by M. D. Grimm
But then Nanna stepped between us, lifting her hands to stop us. “Enough, both of you! Dyrc, stand down!” she ordered.
“But--” Dyrc protested.
She glared fiercely at him. “Now!”
He bared his teeth but stood down. I did as well, but my magick still bubbled just under the surface. Nanna turned to me and held Puejuek in her hands.
“We offer a trade, Morgorth,” she said. “Rambujek for Puejuek.”
“What!” Dyrc bellowed.
I stood silently.
“He doesn’t deserve any, Nanna! What are you doing?”
Dyrc demanded.
“The only thing I know to do,” she said, staring at me.
“It is a fair trade, Morgorth. Take it. Show us that we were wrong about you.”
I glared at her, hating the choice she gave me. “It doesn’t matter what I do. You will think what you will of me.” I paused. “Give me until tomorrow, at this hour, to decide.”
Nanna nodded regally. Dyrc seethed in silence. They shot into the air and sped off, taking Happy Valley’s only hope with them.
***
I placed several crystals around the border of Happy Valley to create a protective dome around the village. It would keep out more snow and intruders. I told the citizens in my strongest and most intimidating voice that there would be horrible consequences if any of them attempted to leave Happy Valley until I removed the dome. All of them looked petrified, and I knew that fear would keep them obedient.
They seemed to be making good progress on rebuilding their homes. The grain building was looking better, and all this activity kept them from waging war with each other. I figured the stone was the reason there was less bigotry and prejudice in this village full of various species. As much as I abhor the Pferun Dulleriin, I had to concede that Happy Valley needed theirs back.
But that was a conflict I was having with myself. Should I get Puejuek back? It was dangerous in the hands of a destroyer -- nothing would be able to touch them because it carried blessings of the Mother. But Rambujek was far more powerful and more of a prize for a war-lusting creature.
Which one was more of a danger? Which should I want more? If the location and knowledge of Puejuek came to be widely known, Happy Valley would be in danger and I would have my work cut out for me protecting the damn place.
I climbed to the hill and activated the crystals. The dome snapped shut at the top, and while it was translucent, it distorted the images and colors when one looked through it. I made the border somewhat elastic, so any blasts would just rebound off of it. It was wiser than making it solid like stone, which could be cracked and shattered after repeated blasts. Satisfied, I turned and walked through Vorgoroth.
Yes, I could protect Happy Valley in only this way, with the dome. But there were merchants who came to Happy Valley; it was a trade post despite its location next to my forest. Most went around Vorgoroth instead of tempting fate. And my dome would not bless them, nor could I make sure Happy Valley had all the crops they needed when spring came. I couldn’t make their village flourish the way Puejuek had. Nor could I continue the acceptance that the stone brought... and that was one of the village’s best virtues.
But Rambujek... that stone was the reason Aishe’s tribe were all dead. It was the stone of war. It was the reason that he and I were together. It was a major stone of power.
What would the Council do with it after they got their filthy hands on it?
I called to Grekel. The wichtln came speedily, his large pack behind him.
“We might have war upon us, Grekel.” I warned him.
“Be prepared. I don’t know what to expect from these mages if I refuse them. And even if I agree to their proposal, they might not honor it.”
Grekel nodded, his eyes gleaming brightly in eagerness.
“Tell the other packs and clans in the forest,” I said.
“Make them prepared.”
“My pleasure, my lord.” He bowed, his upper body coming low to the ground, his front paws stretched out and his tail between his legs in submission. Obedience.
“Good boy,” I said, patting his head. I turned and said a word before speeding through my forest, nothing more than a blur to witnesses’ eyes.
***
Aishe was in the larger parlor, standing by the hearth, his arm resting on the mantel. I was tired and irritated and so not ready for the argument that I knew was brewing. But there wasn’t a way to avoid it -- was there?
“I don’t know how to help you,” Aishe said suddenly. I walked farther into the parlor and collapsed on the couch. I wanted to tug off my boots, but I also didn’t want to move anymore.
“I don’t know how you can help me, either,” I admitted.
“I don’t know what to do, Aishe. Give in and risk betrayal and a possible war? Or deny them and still risk a war?”
I slid down on the couch until my butt was nearly off the cushions and stared at my ornate ceiling.
“What about Master Ulezander?” Aishe said, his gaze still on the fire. “You said he was part of the Council, right?
Wouldn’t he know about this?”
“I’ve been wondering about that.” I frowned. “He’s usually given me a warning when the Council gets a bug up their collective asses and decides to go after me. But he hasn’t been in contact for over a year now. I don’t know. I could never guess what he was thinking.”
While it was quite possible the Council left Master Ulezander out of the vote; that was very risky on their part and more obvious and devious than I gave them credit for.
I also couldn’t stop the nasty thought that kept surfacing in my head: Had Uzzie abandoned me?
“You said he has a soft spot for you.” Aishe walked away from the hearth and came to sit beside me, his face full of concern.
“I mostly just said that to needle Dyrc,” I confessed. “I really don’t know what he thinks of me.”
