by Lexi Wilson
There was a small part of me that wondered if I would be able to sustain this kind of job all the time. I didn’t want to get too comfortable, but at the same time, with each passing day, I felt like I had accomplished a little more and had become a little more comfortable with the position.
“Did they say anything about it?” I asked, looking up from the screen. He shook his head and folded his arms.
“Perhaps it was my macho way of telling them that we needed it done, perhaps it was the fact that, well, we need it done. Either way, they said they were going to get to it when they get the chance, and I told them I would pass that along to you.” He winked at me, and I shook my head. I had to admit, Jace had really stepped up to the plate in all this.
I had expected him and Molly to be willing to help, but I didn’t know they would be as capable of doing everything I asked as they were. Even as interns, they were running the place better than if they were being paid to do it. I made a mental note to ask Anthony when things were better if the two of them could be offered paid positions within the company.
“Well, they’ve got a couple of hours to get it done, then we’re closing up shop for the night,” I said as I glanced up at the clock. I knew Anthony was more worried about the work getting done than he was about paying anyone overtime, but I didn’t want to be the one to keep all these people at work late when we could catch up on things the next morning.
“Why don’t you wrap it up now, and Molly and I can finish up here? You’ve been working harder than the rest of us; I’m sure you could use some time to yourself,” Jace suggested. I gave him a smile. It was a sweet suggestion, though I disagreed that I was working any harder than anyone else. Sure, I was the one who was running all the errands and overseeing the other work in addition to what I was doing, but I still didn’t feel like I was doing more than he was.
Or Molly, for that matter. She seemed to be working every bit as hard as both -of us, though I hadn’t seen her as much. She was doing a fine job of keeping up with the constant stream of questions we had coming in. It felt like we’d gotten more new clients since Anthony had been gone than we had in the first week of my working at the company.
“But there’s still a lot I wanted to get done today,” I said with a chuckle. He shook his head.
“First of all, we can handle it. Second of all, it’s going to be here in the morning. Anything you don’t get to today is going to be here, still smiling and waiting for you when you come in at eight am.” He winked, and I looked up quickly.
“Excuse me, some of us get here at seven, thank you very much!” I teased. He put his hands up, feigning being offended at my outburst.
“Well, there are others of us who need our beauty sleep! Go on, get out of here!” he shooed me away with his hands, and I smiled once more as I rose from my chair. I gathered my things, giving him instructions to pass along to the rest of the group. Normally, I would have them wrap things up around five, but the way the day had gone, I figured they would be done closer to six.
“Don’t stay too late,” I reminded him on my way toward the door.
“We never do,” he told me with a laugh. I shook my head. He was charming and had quickly become one of my better friends in life.
But, once I was out of the building, my mind was immediately on other things. I’d been going to see Kellie at the hospital every night after work, and now that I was out early, I had the chance to spend more time with her. Anthony loved spending every moment he could with his daughter, but I knew he could use a break. And, I couldn’t blame him.
Of course, he would want to get out of there for a few moments a day if at all possible. There were so many things going on for him, it was no wonder the poor man was stressed out. I was doing what I could to ease the burden however possible.
It was difficult not being able to just erase the pain he was feeling or make the stress vanish. When I’d arrived at the hospital a few days previously, he was out in the hall arguing with his ex-wife on the phone. Of course, I knew better than to get involved in any way or ask any questions, save for whether there was anything I could do to make the situation better, but as usual, he insisted there wasn’t anything.
Kellie had quickly grown used to me coming to see her in the evenings and always greeted me with the most enthusiastic grin. There were many times as I walked into the room, I couldn’t help but wonder how any mother could be so disconnected to such a beautiful child.
As soon as I got to the hospital, I gathered my things and went inside. Sometimes I would go home first to get Bella, but I usually went straight over. I didn’t like having to see my mother before trying to get out of the house to head back to the hospital, and I quickly learned it was easier just to avoid her and go straight to see Kellie than to try to sneak out after I’d gone home.
“Stella!” Kellie fairly shouted when I walked into the room. Anthony looked up from his phone and smiled, but before I had the chance to say anything, Kellie continued, “We’re going to order a pizza! You should stay!”
“Oh, you are?” I asked with a smile.
“I was going to order from that place downtown near my apartment,” Anthony said as he continued to flip through his phone. “Do you care what we get?”
“Whatever the two of you like is great for me,” I said as I sat down on the end of the bed.
“Get pepperoni!” Kellie decided for all of us. It wasn’t long before the pizza was in the room, and the three of us were gathered at the end of the bed. With the constant IV in her hand, Kellie couldn’t go far from her place at the head of the bed. But, that didn’t stop her from coming down as close as she could to the foot to sit with the two of us.
Anthony sat on one side of the bed, and I took the other, with the pizza in between us. I stayed as long as I could, but I knew there were other things I had to get to that night, so I had to excuse myself shortly after we were done with dinner.
