Collected Short Stories Volume 2

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Collected Short Stories Volume 2 Page 27

by W. Somerset Maugham


  'When would you be able to come in if I engaged you? I haven't got anybody at the moment. The cook's managing as best she can with a char, but I should like to get settled as soon as possible.'

  'Well, sir, I was going to give myself a week's holiday, but if it's a matter of obliging a gentleman I don't mind giving that up. I could come in tomorrow if it was convenient.'

  Richard Harenger gave her his attractive smile.

  'I shouldn't like you to do without a holiday that I dare say you've been looking forward to. I can very well go on like this for another week. Go and have your holiday and come to me when it's over.'

  'Thank you very much, sir. Would it do if I came in tomorrow week?'

  'Quite well.'

  When she left, Richard Harenger felt he had done a good day's work. It looked as though he had found exactly what he was after. He rang for the cook and told her he had engaged a house-parlourmaid at last.

  'I think you'll like her, sir,' she said. 'She came in and 'ad a talk with me this afternoon. I could see at once she knew her duties. And she's not one of them flighty ones.'

  'We can but try, Mrs Jeddy. I hope you gave me a good character.'

  'Well, I said you was particular, sir. I said you was a gentleman as liked things just so.'

  'I admit that.'

  'She said she didn't mind that. She said she liked a gentleman as knew what was what. She said there's no satisfaction in doing things proper if nobody notices. I expect you'll find she'll take a rare lot of pride in her work.'

  'That's what I want her to do. I think we might go farther and fare worse.'

  'Well, sir, there is that to it, of course. And the proof of the pudding's the eating. But if you ask my opinion I think she's going to be a real treasure.'

  And that is precisely what Pritchard turned out. No man was ever better served. The way she shone shoes was marvellous, and he set out of a fine morning for his walk to the office with a more jaunty step because you could almost see yourself reflected in them. She looked after his clothes with such attention that his colleagues began to chaff him about being the best-dressed man in the Civil Service. One day, coming home unexpectedly, he found a line of socks and handkerchiefs hung up to dry in the bathroom. He called Pritchard.

  'D'you wash my socks and handkerchiefs yourself, Pritchard? I should have thought you had enough to do without that.'

  'They do ruin them so at the laundry, sir. I prefer to do them at home if you have no objection.'

  She knew exactly what he should wear on every occasion, and without asking him was aware whether she should put out a dinner jacket and a black tie in the evening or a dress coat and a white one. When he was going to a party where decorations were to be worn he found his neat little row of medals automatically affixed to the lapel of his coat. He soon ceased to choose every morning from his wardrobe the tie he wanted, for he found that she put out for him without fail the one he would have himself selected. Her taste was perfect. He supposed she read his letters, for she always knew what his movements were, and if he had forgotten at what hour he had an engagement he had no need to look in his book, for Pritchard could tell him. She knew exactly what tone to use with persons with whom she conversed on the telephone. Except with tradesmen, with whom she was apt to be peremptory, she was always polite, but there was a distinct difference in her manner if she was addressing one of Mr Harenger's literary friends or the wife of a Cabinet Minister. She knew by instinct with whom he wished to speak and with whom he didn't. From his sitting-room he sometimes heard her with placid sincerity assuring a caller that he was out, and then she would come in and tell him that So-and-So had rung up, but she thought he wouldn't wish to be disturbed.

  'Quite right, Pritchard,' he smiled.

  'I knew she only wanted to bother you about that concert,' said Pritchard.

  His friends made appointments with him through her, and she would tell him what she had done on his return in the evening.

  'Mrs Soames rang up, sir, and asked if you would lunch with her on Thursday, the eighth, but I said you were very sorry but you were lunching with Lady Versinder. Mr Oakley rang up and asked if you'd go to a cocktail party at the Savoy next Tuesday at six. I said you would if you possibly could, but you might have to go to the dentist's.'

  'Quite right.'

  'I thought you could see when the time came, sir.'

