by Claire Raye
“You okay?” the male voice asks, and when I look up, his arm still wrapped around my waist, I see my new boss looking back at me.
Nothing in my life has ever been this mortifying.
I can feel the heat creep from my cheeks and down my neck, and I know my entire face is bright red.
“I’m okay, thank you,” I say, slipping out of his arms and adjusting my jacket that had shifted in the ruckus.
Glad to hear that, Sarah,” he says, and any hope of him not remembering me has gone out the window. “I haven’t had an assistant for months now. The last thing I need is my new one out with an injury.” He winks at me and while I think it’s supposed to come across as casual, it just feels awkward to me. “This floor was a bad investment,” he adds, his tone joking as he smiles a little. “You’re not the first to slip on it. Gets slick as hell when it’s wet.”
I nod my head a little in agreement but I look away slightly as I pick up my bag and follow my new boss to the elevators.
I watch him scan his badge on a keypad beside the elevator and the door opens, and he steps aside letting me enter first.
“I’m glad you’re here early today. It’ll give me a chance to go over some things with you before it gets busy in here.”
I’m far more inarticulate than I usually am, but I quietly agree with him, again nodding my head.
“I’ll also have you meet up with my old assistant for a bit. She moved into a different role several years ago, but she’ll be able to fill you in.”
We exit the elevator and make our way to his office, which has a small adjoining office that will be mine. He leaves me alone while I put my things down and get settled.
I open the blinds to reveal two massive windows that overlook the Boston skyline, a view that people would kill for.
I’m standing there taking in the view when a knock comes on the connecting door and my new boss enters, standing in the doorway.
“You ready, Sarah?” he asks, his voice smooth, almost seductive.
“Yes, Mr. McGuire.”
“Please, call me Andrew, and you’ll have to forgive me if I leave anything out. I haven’t had an assistant for some time now, but the company is insisting on it.”
He takes me around the office introducing me to people and showing me where I can find the things I might need. Then he gets down to the logistics of the job, which basically is that I will be doing everything he does, but I won’t be the person who gives the okay in the end.
I’ll be responding to emails, taking phone calls, sitting in on meetings, reviewing sales contracts and pricing, forwarding sales orders to purchasing, and at some point, I’m sure I’ll be fetching coffee and ordering lunches.
“You are the first point of contact,” Andrew states, when we return to his office. “You work on the clients with your charming personality I saw during your interview, you make the sale, you get them to sign the contract. It’s all you until I need to sign off on it.”
“I guess I didn’t realize I would be so involved in the sales aspect of everything,” I say and suddenly feel like I shouldn’t have said it. It makes me sound lazy or ill-equipped to do the job. “I mean, I…”
“Don’t worry about it, Sarah. I’m training you to take over a sales role that will eventually come available. You’re far more qualified for the job, but I’m happy to take you on.”
He steps out from around his desk, standing in front of me, he runs a hand down my arm and I swallow hard. Without being obvious, I take a small step back and cross my arms over my chest.
I’ve never been a big fan of people I don’t know well touching me, and personal space is a huge thing. Right now, I want to walk out of the room, I want to give this guy my what-the-fuck face, but since he’s my new boss I’m going to stand here and tolerate this like he isn’t encroaching on my space, like he isn’t bordering on inappropriate.
“Oh, one more thing,” he says, and again he’s too close for my liking. “If my wife calls, always put her through to me.” He winks at me, and it’s getting creepier by the second.
“Got it,” I respond, moving toward my office door and away from this awkward feeling that has taken over.
I flop down at my desk, exhaling hard and a shudder runs through me. I can’t help but wonder if maybe I’m just being weird about the whole thing. Some people are overly friendly. I’ve dealt with them at the bar on a regular basis; I guess I just assumed the business world would be different.
I shake it off as much as I can and log in to my computer, signing in to my email and getting things arranged on my calendar.
The day is a little slower than I expected.. I’ve taken a few phone calls and answered some emails, but Andrew did explain to me that some of his larger clients are still contacting him directly. He’s hoping to have all of that moved over to me in the next week or so.
I’m eating my lunch at my desk when someone knocks on my door.
“Come in,” I call out, standing up from my desk and walking toward the door to open it, but the person on the other side enters before I can get there.
It’s a woman a few years older than me; she’s blonde and thin and impeccably dressed in a pair of wide leg black pants and a crisp white button down. She looks flawless.
“Sarah?” she asks, “I’m Lauren Atkins. I was Andrew’s assistant a while back.” She extends a hand to me and we shake, smiling back at each other.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I reply, excited by the prospect of meeting someone closer to my age and someone who has done this job before.
“How’s it going so far?” she asks, taking a seat at one the chairs positioned in front of my desk. “The view from the office is just amazing. I forgot what it was like.” She pushes up a little from the chair and takes in the view. “I’m one floor below you now, but my view is of the side of a building.” She rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.
