by Coleen Kwan
“I’m not judging you,” Amber murmured. “I understand how you feel. We all do.”
No, she didn’t, and neither did his sister, because only Caleb, six months after his mom had split, had heard his dad quietly sniffling in the bathroom in the middle of the night. His dad—the strong, tough, silent guy who’d once stitched up his own hand after a slip up with a knife—had choked out his sobs, alone in the dark with his pain. It was an image seared into Caleb’s brain forever. And even though his dad had recovered and eventually remarried, he was never the same person again. And neither was Caleb.
“I don’t hate her. I just don’t want anything to do with her.”
“Right. So you’re not going to see her when she visits?”
His fingers dug into the wooden railing. “What the hell? She’s coming here, to Pine Falls?”
Amber winced. “Oh, sorry, I thought you knew…”
Caleb shook his head. So that was what his sister had wanted to tell him at the chili festival. He couldn’t blame Hannah for hesitating. “When is she coming?”
“In a couple weeks. She’s hoping to meet her granddaughter, but Hannah hasn’t decided on that yet.”
“Good. She doesn’t deserve to meet Amelia,” he burst out, surprised at the depth of his feeling. Tracey Willmett had caused enough carnage in the family; his innocent little niece ought to be protected from her. “What about Dad? Does he know she’s coming?”
“Yes, but he seems okay with it.”
“Unlike me, you mean.” Caleb pried his fingers from the railing and flexed his cramping hands.
“I remember what happened when Tracey left you guys. Out of the three of you, I think you suffered the most.”
“No, it was Dad who got burned the worst. I got over it.”
Amber tilted her head to one side, her expression pensive, as if she wanted to disagree with him.
“Don’t look at me like that, Amber,” Caleb continued. “It’s true. I made up my mind a long time ago that my mom wasn’t worth it, and I’m fine with it.”
And he’d also made up his mind that heartbreak and long-term relationships weren’t worth it, either, and he was fine with that, too.
“Okay. I accept that. I just thought you might…”
Amber had a big heart, and she could talk him into a lot of things, but not this.
“I know.” He hauled her in for a one-armed hug. “And I appreciate it, but just drop it, okay?”
“Okay.” She chuckled, pinching his leg.
The sliding glass doors opened, and Logan stepped out onto the deck. “Where’s that woman of mine?”
He strolled over, and Amber moved closer to slip into his arms. “Didn’t realize I was your property.”
“Babe, just humor me, okay?”
Caleb could understand why Logan was crazy about his fiancée. By any standards, Amber was a stunning woman. Even he had once harbored a tiny crush on her, but that was a long time ago.
He leaned back against the railings and looked up at the night sky. The news that his mom was coming back was disturbing, but as he scanned the star-studded darkness, he found his thoughts drifting back to Lily having a fun night at the bowling alley with a math geek. He shook his head at himself. This was definitely not the Friday night he’d planned.
…
“And do you know what the Wookiee’s home planet is?” Greg said as Lily stood at the ball rack, debating which bowling ball to choose.
“I have no idea,” Lily replied.
“It’s Kashyyyk, pronounced ‘kah-sheek.’” He beamed at her, revealing something green wedged between his front teeth. It looked like a piece of scallion from the sour cream dip that he was dunking his potato wedge into.
“Amazing.” She lifted up a pink ball.
“Oh, I wouldn’t use that one,” Greg said. “What’s wrong with the one I chose for you?”
“Nothing, but I like this one. It goes with my shirt and my earrings.”
Greg pursed his lips. “The one I chose is a better weight.”
It hadn’t helped her much. So far, she’d found the gutter more times than the pins, regardless of which ball she used. But it didn’t matter, right? She was here to learn more about Greg, not to improve her bowling.
Shrugging, she lined herself up with the pins, stepped forward, and threw the ball as straight as she could manage. The pink ball bounced and spun a few times before jumping into the gutter, rolling down the alley without troubling the pins.
