I wrote an e-mail to Nicole and she replied with a polite, but to the point, response saying she was really glad I was coming and giving the itinerary for the wedding and the reception. For someone who had shared so much with me I actually asked myself, “Why bother going?” after reading her mail. Maybe we had grown apart – although could three and a half years erase the bond between two people who had put their own lives at risk to kill? Could the connection between two former lovers erode to an e-mail that probably took no longer than a couple of minutes to compile?
I had never been to Georgia so I just looked at the directions. Strange, I had thought Daniel had been stationed in a location near the coast, but the city listed was far from the military base Nicole had mentioned when I had last talked with her. This would make my journey even more difficult as I had to find a connection flight as well as a bus that would get me there on time. I sent an e-mail asking if it would be possible to get a ride but Nicole quickly responded that it would not be possible for her to pick me up – but she could arrange a ride from the bus station. Since I figured she was online the same time I was, I sent another mail asking how she had been. There was no reply. That hurt, but I reasoned that she must be quite busy.
It felt bad to spend several hundred dollars on this trip, but I figured they were the closest things I had to friends, so I would make the sacrifice. I confirmed my flight. At least I would be able to visit a place I had never been to, and hopefully it would be warm there.
Chapter 2
When the day for departure arrived I had no idea what to expect for the wedding. I left Thursday evening and arrived in Georgia early Friday morning, after a long layover in Dallas/Ft. Worth. I took a cab to the bus service and was on my way. I had never ridden a bus for travel purposes. I was far from impressed. I had a Charles Manson look-alike sitting behind me, people speaking some Middle Eastern language in front of me and an assortment of others who looked as if they were on the bus because they were not allowed to drive. I certainly hoped I could at least rekindle my friendship with Nicole since I was enduring this torture to see her.
I arrived at the destination in the early afternoon on Friday. It was a warm, humid day and I heard the crack of thunder in the distance. I had always enjoyed storms, but I would prefer them occurring when I had some sort of shelter secured. A green truck arrived just as the clouds opened up, and a woman yelled out with a thick southern accent, “Hi there, are you Melanie Johnson?” I yelled back that I was and she motioned me to get in.
I have always been sensitive to cigarette smoke and the truck smelled like an ashtray. I felt out of place as this middle-aged woman with a hair style from some 1980s music video tried to get a conversation going. She asked if I liked country music and I politely said, “I guess some is okay.” Thankfully she at least she turned the volume down. As we proceeded down a country road she asked how I knew Nicole and Daniel. She was Daniel’s landlord and attended his church – the one the wedding was taking place in. I told her we had been classmates together.
She proceeded to ask where I was staying – I had assumed Nicole would have arranged that but apparently she had not. I said I was not sure and asked if there were any hotels near by. She said there were but that I would not want to house a dog in any of them as she offered to let me stay in one of her empty apartments for free while I was there. I appreciated her generosity.
When we arrived I noticed Nicole’s old car in the parking lot of the apartment complex. The woman said she would show me to my place so we got out and walked up some stairs that I marvelled could pass any safety inspection. Thankfully it was not raining anymore but I could still hear thunder in the distance.
We approached the corner apartment and she opened the door. While the sign in front said “furnished apartments” I had seen better things in a second-hand thrift store. The living room had an old green couch that looked as if an elephant had used it one too many times to sit on. The linoleum floor made squeaking sounds as we walked across it with our wet shoes. There was an old table in the kitchen with a fake marble top, and the walls were decorated with yellowish wallpaper dripping with nicotine stains. As for the bedroom, the bed looked pretty inviting, despite the tacky bedspread and the garage-sale lamp with little strings hanging down from it. At least it was a warm day and I could leave the windows open to air out the stale scent of cigarettes.
The woman handed me the key and said she would let Nicole and Daniel know I had arrived. I put my suitcase on the floor and vowed I would send it to the dry cleaners once I returned home. I would wait for my friends to arrive before I would venture into the shower – at least I only had a phobia for spiders – cockroaches were merely disgusting in my opinion but did not cause me fright as two ran across the floor and behind the radiator. I undressed, took out my only expensive dress, the black dress my mother had bought me for graduation, and hung it up safely away from the insects who shared my accommodation.
