The line went quiet.
“And bro?” Sam asked finally.
His brother’s tone left a sinking feeling in Josh’s stomach. “Do I want to know?”
“Probably not.” Sam laughed, but not the carefree sound Josh had grown up hearing. “But I’ll say it anyway. Try not to break any more hearts until you hit your twelve-month mark.”
“I won’t.” Josh meant that. He doubted he’d ever find another woman as wonderful or as perfect for him as Hope Ryan.
* * *
June passed slowly, the long, hot days taking forever to turn from one to the next. Hope kept herself busy making items to sell at the various shops in town and favors for events. Cami and Dan’s painting remained in the closet, but Hope had done more research about restoring it.
Progress, yes, but she wasn’t ready to put the canvas on an easel and try.
Still, she felt off, as if a piece of her was missing and she had no way to get it back.
Von worried about her, but his relationship with Marley was getting more serious, and he wasn’t around much. Hope kept telling him she was fine. Maybe not one hundred percent. After a few days of moping, she didn’t want to do that any longer. She believed Josh was making progress toward his one-year sober mark and happy where he was. That was enough for her.
July arrived with an explosion of red, white, and blue. Hope loved the patriotic decorations on storefronts and lampposts, but she wasn’t sad the next week to see Indigo Bay return to its typical summer vacation crowds instead of bursting at the seams with additional visitors.
In her studio, Hope painted sand dollars—favors for a wedding at the end of the month. Lines from a romantic poem would go on the back, along with the bride and groom’s name and wedding date.
Rave reviews about Zoe’s beach-themed weddings meant every weekend from now through Labor Day was booked. Most were ordering customized favors from Hope, too. She’d never had so much work.
A knock sounded on the French doors. She looked over to see Paula standing on the deck with a pink bakery box in her hands. Her neighbor must have seen Hope working and bypassed the front door for the direct entrance to the studio.
Hope opened the doors. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve been experimenting with new flavors. I brought you a few samples.” Stepping inside the studio, Paula handed over the box. “How are you doing?”
“Pretty good,”
“Come on.” Paula’s smile spread to her blue-gray eyes. “You’re doing better than that.”
Hope set the box on her workbench. “What do you mean?”
“When you came back from New York, you were a mess. Not for a week or two, but months. Von and I thought we might have to do an intervention.”
She sighed. That had been an awful time, but… “I wasn’t that bad.”
“You were.” Paula gave her a sorry-not-sorry look. “But you had your reasons.”
Hope had. “I wanted to divorce Adam, knew in my heart that was the right thing to do, but the way he destroyed the loft and my paintings, then blamed me, he ripped away my power and control of the situation. I felt helpless. Maybe that’s why I lost it so badly.”
“Do you think not knowing Josh for long helped you not shut down this time?”
“I…” Hope paused, considering. “Call it love at first sight. I had strong feelings for him. It was different from breaking up with Adam, though.”
“In what way?”
She remembered the day Josh left. “I had no choice. He needed to put himself first, and I understood that, but it hurt so badly. Still, no matter how I felt or might have wanted things to be different, saying goodbye to Josh was the right thing to do. I miss him, but…”
“What?”
So many things with Josh had been different compared to others. Not only Adam. Von treated her as if she might break. Others believed the rumors and thought she was a crazy person about to go berserk.
Not Josh.
He’d come to her aid in the multipurpose room and by flying her to Nashville, but he’d also seen her as a strong and confident woman. He’d trusted her to be there to help him. She hadn’t gotten scared or run away or fallen apart. She’d been the woman he knew she was, the woman she wanted to be and would continue to be.
Not for him or anyone else.
But for herself.
Suddenly what she wanted crystalized in her mind.
She wanted a man who saw her as Josh had, who would recognize her strengths and accept her as she was. The way she’d done with him, too.
