He gently nudged her hand off his face and turned away to stare out at the moon and orange grove from his office window. “That’s fast and improbable since you’ve been lying.”
Her chin lowered. She’d lost and there was no coming back. She glanced at him, hoping this wasn’t the end as she said, “I don’t know what you want me to do, Maverick.”
Tears continued to fall down her face. He didn’t look at her but gave her his back, his attention fully out the window. “Pack your suitcase and go back to one of your estates. Leave my boy and me alone.”
This was what loving someone who hated her was like. Until now she hadn't understood how her heart might feel like she’d been stabbed multiple times. Her lips quivered as she asked his back, “You're kicking me out?”
He turned toward her and didn’t seem to care as he stared right through her, distaste in his tone, “You can make it back to your mansion where security will keep you out of sight.”
Until now she’d never had her name used a weapon. Her heart was on the floor and she had no answers. Her sorry wasn’t enough. “I’ll leave if you want, Maverick. But let me say first that I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I lied. I should have trusted you and told you when we became close in Tampa.”
He sighed and said, “I wish you had.”
“Me too.” Her shoulders sagged. She headed toward the door and he didn’t follow.
The lights were off in the hall and living area. The darkness should have chilled her to the core, but instead more tears raced down her face as she ran to her room.
She quietly closed the door and collapsed on the floor, holding her legs and letting herself cry.
If only she’d told Maverick.
If only she’d been brave.
But now her heart was chopped up and left in a pieces--there was nothing she could do.
This wasn’t where she belonged.
Once she had the strength to get up and her tears had subsided so that she could drive, she packed her bag like she was heading to a funeral instead of home.
It only took a few minutes but she rolled it down the hall and stopped at the nursery.
She left her stuff outside and tiptoed into the nursery.
Carter was sound asleep with a bottle in the corner of the crib, waiting for when he woke in a few hours.
She wouldn't feed him ever again.
She quietly kissed and rubbed his head for the last time and her heart twisted.
Jess whispered to the sleeping angel, “Goodbye.”
She left, entering the hall. In the living area, she saw Maverick and he stood where she’d kept Alicia until he came home. How could he not see her heart?
He kept his hands in his back pockets as he asked, “Do you have everything?”
More tears threatened and she'd thought she was done with those. She couldn’t look at him as she stared at the door and wished she could stay and that he loved her. But she let out a long breath and said, “Everything but the pieces of my heart I can’t put back together. Catherine Morgan might be all over the news and fancy, but Jess Taylor… she hasn’t loved anyone like I love you, Maverick. I’ll fix things with Colt.”
“Don’t bother.” He walked with her to the door like he might kick her out if she didn't leave on her accord.
She stepped onto the porch. Her stomach did a flip as she looked at him and she went up on her tiptoes, kissing his cheek. He didn’t pull away, but she now had his taste on her lips that she’d have to memorize forever. “Give Carter a kiss from me and make sure you get someone amazing to watch out for him.”
Without another word she headed into the open carport and the beep of her car that unlocked sounded like a siren in the air.
Maverick didn’t love her.
She’d lost.
Jess drove on the highway toward Miami with the windows open. Driving in the middle of the night meant no one was on the road and she went faster than she should have.
The sting of the wind stopped her tears.
Halfway down the road she realized she didn’t have her phone. She still had the one Maverick lent her. But she wasn’t going back.
It was too late.
She’d never go back and the thought twisted her insides.
By the time she made it to her condo and her roommates, her cheeks were dry.
Her shoulders slumped with defeat, but she'd made it home.
She forced herself to hand the keys to the building valet and headed inside the bright white lobby of her building.
No one should have this many lights on in the evening.
Her eyes burned from the artificial illumination.
She shuffled toward the elevator and then up to her condo door. Her keys fit into the locks, and she stepped inside. Dark-haired Italian Valentina, and Camila, Catherine's cousin, left their half bottle of wine and rushed to hug her.
