THE SICILIAN CHAR-WOMAN
Some weeks after leaving Killgruel, the noble little band entered agreat forest, in the middle of which they overtook a stately char-woman;and no sooner did the Doctor behold her than he left the ranks, andgoing up to her, shook her kindly by the hand. He then introduced her tothe King as the Sicilian Char-woman, and very chatty and pleasant sheproved to be, and as she was travelling in the same direction, shegraciously entertained them with the story of her life:--
'You may indeed find it more than difficult to believe me when I averthat I am the daughter of an Arabian Prince, and that in my early yearsI was considered not merely the most intelligent, but also the mostbeautiful and fascinating creature in my father's dominion. Ascompanions in my early childhood I had sixteen elder sisters, all ofwhom were blessed with singularly affectionate natures, and weregenerally declared to be only less beautiful and intelligent thanmyself. No care or expense was spared in our education and in fitting usfor the truly exalted position it was hoped that we should occupy, asthe daughters of a distinguished Arabian Prince. With this good end inview, the services were secured of the best of music-masters,dancing-masters, and instructors in the many graceful accomplishmentsthat were becoming to our rank; yet, alas! with all that one couldreasonably ask for, with every whim and wish gratified almost before itwas expressed, with the most indulgent of parents, whose sole joy was tofill our lives with happiness, a settled melancholy by degrees possessedmy soul and rendered me unfit to share the youthful pleasures of mysisters. It was not that I was in any way unmindful of all the kindnessshown to me in countless ways, but that a craving, always with me sincemy earliest days, to see the wonderful world I had so often hearddescribed in glowing terms, grew with me as time went by, and, weary ofthe idle life I led, I longed to use and develop in wider fields thegreat intelligence I had been gifted with.
'At first, as was to be expected, my parents would not hear of myleaving them, but seeing that I grew sadder and more discontented day byday, they at length reluctantly gave their consent, for, after all, whatgreater wish had they than for my happiness.
'After many consultations with the wisest men in my father's court, itwas decided that I should take a course of instruction at the RoyalCharing College of Sicily, and, on the fateful day, I took leave of mysorrowing parents and sisters, and, in charge of the Grand Vizier, leftfor Sicily.
'With such good introductions as my father was easily able to command, Ihad no difficulty in gaining an entry to the College, in which I verysoon learnt to distinguish myself. No lack of enthusiasm and industrydid I bring to my tasks, and a native ability far above the average soonfound opportunities for development, so that in the course of time I wasdischarged, a fully certified and perfected char-woman.
'Since those early days my skill, my virtues, and my affections havebeen devoted to the welfare of many families, some of whom wereundoubtedly good, some indifferent, while some again were undoubtedlybad. But without any question the worst household of all was that of thePettigrew Leanmuffins, when first I devoted myself to the wellbeing ofits members. Afterwards, however, as you shall hear, their trials,together with my disinterested conduct, wrought a reformation in theirnatures as astounding as it was welcome to all who knew them.
'Mr. Pettigrew Leanmuffins himself, a man of some attainments, thoughill-tempered and close to a degree bordering on meanness, had littleenough to do with me, hardly ever, indeed, disguising his efforts toignore my very existence; but no words at my command could describe theungenerous nature of Mrs. Leanmuffins, who not only refused to concedeany little favours to me, such as gracefully offering to entertain myworthy friend the waiter and his respectable family, but even denied,with much asperity, my right to enjoy an afternoon nap on thedrawing-room lounge.
'Of no value, in her prejudiced eyes, were the hardly-earned diplomasthat had been awarded me during my five years' course at the College,and though richly illuminated with gold, amethysts and pearls, andframed in gorgeously brocaded velvet, she would not hear of mycertificates for charing being displayed on the walls of the music-roombeside her daughters' certificates for musical proficiency. With suchpoor examples as their parents constantly before them, it is not to bewondered at that the three daughters, Grillette, Pandalaura, and Blenshould discover to one, who would have been their good friend, naturesso mean that there seemed little promise of their ever possessing moregenerous dispositions. Rather, the wonder is that they were not reallyworse than they were, and beyond the chance of any reformation.
I TOOK LEAVE OF MY SORROWING FATHER]
'Each valued her own paltry and merely ornamental accomplishments at afar higher rate than my own well proved and certified skill in theserious art of charing, and in their own rude way they never missed anopportunity of reminding me of their fancied superiority.
'During these early years of trial no other consolation had I than thesociety of the youngest of the Leanmuffin brood--Basil Herbert, one whoas yet had not developed the mean disposition of his parents andsisters. For hours together, when the other Leanmuffins were away atsome jaunt or frolic mayhap, would I, perhaps smarting under some recentindignity, pour forth my troubles into his not unwilling ears. Thoughbut two years of age at the most, he seemed to understand, and I feltthat in his own quiet way he gave me his sympathy. I therefore resolvedin my young heart that he, at least, should not be spoilt, and to savehim from falling to the depths of the other Leanmuffins was now my onehope in life.
