by Lexi Wilson
My stomach hurt, both from my vomiting and the fact that I’d lied about being sick. The truth was, I’d experienced this kind of thing before, and I knew exactly what it was—morning sickness. I was pregnant.
Rolling on to my back, I sighed. After making sure I couldn’t hear Daniel coming, I hopped out of my bed and headed back into the bathroom. I threw open the medicine cabinet to check my birth control pills.
A careful review of the pills proved that every single one had been taken. I groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face.
“Damn it,” I said.
They always tell you that no form of birth control is one-hundred percent effective, but it honestly had never occurred to me that this could happen. Who thinks they are going to be the one percent?
It had taken me a long time to get pregnant when I was married to Blaine, almost long enough that we considered fertility treatments. The entire time I’d assumed that there was something wrong with me, that I had issues. Blaine hadn’t done much to suggest otherwise.
After I’d gotten pregnant, we stopped caring about that sort of thing. We had our miracle baby.
I closed the medicine cabinet with a sigh and headed back to bed. The only hope I had was that I was wrong, and I actually was sick. I laughed at the idea. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that was the case, I knew it wasn’t true.
Call it mother’s intuition or simple experience. I had no doubts.
Footsteps from the hall reached my ears, and I burrowed deeper into the bed. I couldn’t deal with Daniel right now, not until I had a better handle on what was even going on. I needed to make some firm decisions on my plans for the new baby before I spoke to him about it.
The door banged open, and I burrowed deeper into the covers. I knew he’d leave me alone since he thought I was sick and wanted me to rest. After a quick check, he would head right out.
Cool air suddenly surrounded me, and I yelped, realizing someone had torn off my blanket. Talk about surprises.
“What the he—” I trailed off as I spotted not Daniel but Jacy standing over the bed, with a grin on her face and a plastic bag in her hand.
I’d gone from merely surprised to totally shocked since she was the last person I expected to see in the bedroom just now.
“What are you doing here, Jacy?” I asked.
“Helping you out.”
“How did you even know I was sick?”
Jacy smirked. “Daniel called Hunter to ask about the wedding. He was worried about you being too sick to come.” She made air quotes around the last four words.
I already didn’t like where this conversation was going.
“I’ve—got a stomach bug,” I said. “But it’s not a big deal. I’m sure it’s just a twenty-four-hour thing. No big deal.”
Jacy rolled her eyes. “Lying to your man is one thing, but lying to your best friend?” She tsked and wagged her finger. “That’s unforgivable.”
I sat up, staring at her. Did she know? She was certainly acting like it.
Jacy reached into the bag and pulled out a small box. She tossed it to me, and I snatched it out of the air.
“I thought you could use that,” Jacy said.
My eyes widened once I saw what it was—a pregnancy test.
“How did you know?” I whispered. “I just—I didn’t even know until earlier this morning, and maybe I’m wrong.”
“I had an inkling,” Jacy said. “The question I had was, how did this even happen?”
“I don’t know. I was using my birth control. I just double checked and I took every pill. I guess it just didn’t work.”
“Stranger things have happened. Maybe billionaire sperm is stronger.” Jacy nodded toward the bathroom. “Go test that bad boy out. Right now we’re both just assuming a lot, and you know what they say happens when you assume. You might be stressing yourself out for no good reason.”
I sighed and rolled out of bed, test in hand. I stepped into the bathroom and pulled out one of the sticks. After doing, my business, I paced in the bathroom, waiting—my heart pounding.
The thought of being pregnant again terrified me, and I realized then that I’d made a horrible mistake by not getting my tubes tied after losing my little boy.
Blaine might have been a selfish bastard, but I could understand partly where he was coming from. They’d told me before it was just a fluke, that it wasn’t my fault, but how could they be so sure? They didn’t even know about the genetic problems before he was born. Maybe there was something wrong with me, and my next baby would suffer the same problem.
I braced my arm against the wall as waves of nausea struck me. I couldn’t take that kind of pain again. The last time had almost destroyed me, but this time it would end me completely.
“You can wait out here with me if you want,” Jacy called from outside the bathroom.
“No, this is something I want to do alone,” I called back.
“Okay. You’re the boss.”
A few minutes passed, and I stared down at the stick, rubbing my hands together. As if mocking me for doubting the reality, a pink plus symbol sat in the center of the stick. Our assumption had become the bold truth. I picked the test up and tossed it into the box before opening the door and stepping back into the bedroom.
Numbness spread through me. It was my only defense against letting sadness return. All those emotions I’d thought I’d managed to get through now threatened to overwhelm me again. It was if going to my son’s grave had accomplished nothing.
So much for moving on. It was hard to think that I’d ever be able to.
“Well?” Jacy said.
I gave her a short nod.
“Congrats,” she said.
I shook my head and frowned. I handed her the box. “Put that in your bag and throw it away after you leave.”
“You’re not happy? I thought—I thought you would be.”
“No, I’m not—I don’t know how I feel. I also need you to promise me you won’t tell Daniel.”
Jacy peered at me like I was crazy. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Why? I don’t get this at all. You’re the perfect mom; just look how you’ve taken to Sasha. So why does having your own kid bother you? Half the reason you separated from Blaine was because he wouldn’t agree to try again.”