I collapsed on the bed and stretched out; confident I could throw on some casual clothes once Nicole and Daniel arrived. I waited, and waited. Patience has never been a virtue for me and I was getting frustrated at nobody coming to greet me. Finally I decided to just go ahead and take a shower. As I was almost done I heard a knock on the door. It figured Nicole would finally decide to come at the worst time. I yelled out, “Just a minute!” and quickly dried off and threw my jogging sweats on. I was anxious to see my friend after all these years!
When I opened the door Nicole and Daniel were both there. I waited for Nicole to initiate a hug but all she did was say, “Hey Melanie! It is so wonderful to see you after all this time!” It was not what I had expected – Nicole standing there with her arms folded, except she was smiling. She looked tired, and had gained a little weight, but overall she looked as she had when we last saw each other. Daniel, who had apparently gained at least twenty pounds and had short hair, merely asked, “So Melanie, how are you doing lately?” His voice seemed to hide something – contempt perhaps? Suddenly Nicole unfolded her arms and gave me a warm hug, “I really have missed you Melanie!” That was more of what I had wanted. Daniel just stared at us and seemed to attempt a smile.
Nicole apologized for not being able to pick me up herself, but she had been busy decorating for the big event. I said I understood and asked if she needed any help. She replied, “Everything is pretty much completed, but I would really love having your company!” Daniel then shot in, “Nicole, we do have a few more things we have to work on so I’m not sure…” Nicole interrupted, “Nonsense, everything is set up so I can spend some time with Melanie, can’t I?” He said, “Oh, I suppose, but you need to talk with my mom about the flower arrangements pretty soon.”
I could sense a tension in the air. I figured it was due to the stress of the wedding so I did not pry. Nicole offered to take me to the church to see how things looked so I asked if she could wait a moment for me to change. Daniel said he needed to pick up a few things in his car but as Nicole sat down he cleared his throat and stared at her. She stood up and said, “Melanie, I will be waiting outside in my car” as they left together out the door. I changed into some jeans and a clean blouse I ran out to meet her. I quickly jumped into her car and we drove off.
The storm seemed to be returning. Lightening illuminated the sky as we drove down a country road to the church. Nicole mentioned that I should watch out for ticks as well as copperheads, water moccasins and even poison spiders. She said the nature here was nice but had many more dangers than Oregon did.
I asked Nicole what was up. She hesitated to answer a moment but then sighed and replied, “Daniel decided the military was not for him. He’s working for a construction company now.” That was surprising as I knew it was difficult to get in the air force, but I figured it was his choice. I then asked, “So are you excited about the big day?” She took a deep breath and replied, “Yeah, it has been a long time coming.” As she switched the topic to preparations for the wedding I could detect something wa
s being kept from me – something just under the surface, but she was not volunteering any information other than the details of the event…as well as more warnings about the nature.
I was desperate to get a conversation going as deep as the ones I remembered us having in the past, yet everything seemed superficial. Maybe we had grown older and those moments were history and could not be re-captured, or maybe I had re-constructed my memories to view those days back in high school as more meaningful than they were. Of course maybe we had just grown apart.
I tried to think of something to say to get things going so I asked if we would be hearing any birth announcements in the near future. She said she seriously doubted it. She said that Daniel was totally against having children despite his pastor giving several sermons on the importance of raising children in the past two months. Now that caught my attention, “So you go to church with Daniel?” She answered, “Yeah, if I don’t Daniel gripes and gives me the silent treatment. I suppose sacrificing a couple of hours in a hot building every Sunday is less a hassle than his little punishments that can last for days.” She continued, “Oh, and as for kids Melanie, if I were a mother I would probably screw them up as much as I am today.” I looked at her intently and replied, “There is nothing wrong with you, why do you get down on yourself?”
Nicole pulled the car over and sat a moment in silence before asking, “Okay Melanie, have you forgotten our body count? Come on, we left a trail of blood back in high school. What normal people do that?” I replied, “That was in the past and…” She interrupted and tearfully asked, “You think so? Did you ever consider that I might get angry enough sometimes to go solo and kill someone for doing me wrong?” I had wanted to discuss our taboo subject and I supposed now I would have the opportunity. I was curious though and had to ask, “Have you and Daniel actually…uh, have you two resumed our hobby?” She screamed, “Absolutely not!” Then she started crying, “Okay, I know I can share this with you.” Her voice took on an angry tone as she wiped her eyes, “There was this Army sergeant stationed on our base. When he would see me he would make all kinds of crude comments, and whenever Daniel was off on some training assignment he would even call and proposition me.” I asked if she could have turned him in. She responded, “He threatened that if I reported him he had lots of friends and that my ‘whitey-ass boyfriend’ would never be able to fly once they were through with him.”