“It’s going okay,” I answer, not sure what more I can say. I haven’t really encountered anything within the job that would warrant asking her any questions. “What is your role at the company now?” I ask her.
“I spent about a year as Andrew’s assistant before I was moved to a sales role and then from there I moved to a sales director role. That’s my current title.”
“That’s awesome.”
Looking at this put together woman sitting across from me, I can’t help but hope that I end up like her. Taking this job is just my starting point.
“I owe a lot of it to Andrew,” she says, flicking her thumb in the direction of our adjoining doors. “He helped me move up quickly.”
I nod my head, but make a note to myself not to mention his overly friendly personality or how uncomfortable he made me. They are clearly close if she owes most her success to him.
“Has he hit on you yet?” she asks abruptly, seemingly out of nowhere. I’m taken aback and I’m not sure how to respond. I wouldn’t say he’s hit on me, but I can sense it will lead there.
When I don’t answer immediately she adds, “If he hasn’t yet he will. Just giving you fair warning. He can be a bit handsy too,” she says, holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers, her nose crinkling up in response to her own words.
I take a deep breath. It’s my first day and the last thing I want is people to think I’m a gossip, let alone my boss getting wind that I was taking about him.
I stay silent for a second longer and then say, “He’s friendly, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Good response,” Lauren says, smirking at me. “Just hold out. I promise you it will be worth it.”
Handsy I can handle; I’ve been there. You don’t work at a bar for six months without being touched by some drunken guy. I just hope it doesn’t extend beyond that.
We chat for a bit with Lauren leaving her extension number for me and telling me to call if I need help with anything.
The next time I check the clock, it’s well after six and I
realize I’ve missed my regularly scheduled train back to Rockport.
I poke my head into Andrew’s office to let him know I’m leaving for the day and to check if he needs me to do anything before I go.
“All good, Sarah,” he says, standing up and walking into my office. “Great first day, don’t you think?”
“Yes, thank you.”
I return to my desk and begin packing up my things and switching back into my snow boots as Andrew stays awkwardly in my office.
“We need to get the office decorated,” he states as he glances around this room. “Why don’t you add that to your list of things to do tomorrow. I want to make sure you like it here. Maybe bring in some pictures of your own. You and your boyfriend?” he adds, and I want to laugh at his completely unsubtle attempt to ask if I have a boyfriend.
“Will do,” I tell him, as I grab my bag and walk to the door.
“So you have a boyfriend then, I take it?”
“Yes, I do.” I say nothing more, but as I step through the doorway Andrew places his hand on my back guiding me through the door. He slides his hand down and for a split second I think he’s going to grab my ass. I shuffle away from him quickly, and call out, “Have a nice night.”
“You too, Sarah. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he replies, and my whole body stiffens in response.
Lauren’s words replay in my head: Just hold out. I promise you it will be worth it.
She better be right because this is only day one.
Chapter Ten
Finn
My phone chimes out with a text just as I’m getting ready to leave.
Sarah: sorry, got caught up. Just getting train now.
Me: don’t apologize. Hope you had a good day. Will see you soon.
There’s no response from Sarah, so I finish logging off my computer, say goodbye to the duty officer and head outside to my car.
“Finn?”
I freeze at the sound of my name. So much for hoping this was all over, clearly the message has still not been received.
“Carla,” I say, turning toward her.
She offers me a smile as she walks over to me, her gloved hands twisting together as though she’s nervous; her breaths heavy and coming out in tiny white clouds.
“What do you want?” I ask, my words sounding harsher than I intend them too.
“Can we talk?” she asks, stopping in front of me.
I glance at my watch even though I know it’s at least an hour before I have to be at the station to get Sarah. “About what?”
Carla steps closer. “Can we maybe go and get a drink or something?” she asks. “So we don’t have to talk out here?”
I let out a long exhale as I scrub a hand down my face. I don’t particularly want to have whatever this conversation is going to be about at all. Not here in the parking lot or anywhere else.
“I don’t have time, Carla,” I eventually say. “Just tell me whatever…”
“What does she have that I don’t?” she blurts out, cutting me off.
“What?” I reply, confused.
“This woman,” Carla says, waving a hand around as though Sarah is standing right here with us. “What does she have that I don’t?”
Carla meets my stare and although her face has a look of sadness on it, there’s a hardness to her eyes that I can’t read. Neither of us says anything and quite honestly, I have no idea how I am supposed to answer her question at all. For me, it’s never been about what Carla doesn’t have.
“Finn?” she prompts, stepping a tiny bit closer.
I shake my head, stepping backward as I pull my car keys from my pocket. “Look Carla,” I start, having no idea how I can possibly explain this to her in a way that doesn’t piss her off. “It’s not like that,” I start. “You and I, we…”
“We were something once,” she says.
I shake my head at her. “In high school, Carla,” I say. “Like sixteen years ago or something. And it wasn’t even that serious, was it?”
“It was for me,” she says, sniffing.