“Yes, you do,” Aishe chided, brushing a stray hair from my face. “You know him, Morgorth. You trained under him for years.”
“Doesn’t mean I know him,” I said. “He was really tight-lipped about himself, and he was always stern when dealing with me. He had to be, I’ll admit. I don’t remember getting many compliments from him but... he wasn’t my father. So that was good enough for me.”
Aishe was now stroking my head, and it felt nice. I closed my eyes and let him soothe me.
“It frustrates me, you know,” he said.
“What does?”
“How helpless I am against mages.”
My eyes popped open, and I looked at him. He wasn’t smiling, and his eyes showed fear.
“I’m not stupid, Morgorth. I’m not arrogant enough to think I can stand a chance against a mage. I have seen what you can do, and you keep telling me that you’re still young and that others can do more. And I understand your concern for my safety, even if it wounds me.”
I smiled slightly. “I really don’t mean to wound your pride, Aishe. You’re a competent hunter, a superb archer, and an impressive tracker. But the only magick you can do is healing magick. And while I find that amazing, it won’t protect you.”
“I know.” Aishe nodded, taking a deep breath. “I know.
But that just makes me fear for your safety.”
“Why?” I asked.
“What if something happens to you?” Aishe’s eyes grew wide. “What if both of those mages attack you and you can’t defend yourself? All I have are my bow and arrows, and that won’t stop a fireball, like the one Dyrc just flung at you not an hour ago.”
I sat up. “Easy, Aishe.” His breathing had become quick and uneven. He had become even paler than he usually was. “Nothing is going to happen to me--”
“You can’t be sure of that.” Aishe gripped my hands.
“You can’t promise me that. I can’t protect you.”
He seemed very bothered by that. “Aishe--”
“I know,” Aishe said. “I know, I sho
uldn’t think that way.
But how can I not? They’re right at our doorstep, our home, threatening us. Threatening you. And I can’t do anything about it!”
He stood and began to pace the parlor, anxiety and anger radiating off of him in waves. I watched him, realizing I’d put him in this situation. I’d taken him as a mate, hadn’t I? But he had pushed himself on me from the start. He’d kissed me first; he’d told me he wanted to be my lover. His bluntness had startled me, and I had no defenses against his desire.
Maybe that was a good thing. Without him, I would never have known what “happy” was.
“And it’s not just Dyrc and Nanna,” Aishe continued.
“You say that the Council wants a war with you, so they can destroy you without any guilt laid on them. They want to destroy you, Morgorth. They want to take you away from me. Just like my tribe was. And I’m helpless like I was then.”
I stood and walked in front of him, stopping his pacing.
His voice had become faint, broken, shaken. It broke my heart. I took his hands in mine and met his eyes.
“You know what you do for me, Aishe?” I said quietly.
“You give me hope.”
Aishe swallowed hard, and as I watched him, I realized just how much this battle was affecting him. I wasn’t the only one being attacked. I wasn’t the only one under siege.
I finally, truly, understood what he meant by my business being his business. We were sharing a life, and he was affected by everything that affected me. He wasn’t separate from the mages’ world -- being with me put him smack dab in the middle of the quiet war that I’d been waging since childhood.
Aishe and I were one. One life. One home. One love.
I wasn’t alone anymore.
I had to tell him. I had to lay everything before him and give him a choice. I couldn’t protect him by keeping him in the dark. It was my job to take some of that helplessness away, to give him something to latch onto. His foundation had been shaken by his tribe’s massacre, and now by the mages’ invasion and the Council’s provocation. He was unaccustomed to their tactics and intimidation, unlike me.
I had to give some power back to him somehow, the power recent events had taken.
I smiled. “You give life and love, Aishe. You’re my support and my backup. I know, that no matter what, you will be right beside me. Right? Isn’t that what you keep telling me?”
Aishe nodded, his eyes locked on my face. “Yes. I will stay with you.”
I smiled. “You give me strength, Aishe. I know I’m stuck with you.”
Aishe smiled, some of the anxiety in his eyes disappearing.
“This is your home Aishe, just as much as its mine. You can help me defend it.” I paused. “I know your tribe...” I hesitated. I didn’t often mention his tribe, knowing it was a sore spot, but I had to speak about them. I carefully chose my words. “You still grieve for your tribe. And I know you have your own nightmares.”
Aishe’s eyes widened for a moment before he looked away, red darkening his cheeks.
“I know you try to hide it,” I continued softly. “I wish you wouldn’t. You don’t want me to hide mine.”
“They--” Aishe took a deep breath. “They don’t come very often. And, well, you just have so much to deal with right now. I didn’t want to burden you.”
I shook my head slightly. “You could never be a burden.”
It was strange that I was comforting Aishe, that I was trying to bridge another gap between us. He wanted equality in this relationship; he wanted me to give, and I had to tell him that he had to give as well. He shouldn’t hide anything from me.
“I’m sorry.” Aishe met my eyes. “I was trying to be strong for you.”
“With no regard for yourself?” I raised an eyebrow. “You need to take care of yourself, Aishe. You know how awful I am at empathizing. I didn’t even notice how much all this was affecting you until now.”