“Argh, too bad,” Greg muttered, his expression pained. “Better luck next time?”
“Your turn.”
“No rush,” Greg said as he reached for another potato wedge.
Lily sat next to him, hoping to change the subject to one that wasn’t Star Wars related. “Did I tell you I have a pet bearded dragon?”
“Yeah, you mentioned that already.” Greg paused, his cheeks reddening as if he realized how brusque his comment sounded. “Uh, well, anyway, like I was saying, that Wookiee question was asked at a trivia night recently, and I was the only one who got it right.”
“Well, that’s very interesting. My pet dragon’s called Noodles.”
“Mm, yeah.” He glanced around and wiped his fingers on a napkin. “Of course, if it’s a special Star Wars trivia night, then the questions are a lot harder. For example…”
As he launched into a detailed account of obscure Star Wars factoids, Lily attempted to stop her eyes from glazing over. She’d tried her best this evening, but she couldn’t say it had been a very successful date. When she’d finally met Greg face-to-face, she had been surprisingly calm and collected and able to hold an intelligent conversation with him.
In person he looked younger and softer than she’d expected, with rounded features and smooth cheeks that looked like he never had to shave. He wore a long-sleeved checked shirt tucked neatly into tan-colored pants, and brown sneakers, and looked exactly like the math teacher he was. In contrast, he’d seemed a bit startled when he saw her in the flesh. Even now she got the feeling he didn’t appreciate her pink flamingo shirt.
They’d talked about their jobs. He was impressed she was a certified accountant and confessed that was what had drawn him to her profile on eCherish. “It’s difficult finding people of the same educational background as mine in a small place like Pine Falls,” he’d said with total seriousness.
The conversation had moved to films and inevitably to Star Wars, one of Greg’s passions. Lily appreciated that millions of fans were enthralled by the franchise even if she wasn’t, and she’d made an effort to ask intelligent questions. Greg seemed to take that as permission to dominate the conversation, and for the past half hour she’d heard more about Star Wars than she ever wanted to. She’d tried gentle tacks into other topics, but somehow he always found a way of bringing the conversation back to his favorite subject.
Lily’s mind drifted off to Caleb, as it had several times already. What was he doing tonight? And why was she so obsessed with the question? He was a handsome, popular guy; he’d have lots of offers for company.
Stop thinking about Caleb. It wasn’t fair to Greg. She forced herself to focus on the man as he got up to bowl. He was a nice guy, nicer than Nick from last week, that was for sure. And yes, he did go on about Star Wars too much, but maybe that was his way of covering up his nervousness. When she was nervous, she babbled on about weird stuff, too. She should cut Greg some slack. He had a steady job, he was polite, and more importantly, he was serious about relationships, otherwise he wouldn’t be so fussy about his potential partner’s educational background.
Could she see a future with Greg? She squinted, trying to imagine him sitting on her couch, holding her hand, even kissing her, but all she saw was a blank fog. She tried again, hoping to feel some kind of buzz, however slight. Nope, it wasn’t happening. Well, that didn’t mean anything. She shouldn’t be thinking so far into the future anyway. This was just a first date. If they spent more time together, the chemistry woul
d start to happen.
“So,” Greg said when he was back at the lane-side table. “How long have you been on eCherish?”
“Not long. About two months.”
“I’ve been a member for a year. I’ve gone on dates with five or six women.”
“Uh, right.” She took a sip of her drink, hoping he wouldn’t want details about her previous dates.
Greg shook his head and let out a deep sigh. “I tell you, dating can be tough. Sometimes, I don’t know what women want.”
He began a long soliloquy on his dating history, detailing all the faults of the women he’d dated. Lily tried to divert him, but he ignored her as he droned on. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he’d shown a little humility. They might have bonded over a few shared disasters, but it became clear that Greg blamed everything on the women who had all failed to appreciate his unique qualities.
