by Eden Beck
“You’re going to break in.”
Shock registers through me like an earthquake. “What?” I ask in total disbelief.
“And then,” he continues, “once you’re inside, you’re going to find an argand lamp, and you’re going to bring it back out with you.”
I have no idea what an argand lamp is, but I don’t want to say that in front of the group. They probably all know, and the last thing I want to do is look like an idiot. I know I’m already an idiot for even being there in the first place. I remind myself to pretend to be Sadie. What would Sadie say?
“You want me to break into a lighthouse and steal a lamp? That’s your idea of a fun night?” I give him a dour look and cross my arms over my chest as if he’s trying my patience yet again, and he’s just told me the most childish thing ever.
I’m praying that my tactic works, and he backs off.
No such luck. Astor only chuckles and removes his arm from me.
“If you want in then, yeah. That’s your ticket. It sounds like a fun night to me. Just don’t get caught.”
Victoria tugs on my arm. “Oh come on, it’s either comply or commit social suicide darling. And you don’t want to know where that’ll take you.”
Alisha breaks her lips away from her boy toy and takes a second to re-apply some sticky purple lip gloss. “Just don’t go looking for any good jobs out of college,” she says with a laugh that can only be described as a cackle, “Because we aren’t the forgiving type. And if you’ve heard rumors about a blacklist … they’re true.”
“Blacklist?” I look from Alisha to Victoria, and then finally over at Astor.
There’s a dark spark in his eye. “I don’t think I have to explain to you what that means, do I?”
Of course I know what a blacklist is. I re-evaluate the people standing around me. These are the heirs to some of the biggest fortunes, biggest companies, in this country if not the world. Now that they know my name I have so much to gain, so many opportunities … and also, as they’ve so kindly pointed out, so much to lose.
Reality is crashing over me just like the waves on the rocks under our feet.
Even if this supposed ‘blacklist’ isn’t real … who’s to say the couldn’t ruin any chances at a career in the future. And college. There’s no telling how far the sway of these families may reach.
Maybe these losers think I need to prove myself to them or something, but no matter how stupid it may be, there’s no way around it. I try to justify it to myself somehow because I know it’s the way it’s going to be. I’m already here, on the beach. I’ve already followed them up to the lighthouse after all.
It’s only a lamp. How hard could it be to go in and find a lamp and take it out? It’ll be so fast. I can do it. I just wonder what the hell any of us are going to do with a lamp.
Well, I’m not about to do this sober. I snatch the wine bottle from Astor and take a pull of my own.
“Fine.” I say, wiping my face with the back of my hand. Everyone around me cheers except Astor and Wills, who just laugh darkly.
Astor slips off his coat and tosses it at me. “Put this on. I can hear your teeth chattering from here.”
Reluctantly, I slide into his coat. It’s so warm, and it smells like him. This must be what it’s like to feel a hug from him. I push it away the moment the thought crosses my mind. But it’s too late. The effect is already there. My body warms from the inside, and it isn’t entirely because of the wine.
There Astor goes again, some odd mixture of torment and kindness that I don’t understand. If he’s trying to confuse me, then he’s doing a good job.
“I just hope the lighthouse keeper isn’t home,” I mumble and start toward the lighthouse just as Wills and Astor roar with laughter. I know there’s something they’re not telling me, and the fact that Blair didn’t laugh too makes me a little worried. I guess I’m just going to have to find out for myself.
I crawl over rocks and dunes until I finally come to the door. I know there isn’t much hope of it being unlocked, but I have to try it just in case. No luck, of course.
The group is watching on from down the beach. I can just make them out faintly in the moonlight. There’s window near the door, but it’s locked too. There’s only going to be one way to do it.
It isn’t the first time I’ve broken a window, but it somehow seems worse this time. I’m supposed to be leaving my old life behind, not starting it all back up again. I hate this. The sound of shattering glass cuts at my soul.
This is not what I wanted my life to be like at this school.
Victoria’s words resonate in my head as my heart pounds like a sledgehammer against the inner wall of my chest. I have to do this. I reach into the broken window and unlock it, and then slide the window open enough that I can climb in.
I pause at the sill listen for the sounds of anyone in the tower, but it’s silent. It’s eerie and creepy, and it isn’t long before I’ve managed to scare myself with ‘what if’ scenarios. I make sure to clear any glass fragments from the sill before I hoist myself up and inside.
It’s dark and musty, the small circular building lit only by the pale moonlight filtering in behind me. Several boxes and crates have been stacked to one side, but aside from that and the creaking metal staircase spiraling upwards—it’s empty.
The first thing I do is check to see if I can unlock the door from inside, and I can. At least I won’t have to do anymore window climbing.
There’s no lamp in sight, so I start opening and rifling through the boxes. The first two are empty of anything other than straw, but as soon as I open the third I look down at what can only be the argand lamp.
It looks old; really old—the kind of old that makes worthless things valuable again. I know if I get caught, there’s going to be hell to pay.
I curse Astor under my breath and pick up the lamp. It’s heavy; made of iron and brass, and topped with a glass cover that’s ancient as well. I pray that nothing happens to it.
