by Dziekan, PJ
“What are you doing out here?” Ryan asked when he saw her.
“Looking for you guys,” she said with ease. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
“Good,” April said with a smile. “All this walking has made me hungry.”
Sarah smiled at April. “You guys see anything?”
“No, nothing,” April answered. “Just the way we like it.” She peered at Sarah’s pale face. “Are you OK?”
“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Sarah said. “Just tired.” She managed a smile. “And hungry. Let’s go.” She headed down the trail, the weight of her backpack much, much heavier than it was when she started.
CHAPTER TWO
“I’m pregnant.” Sarah didn’t look at him, just stared out across the lake.
Mick expected a nice walk after dinner, maybe a little fishing, but not this. “What?” He froze, the fishing pole forgotten in his hand. He stared at Sarah.
“I’m pregnant,” she repeated. She thought she would feel better, saying the words. She didn’t.
“How?” He asked, not thinking. Sarah looked at him. He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, we were using condoms.”
“Yeah, we were.” Her voice was almost inaudible.
Mick dropped the fishing pole. “Sarah…” He began but didn’t know how to finish. He was happy, scared, excited, worried. Yet he couldn’t read Sarah. What was she feeling? He walked two steps and took her into his arms. Stiff at first, she relaxed into his embrace. “Guess I should have checked the expiration date on those condoms,” he quipped.
Sarah pulled out of his arms. “Mick, this is serious.” Now he could see the fear and worry on her face.
“I know it’s serious, Sarah.” His hand touched her cheek. “It’s also great.”
“How can you say that?’ Sarah wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself.
“Because it is.” Mick smiled. “It’s new life, new hope.”
“It’s bringing a child into a world where we don’t know what’s happening next,” Sarah countered.
“Anytime anyone has a baby, no one knows what’s happening next. That’s nothing new, babe.”
Sarah shook her head. “It’s dangerous. It’s reckless. It’s—it’s….” She trailed off, swallowing back tears.
“Sarah,” Mick said softly, his hands on her shoulders. “It’s wonderful.”
She bit her lip, looking away from him. “I’m scared, Mick.”
He put his finger under her chin, turned her face to his. “I am, too,” he admitted. “But we’re together. We have each other. We’ll get through this.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips. “We’ll get through this.”
He wrapped his arms around her. Sarah rested her head on his chest. She was silent, breathing, his scent calming her. She sighed deeply then said, “I don’t want them to know.”
Mick pulled back to look at her. “What? Why?”
Sarah looked up at him. “I don’t want them treating me any different.”
“Things are different now.”
“I know, but they can stay the same for now.” She sighed. “I don’t want to rub it in anyone’s face, you know?”
“Ryan?” Mick asked. “You don’t have to worry about him. He understands. Besides, he’s taken a shine to April.”
Sarah laughed. “Then he’s doomed to disappointment.”
“What do you mean?”
“April’s gay.”
Mick cocked his head as he looked down at her. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
He shook his head. “Damn, how did I miss that?”
“Because guys only see what they want to see,” Sarah said with a smile. “You see a pretty girl and you think ‘Ooh, shiny. Wonder how she’ll look on my arm?’”
“That’s not what I thought when I saw you,” he said.
“No, you thought, ‘don’t bite me before I sink this knife into your skull!’”
“You’ll never let me forget that, will you?”
“Nope.” She rested her head on his chest again.
Mick rubbed her back. “Are you OK?”
He felt her nod against his chest. “I have to be.”
“Sarah, I…” He stopped. He loved her; he knew he did. And he thought she loved him, too. But they never said the words. He didn’t think this was the best time.
“What, Mick?”
“I—I think we’ll be fine.”
She hugged him tighter. “I hope so.”
♦
The kids were sleeping, the adults gathered in the large living room. “Supplies aren’t dangerously low yet, but we need to start stockpiling more,” Ryan said.
“The towns around here are pretty depleted,” Sarah said. “We’re going to have to range further out.”