In the end, she leaped up from the table, saying she was dying to get back to bowling, and grabbed the pink ball again. It was her last frame, and she managed to knock down three pins with her two chances. Greg bowled a strike, and the game was over.
They left the bowling alley without delay, Greg walking her to her car. Lily forced herself not to hurry. The evening had not been successful, and she already knew she didn’t want a second date with Greg, but that was no reason to end this one rudely.
When they reached her little green Kia, she turned to him, her rehearsed farewell ready. “Well, Greg, thank you for the date. I—”
Without warning he clamped a hand on her shoulder and pulled her toward him. “There’s a comic con in Sacramento next weekend. Why don’t you come with? I guarantee it’ll be fun.”
Lily stiffened, put off by the sudden, uninvited physical contact. “Thanks, but I think I’m busy next weekend.”
“The whole weekend?” He sounded incredulous.
“Also, I don’t think I’m all that into comic cons.”
Greg pouted. “But you said you were interested in Star Wars. I’m going as Darth Vader. You could dress up, too.” His eyes crawled over her. She’d thought he was bland before, but now there was a lewd air about him. “As a Princess Leia slave girl. You wouldn’t look bad in a gold bikini, but you’d have to do something about your hair.”
Lily couldn’t stop herself from shuddering. “No, thanks.”
“Aw, come on.” His brows lowered, and his face grew sullen. “I thought you were different because you look all kooky, but you’re just like any other woman. Playing hard to get.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let me go, please.” She tried to jerk her arm free from his grip, but Greg was surprisingly determined.
“I’ll let you go if you give me a kiss.” He bent his head, his puckered lips looming toward her like a monster sea slug.
Ducking his repulsive mouth, she pushed against his shoulder. “Greg, I’m telling you one last time. Get your hands off me. Now.”
“You owe me. I paid for everything, and I had to listen to you yakking on about your weird pet lizard. I’m not asking you to sleep with me. Just a kiss. You should be grateful for—ooof!” He wheezed as Lily jerked up her knee, scoring a perfect hit to his groin.
While he was still doubled over, she opened her purse, pulled out a couple of twenty dollar bills, and flung them in his puce-colored face.
“That should cover my share of the bill and then some.”
She climbed into Kermit, cranked the engine, and pulled away. In her rearview mirror she caught a glimpse of Greg crab-walking away. He wasn’t too incapacitated to pick up the money, she noticed.
She drove all the way home in icy calmness, never once breaking the speed limit or doing anything rash. Even when she arrived home and shut the door, she felt in control. But then her phone began to buzz, and when she saw Caleb’s name pop up on the screen, she started to shake, the trembling building up so fast she could barely answer the call.
“C-Caleb?” Why was she stuttering? What was wrong with her? And then, to her horror, she started to cry.
Chapter Seven
Caleb shoved his fingers through his hair, fingernails raking against his scalp. It was either that or put his fist through the wall of Lily’s living room, and that wouldn’t solve anything.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked for the third time.
Lily nodded. She was sitting on her couch, looking small in an oversized Big Bird T-shirt and baggy shorts, the flamingo earrings still in place. After hearing her tearful voice on the phone, he’d expected to find her hunched up or curled into a ball. But instead she was busily making another flower, her hook stabbing in and out of the red yarn.
“I’m sorry for dragging you away,” she said, the huskiness of her voice telling him that she wasn’t herself yet. “You didn’t have to come over.”
“Of course I did. You were crying. Yes, don’t deny it,” he said as she opened her mouth as if to contradict him. “That jerk made you cry.” He clenched his fists once more, the muscles in his forearms quivering. “I’m going to hunt him down and teach him a lesson—”
“No, promise me you won’t.”
“But he—”
“Look.” She rested her crochet work in her lap and dashed her knuckles against eyes that were still faintly red-rimmed. “I wasn’t crying because he hurt me or frightened me. I cried because—because I’m angry with him. How—how dare he think he has a right to kiss me just because he paid for the date? How dare he think I owe him anything? And—and how dare he think I wanted it because I was desperate? It makes me furious to think that was going through his mind the entire evening, the slimeball.”
