I thought you wanted to die. Then when you survived, you didn’t want to see me …” The ache of it all is still there even though I know it’s not the truth. I’d felt it so deeply for so many months, it’s almost too hard to let go of the pain.
“I was worried Richard would try to kill you too. I didn’t want to believe he could possibly do that to you, but I didn’t want to chance it. I just knew that someone slit my wrists, and it wasn’t me. Richard was the last person I saw, he didn’t want a divorce because he didn’t want to lose any shares of Bass Industries. Money has always been his weakness, and I didn’t know what he would do if he was desperate.” She looks to me, tears falling down her cheeks. “I couldn’t put you in danger. I didn’t know who to trust. I couldn’t even trust my own memories at first because everything was so foggy. I requested the toxicity report after I was released. I was drugged that night. It had to have been Heidi. It had to. She must have drugged my wine and hidden in the house until your father left. But now I guess we’ll never know.” Her voice trails off, her eyes full of haunting questions that will never be answered.
“You didn’t choose to leave me. That’s all I need to know.” Clearing my throat, I’m unable to compose myself. Overwhelming relief pulls at my heart. It’s no use. I succumb to my emotions, letting tears of both happiness and sorrow fall as I move next to the hospital bed, embracing my mom in a hug. “Thank you for staying.”
“I’d never leave you. I was trying to keep you safe. And so was Victoria. There was an employee at the facility who constantly hovered around me, so I was concerned Richard was monitoring my every move. I overheard that employee on the phone multiple times, giving updates of Victoria’s visits. When the employee had been distracted with escorting you out of the room, I took the opportunity to confide in Victoria, the only person I knew I could trust to help me keep you safe. That’s why she lied to you, and that’s how I know beyond a doubt that she loves you back. She risked losing your love to save your life.”
“Hopeless. Her word, not mine. It’s been the running theme every time we’ve tried and failed to make it work.”
“Maybe hopeless is the theme but not in the way you’re thinking. Maybe, just maybe, not being together is hopeless, and that’s why you continue to try, and still want to.”
Stepping away from my mom, I head to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To ask the nurse for some of the drugs you’re on because that has to be some good stuff to believe all the BS you’re saying.” I walk out the door, heading down the hallway until I stop at the small waiting area. Dropping into a chair, I sit, watching as people come and go, not wanting to think of what my mom said. She’s wrong though. The only thing that is hopeless is us actually being together after everything that’s happened.
36
Victoria
Walking through the hallways of Golden Olympus Academy, I slap Zeus on the ass, say a quick thanks that it’s Friday, and appreciate that the school day is over. The statue might be a silly superstition, but I don’t care. I need all the luck I can get, and I’m just happy the week is over. All week I’ve gone through the motions, watching for him, trying to prepare myself. Today was the day Elliot returned to school, but I’d been foolish to think I could prepare myself. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the beaming smile on his face, the joking demeanor, just the same as he always was. Only I didn’t get the kind or brutal version of him. I got nothing. Not a look, not a glance, not even a “go to hell.” It’s for the best because the real hell had been thinking we had a chance at making it work.
Hurrying out of the building, I head home. At least I can get some laps in without worrying about him being around. He’s been avoiding my house as much as he’s avoiding me. It’s easier that way for sure because seeing him today was miserable.
When I arrive at home, I grab a bottle of water before heading to my room. Something flashes out of the corner of my eyes, pulling my attention to the side. My dad stands there, a sadistic grin on his face as the glass bottle slips from my hand, shattering when it hits the marble floor.
“Not happy to see me?” He takes a step in my direction, and I manage to keep my balance though my shoes slip in the water. “I thought you’d be happiest of all to know I’m a free man, and it’s all thanks to you.”
“What?”
“My lawyer was able to get some of the evidence dismissed, tossed out, and it was all connected to Nathan, thanks for that key to the puzzle. All my lawyer needed was the confirmation from you. You did great, princess.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Oh, I’m going to call you a lot of things, and you will listen to every word. Follow every command. If I say jump, you’ll do it and you won’t ask questions. Control of this household is mine. Whoever doesn’t agree, doesn’t survive. From now on, you’ll know exactly why your brother and mother wanted me locked away. Although, your brother isn’t complaining much. Now.”
I rush forward, skidding to a stop as he flashes a pistol, waving it in the air. “Follow instructions or you join him.”
“Where is he?”
He motions to the
door leading to his office. I’m scared out of my mind, but my legs dart across the room anyway because I need to know Asher is okay. I need to find out this is some sick mindfuck that my father is playing, but it’s not. I scream, dropping beside Asher as my hands cover his head where blood seeps from several gashes.
Looking to the sadistic bastard in the doorway, I scream, “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do this. He did this. You did this. And she did this.” He motions to the corner of the room where I see my mother, bloodied and in a fetal position, and that’s when I realize none of us are getting out of this house alive.
My hands tremble as I gently shake Asher. He moans before murmuring, “He snuck up on me. I tried to warn you.”
“Yeah, so pitiful. He was so distracted punching numbers on his phone that he didn’t see the blow coming to his head.” The evil monster knocks the butt of the gun against his head, grinning. “Apparently it hurts.”
“Hello!” My heart sinks when I hear Elliot yelling for Asher.
My dad points the pistol at my brother as he says to me, “Get rid of him, or they both die.”
“Okay.” But how can I not ask for help? We’re all as good as dead if I don’t figure a way out of this. Stiffly stepping to the office door, I feel metal dig into my back. The gun.
“Where’s Asher?” Elliot asks, looking everywhere but at me. “His phone is turned off and I need to ask him something.”
“He’s at Allison’s.”
Bingo. Elliot eyes dart to mine, giving me a look like I’ve lost my mind. “Victoria,” he says.
I discreetly turn my palms to face him, his eyes immediately drop to my brother’s blood on my hands. “I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.”