“What about the garden?” Becca asked. “I know it won’t start producing for another couple months, but are we that bad off?”
“No, we’re not. But we don’t want to be either.” Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “We need to do a thorough inventory. We can’t guarantee we’ll find exactly what we need, but at least we’ll know what to look for.”
“I know we’re low on flour,” Julianne said.
“That might be hard to come by,” Mick said.
“Probably,” Ryan agreed. “But put it on the list anyway.”
Sarah thought of what she would need in the future. Crib, diapers, baby clothes. She shook her head. There was no way she was putting any of that on a list.
“What, Sarah?” Ryan asked.
“Nothing, just thinking about what’s still out there.”
“You mean zombies or supplies?” Becca asked.
“Both.”
Ryan looked around the group. “Here’s the tricky part. I think we need to take an extended trip, a couple days at least.”
“Is that wise?” April asked.
“With the surrounding towns depleted, we don’t have much choice,” Ryan responded.
Sarah said. “If we stay out a little longer, go a little farther, we can bring back more stuff.”
“You can only get as much as you can fit in your Jeep,” Dylan commented. “What’s the point then?”
“I thought about taking two vehicles, but we don’t have a reliable way to stay in contact,” Ryan said. “There’s one of those clamshell luggage carriers in the barn, we can take that.”
“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” April shifted on her seat.
Ryan shrugged. “A week? Maybe two?”
“What if something happens while you’re gone?” April asked. “If we need to evacuate, we’ll never fit in one vehicle.”
“We’ll head into town and pick up another Jeep.”
“When are we leaving?” Sarah asked. Mick turned to stare at her. She ignored him.
“You’re not going,” Ryan said. When Sarah started to protest, he spoke over her. “You, Mick or Dylan have been on just about every supply run we’ve done since it stopped snowing. You guys need a break.”
“Who’s going, then?” Sarah asked. Secretly, she was relieved. She really didn’t want to take an extended trip. She was tired. She wanted to rest.
“I was thinking Jack.” Ryan looked at him. Jack tried not to, but he smiled anyway.
“And?” Sarah asked.
“Just me and Jack.”
“Why? That doesn’t make sense. Especially if you’re talking about an extended trip.”
“Sarah, you, Mick and Dylan are out. You all need a break. Becca is still too weak, so she’s out. April is our only medical personnel, so she’s out. Dominic, no offense, but I don’t think you’d be quick enough.”
“None taken,” the soft-spoken former teacher said. He wasn’t eager to head back out there, either.
“That leaves Julianne.” He didn’t have to say another word. Julianne still had not accepted the world was different. After the carnage at the elementary school, something snapped in her and they weren’t sure if it was coming back.
“I’d love to go shopping!” She exclaimed. “It’s been ages.”
“Uh—there probably won’t be room, Jules,” Becca said. “Maybe next time.”
“Oh, OK.” She smiled at the group.
After a moment, Sarah said, “Maybe you should wait a bit, then, until one of us can go with you.”
Ryan shook his head. “It’ll be fine, Sarah. It’s been pretty dead out there; you guys have said so yourselves.” Ryan winced. “Shit, I didn’t mean…” He trailed off to the sounds of laughter.
“We did see a fresh one on today’s run,” Mick said to his brother, once they stopped laughing.
“But only one, right?” He shook his head. “We’ll be fine. Besides, with only two of us, the back will be completely open, so we’ll be able to pack a lot of shit in.” He turned to Jack. “Inventory tomorrow and get another vehicle. We’ll head out the day after.”
“Sure!” Jack was eager to get back to the outside. He knew he would have to fight, kill, and it bothered him still. But he was looking forward to a break in the same old routine.
The group broke up soon after that, everyone heading to their respective bedrooms. They no longer kept watch during the night, trusting the battery-operated sensors that Dylan and Ryan had rigged to alert them of any intruders, alive or otherwise. So far, they had only gone off once, when a large buck wandered into the camp. Venison would have made a nice change from canned meat had the blaring alarms not scared it away. Dylan did get one a week or so later. Everyone helped in the butchering of the animal. Becca lost her appetite for two days.
