Me.
“Molly-”
“Stay away from me, Ethan,” I warned. “My humiliation is the only thing keeping me from reporting you to the school, for telling my parents, and for keeping this from my brother.” My eyes narrowed. “Be lucky you’re still alive and leave me the fuck alone.”
Getting into my car, I took off without sparing him a second glance. My only saving grace about that night was that nothing had been recorded. There was no evidence of what I’d done, though there were witnesses. If Ethan ever decided to out me, Sawyer and Calvin were his confirmation. It’d be my word against theirs. And the worst part about it all?
I still craved the new world Ethan had dragged me into.
I still wouldn’t mind being called a dirty slut.
Chapter 8
Grayson~
It was good to be home, if only for a couple of days. Seeing Mom and Dad, and traveling with Rowan, was just what I needed to shake off the melancholy I’d been feeling lately.
Especially, seeing Rowan happy. That helped a lot.
I carried a lot of guilt over what happened to her, even though my mind was aware that none of it was my fault. But as her brother, her big brother at that, I’d always been taught to look out for her, and I felt like I had failed at that, no matter what my mind, logically, knew.
I also knew Dad felt the same because we’ve talked about it often. And being a criminal attorney, Dad was able to keep tabs on Paul Connors while he’d been in jail, and he was also up on what the sonofabitch has been up to since he’s been released from jail.
And even though it had come up during the trial that he had preyed on other girls at Rowan’s high school, since everyone had been eighteen, and all of them voluntary except Rowan, Paul Connors had managed to avoid prison time, and had been granted a jail term only.
Now, while Rowan’s done her best to move on, and has told us, repeatedly, that him going to jail and having his life ruined was good enough for her, I couldn’t say the same thing. And neither could my parents.
“Alright, I’m off,” I announced. “But I’ll be back before the pizzas get here.”
After settling in back in our old bedrooms, Mom and Dad had announced pizzas for dinner, allowing us to relax from our flight. However, after pizzas, me and Rowan were going to do one of our movie all-nighters, where we picked ‘surprise me’ and we were forced to watch whatever the streaming service picked for us. More often than not, it was torture, but it was our thing.
So, before the pizzas arrived, I was heading into town to grab some snacks and drinks for our movie marathon. But, honestly, after the travel, I’d be surprised if we both didn’t pass out on the couch before nine.
“Okay,” Mom called back from the kitchen as I was heading to the front door.
“Oh, wait,” Rowan rushed out, stopping me. I turned around and saw her peeking her head around the wall. “Come back without beef jerky and you’re a dead man.”
I cocked my head. “When have I ever come back without your goddamn beef jerky?”
She grinned. “Good point.”
Leaving the house, I made my way through the streets that I knew like the back of my hand. Passing all the familiar haunts and shops, I didn’t stop until I pulled into Middleton’s Mini-Market. Another familiar stop where we’d get the older kids to buy us beer from.
I was ready to turn off the ignition and get out when a face I’d know, even on my deathbed, came walking out of the store.
I could do nothing but stare at Paul Connors as he made his way over to an older model Nissan. He was alone, no one waiting on him, as I watched him get in his car and begin to back out.
Everything in me screamed to turn the other way and just go inside the store. My brain was telling me to ignore what I’d just seen and go into the store and get Rowan’s snacks. Nothing good would come out of doing anything other than going into that store.
Nothing.
But did I listen?
No.
Pulling back out of the parking spot, I followed Paul Connors as he exited onto the street. And I kept following him until he pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex I’ve never been to. Having successful parents, the way I did, I’d never had a reason to be on this side of town. But I was here now, and I wasn’t scared.
I stayed in my car, and watched as he walked up to, what I presumed, was his home’s front door, and when I saw him getting his keys out and unlocking the door, my presumption was proven correct.
I couldn’t say how long I stayed seated in my car, but it felt like forever at the same time it felt like mere seconds.
Staring at the motherfucker’s front door, I knew I still had time to turn back around and forget I ever saw him. But that was the problem, wasn’t it?
I could never forget him and what he’d done to my sister.
Guilt had me getting out of the car. Regret had me walking up to his front door. And anger had me ringing the doorbell.
When Ex-Officer Paul Connors answered the door, his eyes widened in recognition, but before he could say anything, I was cocking back my fist and smashing it into his face.
Tumbling into his apartment, it was on from there. Having been an officer, the man knew how to defend himself, plus I imagined jail could have made him tougher.
However, I had rage on my side.
I had years of rage, hurt, regret, guilt, and shattered emotions on my side. I had a sister who will be affected by this man’s actions forever. I was here fighting for her just as much as for myself and my parents.
I was here fighting for every girl’s family that this sonofabitch has ever touched.
The fight couldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes, but soon, I noticed he wasn’t fighting back. When that registered, I pulled away, and he slumped onto the floor, a bloody mess.
“You’re lucky I don’t kill you,” I told him, my chest heaving, my voice rough with future regret for not finishing the job.
He scoffed, blood shooting from his mouth. “Your sister already did that,” he spat. “My life is ruined.”