She was home.
These were her friends, her people.
Everything should be fine.
But the memory of when Maverick held her tight replayed in her head.
Tears threatened but she forced herself to smile as the hug ended. Camila, with her California optimism said, “Catherine, we saved you a glass of wine.”
Once upon a time, she hadn’t known how easy it was to lose her heart, and she’d thought she was happy like Camila. Now her entire body was hollow as she asked, “You knew I was coming?”
Valentina nodded as she poured a third glass of wine. “I saw on the news that you'd left the farm. Here.”
Right. She had no privacy. She took the glass and sipped but the sweet wine somehow tasted… sour. She sighed. “Sorry I didn’t call. I never got my phone back from Maverick.”
Camila led them to the living area where they usually talked about their lives over wine and ice cream and peanut butter cups. But today, none of that even tempted her. All she wanted was Maverick.
And it was the one thing she couldn’t have.
Camila hugged her side and asked, “He took your phone?”
What? She scratched her head and sat in her usual spot as she answered, “No, I just forgot it when I left. I turned it off so Brock couldn’t contact me while I was there.”
“Or us.” Valentina picked up the empty bottle on the side table. “I’ll get more wine. Then you can tell us all about this Maverick you were kissing.”
They knew? Adrenaline shot through her and she sipped her drink. When Valentina returned, Jess asked, “Was that in the news?”
Camila elbowed her as she answered, “Oh, yes. Catherine Morgan staying at a three star hotel… with that hot looking guy… I think he’s a trade up from Brock.”
“Anyone would be that.” Most guys were a trade up from her high school mistake. She stared into the red liquid. Maverick’s kiss tasted better than this expensive bottle. “I don’t want to talk about Brock, ever.”
Valentina plopped in the chair across from her and shrugged as she sipped her wine. “Fair enough. Your brothers paid him off so he’ll never bother you again.”
Her stomach churned. Jess put her glass down and she licked her lips, missing the flavor of Maverick that she ached for. “I wish they hadn’t. That’s the opposite of what I wanted.”
Camila smacked her gums in disapproval and flipped her shiny dark hair behind her ears. “With Peter’s wedding coming up they wanted this man gone. And you weren’t answering. Tess argued and we backed her up, but you weren’t here.”
Without intending to, she yawned, emotionally exhausted. Jess realized that wallowing might have been better at the Orlando estate but she’d wanted her family close.
She needed people who cared, but right now she was too tired to be good company. Folding her hands in her lap, she answered, “I don’t care about Brock. And I don’t want to cause Peter and Belle any drama on their wedding. They’ve been through a lot.”
“It still wasn’t your fault. Brock was the low life and we’ll never mention him again.” Valentina perused her with
an all-knowing gaze. “You look awful.”
Camila gave another of her California smiles as she asked, “So how was farm life? And this Maverick Appleton. If I’d have known he was that hot, I’d have sent you with my photo.”
Jess glanced at her joking friend and for one second the burden of the world lessened. She could still smell the oranges in her nostrils and a sense of peace hit her fast, being alone in a house in the middle of nothing but farm all around. “Wonderful. I loved it there. He’s also the CEO of Agri International and the farmhouse was more a mansion with full time staff. I wasn’t roughing it here.”
Valentina’s pursed red lips as she studied her face made Jess blush as she asked, “Then why are you here?”
Most of the time, Jess enjoyed Valentina’s focused observations, but right now, she wished her law-school student best friend was less attentive. There was no way to hide her embarrassment. “Because I didn’t tell Maverick that I was Catherine. I lied by omission and he thinks I sabotaged a deal he was up against Colt with.”
Camila blinked and tilted her head as she put her wineglass down. “Colt? Vicki’s husband?”
And now she was in for the divergent opinions with Valentina’s black and white legal side and Camila’s sunshine and roses view. Jess remembered Maverick, and how he'd held her tight after their intimate interlude. How close she'd felt to him, and he'd seemed open to her.
