by Eden Beck
“Where were you?” she asks with a clear strain of hurt in her voice.
Guilt floods through me. I used to be so good at this sneaking in thing. Maybe I’m channeling my inner Sadie a little too much.
“I … I was just … out. I’m sorry I’m coming in so late.”
“Mr. Davis came looking for you,” is all she says.
I sigh. “Yeah, I know. I am sorry about that. I just lost track of time. I was hanging out with …” I trail off, knowing that nothing I say is going to make me look any better.
“With Victoria and the holy trinity and all their disciples,” she finishes for me.
I look away from her and pull my clothes off, reaching for my PJ’s. “Look, Dana, I’m sorry I woke you up … but I’m not going to apologize for having friends.”
When I turn back around, she looks stricken, and I realize how that could come across.
“Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Dana doesn’t give me the chance to finish. She turns angrily yanks her covers up over her head, and I know I’ve screwed up. As soon as I think it, I’m flooded with guilt.
I can’t let it happen again … but if I’m honest with myself, I know it will.
Chapter 12
Mr. Davis is waiting for me when I walk into class. “You missed detention yesterday,” he tells me in an impatient tone. I nod.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Davis. I was held up with some other things.” I look at him earnestly because I really am sorry. I have more detention coming, and I know it.
I don’t mind doing it, though I do feel that I still don’t deserve it. I mean, they can’t really expect an entire school of adolescents to keep their hands off one another the whole time. Besides, Blair was to blame both times, not me.
But I’m determined to stay on the straight and narrow path, at least so far as my classes are concerned, so if I have to serve a little time … so be it.
“You’ve earned yourself two more days of it, starting this afternoon.” He’s serious, and I know it. “I expect you to show up this time.”
I promise him I’ll be there and sit down beside Dana. She was a little quiet this morning, but I think she’s finally gotten over my harsh words last night. It’s good to know she’s not the type to hold a grudge.
She turns in her seat in front of me and gives me a hopeful look. “I’m working on a project for biology tonight. I was hoping that you could help me with it.”
I nod, my attention still on Mr. Davis as he starts prepping for today’s lesson. “Sure, of course. You know I’d be glad to help you.”
Dana smiles widely at me. “Thanks, Sadie, I really appreciate that.”
“No problem,” I tell her, glad for the opportunity to make things right, especially when Victoria commandeers me at lunch. She’s bubbling over with excitement as she swipes her fingers all over her smartphone, showing me her big plans for winter break. As always, Alisha and Laura are at her elbows looking on.
She starts going on about the ‘fabulous’ chalet they’ll be staying in—complete with private ski lift, helicopter pad, and a Jacuzzi that could fit a small football team.
“Look at this place,” she says, “isn’t it amazing?” She pushes the phone under my nose and flips through a catalogue of photographs that look like National Geographic went full on Rambo with the snow.
I feel a hollow pit in my stomach. I’ve been so focused on school and my new friends that I forgot all about where I’m going to end up spending my holidays. Normally, of course, I’d be at a foster home, but I can’t go back to Ms. Martin, not now. And not just because apparently, I’m dead to her.
It’s the principal of the thing.
I imagine what it would be like to just suddenly go back to Ms. Martin’s and show up on the doorstep. ‘Hi, I know I ran away and I’ve been gone for months, but can I just stop in and have a holiday with you before I take off again?’ Yeah. That would go over like a lead balloon.
Victoria is so excited that she’s giddy. “Isn’t it the best? A white Christmas in Colorado. It’ll be perfect, like a greeting card.” Something about the way she says it makes a little pit of sadness in me when I remember what Dana said about her family. I cringe inside, knowing what Victoria is trying to hide.
I’m thinking about how no wonder this ski trip is so important to her, when suddenly Victoria, Alisha, and Laura are all staring at me. It takes me a second to realize Victoria asked me a question, and then another to remember what it was.
“And?” Victoria asks, her thumbs impatiently tapping on the sides of her phone case.
She asked me where I was going over break. I can’t tell her I’m still trying to figure that out myself.
I knew it was coming. I knew it.
“Oh, we’re still talking about it. Mom wants a beach and dad wants skis. We’re looking for a happy middle,” I lie. I don’t like lying any more than I have to, especially not now, but what am I going to say to her?
Thankfully, I’d forgotten the key ingredient here; Victoria’s complete self-absorption.
She lets my words bounce right off and she turns her attention immediately back to her ski trip, her interest heightened now that she knows for sure that she’s not in competition for most interesting winter vacation.
I don’t know why I even bothered to lie, it’s not like she was actually interested in what I was going to be doing anyway. She’s so shallow that I’ve stepped in deeper puddles.
Victoria keeps talking until the bell rings for us to get to class. She stops me on my way out to the lawn.
“Oh hey, before I forget, a group of us are heading into the cellar for a party after dinner tonight. You have to come.”
She gives me that look of hers; that compelling, determined, unwavering look that tells me that I have no choice if I want to remain with the in-crowd. Don’t even get me started on this so-called blacklist.
I actually think the party sounds like something I won’t hate, but something at the back of my mind nags at me. I’m supposed to be doing something else. I try hard to think on it, and my eyes grow wide.