I need to get out of here as fast as I can. I cradle the lamp against my chest and head for the exit, when I happen to notice something I hadn’t seen before. There’s a red circle of light up in the corner of the wall, just over the door. I know what it is right away, and curse myself.
I really am out of practice.
It’s an infrared camera. I close my eyes and duck my head down, hoping that it somehow didn’t catch my face. Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’s as forgotten as the rest of this place. With all the speed I can muster without endangering the old lamp, I sneak out of the door and close it behind me.
I don’t know how I got down the dunes and rocks so fast, but before I know it, I’m thrusting the lamp into Astor’s hands. He laughs and pushes it back into mine.
“Oh no, Sadie. That lamp is your responsibility. Now, you’ve seen the pedestal where they put the flower arrangements in the main hall, right?”
“Yes,” I say, not liking where this is headed one bit.
He nods. “That’s right. That’s where you’re going to put the lamp.”
I hate him. I actually, truly, completely hate him.
He laughs again. “Don’t drop it on the way back.”
Victoria is cheering me on, clearly drunk, and the holy trinity are eyeing me with interest. All of them. I walk away from the lighthouse with the old lamp clutched so close to me that I know it’s going to leave marks on my skin.
The lights have all gone out in the dorms. Now I really know I should have stayed in with Dana. I’m afraid I’ve started something in motion that doesn’t end tonight.
Once back at the school, I wait until I’m sure the main foyer is empty and hurry to the pedestal. I have to move the flowers away in order to place the lamp, but there isn’t any other surface to place the vase. I’m looking for the best replacement spot when I hear the sound of a door opening down the hall. I panic and leave the flowers on the edge of the secretary’s desk and flee as fast as my feet will carry me.
&n
bsp; I don’t go back down to the beaches. I won’t give them the opportunity to give me another of these ‘tasks’.
I run all the way up to the third floor and all the way down the hall to the last door on the left. When I reach it, I slam it behind me, resting my back on it for a moment before sliding down it to the floor. I can’t tell if I want to scream or cry, so I do neither. I just bang the back of my head against the door.
Have I mentioned how much I hate Astor, Wills, and Blair? If not, here it is. I hate them.
Dana sits up in bed and flips on the little lamp on her bedside table.
Shit. No wonder. I forgot she was here too, and now I’ve woken her up.
“You okay?” she asks, rubbing her eyes and peering into the darkness at me.
I have no idea. Am I okay?
“Yes and no.”
“Can I help you with anything?” she asks gently.
I half-laugh. “Can you kill me now?” I plead weakly.
“No.”
Then there’s nothing either of us can do.
Chapter 10
The school is buzzing with news about the argand lamp by the next morning. Students are excited and teachers are furious. I don’t understand why until I overhear that the lamp wasn’t the full extent of the damage—someone smashed the vase of flowers over the secretary’s desk and the water completely fried her computer and destroyed some of the student records.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I must’ve put it too close to the edge of the counter when I ran off. Now what was supposed to be a mostly harmless prank has turned into something more.
I do my best to keep my head down and avoid any more trouble, but it doesn’t last long.
As soon as class starts, the principal addresses the entire school over the intercom and makes sure none of us are going to be forgetting the whole thing any time soon. I catch Blair looking in on my English class during the announcement, and he’s losing it. Astor just barely smiles, but for him … that’s basically the same thing.
I don’t pray, but I find myself pleading with whoever runs the universe that somehow I won’t be caught. Something has to go right, doesn’t it?
I do my best to stay out of everyone’s way all morning, but at some point all my books go missing. They eventually turn up much later that afternoon when I’m approached by Mr. Davis who’s carrying them. I eye him curiously.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for those! Where were they?” I ask as I take them off his hands.
He grimaces. “They were in the boy’s bathroom on the fifth floor.”
I sigh. Great. I’d never have found them there.
“Thanks,” I say. He looks at me sympathetically.
“They’re hazing you. You’re new. It will stop in time,” he tries to reassure me.
It doesn’t work. I don’t feel reassured … I feel bitter and angry. It doesn’t help that Mr. Davis reminds me of tonight’s detention before leaving me with an armload of the stolen books. I’m not really sure of the message he’s trying to send here.
How am I supposed to succeed in school with these jerks stealing my essays, hiding my books in boy’s bathrooms, making me steal ancient things and commit a crime like breaking and entering … if the teachers all know about it and aren’t going to do anything.
I almost feel like it’s not worth it, but then I remember where I came from. I can’t go back. An opportunity like this doesn’t come around more than once in a lifetime. Hell, it isn’t guaranteed come around in every lifetime. Anything I have to put up with at this school is actually going to be worth it because it’s going to ensure a solid future for me. If it doesn’t kill me first.
I avoid lunch altogether and sit with Dana at dinner in the hopes that it will keep Victoria away, and it works. At least I can relax around my roommate. It isn’t lost on me how lucky I really am that we got paired up. It takes her all of two seconds to know something is wrong, and though I swore to keep her out of it, I end up telling her the whole thing just to make her shut up.