  She kept the flat like a new pin. On one occasion soon after she entered his service, Richard coming back from a holiday took out a book from his shelves and at once noticed that it had been dusted. He rang the bell.

  'I forgot to tell you when I went away under no circumstances ever to touch my books. When books are taken out to be dusted they're never put back in the right place. I don't mind my books being dirty, but I hate not being able to find them.'

  'I'm very sorry, sir,' said Pritchard. 'I know some gentlemen are very particular and I took care to put back every book exactly where I took it from.'

  Richard Harenger gave his books a glance. So far as he could see every one was in its accustomed place. He smiled.

  'I apologize, Pritchard.'

  'They were in a muck, sir. I mean, you couldn't open one without getting your hands black with dust.'

  She certainly kept his silver as he had never had it kept before. He felt called upon to give her a special word of praise.

  'Most of it's Queen Anne and George I, you know,' he explained.

  'Yes, I know, sir. When you've got something good like that to look after it's a pleasure to keep it like it should be.'

  'You certainly have a knack for it. I never knew a butler who kept his silver as well as you do.'

  'Men haven't the patience women have,' she replied modestly. As soon as he thought Pritchard had settled down in the place he resumed the little dinners he was fond of giving once a week. He had already discovered that she knew how to wait at table but it was with a warm sense of complacency that he realized then how competently she could manage a party. She was quick, silent, and watchful. A guest had hardly felt the need of something before Pritchard was at his elbow offering him what he wanted. She soon learned the tastes of his more intimate friends and remembered that one liked water instead of soda with his whisky and that another particularly fancied the knuckle end of a leg of lamb. She knew exactly how cold a hock should be not to ruin its taste and how long claret should have stood in the room to bring out its bouquet. It was a pleasure to see her pour out a bottle of burgundy in such a fashion as not to disturb the grounds. On one occasion she did not serve the wine Richard had ordered. He somewhat sharply pointed this out to her.

  'I opened the bottle, sir, and it was slightly corked. So I got the Chambertin, as I thought it was safer.'

  'Quite right, Pritchard.'

  Presently he left this matter entirely in her hands, for he discovered that she knew perfectly what wines his guests would like. Without orders from him she would provide the best in his cellar and his oldest brandy if she thought they were the sort of people who knew what they were drinking. She had no belief in the palate of women, and when they were of the party was apt to serve the champagne which had to be drunk before it went off. She had the English servant's instinctive knowledge of social differences, and neither rank nor money blinded her to the fact that someone was not a gentleman, but she had favourites among his friends, and when someone she particularly liked was dining, with the air of a cat that has swallowed a canary she would pour out for him a bottle of a wine that Harenger kept for very special occasions. It amused him.

  'You've got on the right side of Pritchard, old boy,' he exclaimed. 'There aren't many people she gives this wine to.'

  Pritchard became an institution. She was known very soon to be the perfect parlourmaid. People envied Harenger the possession of her as they envied nothing else that he had. She was worth her weight in gold. Her price was above rubies. Richard Harenger beamed with self-complacency when they praised her.

  'Good masters make go
od servants,' he said gaily.

  One evening, when they were sitting over their port and she had left the room, they were talking about her.

  'It'll be an awful blow when she leaves you.'

  'Why should she leave me? One or two people have tried to get her away from me, but she turned them down. She knows where she's well off.'

  'She'll get married one of these days.'

  'I don't think she's that sort.'

  'She's a good-looking woman.'

  'Yes, she has quite a decent presence.'

  'What are you talking about? She's a very handsome creature. In another class of life she'd be a well-known society beauty with her photograph in all the papers.'

  At that moment Pritchard came in with the coffee. Richard Harenger looked at her. After seeing her every day, off and on, for four years it was now – my word, how time flies – he had really forgotten what she looked like. She did not seem to have changed much since he had first seen her. She was no stouter than then, she still had the high colour, and her regular features bore the same expression which was at once intent and vacuous. The black uniform suited her. She left the room.