“I can’t! I have detention.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, you can. When do you think we’re starting the party, right after class?” She and the girls all giggle mean-spiritedly, but she quickly adds, more friendly, “Come by my room when you’re done and I’ll give you something to wear. I think I’m right to assume you need some help in that … department.”
Her eyes look over me with a judgement usually reserved for sinners at the pearly gates … or wherever it is they go before eternal damnation.
“I guess I could, as long as I finish detention first.” There’s something still nagging at the back of my mind, but Victoria beams at me and whatever it was is quickly forgotten.
“Great! See you then!” She pops up from the chair and takes off in a whirlwind, with Alisha and Laura just barely catching up with her.
I make it through the rest of the day and sit through detention, which Blair is noticeably absent from again, and I scowl at him in my mind. It’s his fault I’m even in detention to begin with, and does he even bother to show up a second time? Fortunately this time Mr. Davis just has me sit quietly and do homework. I think even he’s starting to feel bad for me. And good. He should.
Halfway through detention my name sounds over a loudspeaker, along with several other names I recognize from my most recent illicit escapades, as we’re called down to the office.
My heart starts beating fast. I know what we’re being called in for. Well, one of several things now.
I’m the last to arrive, after Astor. He spots me coming and turns to smirk at me as he closes the office door behind him. I can’t understand him. The only thing that’s consistent about him is his inconsistency. It’s moments like this when I wonder how I ever feel any sort of soft spot for him. I need to just stay mad at him because he fully deserves it.
The lot of us are escorted into Doctor Dar
win Baxter’s office; the principal. He stands behind his desk and looks at all of us until we stop fidgeting. I recognize a lot of the faces from the last two nights, but Victoria is noticeably absent.
His voice is sharp and serious when he finally addresses us. “I’m sure you’ve all heard about the incident with the lamp.”
It takes everything in me not to glance guiltily at Astor. I catch several pairs of eyes darting my way out of the corner of vision, and I curse them inwardly.
The principal continues. “It seems that someone broke into the lighthouse just up the coast, shattering a window in the process, and stole a very expensive antique lamp from the property. Thankfully ... it was returned unscathed, but the school property destroyed in the process is another matter.”
Right, I remember hearing about the computer and files. The lump thickens in the back of my throat. I knew I could get in serious trouble for stealing the lamp, but this is so, so much worse.
“Whoever broke in and left that lamp is responsible, and I know it’s one of you.” He eyes us all suspiciously. “This kind of criminal behavior is unacceptable at Hawthorne Academy! There will be no tolerance for behavior like this. I want to know what happened, and I want to know right now.”
His dark, glassy eyes scan every one of our faces carefully, one at a time. No one speaks.
I want to swallow but there’s a knot in my throat the size of a bowling ball. If I’m discovered; if I’m found out, it’s curtains for me. I’ll be kicked out for sure ... and who’s to say that’s the end of it?
If they find out I’m not Sadie White in the process—and let’s be honest, how couldn’t they—I could end up somewhere even worse. The system is all too quick to send kids like me to juvie. Even if I did get out before I turned eighteen, I doubt they’d be able to place me again.
From elite academy to homeless in one day. It’s very possible.
The full severity of what I’ve done washes over me like ice cold water, and my palms begin to sweat as my heart bangs louder inside of me. It’s even worse now that I’ve tasted what I could have.
When no one speaks for a very long, very uncomfortable minute, Dr. Baxter sighs in frustration.
“Very well, since none of you will speak up about it, I will move to the next step. The lighthouse manager said there’s a camera he can access if we get the proper permits. I didn’t want it to come to this, but if none of you speaks up, we’ll have to turn this over to the authorities to obtain the video.”
I can feel the tension in the room, and I pray with everything in me that no one is looking at me now. After all, once that video comes back none of them are going to get in trouble. It’s my face they’ll see.
“It was me, Dr. Baxter. It was just a prank. No damage or harm intended. I’ll foot the bill and return the lamp.”
Everyone in the room gasps, including me, and I turn to see Astor with his chin held high, and a determined look on his face.
Dr. Baxter sighs and frowns, looking down at his desk as he taps his fingers firmly against it for a moment.
“Go ahead, ask for those videos then,” Astor says, “You’ll see it was my jacket in the videos. It was so dark I doubt you’ll be able to make out anything else. But that is, of course, only necessary if you don’t believe me …”
When Dr. Baxter raises his eyes again and clears his throat, it’s clear that he knows he’s just lost. “Astor Hawthorne. I’d like to speak with you alone. The rest of you are dismissed.”
We all file out, and though I try to catch Astor’s eye he refuses to look at me. He keeps his gaze trained straight ahead at the principal.
I feel wretched. As much as this whole scenario was Astor’s fault, I’m not used to letting other people take the blame for me. I run the whole scenario through my mind over and over again; trying to work out the tangled puzzle of why in the world Astor would step up and say that he did it.
Sure he was the one who taunted me into it, but I was the one who committed the crime. I’m the criminal. I can’t begin to understand why he’d take the heat for me. Yet again, Astor turns out to be completely inscrutable.
