After removing her hat and sunglasses, Zoe stretches out beside me and rests her head on my thigh. “Thank you.”
“Good food?”
“I’ll be sure to write Tammy a card, but I was saying thank you for today. For bringing me up here and sharing this with me.” Twisting her head, she stares into my eyes. “I think this might be my favorite day.”
“It’s not over yet.” My fingers brush over her silky braid.
“How do you do it?” she murmurs, sounding sleepy.
“Hmm?” Shifting my body, I bring her closer so she rests her head on my chest. My arm slides under her shoulder and curls around her waist.
“Live in the moment.”
Sun warms our skin as we cuddle. Sliding my hand down her arm, I list some of my truths. “Lots of practice. Accepting what I can and can’t change. Knowing who I am helps.”
“Who is Justin Garrison?”
“I’m still finding out. Cowboy is the obvious label, but I run a business and I’m responsible for dozens of people’s livelihood. I feel responsible for my family. Probably because my dad was a narcissist who only cared about himself. Never, and I mean, never, do I want to go down the same path he did. Although for a few years after college, I was a selfish, egotistical prick.”
She giggles and rests her chin on my chest. “Really?”
“That’s funny to you?”
“I can see it. It’s surprising you’re not more of a cocky prick.”
I run my finger over her forehead and follow her hairline to her jaw. “I made a promise to myself to not take the easy path through life. It would be easy to walk away from the ranch, stop competing. Get a job focused on making money and let life carry me along.”
As we stare into each other’s eyes, I see tears form in the corners of hers. When one falls, I brush it away with the pad of my thumb. “Why are you crying?”
“Because that life you describe is the one we’re all supposed to want. The American Dream.”
“And you don’t want that either?”
“I want a partner and a family of my own, but the rest of it feels like a box I’m being shoved into. It feels suffocating.”
“Get out of the box. We get one wild life to follow our dreams. The longer we wait, the more we end up trying to live up to other people’s expectations.”
She scoots closer and sweeps her lips over mine in a light kiss. Falling into the feeling of her lying on top of me, our bodies pressed together and our mouths exploring, I close my eyes. Lost in our kiss.
This feels right.
Like truly wild things, it’s beautiful and fragile.
“I could stay here all afternoon, but if we do, we won’t get to our destination by nightfall.”
“Why can’t we camp here?” Her lips skim my jaw.
“Because I have a plan.”
“What happened to living free of expectations?”
I poke her nose. “Trust me, you’ll like the other location even more than this.”
“Okay, let’s giddy up and go.”
Instead of releasing her, I roll on top of her, pinning her arms above her head. Giving her one more deep kiss, I slowly grind my hips into hers. “I’d stay here and make love to you all afternoon, but you’re going to be happier if we wait.”
Her eyes slowly blink before they close. “You can’t say things like that. It’s not fair.”
“I never said I was fair.” Shifting my weight, I kneel between her legs. I take a moment to memorize how beautiful she is. Her dark braid has come loose and her golden skin glows in the dappled light coming through the full aspen trees.
An unfamiliar tightness grips my chest as emotion floods my body. What started as playful curiosity and casual interest is changing into something more, something deeper.
I’m not willing to label or closely examine this new feeling just yet. With a deep inhale, I expand my chest, making more room in my heart for Zoe.
Chapter 28
Zoe
I never want to leave our lunch spot. Justin has to bribe me with an extra brownie and the promise of something even better to get me back on Dolly.
The afternoon ride takes us over another pass and through thick forests. Sunlight warms my skin and I strip off my shirt, riding in only my yoga camisole. The thin interlaced straps on the back may give me weird tan lines, but the sun and breeze feel amazing.
Dolly’s a trooper. We fall into an easy partnership and she follows Cash without much coaxing or direction from me. My nerves fade the longer I ride until being on her back feels comfortable. I can’t believe in such a short time I’ve fallen in love with riding.
The man ahead of me is to blame for that. I’ve spent most of the ride staring at his back. Watching the roll of his hips as he sits in the saddle has me occasionally squeezing my own thighs. Which sometimes means Dolly takes off in a trot until I can slow her down again. It’s a good thing Justin doesn’t realize our inability to maintain a steady pace is due to my lusting after his backside.
I’m having a serious relationship with his broad shoulders and narrow waist. In a white T-shirt that looks like it may have shrunk a little in the wash, his back muscles taunt me. Close, but not close enough to run my hands over them.
In other words, for hours I’m being tortured by his proximity.
The sun slides lower in the sky behind us as we ride east. The trail twists up a slope, revealing a view of sharp peaks in the distance. A few have traces of glacial snow despite months of summer.
“Our spot is over this ridge.”
While I’ve loved being out here in the middle of nowhere and the amazing views, and making out in a valley with Justin, I’m ready to not be straddling a horse. I’d rather straddle a cowboy.
We cross the high point in the trail and begin to descend into another narrow valley. Somewhere close, a stream rushes down the mountain. It’s the only sound beside birdsong and the clop of the horses’ hooves on the rocks scattered over the trail. The late afternoon sun casts long shadows.