  'She's a paragon and there's no doubt about it.'

  'I know she is,' answered Harenger. 'She's perfection. I should be lost without her. And the strange thing is that I don't very much like her.'

  'Why not?'

  'I think she bores me a little. You see, she has no conversation. I've often tried to talk to her. She answers when I speak to her, but that's all. In four years she's never volunteered a remark of her own. I know absolutely nothing about her. I don't know if she likes me or if she's completely indifferent to me. She's an automaton. I respect her, I appreciate her, I trust her. She has every quality in the world and I've often wondered why it is that with all that I'm so completely indifferent to her. I think it must be that she is entirely devoid of charm.'

  They left it at that.

  Two or three days after this, since it was Pritchard's night out and he had no engagement, Richard Harenger dined by himself at his club. A page-boy came to him and told him that they had just rung up from his flat to say that he had gone out without his keys and should they be brought along to him in a taxi? He put his hand to his pocket. It was a fact. By a singular chance he had forgotten to replace them when he had changed into a blue serge suit before coming out to dinner. His intention had been to play bridge, but it was an off-night at the club and there seemed little chance of a decent game; it occurred to him that it would be a good opportunity to see a picture that he had heard talked about, so he sent back the message by the page that he would call for the keys himself in half an hour.

  He rang at the door of his flat and it was opened by Pritchard. She had the keys in her hand.

  'What are you doing here, Pritchard?' he asked. 'It's your night out, isn't it?'

  'Yes, sir. But I didn't care about going, so I told Mrs Jeddy she could go instead.'

  'You ought to get out when you have the chance,' he said, with his usual thoughtfulness. 'It's not good for you to be cooped up here all the time.'

  'I get out now and then on an errand, but I haven't been out in the evening for the last month.'

  'Why on earth not?'

  'Well, it's not very cheerful going out by yourself, and somehow I don't know anyone just now that I'm particularly keen on going out with.'

  'You ought to have a bit of fun now and then. It's good for you.'

  'I've got out of the habit of it somehow.'

  'Look here, I'm just going to the cinema. Would you like to come along with me?'

  He spoke in kindliness, on the spur of the moment, and the moment he had said the words half regretted them.

  'Yes, sir, I'd like to,' said Pritchard.

  'Run along then and put on a hat.'

  'I shan't be a minute.'

  She disappeared and he went into the sitting-room and lit a cigarette. He was a little amused at what he was doing, and pleased too; it was nice to be able to make someone happy with so little trouble to himself. It was characteristic of Pritchard that she had shown neither surprise nor hesitation. She kept him waiting about five minutes, and when she came back he noticed that she had changed her dress. She wore a blue frock in what he supposed was artificial silk, a small black hat with a blue brooch on it, and a silver fox round her neck. He was a trifle relieved to see that she looked neither shabby nor showy. It would never occur to anyone who happened to see them that this was a distinguished official in the Home Office taking his housemaid to the pictures.

  'I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, sir.'

  'It doesn't matter at all,' he said graciously.

  He opened the front door for her and she went out before him. He remembered the familiar anecdote of Louis XIV and the courtier and appreciated the fact that she had not hesitated to precede him. The cinema for which they were bound was at no great distance from Mr Harenger's flat and they walked there. He talked about the weather and the state of the roads and Adolf Hitler. Pritchard made suitable replies. They arrived just as Mickey the Mouse was starting and this put them in a good humour. During the four years she had been in his service Richard Harenger had hardly ever seen Pritchard even smile, and now it diverted him vastly to hear her peal upon peal of joyous laughter. He enjoyed her pleasure. Then the principal attraction was thrown on the screen. It was a good picture and they both watched it with breathless excitement. Taking his cigarette-case out to help himself he automatically offered it to Pritchard.

  'Thank you, sir,' she said, taking one.

  He lit it for her. Her eyes were on the screen and she was almost unconscious of his action. When the picture was finished they streamed out with the crowd into the street. They walked back towards the flat. It was a fine starry night.