Victoria is still blissfully oblivious to the trouble when I knock on her door. She’s beaming and bouncing when I step into the room. For a moment I feel like I should tell her, but then I remember how upset and jealous she was just because Astor pulled my chair out for me in the dining hall. I don’t think it’s such a good idea to tell her he just saved my ass. She’ll find out soon enough.
In the meantime, perhaps I can just focus on anything else so that my mind isn’t centered on Astor.
“You’re late.” She bounds to her closet and throws the door open. It’s stuffed with more clothes and shoes, bags, and accessories than should be possible. For someone who I’ve never seen in anything other than her perfectly-pressed school uniform, she certainly has quite the collection.
Victoria gives me a critical looking over as she taps her perfectly manicured fingertip on her chin. “Blonde, height … weight … shape … face … eyes …” she mutters to herself. Suddenly she snaps her fingers. “I’ve got it!”
She turns and rifles through the wall of clothing before her, and then spins back to face me with a grin on her face and a beautiful cobalt blue dress in her hands. I lower a brow doubtfully.
“That looks kind of small.”
‘Kind of’ is being generous. It looks like it was made for a doll, not an adult-sized human.
She waves her hand in the air dismissively. “Oh, it’ll be perfect. Strip down. Come on. We don’t have all night.” Her eyes become hooded. “Unless, of course, you think you know better.”
If there’s one matter where I will trust Victoria completely, it’s this.
I do as she says, and she pours me into the blue dress. It hugs every single inch of me until it stops mid-thigh. The dress is tight, but it doesn’t make me look like a wrapped sausage. Instead, the lines accentuate curves I didn’t even know existed, and the low sweetheart neckline makes my boobs look three times bigger.
Not only do I look like Sadie White and not at all like Teddy Price, I look like Sadie in a glamour magazine ad. I never had the faintest hope that I could look like the reflection that’s staring back at me. It’s not possible, and yet … there I am. I kind of look like a Barbie myself. I cannot wrap my head around it.
I don’t even know if I … like it … yet. It’s too foreign.
“There now! We just need to do something with your hair! A loose braid. Yes. That’s just the thing. Show off your shoulders a bit.” She fusses with my hair for a minute, and before I know it, I have a hairdo somewhere between casual and classy, elegant and romantic.
If all else fails, Victoria could have a very promising career in cosmetology. Not that I’d ever tell her that.
“You’re ready!” Victoria squeals. She’s on the verge of popping fireworks out of her head, she’s so elated. She touches up her makeup and then takes a selfie of us in her mirror. “Alisha and Laura are going to be so jealous.”
She grins evilly, and glances up from her phone. “Speaking of … what’s your social media so I can tag you?”
The dress is so tight, it feels like my heart cannot beat hard enough.
“Uh … I don’t have one,” I say, quickly. “I’m too private for all that.”
“That’s why I love you. You’re so weird.” Victoria makes a little circle in the air, her eyes still glued to her phone. “In the good way.”
A couple seconds later, she hands me her phone to show me the photo she posted to her own account. The first photo is one of the both of us, me in the blue dress and her in a slinky peach colored dress in a matching style. Of course … she looks a world better than I do, but I still can’t stop staring.
In that photo, we really are a pair. A stunning, sexy, model-looking pair.
For a second, I think, I might really be starting to fit in. For real, this time.
Chapter 13
We head down a se
ldom used hallway to avoid any teachers who might be all too interested in where we’re going. She leads me through an old door I never noticed before and down several flights of stairs. I have a hell of a time on the stairs in the high heels she loaned me, but I’m just able to make it with a death grip on the railing. I fall behind her as she sails down them like a pro. Now I totally understand why Cinderella lost a shoe.
We make it down to the belly of the school after what feels like a century. It’s dark and dank, and it smells like it. I can hear water dripping here and there, and I’m not sure but I might have seen a rat scurrying past. It’s too dark to really tell for certain. I wonder what these rich kids can be thinking, having a party in a place like this, but then my doubts are shredded.
Victoria knocks the ‘shave and a haircut’ rhythm on a big metal door, and when it opens I’m stunned by what’s inside. There’s a large room that is part wine cellar, part tasting area, complete with multitudes of crystal stemware. There are comfortable chairs, tables, and soft glowing lights all along the walls and down the rows upon rows of wine that stretch off a short distance from the tasting area. It’s pristine, it’s warm, it’s designed exquisitely. This is the lap of luxury.
“How is a place like this in the school?” I ask in awe.
Victoria laughs. “This school is rooted in money, and money loves fine wine. Do you think the professors here drink the koolaid they try to serve all of us?” She adds as an afterthought, “Astor has the keys. Maybe it’s a perk of being a Hawthorne.”
Alisha and Laura are here, along with the holy trinity’s henchmen; Drake and Chris who were passing out burgers in the forest that night. Victoria takes a minute to look over the bottles of open wine on the counter and selects one.
“Oh, this one’s nice. It’s older than my grandmother.” She giggles and pours herself and me a glass. She turns to toast me, clinks her glass against mine, and then swallows most of what she poured for herself. She refills her glass and heads off to chat with the others while I gape at the surroundings.