I had nothing to say to that. There wouldn’t be a point to it anyway. If he was blaming Rowan for ruining his life, then that was proof that he learned nothing in jail. He was still refusing to take responsibility for his actions.
Staring down at him, I said, “I’ll wait.”
Gingerly pushing himself up to his feet, he said, “For what?”
“The cops,” I said. “You’re going to call them, right?”
Paul Connors didn’t say anything for a really long time. He just stared back at me, regarding me silently. When he finally spoke, he said, “Don’t ever come back here, or else I will.”
A part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off. I didn’t want any favors from this asshole. I wanted him to call the cops. But then I thought about Rowan, and she didn’t need another headline in her life, and this would definitely be one. I gave him a terse nod before turning around and heading back to my car.
When I put my hands on the steering wheel, blood was everywhere, and I knew there was no way I could keep this from my parents or sister. No matter what Paul Connors just said, there was still a very real possibility that he might still call the cops.
Turning on the car, I headed home to face the music.
Chapter 9
Molly~
Lorcan was due this evening, and I found myself getting more excited at seeing him rather than the apprehension from earlier when he’d first announced he was coming to visit.
I had already told Gina and Lauren that Lorcan was coming to visit, and after forcing Lauren to accept that I wasn’t going to hook her up with my brother, they both agreed to give us our space. Lorcan was renting a hotel suite in town, and we’d probably be hanging out there all weekend to avoid distractions. Those distractions being all the college girls who would undoubtedly being throwing themselves at him all weekend.
Leaving campus, I felt good about all the assignments I had
gotten out of the way this week. With all of that out of the way, me and Lorcan could actually catch up. And if he really wanted to do more than veg at his hotel room, I knew I could always invite handful of people to stop by. No way would I take Lorcan to a party where there was a possibility that we could run into Ethan. When I had broken things off with Ethan, I had told Lorcan that it just hadn’t worked out. I didn’t need Ethan telling him any different.
Too wrapped up in Lorcan’s arrival, I hadn’t been paying attention to much else. My assignments had been completed, and I was on my way to see my brother.
However, I should have been paying attention.
I should always be paying attention.
Rounding the corner of the student administration building, I was brought up short by two figures talking near the student offices.
Sawyer and Calvin.
Self-preservation was telling me to turn around and walk the other way, but pride and determination were telling me to keep on walking. I kept reminding myself that I couldn’t show any weakness. I couldn’t let them intimidate me. If I did, they’d own me.
So, I kept walking as if these two guys haven’t seen me at my worst.
Or best, depending on who you asked.
I only got two steps past them when Calvin stepped in my way. “What’s the hurry, Molly?”
“Nothing that’s any of your business, Calvin,” I replied. “Now get out of my way.”
Then Sawyer’s voice coated me from behind. “Well, isn’t this nice and cozy, yeah?”
“Not interested,” I bit out.
Calvin’s condescending tone grated. Badly. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s quite true, sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” Sawyer agreed. “Those words of yours don’t quite ring true.”
I turned, so that I wasn’t standing between them, but next to them, though they were still blocking my path. “I don’t really care what you guys believe,” I said. “It’s the truth whether you believe it or not.”
Sawyer cocked his head, his eyes bright. “We were there, remember?”
“Yeah,” Calvin added. “It’s kind of hard to believe that when we know better.”
I tightened my hold on my bag. I hated to even talk about it, but I had to make these two see that I truly wasn’t interested in what they had to offer. No matter how deep my perversions might go, that didn’t mean I was interested in indulging in them after what Ethan had done to me. And even if I was, that didn’t mean I was interested in pursuing the experience with these two again. Whatever we may or may not have done together, these two didn’t know me.
“I think you two are confused,” I said. “You think this is about what we did? Because it’s not. It's about what you did.”
Calvin looked a bit confused, but Sawyer caught on quickly. “You were worth every penny, Molly,” he said slyly. “Every. Fucking. Penny.”
“I’m not a whore,” I lied. “You can think I’m a slut all you want for how I enjoyed that night, but I never would have gone through with it had I known that you paid Ethan for it.”
“So, you’re blaming us for something your shit boyfriend did?” Calvin asked, and he sounded so genuinely offended, that I barked out an unbelievable laugh.
“Christ, you guys are unbelievable.”
“Money aside, you can’t tell us you didn’t enjoy every bit of what we did to you that night, Molly,” Sawyer said, and I hated how right he was.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter,” I told him. “It’ll never happened again.”
“Which part?” Calvin asked.
I looked at him. “All of it.”
He smirked. “We’ll see.”
And that’s when my back straightened in warning.
“Meaning?”
Sawyer shrugged. “Nothing,” he lied. “But…I mean, we do know how rough you like it. Maybe this whole hard-to-get thing is just more roleplaying.”
No weakness.