She shakes her head. “I told you to watch out for that group. They’re bloodthirsty.”
“I know,” I say, and it’s my turn to want to flop out on the grass in utter denial … but I don’t because the last thing I want is for one of the boys to walk by and think I’m defeated. I already skipped sailing class to avoid Wills, but I can’t keep this up forever.
I promise Dana I’ll do my best, but I don’t really believe myself. Even if I wanted to stay away … I don’t think the boys will let me. At least … not until they’re finished with me. They are the cats and I’m the mouse. Right now they’re circling, toying with me, but eventually they’ll grow bored—and either leave me alone, or eat me.
I have detention tonight thanks to Blair, so I leave Dana to finish eating and head back out across the quad towards class. I’m about halfway across, my mind wandering to the events of the weekend, when Astor steps out from behind one of the big old trees and stands directly in front of me. He slides his hands into his pockets and his eyes move slowly over my face. He has a curious look about him, and it makes me wary. It’s something I haven’t seen in him before.
“I thought I told you to stay out of my way,” he says, though it doesn’t carry any of his usual disdain. It’s quiet, calculating.
I scowl at him. “Just let me by.”
I try to step around him, but he just steps up to block my path. After everything, all the abuse, the stolen books and papers, the lighthouse … I just snap.
My feet plant firmly on the grass, and I glare up at him with all the force I can muster. “What is it you want, Astor Hawthorne? Don’t you think you’ve done enough already?”
I couldn’t help it. That’s all Teddy and not one little bit of Sadie. I’m not sorry one bit.
He only cocks his eyebrow slightly and tilts his head as if he’s thinking about something and didn’t hear a single word I just shouted at him.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks out of the blue.
I blanch and stare up at him. I can’t believe he just asked me that. I know that I must have heard him wrong, because that is the absolute last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.
“What?” I ask, knowing that I have to have misunderstood him.
He takes a step towards me and keeps his eyes locked on mine. I feel tethered to him, unable to get away.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he repeats himself. “It’s a simple question.”
I’m astounded. I have no idea why he’s asking, and I know I don’t trust him at all.
“That’s none of your business,” I answer shortly, and storm off. I make sure to clip him with my shoulder on my way, just to get back at him a bit. He says nothing, and I scowl all the way to the stairs at the edge of the quad that lead inside the building. I don’t look back until I reach them, but when I do Astor is still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching me.
Blair isn’t in detention, but that’s no matter to me. The longer I can stay away from him and the others, the better. Mr. Davis seems a little put off, but he still makes me clean all the whiteboards and organize the textbooks he has stacked along the outer walls. I try to shut all other thoughts out of my head, but Astor’s sudden odd behavior keeps wheedling its way back into my thoughts.
New gossip seems to have taken over by the next morning, so I start to let my guard down a little until Astor gives me the usual, cold stare when I walk into English Lit. There’s no sign of his slip up yesterday, which only makes my mind turn over faster. This has to just be another one of his games, but I can’t think of what it could be.
The thought stays nagging in the back of my mind until I’m in math class some time later. I’m spacing out, my eyes trained on the last of the bees buzzing outside the window when my thoughts are rudely interrupted by the sound of my own name.
“Sadie!”
It takes me a second to register that it’s me, I’m Sadie. I straighten up, just realizing now that I might have started
to doze off a little with my head resting in the crook of my arm.
The teacher is standing over my desk. He picks up my packet of worksheets and starts flipping through it.
“Ah, I see you’ve gotten a little ahead of yourself,” he says, turning over more of the pages. That’s an understatement. The packet he gave us was supposed to cover the rest of the semester, and I’ve already finished most of it. He squints at one of the pages, and looks back up at me with a look of pleasant surprise spreading over his face. It’s an odd look for a teacher who I’ve never seen do anything but glower. “I see you must’ve studied over the summer. Good work.”
“Teacher’s pet,” Wills says, poorly disguised as a cough.
The teacher glares at him and slaps the papers back down on my desk.
“You could take a page out of Miss White’s book here, Mr. Stryker.” He looks at me for a moment, and then claps his hands. “Sadie is going to help you. You can’t seem to keep your mind on the numbers, and she can’t keep her mind on the class … so this is a win-win for everyone.”
Everyone except me and Wills.
I glance over at him, a sinking pit in my stomach. Wills just glares back, his hand forming a tight white fist under his desk. This is going to be just great.
Wills is surprisingly quiet as I try to start helping him, and even though his jaw works uncomfortably and he won’t meet my eyes, he’s actually listening. Whenever he starts getting frustrated, I stop and wait for him to figure it out before I move on to the next step. Soon, he isn’t even clutching his hand under the desk anymore.
I look over his work once more before the end of class, and I’m surprised that he actually got most of it right. He tries to keep cool, but he can’t hide the way his eyes light up at my praise.
“You know,” he says, “I’ve had tutors before, but they always made me feel like an idiot.” He glances shyly at me, and then quickly away. “Thanks. For not … doing that.”