I take a deep breath, force myself to stay calm even though all I want to do is get the hell out of here. “Look,” I say, exhaling, “it was one night,” I continue. “One night, when we were teenagers, fooling around at a party,” I say. “You’re the one who dragged me into that bedroom. You even thanked me for the good time before you left. I assumed you were all okay with everything. Were okay with it being just a one-time thing too?”
“Finn,” she says, moving toward me and grabbing my arm so quickly I don’t have a chance to move. “It’s something I’ve regretted ever since it happened,” she says, her words almost a plea. “Not that it happened,” she clarifies. “I just wish I’d stayed, wish I’d told you how I really felt about you.”
“Carla, come on,” I say, pulling my arm from her grip. I don’t scare easily, but there’s something about this, about the way she’s acting, that worries me. “You never said anything to me. Not the next time we saw each other or anything. You even married someone else, for god’s sake. It can’t possibly have meant that much to you?”
She shakes her head. “It did,” she says. “And you do too. It’s why my marriage never worked out.”
I push a hand through my hair, knowing I need to end this conversation. It already feels like I’m walking a fine line as it is and the last thing I want is to push things over the edge. I can’t possibly understand how she can still harbor these feelings for me, especially when at the time we were only ever a one-time hook up.
“Carla,” I say, unlocking my car. “I’m sorry you feel differently about all of this,” I tell her. “I’m sorry you think there was ever anything more between us than what there really was,” I continue. “But for me, there will never be anything more, okay? I just don’t feel that way about you and I’m really not saying this to hurt you. That’s not what I’m trying to do here.”
She doesn’t say anything now, just bites her bottom lip as she stares back at me. Not knowing what more I can say, I open the car door and slide into my seat. But just as I’m closing the door, I hear it.
“She’s not right for you, Finn, you’ll see,” Carla says, her voice cold. “And you will regret it.”
Our eyes meet through my windshield and I see the hardness is back in hers now. Without saying another word, I slam the door shut, start the car and drive out. But even as I glimpse in my rear-view mirror and see Carla standing in the darkened parking lot, I know this is far from being over.
Fuck.
It’s almost eight by the time Sarah’s train gets back into Rockport and as I stand on the platform waiting for her, I force myself to stop thinking about Carla and what she meant by me regretting things.
Instead I find myself wondering how long Sarah can possibly keep this up. Sure, it’s only been one day, but there’s no way she’s going to be able to continue working days like this; a six a.m. train in the morning and then home some fourteen hours later. It’s too much, and even though I don’t want it to happen, I know her moving to Boston is an inevitability.
“Hey,” I say, smiling as she walks toward me and I pull her into my arms. “How’d it go?”
Sarah shrugs and I can practically feel her exhaustion as she sags against me. “Okay,” she says, pulling back. “It’s really sales focused, which is not my thing, but at least it’s a job.”
I lean in and kiss her before asking, “Were the people nice at least?”
She shrugs again, looking away as she says, “Yeah, they were.”
I duck down and meet her stare. “You sure?” I ask.
Sarah nods. “They were all fine,” she says, smiling a little as she leans back in to kiss me. “I’m starving, should we go eat?”
I steer her toward the car, an arm around her shoulders. “You want to go back to my place instead?” I ask. “We don’t have to go out if you’re too tired?”
“You wouldn’t mind?” she a
sks, opening the passenger door.
I smile across the roof at her. “Of course not,” I tell her. “How about I drop you at Erin and Ryan’s,” I suggest. “You grab some things so you can stay the night and I’ll go get us some food. Meet you back at my place?”
Sarah returns the smile. “Thank you, Finn, seriously.”
I walk around the car now and take her face in my hands. “Babe,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her. “It’s all good. You’ve had a really long day.”
Her eyes close as she leans her head against my chest, her hands sliding around my waist. “You’re so good to me,” she whispers.
We stand in silence for a few minutes, hugging in the parking lot of the train station while commuters file out around us. Most of them walk to parked cars, driving off alone, while a few are getting picked up by a family member.
I watch them all, wonder if this could become my life, picking Sarah up each evening and taking her home with me. It’s a fantasy I never thought I wanted, but somehow with her, I find there’s a part of me that does.
Although I will never admit this to Carla, there is something different about Sarah. But it’s not just different to Carla, its different to every other woman I’ve ever met before. Sure, we have this intense attraction and chemistry between us that I’ve never had with anyone, but it’s also more than that. She’s the first woman who doesn’t have any expectations of me. Doesn’t try to make me or us into something we aren’t.
And while I wish I could somehow tell Sarah all of this, part of me is too scared to admit it out loud, especially when I know she’s eventually going to move to Boston and all of this could be over before it ever has a chance anyway.
“Come on,” I say, pulling back. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
I drop Sarah at Erin and Ryan’s, reminding her again where my spare key is in case she gets to my place before I do, before heading out to grab us some food. I half expect to run into Carla again, given she seems to have a way of magically appearing wherever I am, but thankfully I don’t. By the time I get back home, Sarah’s car is in my drive.