Glancing back and forth between them both, I spoke as clearly as I could. “I’m going to say this, and I’m only going to say it once more,” I hissed. “I am not interested in anything more with either one of you two. This is not an act. This is not roleplaying. Nor is this playing hard-to-get.” Neither said a word, so I made myself just a tiny bit clearer. “If either of you touches me ever again, I will report you, even at the expense of airing what we’ve already done.”
“We’re not rapists,” Calvin snapped.
“Then quit insinuating that you are,” I snapped back.
Sawyer’s eyes ran down my body and back up before saying, “Come on, Hackett. She’s not worth the trouble, no matter how hot of a fuck she is.”
“No shit,” Calvin agreed. “Besides, there are plenty of other bitches who liked to be double and tripled teamed.”
“Yeah, you’re not the first and only, sweetheart,” Sawyer sneered.
“Good. Great. Glad to hear it,” I fired back. “Now let me the fuck through.”
When they parted to let me through, I thought that was going to be the end of it, but I was wrong. A few feet away, Sawyer called out to me. “Hey, Molly?”
Against my better judgement, I turned around to hear what he had to say. “What?”
“I still like knowing I was your first.” The bastard winked at me, and I couldn’t turn around fast enough.
Tears of humiliation rained down my face as I made my way to my car. Even with their graduation on the horizon, I couldn’t escape the shameful desire that had been stirred up after that one experience, and I didn’t want to feel it anymore. I didn’t want to run into any of them and be reminded that I was sick in the head.
Because I had to be, right?
Chapter 10
Grayson~
Movie night had been ruined.
After coming home and telling my parents and Rowan what had happened, my parents had been understandably pissed off, but Rowan had been upset enough to cancel movie night. She had gone up to her room without eating, and when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I had gone up there after her.
We talked as she cried in my arms, and it hadn’t surprised me that her main concern had been me risking everything for something that wasn’t going to change what happened to her. My little slice of revenge hadn’t changed anything. Rowan was still going to have to live with what happened to her, and I still felt guilty for being all the way in Boston when it had happened.
As much as we wanted to, I couldn’t erase what happened to her any more than she could take away my guilt and regret.
After Rowan had finally fallen asleep, I had gone to deal with my parents. The house being as big as it was, they’d been able to alternate between hissing and yelling at me. Even when I had told them that Paul Connors said he wasn’t going to call the cops they had still done the whole ‘what if’ routine. To which my father had added that if any of us were going to end up in jail, it’d would have been him, years ago when this had all happened. According to him, he and my mother had already lived their lives. It was up to them to take the bullet for their children if a bullet needed to be taken.
In fact, things hadn’t simmered down until I had agreed to go to some counseling to deal with what happened to Rowan. Rowan was still going, and they thought I might benefit from going as well.
At first, it had been an automatic denial, but the more they pressed, the more I realized it couldn’t hurt. Even without what happened with Rowan I had other issues that could be addressed.
Like how I had these odd desires that had surfaced, and I couldn’t stuff them back in the box, no matter how hard I tried.
Freshman year, when Tamara Miller had taken me home from a party, had changed me forever. Content with what I had believed to be good sex, I hadn’t been expecting any of what Tamara had shown me that night.
Everything had started out routinely enough. We had gone back to her place, and once we’d gone into her bedroom, the kissing had been nice and filled with enough passion to make me eager for what
was next.
It hadn’t been until she had slid her hand down my pants and told me to fuck her face that I had been taken aback. As far as I knew, girls didn’t like that. Sure, I knew it happened, but my young sex life had never consisted of that kind of aggressiveness. And I had been honest with her about that. I hadn’t wanted to leave her unsatisfied, so I had told her she needed to tell me what she wanted because I wasn’t used to what she had been asking for.
From there, it had spiraled into something I never could have imagined.
Tamara had become my own personal porn star, and it had awakened something in me that I’d never known was there. I had never given much thought to people’s sexual proclivities and how they had come to be, but mine were born the night Tamara Miller had told me to cum on her face while calling her a dirty whore.
Tentative at first, it hadn’t felt natural, but when she had assured me it was what she liked, the words had started flowing as if I’d been saying them to women all my life. And never mind the words, but I couldn’t get enough of the things she had asked me to do to her that night.
In one night, I’d done some of the filthiest things I’ve ever done to a woman, and Tamara couldn’t seem to get enough either.
While not into anything violent, she was into some seriously rough sex and degradation. I had called her a slut and whore. I had called her my fucktoy. I had smeared my cum all over her face. She had even given up the ass, giving me my first anal experience ever.
And when it had all been over, we had showered, and talked the rest of the night like two normal people getting to know each other. She hadn’t been embarrassed or had apologized or had been regretful. We had talked and it had amazed me how she could separate what we’d done in the bedroom with who we were outside of it.
We had ended up seeing each other for a while before she’d had to transfer because of a family tragedy. Ever girl after that had been…adequate. I’d been smart enough to realize that not all girls liked that kind of sex play, and I treaded the waters carefully whenever I had slept with someone new. And rough sex was about as far as I’ve gotten since Tamara.
Our Shattered Pieces (The Pieces Series Book 3) Page 4