  'Did you like it?' he said.

  'Like anything, sir. It was a real treat.'

  A thought occurred to him.

  'By the way, did you have any supper tonight?'

  'No, sir, I didn't have time.'

  'Aren't you starving?'

  'I'll have a bit of bread and cheese when I get in and I'll make meself a cup of cocoa.'

  'That sounds rather grim.' There was a feeling of gaiety in the air, and the people who poured past them, one way and another, seemed filled with a pleasant elation. In for a penny, in for a pound, he said to himself. 'Look here, would you like to come and have a bit of supper with me somewhere?'

  'If you'd like to, sir.'

  'Come on.'

  He hailed a cab. He was feeling very philanthropic and it was not a feeling that he disliked at all. He told the driver to go to a restaurant in Oxford Street which was gay, but at which he was confident there was no chance of meeting anyone he knew. There was an orchestra and people danced. It would amuse Pritchard to see them. When they sat down a waiter came up to them.

  'They've got a set supper here,' he said, thinking that was what she would like. 'I suggest we have that. What would you like to drink? A little white wine?'

  'What I really fancy is a glass of ginger beer,' she said.

  Richard Harenger ordered himself a whisky and soda. She ate the supper with hearty appetite, and though Harenger was not hungry, to put her at her ease he ate too. The picture they had just seen gave them something to talk about. It was quite true what they had said the other night, Pritchard was not a bad-looking woman, and even if someone had seen them together he would not have minded. It would make rather a good story for his friends when he told them how he had taken the incomparable Pritchard to the cinema and then afterwards to supper. Pritchard was looking at the dancers with a faint smile on her lips.

  'Do you like dancing?' he said.

  'I used to be a rare one for it when I was a girl. I never danced much after I was married. My husband was a bit shorter than me and somehow I never think it looks well unless the gentleman's taller, if you know what I mean. I suppose I shall be getting too old for it soon.'

  Richard was certai
nly taller than his parlourmaid. They would look all right. He was fond of dancing and he danced well. But he hesitated. He did not want to embarrass Pritchard by asking her to dance with him. It was better not to go too far perhaps. And yet what did it matter? It was a drab life she led. She was so sensible, if she thought it a mistake he was pretty sure she would find a decent excuse.

  'Would you like to take a turn, Pritchard?' he said, as the band struck up again.

  'I'm terribly out of practice, sir.'

  'What does that matter?'

  'If you don't mind, sir,' she answered coolly, rising from her seat.

  She was not in the least shy. She was only afraid that she would not be able to follow his step. They moved on to the floor. He found she danced very well.

  'Why, you dance perfectly, Pritchard,' he said.

  'It's coming back to me.'

  Although she was a big woman she was light on her feet and she had a natural sense of rhythm. She was very pleasant to dance with. He gave a glance at the mirrors that lined the walls and he could not help reflecting that they looked very well together. Their eyes met in the mirror; he wondered whether she was thinking that too. They had two more dances and then Richard Harenger suggested that they should go. He paid the bill and they walked out. He noticed that she threaded her way through the crowd without a trace of self-consciousness. They got into a taxi and in ten minutes were at home.

  'I'll go up the back way, sir,' said Pritchard.

  'There's no need to do that. Come up in the lift with me.'

  He took her up, giving the night-porter an icy glance, so that he should not think it strange that he came back at that somewhat late hour with his parlourmaid, and with his latch-key let her into the flat.

  'Well, good night, sir,' she said. 'Thank you very much. It's been a real treat for me.'

  'Thank you, Pritchard. I should have had a very dull evening by myself. I hope you've enjoyed your outing.'

  'That I have, sir, more than I can say.'

  It had been a success. Richard Harenger was satisfied with himself. It was a kindly thing for him to have done. It was a very agreeable sensation to give anyone so much real pleasure. His benevolence warmed him and for a moment he felt a great love in his heart for the whole human race.

 

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