If only she’d told him in the limo. She’d wanted too. They were in an enclosed place to talk about it, but her fear stopped her. She hadn’t wanted to be a Morgan at that moment because of what her family had done to him. He might have hated her and she hadn’t taken the risk. Losing him was her fault.
Maybe he wouldn’t have believed she’d ever hurt him. She had the resources to help. “Yeah. Colt and Maverick are both after some peaches shipping contract. I told him the last time I'd seen Colt was at a family function months ago, but since I'd lied about who I was… why would he believe me?”
Valentina lifted her glass and took a dainty sip. “You are in love with him.”
Her skin buzzed as she stared at the marble floor of her condo. She’d gone there as Jess to get away from the press. As soon as they'd danced on his patio, she’d started having feelings for Maverick. After they made love, she’d heard how he hated Morgans. She stared at her shoes. “Doesn’t change anything, sadly. Catherine Morgan doesn’t get a happily-ever-after. Y’all are stuck with me.”
Camila scooted closer and hugged a throw pillow as she asked, “Umm, why don’t you get a happily-ever-after?”
Her cousin was now the only roommate who hadn't suffered heartbreak. When they'd first met, Valentina had been hurt by Jess’s half-brother Antonio. Jess rested her head on the back of the couch and studied the crystal chandelier. Hers was much smaller, which was funny. She’d have never thought Maverick would own one at all--her throat became scratchy and her eyes moistened again. “Because Maverick hates me.”
“Prove to him you love him," Camila said. "It’s what usually works in the movies.”
Valentina scowled at her. “Movies aren’t real.”
For the first time, she understood Valentina's dark outlook. Jess sat up, hoping she didn’t become bitter like her friend.
But then Valentina smiled as if struck by an idea. “Look, my brother Rafe is friends with Colt. I've overheard them talking at family gatherings--they played football together in high school. I can text him and maybe he can stop whatever Colt is planning.”
She'd be glad to help Maverick, even behind the scenes. He didn't have to know she'd said a word. She swallowed her last bit of wine and nodded. “Okay. It’s time to take my place as a Morgan. I’ll call Mitch and Tess and tell them I’m ready to go to work in a few hours.”
Camila shook her head, “Tomorrow. Or even the next day. It’s late and there is no rush. Let yourself get some sleep or you’ll crash.”
Late meant that Tess, who was now a mom, was probably sleeping. She always knew what to say and do but her advice would have to wait.
Either way it was time to be Catherine from now on again. Jess was gone.
Catherine sighed as she said, “I don’t care if I crash. I don’t care about anything.”
A knock echoed through their condo.
Catherine glanced at the clock. Three o’clock in the morning wasn’t a normal time for visitors and security hadn’t buzzed for permission. Valentina stood, grabbed the bottle of wine like it might be a club, and said, “Hmm. Someone’s at the door.”
Her friend crossed the tile floor. Camila had Valentina’s back like she’d toss her heels as projectiles. Catherine stood in case she was needed as she was unsure what was going on.
Footsteps echoed and she sat straighter the second she saw her sister’s pert nose that was the same as Tanya’s and her clear brown eyes signaled she’d know what to do. Catherine rushed to the door and opened her arms for a hug as she said, “Tess!”
Her sister hugged her tight and Catherine hoped Tess had all the answers, like when she’d been in the third grade and Billy had knocked her down with his bike in the school yard. Tess had told Jess to tell and not put up with bullying.
Tess touched Catherine's face. “I heard you were coming back. Are you okay?”
“Valentina texted you?”
“Yeah.”
She must have horrible black shadows under her eyes but she didn’t try to hide. “I don’t know what to do.”
Her sister glanced at the others and took her hand. “Can we talk alone for a minute?”
“Sure,” Valentina said. "Let's go to my room, Camila." Valentina took the opened bottle of wine with her as they left the living area.
