by Katie Dowe
*****
Max was ready to wait a while when he called Nicole at eight. In his experience, women never meant eight when they agreed to eight. They meant that they thought they’d be ready by eight, but they’d need ‘two more minutes’ that often meant twenty.
So he was pleasantly surprised when Nicole answered, and, sounding crisp and efficient, told him that she was, indeed, ready and waiting for him.
By the time he picked her up, he was beginning to feel like he’d been late. He probably had.
He was driving a fairly unassuming car, which made Nicole feel relieved.
“Disappointed?” asked Max, amused.
Nicole grinned.
“Surprisingly, not. A bit relieved, if anything. I can’t relax properly if I’m surrounded by fancy things.”
“Why is that?” asked Max, and Nicole looked at him in surprise. Fred had never asked her that.
Nicole shrugged.
“Well, when you have too much, and you’re surrounded by too many things, you tend to lose touch of reality and lose the ability to empathize with those who don’t.”
Max looked at her thoughtfully, making Nicole motion him to watch the road.
“So… A bit like Swift, then.”
Nicole laughed.
“I suppose. ‘Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want.’”
Max was surprised that Nicole had immediately figured out what he was referring to. He wasn’t used to going out with women who picked up on references to Jonathan Swift.
But it wasn’t a date, he reminded himself. Nicole had a boyfriend, and one who must be serious, if she brought him up during their very first conversation.
Still, it did mean that he could look forward to the evening more fully.
“Is it surprising for somebody like me to understand that, too?” asked Max, thoughtfully, as he drove.
Nicole laughed.
“Well, I don’t know if you understand it, but self-awareness is rare enough among the privileged.”
Max grinned, not taking offense.
“Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that my family expected me to earn my keep almost all my life. I mean, they did make it all fun, but it was still work at the end of the day.”
“Really?”
Nicole was intrigued.
“Oh, of course. I learned how to build the perfect pint of Guinness when I was thirteen. Though I don’t suppose that was strictly legal, and I was paid under the table.”
Nicole laughed.
“I suppose you shouldn’t tell me that. I’m supposed to report any knowledge of any kind of unethical dealings with you, you know. I’m contractually obliged to do that.”
Max grinned again.
“Maybe we can do a different contract then. Ah, here we are.”
The illusion that she was with somebody from her familiar world was immediately swept away, when an assistant – or so she assumed – materialized beside them as soon as Max drove up, and opened the door for him. They got out of the car, and it was whisked away immediately. When Max walked in, he waved cheerfully to the man who was obviously in charge, and they were immediately taken to the corner table that Max apparently preferred.
“It’s a different experience with you,” Nicole told him.
Max shrugged.
“I don’t like waiting for a table. I don’t like waiting at all, and my employees know it. But they also know that I’m fair, so they do it out of respect, not fear for their jobs. Or so I hope.”
Nicole smiled.
“Ah, Marcie. How’s Julian?”
Nicole was surprised that Max knew the waitress, and whoever Julian was.
“Fine, and he’s back in school. He’d hoped for a few more days without homework. I’m so grateful, Max.”
Max waved her gratitude away.
“Marcie, I told you, he’s a dependent and covered in your employee’s policy. Make sure that everybody else knows that, will you? It’s in all contracts, but most people don’t read their contracts before signing anymore. I blame all the terms and conditions online for that. We just tick the box.”
Marcie nodded, but the gratitude in her eyes didn’t diminish.
“I read it, Mr. Daniels. I know that it doesn’t cover private hospital, or physiotherapy beyond what’s absolutely necessary. I know that’s all you.”
Max shifted, obviously uncomfortable, and endearing himself even more to Nicole.
“Well, you know. I know he’s a good doctor, so it seemed like the thing to do. Ah, could you get us…”
“I’ll have a Guinness, if you don’t mind, Max. Much as I do like the house beer.”
Max laughed.
“As will I. Thank you, Marcie.”
When he turned back to her, he looked uncomfortable by how much of himself he had unwittingly revealed.
Nicole grinned at him.
“So you’re a softie, not just a big, bad billionaire?”
Max shifted in his comfortable chair.
“Well, you know. It needed to be done. Marcie is making too much of it. Anybody would’ve done it.”
Nicole shook her head.
“You know that’s not true. It’s what anybody who can afford it should do, but not everybody does it. You did the decent thing, and that shouldn’t mean you’re an extra good man. It should just mean that everybody who doesn’t do it isn’t good enough. But you’re in the minority, so with the way the world works… It makes you one of the rare good employers.”
Max looked at her thoughtfully.
“You know, you put it in exactly the only way that wouldn’t embarrass me. You are good at getting your message across, aren’t you?”
Nicole smiled.
“Well, that’s what branding is. It’s what I’m good at.”
Max noticed the wistful note in her voice.
“Then why do you sound so sad about it? You should be happy that you’re good at your job, and enjoy your job, surely?”
Nicole told herself that she should keep her mouth shut. But she felt her tongue loosen up, and she hadn’t even had any beer yet. It was like she couldn’t stop herself.