“You don’t get it, Jacy. I don’t blame you. I don’t think I got it myself until I stared at the test,” I sighed. “I don’t want Daniel to know because I don’t know how to handle this, and I don’t know what I’m even going to do. Things are—barely stable right now because of Blaine coming back, and this just might be one thing too many.” I locked eyes with her. “I need you to promise me that you’ll not say anything. I’m barely holding on to the edge of my sanity as it is.”
“Okay, okay,” Jacy said, holding her hands up in front of her. “I won’t say anything. I promise.” She shrugged. “So what’s the plan, then? You know I have your back. I just need you to tell me what to do.”
“I’m going to go down there and pretend like nothing’s happened. My stomach doesn’t feel as a bad as before, so it’s not even going to be that hard. Daniel’s smart in a lot of ways, but I don’t think he’s that great on picking up on female cues.”
“Okay. Understood. Let’s do this thing,” she grinned. “Everyone loves a secret.”
I scoffed. At least someone was being entertained by the whole situation.
Quickly throwing on some yoga pants and a T-shirt, I followed Jacy as we tromped down the stairs. Daniel was sitting on the couch, feeding Sasha. He looked up at me with concern on his face. The look stabbed at my heart, along with how good and natural he looked with Sasha.
With Blaine, I’d never been certain of what sort of father he would be. It had been so hard to tell, but with Daniel, he’d already proven he would be a great father.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Much better,” I said.
“Guess you d
idn’t need to come over after all, Jacy,” Daniel said.
Jacy smirked, “Yeah. No reason at all for me to come over here.”
He furrowed his brow and sighed. “Maybe it’s still best that you not handle Sasha today, Morgan.”
I reached the bottom of the stairs, followed by Jacy. “What are you talking about?”
“You might not have food poisoning.”
Bile rose in the back of my throat. “I—well, what else could it be?”
“I don’t know. Some sort of stomach virus. I just don’t want to risk the baby getting sick. We don’t know if you’re still contagious or not.”
I blinked, “Oh, okay. Yes, that makes sense.”
Jacy smiled at Daniel. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve taken the day off from work. I can help out with Morgan, and you can focus on work and the baby.”
Daniel looked between the two of us. “Thanks, Jacy. You sure you want to spend the day before your wedding helping out over here?”
Jacy shrugged. “No big deal. It’s just a courthouse thing.”
She gave me a meaningful look, and I smiled back. With everything that was going on, I’d forgotten how my friend always had my back.
We obviously wouldn’t solve this baby thing in one night, but at least for now, Jacy was buying me some time to think everything over.
Chapter 35
Daniel
The sound of crying woke me up in the middle of the night. It didn’t send my heart racing like it had when I’d first brought Sasha home. It had become routine.
I sat up and stretched with a yawn, glancing down at the other side of the bed, looking for my girlfriend. We tended to alternate night feedings under normal circumstances, not that I expected her to handle Sasha right then. The only thing was, Morgan wasn’t there, leaving me confused.
Even though she seemed to be fine the rest of the day, I didn’t expect her to take care of the baby, so I was surprised to see her up. If anything, I thought it was a bad idea, just in case she was still contagious.
Maybe Morgan thought I was overreacting and had decided to take care of the baby anyway. She might even be right about that. It wasn’t like we’d be able to quarantine someone anytime they got sick.
I listened for a few moments. Sasha continued crying, which suggested Morgan wasn’t taking care of her.
Had she gotten sick again? A glance over at the bathroom revealed it was still dark. She wasn’t in there either.
With a sigh, I headed downstairs to warm up a bottle. I didn’t mind having to feed the baby. I just didn’t like being confused. As I hit the bottom of the stairs, I could make out Morgan’s form on the couch. She stirred slightly, but I didn’t say anything.
I also didn’t understand why she was on the couch. Maybe she was worried about passing her sickness on to me. That might also explain how she’d acted the rest of the day, very distant, almost cold even.
It was hard not to read too much into that. It seemed like every step forward in our relationship was followed by two steps back. But I loved her, and I wanted to fight for her, even if she could be a bit moody. Considering everything she’d gone through, it was amazing she was as emotionally stable as she was.
Of course, there was always the possibility that she’d thought she’d made a mistake by agreeing to move in with me.
I shook my head, trying not to let paranoia seep back into my head. We’d come together and made our relationship official, so there was no point in inventing new reasons to be concerned. I’d probably be in a bad mood if I’d woke up vomiting too, let alone if I’d just had to deal with asshole soon-to-be ex-husband showing up out of the blue.
Morgan’s reasons for being on the couch didn’t matter right then. I still had a crying baby to handle.
I lingered for a moment before heading into the kitchen, wondering if Morgan was really sound asleep or just ignoring the baby.
In the kitchen, I warmed a bottle and headed upstairs to change Sasha and feed her. She was already half-asleep before she was halfway through the bottle and was completely out again once she finished.
Sometimes she didn’t want to go back to sleep, but this time she was cutting me a break.