“I don’t want to close my heart off again. Don’t want to say no to a future relationship as I did after Adam.” Saying the words loosened the knots inside her. “I want love. I wanted that with Josh, but now I plan to give myself time to heal and hold on to the hope I’ll find love down the road.”
Paula hugged her. “You will. I know you will.”
“Thanks, but I’m in no rush.”
“When you least expect it…”
They both laughed.
Hope eyed Paula’s dress. “Looks like you’re going out with your man.”
She nodded. “Dinner, but I wanted to drop off the cake.”
“Mission accomplished.” Hope shooed her friend toward the door. “Go have fun. I’ll get back to work.”
As Paula let herself out, Hope squeezed blue paint from the tube and added a dollop of white. The resulting color was a stunning blue.
Like Josh’s eyes.
The thought didn’t sting. If anything, it comforted her. As would the cake samples after dinner.
Dipping her brush into the paint, she kept thinking of him. Every line and curve of his face was etched into her brain. Her fingers itched for a pencil and a canvas—in a way they hadn’t in two years. She wanted to draw Josh. Paint him.
And would.
“Sis?”
That sounded like Von, but he was working in Charleston. Wasn’t he?
As if waking from a trance, Hope blinked. Once. Twice…
She was standing in front of a piece of paper on an easel with a paintbrush in her hand. The paper wasn’t blank.
Von hugged her from behind. “You’re painting.”
Staring at the watercolor seascape, Hope leaned back against her brother’s chest. Tall, blowing grass surrounded a cherry-red cottage. A football lay hidden in the grass, bottles were half buried in the sand, and a man faced the ocean.
“I don’t know what happened.” Hope had no idea how long she’d been working. “I was painting wedding favors, and then I wanted to…try.”
“You did more than try.” Von squeezed her. “You finished, and it’s incredible.”
“Thanks.” And she knew the reason why. Tears stung her eyes.
Josh.
This watercolor was his journey. The man with his back to her was him, and he’d passed all the things he’d left behind. All except…
And then she saw it.
A heart-shaped ornament from Jenny and Dare’s wedding hidden toward the back. Hope was there, along with his football career and alcohol.
“You’re going to get through this.” Von let go of her, moving around to study the canvas. “You’ll be okay.”
“I know.” And Hope did.
Josh Cooper had not only opened her heart to love, but also inspired her to paint. Something she never thought she’d be able to do again.
Thank you.
Working on this painting—albeit in a daze—was giving her something else, something unexpected.
This work had eased the dull ache in her heart. Her breath flowed easier. Her muscles loosened.
Somehow, her subconscious had used Josh as inspiration to open her up again.
“I need to go shopping. Have to buy supplies. I’m ready to paint again.”
Von grinned. “Everything that wasn’t destroyed from your studio in New York is in boxes in the garage, though some of it may be bad by now.”
“You kept the stuff?”
Affection and pride shone in his gaze. “You believed you’d never paint again, but I knew you would.”
Maybe twins did have a different kind of connection. “Thanks.”
“You’d have done the same for me.”
She could never repay Von for all he’d done for her. Not that he wanted anything, but she hoped she would one day get the chance to return the favor. “Love you.”
“Love you, sis.”
Hope stared at the painting with pride. She’d given up her power to Adam, including her power to paint, but thanks to Josh, she was taking it back.
All of it.
Being able to finish this painting meant everything to her, but it wasn’t hers to keep or sell. The watercolor belonged to Josh. They’d agreed not to contact each other, but she’d find a way to deliver it to him. That was the least she could do after all he’d given to her.
* * *
“Welcome back.” In Jenny’s living room, Josh hugged her and shook Dare’s hand. “How was the honeymoon?”
“Amazing.” Jenny’s normally pale skin glowed with a golden tan. “The resort is all-inclusive. We were spoiled. It was a magical time.”
Nodding, Dare slipped his arm around his wife. A fluffy white cat wove between his feet, rubbing against his leg “It was my first time in the Caribbean, but I’d go back in a heartbeat.”