Justin stops and dismounts. I glance around at the level spot as he leads Cash to another grove of aspens.
“This is it?” Ahead of us the trail takes a sharp turn and disappears.
“You sound disappointed. Wait until you see the stars tonight. It’s clear enough the Milky Way should be spectacular.”
The city girl in me balks at camping on the side of a mountain. All day I’ve convinced myself I can do this. Push myself out of my comfort zone and have a new adventure. This is what I came here for, right?
After semi-gracefully sliding down from Dolly’s back, I lead her over to the trees. My euphoria from earlier fades as I absorb the reality we’re going to be sleeping in a nylon bag on the ground. I didn’t even camp as a kid. My mother is allergic to the outdoors.
I really have to pee. Staring at the flat grass and open pattern of trees, I wonder where exactly I’m supposed to go.
Justin looks so happy, grinning at me and chatting away to the horses as he removes their saddles and tack. He slips off the bridles and replaces them with more comfortable harnesses with longer leads.
I can do this. It’s one night.
But what if this is what he wants to do all the time? If I don’t speak up, I’m not being true to either of us. Trapped again by trying to please him to my own detriment.
“I can’t.”
“What can’t you do?” His dark eyes meet mine and there’s amusement in them as he steps closer.
“The camping and sleeping in a tent. I’m sorry. I should’ve said something earlier. It’s not dark yet, can we keep riding? Can horses ride at night? I’m sorry. I don’t even know if they have night vision. That’s probably dangerous.”
“Shh,” he hushes me.
“I’ve ruined everything.” Tears swell in my eyes. “I should’ve told you before. I’m not this kind of woman.”
“What kind is that?” He brushes away a few escaped tears from my cheeks. “Beautiful and adventu
rous? Open to trying new things and going outside of your comfort zone? Because you’re all of the above.”
“I’m not. I like hotels and room service. Flushable toilets with seats. Chairs. Walls. Windows. Screens. Air conditioning. Pillows. A bed.” I list random things I suddenly can’t live without. “And I really need to pee, but there’s no privacy.”
His lips form a straight line, and I can’t tell if he’s fighting laughter or disappointment.
“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” His voice lacks the disappointment I’m expecting.
“I was hoping for a miracle?” Talking isn’t helping me forget my bladder is about to revolt. I bounce from foot to foot to distract myself.
Soft laughter spills out of him. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
“Can’t you point me in the direction?” When I agreed to this I never thought about how to handle simple biological functions in the woods. My mind was too full of sexy thoughts about making love under the stars or in fields full of wildflowers.
Thanks for ruining my fantasies, reality.
Justin holds out his hand for me. “I know the perfect spot right around the bend in the trail.”
“Seems a little far.”
“With bears and other wildlife in the area, best to keep things separate.”
“Not comforting.”
“You’re stuck with me tonight. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Instead of watching my footing, I allow myself to stare at his face. I see nothing but earnest honesty. He’s too good to be true. Too bad I’m not the right kind of woman for him. At least we’ll have tonight together.
“We’re here,” he announces.
I drag my eyes away from his and look around for the promised privacy.
“What’s that?” I point at the small log cabin perched on the hill a few yards away.
He squeezes my hand. “I’d never make you sleep in a tent. Do you like it?”
“You see it, too? It’s real?” I’ve never been so relieved to see a house in my life.
“It is. Bathroom is the second door on the right.”
When I start jogging toward the door, I don’t even know if it’s locked. Thankfully, it’s not. Inside, I barely notice anything but the open door to the bathroom. With a deep sigh, I finally release my bladder and observe the small room. An antler-framed mirror reflects the light from the window. A small vanity and sink take up the wall opposite the toilet. I expect bare bones, like a hunting cabin, but the fixtures and lighting are nice.
Washing my hands, I cringe when I see a streak of dirt on my face. I say a silent thank you to the hot water and the promise of a hot shower soon.
On the other side of the door, Justin’s boots clomp down the hall and then heavy bags drop on the wood floor.
I peek my head into the hallway and follow the sound of him moving around the living area. When I reach the end of the hall, my jaw falls open.
The far wall is all glass, facing an interrupted view of mountain peaks and valleys straight out of a painting. A large deck juts off the house, seeming to float above the sloping valley. Drawn to the vista outside, I pass through a living room with nice yet comfortable furniture and a large fieldstone fireplace on one wall.
Somewhere beyond those sharp mountains, the rest of the world churns on. People go to Walmart and the movies, make dinner, pray for bedtime for their kids, and complain about the grind of life. Somewhere out there is reality, full of expectations and disappointment.
“Better than sleeping on the ground?” Justin steps next to me. In his hands are two ice cold bottles of beer, small drops of condensation already forming and gliding down the necks.
“Where did those come from?” I accept one of the beers and then take a long sip of the crisp IPA.
“House has running water and a kitchen. All propane or solar powered.” He grins, revealing those beautiful white teeth of his. He turns me by placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Holy crack.” The simple kitchen is outfitted with all the basics, but my attention focuses on a large glass cake stand holding a chocolate frosted cake. “There’s cake?”