“Are you sure you have to leave now?” Kellie asked with a groan. I nodded, though I didn’t want to go.
“There are a few things I have to do for work yet, and I don’t want to get behind,” I explained.
“How are things going down there?” Anthony asked, a look of concern in his eyes.
I shrugged. “Well enough. We’re managing fairly well without you, though I have to admit it’s going to be nice to have you back.” I winked at him as I spoke, and he nodded.
“I’m looking forward to getting back, actually. I never thought I’d say that,” he said with a laugh. Of course, we both knew that he was going to have to stay at the hospital for as long as his daughter was admitted, but it felt good talking about when he would return to work. It gave us both hope that it was going to happen sooner rather than later, though neither of us knew when it was really going to.
I said my goodbyes to both of them and headed home, dreading seeing my mother. It was quickly becoming obvious to her that I was really only happy to see my dog when I walked through the door, and she was starting to resent me for it. I didn’t want to fight about it. She was the one who was choosing to get drunk all day long.
She knew I didn’t like being around her when she was drunk, and she still chose to be drunk most of the time. I felt trapped, and she didn’t seem to care.
I walked into the house with the familiar feeling of dread rising in my chest, but I was glad to find that the entire place was silent. Of course, I knew she hadn’t gone anywhere. I was the only one to ever go out to the store, getting the things she asked that I pick up, and usually doing all the cooking, as well.
I didn’t plan on cooking that night since I’d already eaten, and a feeling of relief washed over me when I realized she was already passed out on the couch. I glanced at the clock, shaking my seeing that it was only half past seven. I didn’t know how long she would be able to keep this up before her health declined even faster than it already was.
I didn’t know how long I would be able to put up with this, either.
&n
bsp; I wanted to move out as soon as possible.
Chapter 15
“What do you mean, we’ve got to do more tests? Aren’t we pretty much up to speed on the issue?”
I looked from one nurse to the other, waiting for the answer. I knew arguing with them was a lost cause, and if the doctor said they were going to do more testing, then they were going to do more testing, but it didn’t stop me from arguing with them about it.
“I’m sorry, Sir. I know this is difficult, but Dr. Zane wants to do another round before the week is out.” They never gave me much information about why they were doing what they were doing, only that they were going to do it.
“Each time we do this it makes her sick,” I argued.
“Daddy, it’s okay,” Kellie suddenly chimed in. “I’m okay.”
I looked at her with raised eyebrows. I didn’t think she was okay, at all. I didn’t like the sound of any of this, and I didn’t want to let her go.
“Really, I’m okay,” she insisted. “You should go home and get some rest. By the time you get back, it’s all going to be over,” she said cheerfully. I admired her courage, but I still didn’t want to consider letting her go. I shook my head as I looked at her.
“It’s okay,” she repeated.
I knew I was losing this battle, and at last, I agreed to let her go. The nurses took the bed and wheeled it toward the door, and Kellie assured me once again she was just fine. I shook my head. Everything as far from fine, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had to let her go whether I liked it or not.
When she was gone, I shook my head. I could feel the tension in my chest, and I wanted to punch the wall. I wanted to shout. I wanted to yell. I knew none of it would make any kind of difference, but I wanted to.
I sighed and put my hands in my pockets, pacing back and forth in her empty room. She was right. I didn’t need to be here supervising everything. Though she was still quite young, I knew she was safe here. There wasn’t anything I could do should anything happen that would make any kind of difference. I would have to just stand by and watch as the nurses went to work.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head once more. My thoughts were running through my mind faster than I could keep up with, and I knew I wasn’t going to do well going home alone. It would beat being in this empty room all night, being checked on by the nurses off and on. But, at the same time, I knew my apartment was going to seem even more quiet and lonely.
It was different when she was in the hospital than when she was with her mother. Though I knew being with Maisie certainly wasn’t the most ideal situation, at least when she was there, I knew she was healthy. Here, there was no telling what was going on or what could happen.
After arguing with myself, I decided to go. I didn’t want to deal with the nurses coming and going, and I certainly didn’t want Kellie to feel like I was hovering over her. She deserved respect, and if she wanted me to go, then I would go. It wasn’t going to be easy by any means, but I would survive.
And, I would be back the next day.
I walked out of the hospital, my heart racing with each step I took. There was a part of me that wondered if this is how things were going to be. Was I going to have to leave her here more often? Was she going to expect me to leave her when she was going to undergo more tests? Was there anything I could do that would help?
She was growing up so fast, but she was still so young. I was amazed at how wise she was beyond her years, but at the same time, I felt that she was still my little girl. She needed me here to watch over her. She needed me to make sure she was okay. I couldn’t just walk out and pretend she was old enough to handle any of this on her own. I had to be there to take care of her.
I got in the car, feeling crushed. I hated the weight on my shoulders, and I would do anything to get rid of it. My mind trailed to the whiskey I had in my freezer at home. I could go back and ease the pain I was feeling that way. I could at least numb myself enough to get through the day, I thought. I could make it all go away for the moment.