HARDLY DISGUISING HIS EFFORTS TO IGNORE ME]
'How often would I, in dumb show, act kind deeds before him in littlescenes and plays that I had composed for the purpose, using the kitchenutensils to personify my various characters, thus accustoming hisgrowing mind to kind thoughts, until in time he gave promise of becomingas virtuous as he was handsome.
'He endeared himself to all by his amiable ways, though none suspectedto whose loving and untiring care they were due, and friends, nay, evenstrangers from distant lands travelled to see him, and marvelled at hisdecorous and kindly behaviour, which charmed as well as astonished allbeholders.
'His virtues, however, strong as they were, did not render him immune tothe weaknesses to which young children are liable, and in his fifth yearhe developed a chilblain of the most painful description. Every remedywas tried, dried turnip seed, applications of roasted capers, poulticesof wild figs and nard, fomentations of honey and turbot's roe, and manyother recipes for the curing of chilblains, recommended by anxiousfriends. Nevertheless the blain grew chillier and chillier until at lastthey were compelled to send for a physician.
'The physician, after spending a whole afternoon examining the foot,eventually took the most serious view of the case imaginable, andhastily wrote out the following prescription, promising to call again ina few days:--
Basil Herbert develops a chilblain]
1 Pint New Gruel. 1 gr. Tincture of Green Acorns. 1/2 gr. Hypo. 1/16 gr. Castor Sugar. 3 Clove Kernels. 1/2 lb. Coffee Essence. 3/4 lb. Sugar of Zinc. 2 gr. Bisulphite of Lead. 1 Pint Spirits of Sulphur. 5 gr. Bicarbonate of Saltpetre. 1 oz. Table Salt.
'Three drops to be mixed in a quart of lukewarm water and gently rubbedinto the roots of the blain every five minutes, day and night, until itsdisappearance, which, if all went well, should take place in about sixmonths' time.
'I was sent out at once, without a "please" or "will you kindly" ofcourse, to the nearest chemist to have the prescription made up. But,alas! he was unable to do it, as he had only three of the necessaryingredients in stock,--the bicarbonate of saltpetre, the table salt, andthe hypo. I now went in turn to every chemist in the town, only to findthat not one of them could supply me with _all_ the necessaryingredients. One perhaps had the tincture of green acorns and the hypo,while another had all but the coffee essence and the clove kernels. Someagain only had the spirits of sulphur and the sugar of zinc, and so on.Now, in my despair, I resolved to buy each separate ingredient at adifferent store and mix the prescription myself,
but, alas! I was nonearer obtaining it, as no one could supply me with the clove kernels.Determined to succeed, I visited in succession every town in Sicily, butnot a single clove kernel could I find from one end of the island to theother.
'As I stood on the sea-shore at the edge of the island wondering whatnext I should do to complete the prescription, my thoughts flew acrossthe sea to my home in Arabia, and I decided to return there at once inthe hope of learning from my parents where I should be most likely tofind the kernels.
'With the other ingredients securely sewn into the lining of my skirt, Iembarked for Arabia, and in due course arrived at my father's palace.
'When my good parents recognised me, which they did only after someminutes of close scrutiny, for it was at least twenty-five years since Ihad left home, they extended to me the kindliest welcome, and by theiraffectionate conduct dispelled any restraint I might have felt after solong an absence. In the meanwhile each of my sixteen sisters had marrieda Sultan or Prince at the very least, and they were now reigning intruly regal splendour in different parts of the world, and my parents,being alone in their old age, begged of me to come and live with themand gladden their declining years. This, however, I soon convinced themI could not do, and besought their help and advice in my quest. ThePrince, my father, manifested the greatest desire to assist me, and tooka fatherly interest in my fortunes. He caused the palace to be ransackedfrom top to bottom, but with no success,--there was not a single clovekernel to be found in the place.
THEY WERE COMPELLED TO SEND FOR A PHYSICIAN]
'After an affectionate parting with my father and mother, I visitedevery one of my married sisters in turn, each of whom introduced me toher husband and friends with considerable pride, for you must know thatalready my fame as a char-woman of great ability had reached even to themost distant parts. One and all were equally felicitous in theirexpressions of delight at seeing me, and equally pressing in theirinvitations to me to take up my abode with them. Yet none were able tohelp me in the quest I had so much at heart.
'At last I returned to Sicily without the clove kernels, and, tooashamed to appear before the Leanmuffins without the completedprescription, I wandered about the island in despair, resting at nightin the caves of the mountains, satisfying the cravings of my hunger onthe hard dry leaves of the cactus.
'I now bethought me of my good friend the waiter and the willingness hehad consistently evinced to help me when in trouble, and once more Iembarked, this time for the shores of Lombardy, at which place I knew hehad a comfortable situation. With very little difficulty I found therefreshment establishment at which he worked, and, as I anticipated, hewas extremely pleased to meet me again, and manifested the liveliest joyat the prospect of being of some help to me. Together we studied themenu of the day very thoroughly, but could find no mention whatever ofclove kernels, and then, idly looking through some menus of recent date,handsomely bound together for future reference, we discovered that clovekernels had been served as recently as the day before. It would beuseless to attempt to describe the despair that took possession of mewhen I discovered that I had only missed them by one day. The waiterexcitedly rushed down to the kitchen to see if any had been left over,but, alas! there was not a single clove kernel to be found in the larderor anywhere else. On leaving the refreshment rooms I shed the bitteresttears that had ever fallen from my usually joyful eyes, and on the rocksby the sea gave way to a mood of the greatest despondency.