Jenny smiled at Dare. “Now that you’re out of the army, we’ll have plenty of time to travel.”
“In between your book deadlines, you mean,” Dare joked.
Josh laughed. “You’re officially a civilian?”
Dare nodded. “We stopped off in Columbus to finish up the paperwork and have my things shipped. Never thought I’d be happy with a medical discharge, but things didn’t heal right after the accident. I’m not able to go back into the field again.”
“I understand.”
“Sorry, dude.” Dare’s gaze darkened. “I forgot you, of all people, would know.”
Josh nodded.
“Your twelve months has passed, right?” Jenny thankfully changed the subject.
“Yes.” He pulled out his coin. “I finally got this.”
“We have something else for you.” Jenny pulled out a large, flat box tied with a blue ribbon. “Here you go.”
Josh stared at the package. “Thanks.”
“Aren’t you going to open it?” Jenny asked.
Dare shook his head. “That means you should open the gift now or she might.”
That made Josh laugh. These two were meant to be together. After pushing off the ribbon, he removed the lid to find white tissue paper. He pulled back the first piece, and then the second.
A matted watercolor painting was inside.
As he peered closer, his pulse raced. In the corner were the initials HR. Hope Ryan? He hadn’t spoken to her or stalked her on social media. Once they’d said goodbye, he’d cut her out of his life—deleting her old texts and photos of her from their day sightseeing—to focus on his recovery as she’d wanted him to do and as he’d needed to do.
He’d never seen a watercolor of hers, but… “Where did you get this?”
“Indigo Bay.”
He struggled to breathe. “Is it from—”
Jenny held her hands up, stopping him. “It’s to mark your twelve months. That’s all I can say.”
“Sorry, dude,” Dare said. “I knew nothing about this, but trust me. If that’s all Jenny can say, nothing will drag more out of her.”
“Fine.” Josh wouldn’t put Jenny on the spot. “I’ll let it go, but thank you.”
Dare pointed near the bottom of the painting. “Hey, look at the football.”
Tall grass on the dunes hid the ball. Josh’s gaze followed the footprints in the sand leading to half-buried bottles. His breath caught, but he kept following the prints until he came to a heart-shaped ornament. He dragged his gaze back to the footprints of the lone figure, a man who wore clothes like his own, facing the water. Far off on the horizon was a plane—his jet—flying off into the sunset.
He felt a pang in his heart.
All the things he’d left behind—football, alcohol, Hope—on the way to his future. Talk about bittersweet, but he would cherish this forever.
Wait a minute. He studied the watercolor. This picture meant Hope was painting again.
Finally.
His eyes stung. His vision blurred.
Jenny touched his shoulder. “You okay?”
Knowing whatever he said would come out a garbled mess, he nodded.
“You’ll need a frame for it,” Jenny said. “Sal at the gallery can help you with that.”
Another nod.
Jenny sighed. “It’s a lovely painting.”
“You deserve it,” Dare said.
Josh didn’t, but he was working hard to be the man who would someday.
“Thanks.” He got the word out without embarrassing himself, so he kept going. “It’s great seeing you. I want to hear more about your honeymoon, but I have to go now.”
Jenny smiled. “We can meet for cupcakes later in the week.”
He put the lid on the box before picking it up. “Text me when you and Dare are free, and we’ll make it happen.”
As Josh headed to his car, he tried not to clutch the box to his chest.
Hope.
She’d said she didn’t hate him, and this watercolor was proof of that. He was overcome with a sense of gratitude and giddiness. A way he wasn’t used to feeling.
Josh laughed, liking the sound and himself.
She had the perfect name because that was what she’d given him. Back in Indigo Bay and today.
He just had to figure out what to do next.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“The exhibition game isn’t until this weekend.” The concern in his mother’s voice matched her gaze, but Josh wasn’t about to feel guilty. Not this time. “There’s no reason for you to fly out early, honey,” she added.