“I guessed about the flavor.” The sweet earnest expression is back in his eyes when I face him. He wants to make me happy.
“You made a cake for me?” I’m stunned.
He brushes a hand over his head, a shy smile on his face. “Lord, no. You don’t want my cooking. Tammy’s responsible.”
“How’d you get it here? In your pack?”
“Well …” Taking my hand, he leads me to the kitchen sink. “Don’t get mad.”
“I’m not sure I’ve forgiven you yet for leading me to think I was going to be sleeping in a tent tonight.”
“Then since you’re already mad, look out the window.”
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to see. There’s a small barn surrounded by a simple wood fence next to the cabin. “The horses don’t have to sleep outside either?”
“Unlike someone else, they don’t mind sleeping outdoors.”
“What am I supposed to notice?” I stare out the window.
Stepping behind me, so close I can feel the warmth from his chest brush against my back, he lifts his hand and points toward the trees.
“Is that a road?”
I both feel and hear his deep chuckle.
“You’re telling me we could drive here?” I try to turn around but his hips pin mine to the counter and his arms create a cage around me.
“You’d need an off road Jeep to traverse the fire road.”
“But it’s possible?” I ask, disbelieving this magical place can be accessed by something as basic as a Jeep.
He sweeps my braid away from my neck and trails his nose from my ear to the curve of my shoulder. “Didn’t you have fun today?”
Thinking about our picnic and the slow, carefree pace of the trip here, I nod.
“Good.” His mouth slowly follows the same path as his nose.
My body hums with pleasure while my mind attempts to process the how, why, and where.
“What is this place?” I ask, tilting my head to the side to give him more access to my new favorite spot.
“A family property. Originally my father had it built for my mother, but now it’s part of the 10th Mountain hut system when we’re not using it.”
“It’s incredible. Anyone can come here?”
“We screen the renters. In the winter, it’s accessible by skis. During the summer, we use it for overnight trail rides. Sometimes I come up here to get away.”
“From the ranch?”
“From people in general.”
“Not a lover of humans?”
“Some, yes.” He sweeps his tongue along my skin. “Salty ones.”
I moan as his arms wrap around my waist.
“I prefer the company of a few over being with masses of people. The ranch has a constant buzz of activity in the summer. I look forward to when the snow comes and we drop down to a skeleton staff. When I need quiet, I head into the mountains.”
“By yourself?”
“Best company I know.” He gently tugs my braid.
“Far from the applause of the crowd?”
“You’ve probably figured out by now, I’m not into stardom. Or crowds.” He gently encourages me to turn with pressure on my hips. “I prefer one on one.”
“Me too,” I whisper, unable to break the spell he’s created with his hands and mouth.
Chapter 29
Justin
A big part of me thought Zoe would be pissed because I misled her about our accommodations. If she is, she’s hiding it well.
Better to lie about sleeping in a tent and reveal a cabin than the other way around. Like stuffing your jeans. How does that help the situation? Once you take off your pants, the truth is going to disappoint. I’ve never understood it. And obviously, I’ve never done it.
I could take her right here on the kitchen counter, but there’s more to the tour,
including the master bedroom with the huge four poster king bed.
We can have sex in every room in the house, including the kitchen, the sauna, and definitely under the stars on the deck. Out here, with no one around for miles, we have the ultimate privacy, freedom to be ourselves. And that is worth more than any money sitting in the bank.
I press against her, caressing her lips with mine in a slow, soft kiss full of promises. Tonight, there’s no rush. Nowhere else for us to be.
Her fingers brush past my waist before resting on my ass. I chuckle against her mouth as she pulls me closer, opening her legs to settle me between them.
“I’m going to be honest, I’ve been a little obsessed with your ass since the first rodeo.” Her breath mingles with mine as she speaks.
“Seems only fair.” I trail my hands above her waist and let them rest on her ribs, right below the fullness of her breasts.
“I blame the chaps.” She kisses me. Or tries to, but I’m laughing and our mouths fumble against each other.
Leaning away, I ask, “Excuse me?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.” Her beautiful dark eyes narrow as she stares into mine. “You know.”
“I’m not sure I do.” My cheek twitches as I fight a smile. “Standard protection. Like a helmet. Or a vest.”
I drag one of her hands away from my ass and pull it to my chest, placing it over my heart.
Her lashes flutter as she quickly blinks. Staring at her hand, she exhales a shaky breath. I love her reactions to my words, to my touch.
“I’m more than what’s framed by a pair of chaps,” I whisper the words as I kiss the corner of her mouth. “But if you’re curious to see more, all you have to do is ask.”
Her groan makes me laugh. “Too thick?”
When her hips roll into mine, she responds, “No, feels perfect.”
“You.” I give her a peck. “Are. Perfect.” Each word is emphasized with another kiss. “Come with me.”
I lead her upstairs to the master bedroom. The view up here is even better and she immediately steps closer to the windows.
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