Once they were gone, Tess said, “Okay, you look miserable. Talk.”
How much could she say? She always told Tess everything, but she'd lied. And she didn’t need to hear someone else tell her how she'd ruined everything. She never should have lied. Her ruined life was all on her she thought as she huffed out a breath. “Miserable? That’s an understatement. I lost.”
Tess began to look more and more like her mother, Catherine’s adopted mom who was in Paris right now. Catherine inhaled deeply as Tess asked her, “What did you lose?”
No one else would get what she had to say about being two people. Memories of Maverick were like nails hammered into her heart that would never go away. “My heart. My dignity. My pride. All because I lied--I am not Jess. I’m Catherine.”
Tess even sounded like their mom when she said, “Look, being a Morgan isn’t a bad thing.”
Adrenaline rushed in her veins. Maybe her sister didn’t understand? She paced the room and shook her head. “You married into the Morgans. It’s different for you.”
“Pacing is new for you,” Tess said, and Jess stopped Was she mimicking Maverick without realizing it? Because she missed him? “You're the only sister I had as a girl so when I think of you, you’re my sister first. But being a Morgan is a bit much, no matter how you come into the family.”
Agreed. Catherine was related to a lot of people, but Jess only had Tanya, their mom, and Tess. Her sister marrying into the Morgans had made staying one family easy but Jess didn’t want the rest of the family. She wanted Tess, and when she returned, their mom.
But unlike their mom and Tess, Jess was cursed with being born a Morgan and honestly had more problems with all the money in her bank account. Being blackmailed for something in high school when she hadn’t known she was even taped was just the tip of the iceberg. The spotlight never left the Morgans and she was constantly a target for money seekers. “Look, you’re married to a great guy. You have children. You don’t need to deal with my sadness.”
Tess walked toward the window and joined Jess to stare out into the black night as palm trees swayed. Her sister placed her hand on her shoulder and said, “So you finally fell in love.”
Yes, but Maverick would never love her back. She swallowed and wished somehow she could fix everything that she'd done, an
d start over. Maverick didn’t believe in her. “Doesn’t matter.”
Tess took her hand back. “It does. I just need to confirm from Valentina’s quick texts tonight that we are talking about Maverick Appleton and not some random farmer.”
“Yeah.” Jess turned toward her sister who had her hands folded together. “He is the owner and CEO of Agri International.”
“Ohh.” Tess grew a bit of a blush as she said, “I was working on a deal with Colt and -”
“You were!” Jess staggered as if her sister had just stabbed her in the back. Energy rushed into her as she remembered how angry Maverick had been earlier about that contract, when she'd known nothing about it. Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she said, “He’ll never believe I had nothing to do with it.”
Tess said, “Look, I was always good at corporate negotiations. Let me talk to Maverick. We’ll straighten out the peaches thing so the Morgan name isn’t attached.”
At least she could stop whatever might hurt Maverick and Carter. Her arms ached for them both like they were her family now too. “He won’t talk to a Morgan.”
Tess patted her shoulder and said, “Let me try to work out a deal and then maybe you can reach out to him later?”
Jess needed to find a way to forget Maverick, not seek forgiveness. He didn’t care about her. She'd lost that chance. She sighed and turned toward the window as clouds moved so she could see the crescent moon that had guided her back to Miami. “Do what you want. I don’t want him hurt, but I don’t have expectations of that fixing anything between us. He told me to go.”
Her sister said, “I’ll be sure he gets his contract so that’s not an issue.”
It would be a help. She pivoted fast and hugged her sister, who had come at this hour with a solution. “Tess, I love you. Thank you for being my sister.”
Tess hugged her back. “Look, we’ll see you at work when you’re feeling better, and not until then. When I thought I'd lost Mitch, I went to Grand Bohemia for a few days to help Caro plan her wedding.”
Secret Cowboy Page 13