Aishe smiled slightly. “It might take you awhile, but you empathize just fine.”
“I’m not your tribe, Aishe.”
Aishe’s hands jerked and I tightened my grip. “What I mean is, I won’t be caught unawares, like they were. I know what danger there is for me outside those doors, these walls. I’ve known for a long time. I’m prepared, I expect it. I’m a suspicious and pessimistic bastard, as you well know.”
Aishe nodded.
“And more, I have you.” I pressed his hands to my chest, covering them. “I have someone to come home to. I won’t take unnecessary risks, I promise. I want to come home to you. I don’t want to leave you, either. I want to live for a very long time.”
Some of the worry, the distress, faded from Aishe’s eyes.
I realized he’d been worried not just about what could be done to me, but what I would do to myself. He was probably worried that I would be reckless, take risks, and he would lose me. Without me, he would be alone once more. Alone in the cold, unfeeling world. I knew his fear, because I’d felt it before.
As long as there was breath in my body, I would never let that happen.
“And another thing... you let me protect you,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “I like doing that. I like saving your life. Thanks for being helpless.” I smiled.
Aishe let out a jerky laugh. I embraced him, and he held me tightly. He pushed his face in the crook of my neck, and I heard him take a deep breath.
“I want to punish them for what they’ve done to you, my love. For what they’ve said to you. The horror they’ve put you through. I want to destroy them all.” Aishe’s voice became fierce and cold.
I smiled. “I’m glad you want to. My avenger.”
***
We ate supper in the largest parlor that night. The fire roared and fought against the chill emanating from the stones. It wasn’t storming outside, but it was still unpleasant, gray and misty with a heaviness in the air that made it hard to breath. The cold was penetrating, and the wind was still howling around Geheimnis, daring us to confront it.
The boygles were silent as they brought our meal, but I could see them exchanging glances and didn’t like the looks. I snapped at them, scared them, and they scurried away. It may seem strange, but I knew that would reassure them. They would only stay loyal to me if I remained powerful in their eyes. They would murder me in my sleep if they thought otherwise.
“Who is part of the Council?” Aishe asked.
I gulped down some flasken before I answered -- it was alcoholic and fruity, and I contemplated getting drunk. I leaned back on the sofa and inhaled deeply.
“The ten oldest and most powerful mages are on the Council,” I said. “You could see it as a tribe, Aishe.
Mages are supposed to obey and report to the Elders -- the members of the Council.”
“And Master Ulezander is an Elder?” Aishe asked.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Though mages come from seelas, we do not follow seela laws or traditions. Many mages become employed by kings and lords, assisting them, serving them.
Weaker mages especially put themselves into positions of power and influence. It compensates for their lack of magickal power.”
“And the Council votes?” Aishe asked.
“Oh yes,” I said faintly. “They are very civilized and calm. Even when voting yay for the murder of a child.”
Aishe touched my hand, and I shook my head. “I can’t dwell on it. It doesn’t do any good. It just puts me off my food.” Determined, I sat up and crammed an entire biscuit into my mouth. I wasn’t going to allow Dyrc and Nanna and the Council to have any more power over me. I didn’t answer to them.
“So you would be subject to their laws and rulings?”
Aishe said.
“In theory,” I grunted, after I’d swallowed the biscuit. I gulped down some more flasken. “Then there’s the Hand.”
I shuddered. “They’re made up of five mages from the Council. They don’t convene very often, but when they do it’s never good news.”
/> “Why?”
“The Hand is our judge, jury, and executioners.” I cleared my throat. “The Hand is who proclaimed my death sentence.”
Aishe’s sharp intake of breath had me covering his hand with mine. “Easy. Most mage punishments are handled by the particular mage’s mentor. I’m subject to Master Ulezander, first and foremost.”
Silence fell. I gave Aishe time to absorb what I had just told him.
“What are you going to do about the stones?” Aishe asked, changing the subject. “Are you going to give in to their demands? Will you make the trade?”
“Don’t know.” I looked at him. “What would you feel if... if I did give them Rambujek? The stone that... that got your tribe killed?”
An immensely sad look came over Aishe’s face, and I cursed myself for even mentioning it. But then Aishe sighed and sat back on the sofa. He stared at his long hands that sat in his lap.
“I don’t know how I should feel about that.” His voice was soft. “I feel safe knowing you have the stone, Morgorth. I think its justice to lock the stone up, to reduce its power. It influences the mind -- the desire for it got my tribe killed.” He met my eyes. “But that also means I don’t want you to die over it. No one else should die because of that fucking stone.”
I nodded in agreement. “You have any ideas about what the hell I should do?”
Aishe smiled slightly. “I’m afraid I only have one.”
“What?”
“Contact Master Ulezander. I know you don’t want to, but you should see what he has to say about this. Maybe he can intervene.”
I brooded, staring into the fire, my chin in hand. “I’ve thought about it. But that would put him in a delicate position. Although, he can usually talk his way out of anything -- he’s very persuasive.” But even as I thought seriously about it, I shook my head. “It’s too late, Aishe.