She pushed to her feet and spread her arms apart. “But you know what else I’m angry about? I’ve spent the past half hour wondering if maybe he has a point. He said I looked kooky, and he based his assumptions about my personality on that. I know I’m weird. I know that better than anyone else. The thing is, maybe I need to change the way I present myself if I want to attract the right man. Maybe things like this”—she flicked a finger at her dangly flamingo earrings—“aren’t helping me.” She swallowed. “I always thought it was a plunging neckline that might give men the wrong idea, but apparently looking weird and ‘desperate’ does, too.”
Caleb crossed the room in two strides and grasped Lily by the shoulders. He stared down at her. She was paler than usual, her makeup was smudged, and there was a faint scratch on her upper lip. His hands tightened at the sight, a red mist swirling inside his brain. He battled to control it. He used to be a hothead, doing and saying things without regard, but he was wiser now. The last thing Lily needed was for him to lose it.
“Never,” he said through gritted teeth. “What you were wearing is no excuse for what that asshole did.”
“Okay.” She swallowed, eyes lifting to him. “Thanks.”
Up close, he could make out tiny flecks of green in her brown eyes. Beneath her loose T-shirt her shoulders felt delicate and warm under his palms, making him aware that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Stop. Why was he even thinking that? Talk about inappropriate.
He yanked his hands away from her. “Uh, I’ll go…make you a cup of tea or something.” He said the first thing that came to mind before striding out of the living room.
In Lily’s bright little kitchen with its black-and-white-tiled floor and gingham café curtains, he let out a deep exhale. Get your act together, man. You’re here to support Lily, not feel her up. She’d had a terrible night, and it was up to him to cheer her up.
How did girls cheer themselves up after a crappy date? He thought of his sister and Amber. Of course, ice cream. He checked the freezer. Bingo. Two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s. He grabbed the pint of salted caramel, found two spoons, and returned to the living room.
Lily glanced up from the couch where she had resumed stabbing at her wool. For the first time that night she gave him a faint smile. “Salted caramel ice cream. That’s just what I need. How did you know?”
Than
k God she’d smiled. Finally he was doing something right. “I have a sister. Plus, I’ve watched my fair share of chick flicks.”
“For once I’m happy to fulfill a stereotype.”
He sat next to her on the couch and offered her a spoon. For a few minutes they enjoyed their ice cream in companionable silence.
“Whatcha making there?” Caleb pointed with his chin at the yarn and hook she’d set to one side. “More earrings?”
“Actually, it’s part of a dress. I’ve entered one of the home arts competitions at the county fair. I’ve been trying to get it finished but I guess I’ve been…distracted.”
Caleb snuck a sideways glance at Lily. Her brow was smooth now, but the tip of her nose was still pink.
“It’s my fault,” he said, digging his spoon into the tub. “Tonight, I mean.”
“What? Of course not.”
“Yes. I’m your dating coach. I should’ve checked this guy out more. Or I should’ve been at the bowling alley to stop him when he got too grabby.”
“Caleb, you can’t stand guard over me while I’m on a date. And there wasn’t a second when I was afraid of Greg. He thought he was entitled to kiss me, and I set him straight.”
“Yeah, you sure did. A knee straight in the balls.” He couldn’t help his lips twitching. “I would’ve liked to have seen that. Where did you learn it?”
Lily shrugged. “I did a basic self-defense class in college, back when I was hating all men, but that was years ago. This was the first time I’d had to use it, and I just seemed to act on instinct.”
“I’m glad you did.” He licked his spoon clean. “Why did you hate all men? Was it after you broke up with your boyfriend?”
She nodded. “It was a really horrible period in my life. I was so into Justin, but I’ve had time to think things over. I see now that I was insecure and pining for attention back then.”
