by Anisa Marku
After you’ve spent some time thinking (and feeling!) about what your life will look like when you achieve your goal, it’s time to create your vision board.
There are many ways to create a vision board, but my two favorites are:
● On actual poster board
● Drawn out in your notebook
Using a notebook is more convenient, easier, and faster. I start by putting the main category I want to work on in the middle of the page, then I add sub-categories all around the main one. Or, you can start by putting your goal on the middle and then writing a few bullet points that relate to achieving that goal.
Poster boards take more time but are also more fun to do. You start by writing down the main goal/category you want to accomplish in the middle of the board, then you add photos/images/and inspirational quotes/words all around it. Try to find photos that represent your goal. Your finished project should look like the same (or at least very similar) to the vision you had in your mind before you started creating your vision board.
After you create your vision board, make sure that you don’t hide it in a closet, never to be seen again. You need to put it in a place where you can see it every single day. That can be by your bedroom where it is the first thing you see in the morning, or by your work desk where you can look at it throughout the day.
Setting goals
is like putting
your own dreams
on a vision board
with a due date on it.
Chapter 4
Find Your Passion – Find Your WHY
What do you love to do? You might already know what you want to achieve in life. You wrote down your big picture and your category, but now you have to ask yourself WHY?
The WHY it is going to be your motivating factor. The reason you are going to work every single day on the goals you’ve set for yourself.
Without the WHY, this whole process does not work because there is no one and nothing motivating you to work for it.
You go to work because you have bills to pay, so paying bills is your motivation for waking up, getting dressed, commuting, and doing a job that you might not even like every single day.
Going back to my goal of getting my degree, my motivating factor (or at least one of them) was that I wanted a better job.
I studied for the upcoming tests, I did my homework, I finished my assignments on time, all because in the back of my mind my WHY was always with me. I had enough motivation, and my WHY was important enough to keep me on track. With my WHY, I was able to push forward and not give up.
My WHY for writing this book:
1. I want to help others set and achieve their goals, no matter where they are in life or what their background is. I want to help them be the best version of themselves. No matter who you are or where you are in life right now, there is always room for improvement. There is also enough room to make big goals and crush them. Maybe you always wanted to learn a new language, move to another country, save enough to take your family to Disneyland, lose 10 lbs., or whatever else your goal might be. It will be a great feeling knowing that I am able to help even one person reach what they want in life.
2. Help my favorite organization in Albania, “Fundjave Ndryshe “. I would be beyond thankful to have the opportunity to work with this organization. They work really hard to go all over Albania and help people with food, clothes, shelter, and whatever they need. They go to the most rural areas where sometimes there is no access to clean water, give food and clothes to families, and even build homes for them. Having the opportunity to work with them will be amazing, both for people I am helping and for my own kids. My oldest boys, now 15 and 13, have been born and raised in the US. It will be such a worthwhile (and humbling) experience for them to get to help others and actually see that there is an entire world outside of what they have experienced in the US. I try as much as possible to travel with them; I want to show them other cultures and how we should accept and respect other people for who they are. However, it is a totally different scenario when you travel strictly for work, especially when you are helping others. I want to show my boys how rewarding it is when you give to others and help make their life a little bit easier.
3. I want the self-fulfillment of reaching my goal. Not too long ago, I wrote down “write a book” as one of my long-term goals. I don’t really remember how the idea got to me or why it stuck, but I am so glad it did. As I wrote it down in my notes, I didn't think much about it. A few weeks later, I attended a conference in Orlando. After I registered and got my welcome bag that first day, I received a book by Chandler Bold called Published. I started reading it right away. I thought to myself: is this really a sign, or just pure coincidence?
I will never know for certain, but that book helped me go from writing a note to publishing my own book. OK, reading the book wasn’t enough to do all that. The rest was up to me—taking the necessary steps toward those goals and following the path that I was supposed to lead to this book. My point is, just because I received a book it doesn't mean that I would read it or be interested in it. The same thing applies to my goals: just because I wrote down a goal doesn’t make that goal happen. But persistence, discipline, and courage do.
To achieve a goal you need to:
Be Persistent - Do what you need to do every single day within the timeframe you set for your goal.
Have Self-Discipline - You cannot give up on a goal just because you find it to be too difficult, you get distracted, or because you are a procrastinator.
Have Courage – You must believe in yourself and your abilities.