Mick and Sarah lay in bed, Mick pressed against Sarah’s back. His arm was around her, his hand resting on her belly. His child was inside there. His child. “Are you feeling OK?” He whispered.
“I’m fine,” she said. But she wasn’t. Her mind, her body, her heart were all in turmoil. Her mind told her it was stupid to bring a baby into this world, not to mention dangerous. Dangerous for her, dangerous for the people around her. How fast could she move carrying an extra fifty pounds? What if the baby cried at the wrong time? What if the baby killed her during delivery? What if the baby was sickly, needed medical help? What if, what if, what if?
Her body never failed to remind her that things were different. She was tired, oh so tired. And almost constantly nauseated. Her body hurt in weird places. She hoped it would change. She was not looking forward to seven more months of nausea and cramps in odd places.
Her heart filled with love for the baby, something she never quite believed she would have, yet by some miracle, here it was. A child conceived in love. Yes, she loved Mick. With everything she had. She was not good at expressing herself and now was not the time. But if there was one thing to be thankful for because of the zombie apocalypse, it was Mick. She probably never would have met him. Never would have talked to him. Never would have fallen in love with him.
She sighed, shifting position. Mick murmured something in his sleep, his hand moving spasmodically on her belly. She sighed again. They would get through it. Somehow.
♦
With the exception of Ryan and Mick, everyone worked on the inventory of supplies. Elizabeth and Mikey were even involved as part of their daily lessons. Every item in the house, shed, barn and basement needed to be catalogued, from clothing to bedding to food. They had done so when they first moved in, but after so many scavenging trips, no one was actually sure what they had and what they needed.
Becca and Sarah were in the big shed by the garage where they kept most of the food. Sarah was dragging despite the extra sleep she had the night before. She did her best to hide her fatigue, but Becca had a keen eye. “Are you OK?” She asked as they shifted cans of fruit.
“I’m fine,” Sarah said with a smile. “Just a little tired.”
“Mick keeping you up?”
Sarah laughed. “Yeah, he is.” She counted what remained of a case of peas and wrote it on her notepad.
Becca sighed. “You’re so lucky. You have someone.” She shook her head. “What are the chances that I’ll find someone?”
Sarah didn’t know what to say. “We –uh—we could meet up with another group.”
Becca snorted. “Doubtful. We don’t leave here; we don’t invite people in, even if we’d find any.”
“What about Dominic?”
Becca shook her head. “There’s nothing there.”
“Ryan?”
“Too much like a brother.”
“Jack?”
Becca smiled. “Too much like a little brother.”
“Dylan?” Sarah asked with a laugh.
“Are you kidding me?” Becca laughed. “You know, in the beginning, I thought you and Ryan were an item.”
“Maybe in a different world we are,” Sarah said, shrugging. “It just didn’t work out that way.”
Becca sighed as she moved a case of beets. “I wish we were in a different world right now.”
Sarah thought of the life she carried inside her. “Me, too.”
♦
Mick and Ryan took one of the Jeeps into the nearest town. It had been picked clean over the past six months, even the gasoline siphoned from the vehicles. They carried a five gallon can of gas in hopes that they would find a usable vehicle.
“What about that one?” Mick asked, pointing to a late model Ford Explorer.
Ryan shrugged. “Let’s check it out.” He parked next to the black vehicle and shut the Jeep off. The guys got out, walking to the driver side door, which stood open. The driver’s seat was covered in dried gore. “I don’t think so,” Ryan said, turning away from the vehicle.
“Pick-up truck?” Mick asked.
“I’d prefer an SUV, but I guess a truck will do if we don’t find one.” Ryan looked around. “There’s a Jimmy a little further down the street.”
Mick made a face. “A Chevy?”