I slipped Sasha back into her crib, wondering if I should go check on Morgan, but decided against it. She was a grown woman. If she felt like she needed to sleep on the couch, then I had no reason to question her or disturb in the middle of the night.
The only thing I could do was go back to bed and hope she felt better when she awoke.
When I woke up again, the sun was already up, and a little higher than I would have liked.
I winced when I checked my phone. We only had an hour to make it to the courthouse. I cursed myself for not setting an earlier alarm. Sleeping in on any other Saturday would have been fine, but not on the day of my best friend’s wedding.
Hunter was an understanding guy, but I wouldn’t allow myself to be late, if only because I didn’t need him cracking jokes about it for the next twenty years.
First things first, I needed to feed the baby. I tilted my head, listening. She wasn’t crying. Maybe she wasn’t awake yet. There was no way she was going to wake up after several hours and not be hungry, though. She just didn’t have that big of a stomach yet, something she reminded me of every few hours.
I headed toward Sasha’s room only to find the door already open. Morgan sat in a chair, rocking Sasha, a soft smile on her face.
I dropped a kiss on Sasha’s head then Morgan’s. She tensed at the contact.
“Something wrong?” I asked, tensing myself.
Morgan shook her head. “No, just tired. I was restless last night.”
“How are you feeling? Is your stomach still bothering you?”
“No, my stomach’s fine.” She smiled, but it looked very forced. “Really, I feel a lot better. I just think it was a touch of food poisoning.”
I nodded, even if I wasn’t totally convinced. “That’s good to hear,” I sighed. “But we’ll have to hurry so we can make it the courthouse.”
“I already fed and changed Sasha,” Morgan said, standing. “I’ll just put her little outfit on, put her in her playpen, and then I’ll get ready.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I watched Morgan as she stood. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Something was definitely off, but it would have to wait for now.
We stepped into the room only one minute before the ceremony was scheduled to start. Hunter wore a tuxedo and Jacy a low-cut white dress, more a cocktail number than a wedding gown. To be honest, it looked more like something you’d go clubbing in than going to a wedding.
“Cutting it close,” Hunter said with a grin. “Or were you just trying to upstage me?”
“Forgot to set my alarm,” I said with a shrug. “And I had to deal with a baby. Just wait until you have some kids.”
Hunter laughed. “Yeah. That’ll be wild. I’ll probably look like even more of a zombie than you did when you first brought Sasha home.”
Everyone shared a laugh, even the withered-looking justice of the peace. Almost everyone; I noticed Morgan, who was holding Sasha, didn’t laugh, but I didn’t want to bring it up right before the wedding.
The Justice of the Peace nodded toward the seats, and Morgan sat down. Sasha wasn’t asleep. Instead, she just stared at Jacy as if she were the most interesting thing she’d ever seen in her entire life.
The justice of the peace cleared his throat, and Hunter and Jacy turned to look at him.
“Dearly beloved,” the justice began, “we are gathered here today, in the sight of God and these witnesses, for the joining of Hunter Stevens and Jacy Kline in marriage.” He cleared his throat. “Marriage is the ultimate commitment, not just a legal joining, but a joining of hearts and souls. It’s not to be entered into lightly, and as these two become one today, they should reflect on the future that lies before them, not only the good times, of which there will be plenty, but also the painful times.” He looked at Hunter and Jacy in
turn. “Both man and wife have responsibilities in contributing to a successful marriage. Roles, equal and complementary.”
I spared a glance at Morgan. She watched the whole thing, her face impassive. Her best friend was getting married, and she looked like she was trying her best not to frown.
Did she disapprove of the marriage? It wasn’t exactly like Hunter and Jacy had known each other for all that long, but she’d also not said anything to suggest she objected to it at all.
My stomach tightened at another possibility. Morgan was only just finalizing her divorce after a painful and failed marriage. No matter how much she cared for her friend, it had to be hard to not feel some resentment or sadness when hearing a marriage ceremony.
Still, I couldn’t help but hope that it got her thinking about her own future and all the possibilities. We loved each other, lived together, and were helping to raise a baby together. I wasn’t ready to rush into marriage like Hunter and Jacy, but it no longer seemed crazy to think about it.
Everything that had happened with my sister and Sasha had taught me how short life could be. Waiting too long for everything to be perfect could lead to losing any chance at all.
“And, through the power vested in me by the State of Washington and King County, I now pronounce you, man and wife.” He smiled at Hunter, “You may kiss the bride.”
Crap. I’d somehow zoned out and missed most of the ceremony.
Hunter and Jacy didn’t seem to notice or mind as they locked lips.
I shook my head, grinning. After everything I’d said to Hunter about where he could find a wife, he’d been right. I looked over at Morgan. Maybe he’d been right for both of them.
Or maybe not. She was frowning. It was only when Jacy turned her way that she plastered a smile on her face.
Thinking back to the day before, I realized that Morgan must still not be feeling well. I could understand why she wouldn’t want to impact her best friend’s wedding day plans, but I wished she could have been a little more honest.
We could both stand to be a little more honest. I looked back over at Hunter. He was grinning like an idiot and shaking hands with the Justice of the Peace.