Don’t repeat the same old beliefs of I'm too old, I can't learn, I’m not strong enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not young enough… These thoughts won’t get you anywhere except the place you are in right now. And guess what? As long as your thinking is negative, there is no room for improvement or any positivity in your life. Even when all the doors of opportunity are open right in front of you, your mindset won't be able to see it.
Chapter 5
The Power of Goal Setting
Just writing any goal down on a piece of paper won’t make it happen. However, by taking the necessary steps (even small steps) towards your end goal, you will make it happen before you even know it. That is the power of goal setting.
But how do you take those steps? The answer, as we’ll explore below, is the difference between wishing and planning.
Wishing Vs. Planning
Wishing you could do this and that won’t make anything happen. Taking the steps to accomplish what you wish will help you achieve it. If you just wish to quit smoking, for example, but still carry a pack of cigarettes with you, what are the chances that you are going to quit?
Instead, if you make it your goal to stop smoking, and then make a plan and take the actions for it, your chances for quitting are higher, right?
It will look something like this:
-First, you make it your goal to stop smoking
-Then you list the reasons why you want to stop smoking:
● Save money
● Be healthier
● Smell better
-Then you list the small steps you have to take towards quitting:
○ Going from one pack a day to one pack every three days
○ Then one pack every seven days
○ Then 10 days- making it 2 cigarettes a day
○ Eventually quitting altogether
○ Not having easy access to a pack
○ Stay away from people that smoke for a while
○ Get professional help if needed
○ Acupuncture
You see, when you write down a goal with an action plan, it seems more possible, doesn’t it?
Chapter 6
Possibilities Are Endless
“It always seems impossible until it’s done!”
-Nelson Mandela
Now that you have set your goals and know
what you want (and why you want it), it’s time to work on the how.
People are often presented with many opportunities, but because of the way that they perceive themselves, they step back or don’t really acknowledge what is in front of them.
Here is a list of excuses I often hear (and maybe I am guilty of thinking some of them too):
1. I'm too old to do ABC.
2. People, where I come from, can’t do XYZ...
3. I don’t have time for this or that...
4. I’m afraid that people might judge me…
Do you struggle with staying motivated?
Here is a list of 10 things that will help you stay motivated, no matter what you are currently working on and what your goals are.
Remember WHY you started - Always try to remind yourself why you set these goals in the first place. It will keep you going forward (if the reason is important enough to you). What are you working on right now? Are you thinking of starting your own business? Are you trying to finish your degree? Or maybe you are trying to be healthier and lose some weight? No matter what you are trying to accomplish, always remember the reason why you are doing it. It might give you the little push you need to keep going.
Reward yourself for every step of the way - Every little step you go forward, give yourself a little reward.
Take it one day at a time – Focus on your goals one day at a time. That is how it works. So instead of rushing and trying to do it all at once, take thing slowly, go one step at a time, and keep moving forward.
Get rid of what doesn’t work – This can include negative people and thoughts that slow your progress. Instead, surround yourself with positive people and always try to think positively.
Set S.M.A.R.T goals – Remember, smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely.
Stop comparing your progress to others - I started a course about blogging a few months ago, and one thing that stood out to me was “don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.”
Write down your progress - Create a vision board. Some people are more visual than others, and vision boards are really helpful tools to help you see your goals with much more clarity.
Eat healthier and be active - Eating healthy and being active is important to looking and feeling great. When you feel good, you have the desire and the energy to keep up with everything that needs to be done. Always keep in mind that we might have all kinds of resources at our disposal, but if we don't use them, they are useless.
Don't be scared to fail - No one likes to fail, but failing is an important step on any learning process. There is no other way to learn if we don't fail. Quitting should be more difficult than failing.
Stop procrastinating - I honestly think that procrastination is the biggest enemy to any success. Instead, make a list of things that need to be done and prioritize them.
Chapter 7
Letting Go of What Doesn't Serve You
Even as a child, I always seemed to have a vision of what I wanted to achieve in my life. I blame that on being an only child—I didn’t have anyone to fight with. Instead, I spent my time thinking or daydreaming.
As an adult, you don't really have time for daydreaming anymore. With work, school and family, sometimes it feels like you are nothing more than a robot of flesh and blood—or at least that’s how it felt to me at times!
Every single minute of every single day has to be planned out, otherwise, things get out of hand pretty quickly. And sometimes they still do, but I learned how to let go and not feel like the whole world has collapsed on me because I missed one of the appointments or kids’ activities.