Ryan laughed. “Even at the end of the world, you still hate Chevys?”
“Sue me.” Mick looked around the streets, seeing another Explorer a block away. “C’mon,” he said to his brother.
They walked to the Explorer, which was worse than the first. Blood and gore covered both front seats, splattered the windshield. “Shit!” Ryan exclaimed.
“Let’s go a little further,” Mick said. “We’ll find something.”
They walked back to the Jeep and got in, Ryan starting the vehicle before Mick fastened his seat belt. “You have something on your mind, Mick?” Ryan asked as they pulled out.
Mick started. “Uh, well, yeah.” Mick couldn’t tell him what was really troubling him. So, he would go with the other thing. “Is it really smart to go out with just one other person?”
“Two can move faster,” Ryan said. “Besides, there’s no one else to go.”
“Me.” Mick didn’t mean to volunteer but his mouth opened and the word just tumbled out.
Ryan shook his head. “You need a break. You and Sarah have been on nearly every run, Mick. You both look like shit.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Ryan laughed. “You know what I mean. We’ll be fine. Be gone a week or so.” He stopped the Jeep. “Here’s another Explorer.”
“Was there only a Ford dealership around here or what?” Mick asked as he got out of the Jeep.
The Explorer was clean, no blood, no gore, but it sat on two flat tires. “Shit!” Ryan exclaimed, smacking the side.
“Maybe there is a dealership,” Mick said. “That would be the perfect place to get a good vehicle. Brand new, with keys.”
“Can’t hurt, I guess.” They got back into the Jeep and went looking.
“How’s Sarah doing?” Ryan asked as they were cruising around the wrecks in the road.
Mick’s eyes snapped to Ryan’s face. Did he know? No, his face was steady, his eyes on the road. “She’s fine.”
“Yeah?” Ryan’s eyes cut to Mick, then back to the road. “She was looking tired last night.”
Mick shrugged and looked out the window. “
We’ve been doing a lot of runs,” he said. “I’m glad you decided against her going along.”
“You, too?”
Mick smiled. “Yeah, me, too. I’m fucking beat.”
They found the dealership ten minutes later. A Ford dealership, as Mick had suspected. The new cars and trucks, usually shiny and sparkling, were covered with a layer of dust, looking like relics of a past age. Mick supposed they were now, or they soon would be once the fuel was gone.
Ryan pulled up in front of the glass windows, one broken with blood smeared on the glass. “Think it’s clear?” He asked.
“Won’t know until we go in.” Mick grabbed his bat from the wheel well. The wood was smeared with blood and gore, but Mick preferred it over any other weapon. Hefting it in his hand, he got out of the Jeep and waited for Ryan.
Ryan had his tire iron. He had to get a little closer than Mick, but it was easier to swing. He held the metal loosely, but ready. He looped the cord of his flashlight around his other wrist, got out of the Jeep and looked at his brother. “Let’s go.”
They walked carefully through the shattered window, glass crunching underfoot. There were two sedans inside the showroom, one with a streak of blood down the quarter panel. The guys moved slowly across the floor, heading to the closed office in the back. They were hoping to find the rack that held the keys for the lot full of vehicles. They were hoping not to find anything else.
Ryan put his hand on the knob and waited for Mick to get into position. When Mick nodded, Ryan turned the knob and pushed the door open, stepping back from the doorway. The room was dark; the only light that which filtered in through the open doorway. With a flick of his wrist, Ryan had the flashlight in his hand, his thumb hitting the on switch.
The light bounced around the room, illuminating a chair here, the wall there, a closed door over there. It never lit upon the creature crawling along the floor until Mick heard the pitiful groan. “Down there!” He exclaimed.
Ryan swung the light down. The zombie was pulling itself along with what was left of its arms. Its hands and wrists gone, shreds of skin and bones all that was left. Its mouth gaped inches from Ryan’s boot. “Jesus!” Mick muttered. He brought his foot down, crushing the rotted skull beneath his boot.