'More ashamed than ever to return to the Leanmuffins, I made severalinquiries for any one requiring the services of an amicable, virtuous,and, at the same time, experienced char-woman, determined to find workin Lombardy if any were to be had.
'Not receiving satisfactory replies to my inquiries, my good waiter,true to his kind nature, introduced me to one of his most regularcustomers, the Marquis of Lombardy, who had been looking out for someyears for a capable char-woman to superintend the management of hisdomestic affairs. Meeting with the approval of the Marquis, I thussecured a comfortable home, and resolved to forget that I had ever livedin Sicily.
'Now it happened that the Marquis, being a regular diner at therestaurant, had partaken of clove kernels on the last occasion they wereserved, and three or four must have fallen from his spoon into hiswaistcoat pocket at the time, for I overheard his valet repeat to thehousemaid that he had found them therein when brushing his master'sclothes, and that he had presented them to one of the boatmen'schildren. Learning the name of the child, not a moment did I lose inhunting for him high and low, and eventually discovered him playing idlyon the sands with what, I was convinced, were the kernels I so muchcoveted. At last, thought I, they are within my reach, and runningjoyfully up to the light-hearted lad discovered, alas! that he was onlyplaying with brass buttons.
'After the first shock of my new disappointment had passed away, Iquestioned the lad as to how he had disposed of the clove kernels, andhe told me that his father, who considered them excellent bait, hadtaken them from him and given him three brass buttons in exchange.
'On asking him where his father was at the present moment, he pointedwith his sunburnt hand to the horizon, and looking in the directionindicated, I perceived a little fishing-smack, miles away. Without theloss of a single second, I hired a boat, and, with a boatman to assist,rowed in pursuit, and after a chase of three or four hours drew up, inan exhausted condition, alongside the smack. I now in piteous tonesbegged the clove kernels of the weather-beaten mariner, but he onlylaughed loudly and bitterly in reply, and, on my inquiring the reason ofhis cruel mirth, told me in faltering accents that he had only justhauled in his lines to discover that the fish had gone off with the baitand hook as well. Thus doomed to disappointment, I spent the rest of theday in a state of mind bordering on madness.
THE IMPROVEMENT WAS MAINTAINED]
'It was a little time after this that, one evening, I was sitting overthe kitchen fire. The cook had just served up an excellent dish of fish,and my mind was still turning to Sicily in spite of my endeavours toforget that there was such a place, and wondering if ever I should seeBasil Herbert again. Suddenly there was a most terrible disturbanceoverhead in the dining-room, a noise as of plates being thrown from oneend of the room to the other, and presently wild shrieks and groans ofpain. I ran lightly upstairs, always ready to be of use in emergenciesof any kind, and opened the dining-room door just in time to see theMarquis raving most pitifully. It transpired that the very identicalfish that had swallowed the hook and the clove kernels had been caughtand served up to the Marquis's table, and he, poor man, had justswallowed the hook. Taking in the situation at a glance, I soon saw theprobability that the three clove kernels, or one or two of them, were inthe body of the fish, and walking boldly into the room I grasped thefish by the tail, and took to my heels.
DISCOVERED A CLOVE KERNEL]
'For miles I ran, out of the town and into the country without stopping,until, quite exhausted and out of breath, I sat down beneath a rock torest. I now examined the fish which I still held in my hand, and foundonly two of the kernels in its body, the Marquis having probablyswallowed the third.
'However, although not the complete number required by the prescription,they were better than no clove kernels at all, so after resting awhile Iresolved to return once more to Sicily.
'After some vicissitudes I arrived at last at the home of theLeanmuffins to find them all in despair. Basil Herbert's condition hadnot improved, and the physician had ceased his visits and gone in searchof me. I soon mixed the stuff, which brought some little relief to theunhappy young patient--but not enough, as the lotion was notsufficiently strong without the third clove kernel.
'We persevered, however, and the improvement was just maintained. Atlast one evening when all the members of the family were gathered roundthe sufferer's bed endeavouring to distract him by every manner ofentertainment conceivable and by cheerful songs, glees, and the tellingof interesting stories, there came a low knock at the door and somebodyinquiring for me. Who should
it be but my faithful friend the waiter,who, on sweeping the floor of the Lombardic refreshment room, haddiscovered a little clove kernel in the corner, and, mad with delight atbeing able to assist me, had hastened from Lombardy to bring me thetreasure. Small though it was, it was enough to give the requisitestrength to the lotion, and in due course the young patient completelyrecovered.
'After their severe trials the Leanmuffins were completely transformed;from being ignoble, mean, and unkind, they became generous in theextreme. Their joy knew no bounds, and henceforth they made me quite oneof their family, and my friend the waiter and his good people were askedto dine with us every Sunday that they were in Sicily.
vignette]
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THE INTERVAL]
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Bill the Minder Page 9