“I would enjoy my job a lot more if Anderson would let me do it. He’s very set in his ways. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the firm is excellent at what we do, and I’m lucky to be a part of it. But I never get to take the lead on anything. At first, I thought it was because I needed to prove myself. But no amount of proving myself seems to help. Besides, you have to get a chance to be able to show what you can do, right? Anderson wants everything to be his way.”
Max wasn’t sure what to say.
“Maybe that means that you can learn from him?”
Nicole bit her tongue. She had said too much already. She could hardly tell him what she really thought of Derek Anderson, the Dinosaur of advertising and branding. He was a client, after all. She couldn’t forget that.
“I guess. I mean, I do. But at some point, you’d hope you can apply some of what you learn. I know I will make mistakes, but everybody does.”
Nicole was grateful when Marcie came back with their pints. At least it meant that she would have to shut up.
The rest of the evening went by more innocuously. They talked about everything, and anything, except work. Nicole noticed, halfway through the evening when they were eating something – she wasn’t sure what, except that it was hearty and delicious, and she definitely needed to hit the gym the next day – that they hadn’t talked about the questionnaire. At all.
Even worse, she didn’t want to.
Her little dilemma was solved when the band started playing, and conversation about anything to do with work became clearly impossible.
Now she could enjoy the evening with a clear conscience.
But as the evening went on, and the band moved from folk music to rock classics to everything in between, and Nicole sang along as she always did, she felt things change. It wasn’t tangible. But
she felt it in how Max moved closer to her, how he looked at her, how his fingers brushed over hers.
It was all innocent, except that it wasn’t. It was all perfectly proper, except that it was more.
She could deny all of it. But she couldn’t deny how she felt the urge to move closer to him. She couldn’t deny that she wished he would slide an arm around her waist, that he would lean closer to her and whisper something sweet, or maybe even something perfectly mundane, in her ear.
But he didn’t. Max was the perfect gentleman, even when the evening ended, and he led her outside.
“So, what did you think?”
Nicole smiled.
“I knew it was great already, remember? Preaching to the converted, here. But I had a wonderful time.”
A limo drove up. Nicole made as if to move out of the way, and was surprised when Max opened the door for her.
“Can’t drive. I had three pints. As did you,” teased Max.
Nicole had, indeed, had three pints, and so she took no offense.
“And three excellent pints they were, too. Your pub is so wonderful. I always leave feeling so perfectly energized, instead of tired. Though we didn’t get any work done,” said Nicole.
After three pints, there was no room for guilt, either.
“True enough, we didn’t. Whatever shall we do?”
Max really was in a teasing mood.
“Could we perhaps meet tomorrow? This time, we have got to get some work done. We absolutely have to.”
Max grinned lazily as he sat back.
“I have a lunch meeting, but dinner works for me. How about you?”
Dinner had worked very well for her, but she needed to put the brakes on this… whatever it was, decided Nicole, firmly.
“How about four?”
“A bit early for dinner,” quipped Max.
“Not dinner. Meeting. Work. So during work hours. Four is good for me.”
Max shrugged.
“All right, I can work with high tea. I can even stick my pinky out, if I have to.”
Nicole knew she should push to have the meeting at work – his or hers.
The idea of having it at hers made her shudder. Derek Anderson would say something horrible about her, or dismiss her completely. As for Jeff, well, he would drool all over Max.
Not that she could blame him. Max really was absolutely delicious. She could eat him up in a few greedy bites.
The thought disoriented her, made her mind go blank.
“Yes,” said Nicole, unsure of what she was saying, really. She felt like she was drowning in the depths of his blue eyes.
“Nicole…”
His voice was low and intimate.
“Yes…”
“We’ve reached.”
Nicole blinked.
“What?”
Max looked amused now.
“I wouldn’t have thought three pints could do this,” he told her, and Nicole knew it wasn’t the beer. It was him.
This was dangerous, some part of her mind told her.
“Oh, sorry, zoned out a bit. Right, home. We’re home. I mean, I’m home. Right, so, good night,” said Nicole, and struggled with the handle, which refused to cooperate.
The door opened from outside and nearly made her tumble out. The firm grip of Max’s hands on her shoulders kept her from that.
Nicole felt as if she was on fire where he touched her. She really shouldn’t have worn that dress, she thought.
“Careful, now,” said Max, and his voice… It sounded as if it had thickened a bit, become a bit huskier.
“I’m fine,” said Nicole, though she had to swallow before she could get the words out.
As if she was making a great escape, she got out, and without looking back, she ran up the stairs and went inside.
She told herself that she was not going to watch out of the window as he drove away.
But she couldn’t stop herself. She found her feet moving towards the bedroom window as if they’d acquired minds of their own, and she looked down. As she watched, the window of the limo lowered, and she saw Max looking at her. She felt his eyes on her.
She felt as if a spark had passed between the two of them. Her legs felt weak, wobbly like jelly. After a long instant that seemed to go on forever, the limo drove away.