In order to keep up the stamina to meet your goals and improve the areas of your life that need improving, it’s very important to let go of anything that is weighing you down or holding you back.
Here is a list of some common things that can hold people back from achieving their goals. You should practice letting go of them!
Let go of:
Perfection - This is the need to do everything perfectly. Left unchecked these thoughts can be all-consuming, and they drain your mental energy on things that don't really matter.
Closed mentality - You have to be more open-minded to everything that comes into your life. Having a closed-minded mentality will only prevent you from seeing other people’s perspectives. Usually, closed-minded people are very stubborn, and it is very difficult to have any kind of discussion with them. They don't like doing things differently or listen to new ideas.
Resentment/grudges - The sooner you forgive, the better it is for you and your own well-being. Holding on to these negative feelings is the same as carrying a heavy weight around with you all the time. It is not physically heavy, but it weighs you down mentally and emotionally. Learn how to let go of grudges so you can feel lighter within yourself.
Toxic relationships - Here I am talking about relationships in general—a friend, spouse, family member, co-worker, etc. You have to know when that relationship is not good for you and your health. Some people just drain your life completely, and most times they don't even realize it (or maybe some of them do it intentionally).
It is up to you to acknowledge it and make a change. You don't have to get into an argument or be rude to them; you can simply distance yourself from that person. Of course, it can get more complicated than that when it comes to a spouse or a close family member, but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own life and happiness. You can't live miserably just to make someone else happy.
Worrying - Can you change whatever you are worrying about? Stop worrying for no reason! Worrying comes from fear and anxiety. I have been dealing with fear and anxiety for most of my life. The difference is that now I control it and it doesn't control me like it used to. I wasted so much of my time and energy worrying about things that don’t really matter and didn’t actually happen.
Other people’s perceptions/opinions - What others think of you it is not your problem, it’s theirs. Most of the time, their opinion of you is completely wrong. They say things how they see it, not how they are in reality. It is what they perceive from the outside, and some people just feel the need to have an opinion about everything and everyone. It’s just how they are. It doesn't have anything to do with you.
Trying to please everyone - If you try to please everyone, you will suffer as a result. If you try to make everyone around you happy, you are going to say and do things that go against what you believe and think.
Taking everything personally - Has someone been mean or rude to you? Forgive them and don't take it personally. Maybe it didn't have to do anything with you. Maybe they were just having a bad day and wanted to vent at someone. It’s not fair, but it happens all the time. We all have bad days, but that should not give anyone a free pass to be rude to others. However, it might give you some insight into why they are reacting to you that way. A lot of times someone’s bad attitude has nothing to do with you personally, so don't take it as such.
Anger - Feeling angry is not good for your soul. It just takes away from your happiness and drains your energy. First, you need to acknowledge why you are angry. Sometimes we might feel anger toward someone and we don't know where it’s coming from. Once you find out the WHY, you can work towards letting go of anger because it just doesn't serve you at all.
Control – Let’s face it, you can't control everything going on around you. As much as you try, some things are out of your control. Accept it, acknowledge it, and move on.
The past - Stop thinking about what happened. It’s in the past, so leave it in the past. I personally know many people who keep bringing up their past and the things they did or didn't do. I feel like it is such a waste of time and energy to be talking or thinking about the past. You cannot turn the time back, can you? Instead, invest your time and energy into something useful, like working towards your goals for a better future.
The need to be always right - You don'
t always have to make someone else see your point of view. Having your own opinions should be enough without explanations. You can't force someone to agree with you.
Past failures - Whether it’s a failed relationship, a marriage, or a business venture, we can always learn from our past mistakes. Look at those failures as good teaching lessons. You can choose to see them as failures, or you can see the positive life lessons that they offer you. Nothing happens for no reason. Learn from your mistakes instead of feeling like a failure.
Conclusion
Congratulations! You have stuck with it, and now you are well on your way to setting and achieving your goals. With preparation, planning, and dedication, you will start to see your life transform before your very eyes. You deserve it!
Quick Recap
● Write it down
○ Visualize the big picture of what you want to achieve
○ Write it down!
○ Find your WHY that will motivate you to work on your goals every day
● Make it S.M.A.R.T goals
○ Specific
○ Measurable
○ Achievable
○ Relevant
○ Timely
● Break it down by:
○ Task
○ Time
● Hold Yourself Accountable
○ Find an accountability buddy
○ Remind yourself that you are the only person responsible for yourself, your life, and your success