I shook my head. As tempting as getting drunk was, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I had to be available for my daughter, and if for any reason they were to call me, I was going to have to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I couldn’t risk not being able to drive.
I grabbed my phone. It was late in the afternoon, and I briefly considered stopping by the office. It would be the first time I’d been there in roughly a week, and I would be able to check up on how things were doing. But then, I would also have to see everyone, and I knew they were going to ambush me with their questions.
They would all wonder how I was doing, how Kellie was doing. Of course, they would mean well, but I didn’t want to discuss the details with them. Though I knew it wasn’t the healthiest way to handle the situation, I didn’t want to share details.
But, there was one person I did want to talk to. The only person I knew who would be there for me.
“Hello?” Stella’s voice sounded cheerful. It was a breath of fresh air.
“Wrap it up for the day. I’m going to dinner, and I want you to go with me,” I said.
“What? Right now? Is Kellie out of the hospital?” she asked. I grimaced. Of course she would think that. Why else wouldn’t I be there with my daughter?
“No, not yet. They’re going to do some more testing, but I’m not sure why. I asked, but you know how it goes here. I don’t think the doctor wants to give me any information until he knows for sure what’s going on,” I said with as optimistic of a tone as I could muster.
“Oh, well, there’s still a few things-” she started, but I cut her off.
“You can leave them for Jace or Molly to handle. I need to talk to you, and I don’t give a damn what’s going on at the office.” I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I didn’t want to discuss this over the phone. I wanted to pick her up, and I wanted to go to dinner. It wasn’t romantic. I needed someone to be with me. I needed her.
“Alright. I’ll meet you; where do you want to go?” she asked. I felt relieved. I didn’t want to be demanding, but I did want to convey how important this was.
“How about that café on the end of Durston?” I asked.
“Sounds fine.”
She hung up the phone, and I sat back in my seat, looking at the other people as they walked back and forth across the parking lot. An older gentleman was heading toward the door with a handful of balloons proudly announcing the gender of a baby. Another woman was walking out with a bleak look on her face. I shook my head. I knew everyone was dealing with something.
Some were there for good reasons, others because of tragedy. But, it didn’t matter to me what anyone else was there for. All I could think about was my little girl and the tests they were doing. I could only hope for the best at this point and keep my mind off anything else.
I met Stella at the diner, and I was relieved to see she wasn’t wearing one of her ridiculous pantsuits. In fact, I was rather surprised to see she was wearing a professional skirt and blazer set, this one in a nice navy. She wore a lighter blue button-down beneath the jacket, and I had to admit she looked far more professional than I had seen her ever before.
Not only that, but she looked damn hot.
“I’m glad you could make it; thanks for coming on such short notice,” I said as we met each other in front of the little restaurant.
“I’m not going to complain too much about getting to leave early on a Friday. Is everything okay?” she asked. There was a look of genuine concern in her eyes, and I sighed. I wanted to tell her that it was, but with Stella, I just didn’t feel like I could hide anything. With her, I had to tell the truth no matter what. I felt comfortable with her, and she knew it.
“Let’s talk about it inside,” I said. She looked grim as I held open the door, and she ducked under my arm to walk in. We sat in the corner of the café, away from the others. I didn’t want to make any kind of a scene, and I wasn’t entirely su
re I could tell her about the tests and my fears without breaking down. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough with her to tell her exactly how I was feeling.
I felt I could be open with her and that she would understand where I was coming from. I felt I could talk freely with her — and that was something I hadn’t ever felt with anyone before. Not even Kellie’s mother.
We chatted away, me explaining everything that was going on with Kellie, and her listening. It felt so good to get it off my chest. I began to feel like I wasn’t the only one in this battle. I didn’t need her to say anything, I just needed her to be there for me. To understand where I was coming from and what I was feeling, even though there wasn’t anything she could do to fix the situation.
When we’d finished eating, I paid and we walked back outside.
“Call me if you need anything,” she said, with concern in her eyes. I nodded, but just as she turned to go, something came over me and I grabbed her, pulling her close.
“Please, come home with me tonight,” I whispered. She was in my arms, and she looked up at me with surprise clearly written in her eyes. But, she didn’t pull away. In fact, I felt her lean into me. “I can’t be alone.”
I expected her to pull back and tell me she couldn’t, but to my surprise, she didn’t.
“I’ll get my purse,” she whispered.
Chapter 16
Though we had driven to the restaurant, we chose to walk back to his apartment. It wasn’t far from the diner, and we knew our cars would be fine in the parking lot until the next morning. As long as we got them early, there wouldn’t be a problem — and right now, there were more pressing things than driving.
We walked hand in hand back to his place, and each step of the way, I felt myself fill with lust. I had to have him. We weren’t talking, but we both knew what we were going to do when we got back to his apartment.