Nicole slowly sank onto her beloved window seat.
She wasn’t completely sure what had just happened. They had done nothing inappropriate. But it had been…
Well, she wasn’t sure what it had been. But she had a feeling she would find out.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to.
*****
“Fred, I’m so sorry, but I’m working late again,” said Nicole.
She would’ve felt guilty if she hadn’t been so busy.
The last month had been hectic. To be completely honest, they had been more hectic than they needed to be, mostly because she had been spending so much time with Max.
She did need to spend time with Max. That wasn’t in question. But she didn’t need to spend as much time with him as she had.
But somehow, every time they were together, completely determined to talk about work, things got sidetrack. They found out that they both loved the Rolling Stones, and they bickered about the best concerts. Or they found out that they both thought that the Lord of the Rings movies were almost as good as the books, but not quite.
The time they had discovered that they both loved the Romantics – each had considered it a guilty pleasure – had been another such sidetracked meeting.
Then, of course, there was Yeats. Nicole had been prepared to defer to him on Yeats, because of his heritage. But that hadn’t worked out too well. Max was undecided on Yeats, too.
The most interesting conversation had been when she had asked him why he was Max. She couldn’t think of any Irishmen named Max.
Very sheepishly, he had told her that he wasn’t named after an Irishman. His father had prevailed and named him after the saint on whose birthday he had been born.
It wasn’t even as if his father was particularly religious, Max had explained. His grandparents were Catholics, and a lot more religious than his father had ever been. But his dad liked dates, and March sixth was a date he remembered, so he had been Max.
His mom had, luckily, been on board.
Or, as she had told him far too often, twenty-one hours of labor had left her past caring what he was named. She had just been glad he had finally found his way out, because, she told him, it had been about time.
Max had always been embarrassed by that story, or so he told Nicole, but he told her the whole story anyway. Nicole had found it incredibly endearing.
“Nicole, I’ve barely seen you in the last couple of weeks. What the hell is going on?”
It jolted her, to hear that note in Fred’s voice. She didn’t think she had ever heard him sound quite so frustrated.
“It’s just that I have a couple of really big projects, Fred. I don’t ask you to make time for me when you have a big reservation, or when you’re making something new, do I?”
There was complete silence. Nicole could’ve kicked herself. She wanted to. She knew how she’d made it sound.
“I didn’t think I was such an unbearable chore,” said Fred, and the coldness in his voice made her hiss between her teeth.
“Come on, Fred, that’s not what I meant. I’m just frustrated. I miss you too, you know. Did you consider that? I’ve been at work for what seems like decades, and I still have so much left to do. The last thing I need is for you to tell me what a horrible girlfriend I am. It would be really nice if you could give me some support instead.”
Nicole could’ve kicked herself after she made that little speech. She had made it all sound as if she was accusing him of being a bad boyfriend. Sure, a good offense might be the most effective defense, but she shouldn’t have to play defense at all. She shouldn’t have to play games of any sort.
Sighing, she rubbed her hand agains
t her forehead.
“Fred, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean all of that. I’m just under a lot of stress. I just can’t make it tonight, all right? I really can’t come over. It’ll be at least midnight by the time I’m done, and I really need to get some sleep. I have a ton of work left for tomorrow, too.”
But Fred was sulking. Nicole could feel it. She just knew.
“You’ve been saying that a lot. How much work could you possibly have?”
That was the moment Nicole lost it.
“If you listened to me when I’m talking, at least once in a blue moon, you’d know that I’m in the middle of an extremely big campaign and I cannot afford any distractions. Fred, please. Come on, don’t do this.”
She ended on a pleading note, even if she hated it. She hated to ask for anything. She hated begging even more.
Fred sounded long-suffering as he sighed.
“Tomorrow, then. For sure.”
Nicole rolled her eyes, confident because she knew he couldn’t see it.
“Tomorrow evening, definitely. But the launch is in a week, so after that, you’re going to see very little of me until that’s done. It’s not how I want it, Fred. I can’t change how things are. Besides, you knew what you were getting into.”
Her voice warmed as she said those words. It was true, but she knew it would also remind him of the times they had spent together. It looked like he needed the reminder.
It worked. Fred chuckled.
“Oh yes, I knew, and I’d do it all over again. I’m sorry, Nicole. I just miss you, a lot. It feels as if I’ve barely seen you at all. You know that.”
Nicole softened.
“I know. I miss you, too. We’ll make up for all of this. I promise.”
As she hung up, she felt a heavy weight in her heart, that seemed to sink to the pit of her belly. She was strangely aware of her hands.
She had settled Fred down, at least for the moment, but she hadn’t settled herself down. Even if everything she’d said had been true, there was one truth above all of it.
She would rather spend time with Max than ‘her’ Fred, and she just didn’t know how to deal with that.
Chapter 5
Nicole thought she was doing a good job of balancing everything over the next couple of weeks. She realized she wasn’t when, late one evening, she came home and found Fred waiting for her outside her apartment building.