Josh understood why his parents and siblings worried about every decision he made given his past mistakes, but this was something he had to do. “I’m not going to Atlanta right away.”
Her laugh lines deepened with her confusion. “Where are you going?”
“Indigo Bay.” He wouldn’t lie. “I spoke with Dr. Kettering during our last session. She agreed I needed to speak with Hope.”
His therapist had offered to roleplay what he wanted to say, but he’d said no to that because he wasn’t sure yet. Instead, Dr. Kettering had asked him one question after another until his head wanted to explode.
What if she doesn’t want to talk to you?
A few people hadn’t when I was in the amends portion of recovery, but that never made me want to drink.
What if she’s moved on?
If she’s moved on and is happy, I’ll be okay with that. Will I be disappointed and hurt? Yes, but I’m the one who left. We agreed not to contact each other, but that was for my benefit, not hers. I could’ve called her after I hit my twelve-month mark, but I chose not to.
Do you feel bad about not contacting her?
No, because I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.
But you are now?
Yes. I didn’t trust myself before, but I’m doing better. No matter what happens, I feel strong enough to get through it without needing a drink. Or ten.
“A lot can change in two months,” his mother said.
Josh had changed. For the better. He still had a long way to go, but he was making his own decisions and trusting the outcome. “I have no expectations. I’ll be okay.”
His mom hugged him. “I hope so. This will either be the closure you need or a new beginning. Either way, it’s another step toward healing.”
* * *
The next morning, Josh saved a list of meeting times in the Indigo Bay area on his phone, filed a flight plan to Charleston, and then took off.
He had hours on his own to figure out what he wanted to say. “Plenty of time.”
/> Or so he thought.
Now that he was sitting outside Hope’s house with the rental car’s air conditioning blasting—August was hotter than June had been—he still hadn’t a clue, but he had a vague idea and something to give her that he’d bought two weeks ago in New York if their talk went well. He pulled the key from the ignition, walked to the front porch, and knocked.
What they’d shared during those few days in June had been more than a moment in time never to be repeated. Josh hoped she agreed because the memories would never be enough for him.
The door opened. Von squared his shoulders. “What are you doing here?”
Josh had a sense of déjà vu from when he’d visited Jenny in May. That had gone better than he expected. Maybe this would, too. “I want to see Hope.”
Von’s hard gaze pinned Josh. Hope’s brother might be shorter and weigh less, but he didn’t back down. He centered himself in the doorway, blocking the way.
“Does Hope know you’re coming?” Von asked.
“No.” Josh dragged his hand through his hair. “I… I need to see her again. Please.”
“Are you sober?”
“Yes.” The word burst from Josh’s mouth. The good days outnumbered the bad ones by far. He was back at work. But something was missing, and he’d finally figured out what that was. “I received my twelve-month coin in July, but I wasn’t ready to come then. She sent me a painting, but I needed more time. Is she doing well?”
“Yes.”
Josh breathed a sigh of relief.
“Hope’s been painting for the past month.” Von sounded hesitant like he wasn’t sure what to say to Josh. “Watercolors and a few oils. It’s a good start.”
Not good. Amazing. “She must be happy.”
Nodding, Von held onto each side of the doorway. His expression was torn. Josh could tell he wasn’t sure what to do. “I’m not trying to be a jerk, but not painting these past two years messed her up. She needs that outlet in a way other people need water and air. Now that she’s found her art again, I don’t want anything to screw it up.”
Anything equaled Josh.
“I won’t. I never wanted to hurt Hope. I’m sorry I did, but if it’s any consolation, saying goodbye hurt me, too.” His pulse raced like he was doing a two-minute drill with a playoff berth on the line. “I didn’t leave only for myself. I left to protect her. She deserves a future she can trust, and I didn’t think I could provide that for her then.”
Sweet Beginnings Page 15