I asked what happened. She took several deep breaths and continued, “I found out where he hung out at night – some sleazy bar off base. I decided to see if cutting the brake cables really was as effective as it was always portrayed in the movies. I guess I got lucky, nobody saw me and he had not bothered to lock his doors. When he drove off he sped out of the parking lot and disappeared, racing down the highway. The next day I found out he had totaled his car – it had flipped several times after flying down a hill.”
I asked, “So he was killed? Was there an investigation?” She smiled, “No, he must have been wearing his seat belt but he is paralyzed from the waist down. And the great part was that he was so drunk nobody took the time to see if there were any defects in the car! I guess he did not even remember that his brakes had not worked before the wreck.” I congratulated her – I was happy things had turned out okay in the long run. However she countered, “Melanie, I wanted him dead and felt cheated that he survived. I have one more confession though – when I cut those cables I felt alive again – something I had not felt since high school. I was both anxious to see him dead, but I began to imagine killing again – and it felt exhilarating! You are studying psychology, tell me if that is normal. Tell me, is that is the trait of a good potential mother?” I had no reply except to say, “You did it to protect your husband, that shows a strong maternal instinct.”
Nicole sat back in her seat and commented, “I did it to protect myself too.” She hesitated again and looked at me, “Okay, I did it mostly to protect Daniel. And you know what? If anyone ever threatened you, and I don’t care who made the threat, I would do whatever it took to protect you. Melanie, I still love you, you know that, don’t you?” She stared at me, anticipating an answer. I replied, “I love you too – I never stopped.” We both smiled and then we embraced. We held each other a moment until she warned, “We better let go, I don’t need any of these people around here starting rumors. Just remember Melanie – I would never hesitate to do whatever it took to protect you.” We released and I replied, “I have no doubts about that, and I would do likewise for you.”
Nicole’s honesty and re-affirmation of her feelings was refreshing. We continued on our journey and soon approached the church she was getting married in. It seemed different from what I was used to in Oregon or Washington. Churches in the northwest seemed to reflect a modern architectural appearance. This church had more of a large drawn, one-story house look to it with a huge cross in front. I cannot even remember the name of the place but I remember it had a very fundamentalist feel to it.
We walked in and some of the people came over and started talking with Nicole. A rather tall, skinny man approached me and asked, “Hello young lady and welcome! What’s your name?” I replied and told him I was friends with Nicole. He responded, “You are lucky to have such a nice woman as a friend. So could I ask where you fellowship Melanie?” I said I considered myself a Christian but never went to church. He smiled, “Fair enough, Just a warning though – I will be praying that the spirit enters you and gives you a witness while you are visiting us.” He then excused himself and went over to talk with some of the women in the kitchen. I was left standing there and wondering why I would get a visit from “the spirit” now when I had never felt anything any other time.
I caught up to Nicole and asked what plans she had for the rest of the day. She said she was scheduled to have dinner with the pastor, his wife, Daniel and his mom. She apologized for not having more time to spend with me but for some reason failed to ask how long I was staying. She then asked if I could come into the bathroom with her – which surprised me as neither of us was prone to making the bathroom into a communal meeting place as many women did.
Nicole said she could not explain why to me but that she was sorry I was not able to be part of her wedding party. She was hiding something but I could not get anything out of her. She said, “You are the only true friend I have ever had and that will never change.” She then hugged me and gave me a sorrowful look. For a brief second I felt like we re-connected on an even deeper level than in the car. She then let go and asked me never to mention what she had talked about to Daniel no matter what.
I did not have much more time with Nicole that weekend. I had been invited by the landlady to dinner that evening, which was awkward to say the least. I accepted and spent the early evening trying to find something to talk about with her and her husband. She mentioned that both her sons were in the military and would have enjoyed meeting me – I did not know what she was hinting at but I was not receptive to what I believed she meant. Still, I did my best to find things to talk about other than my favorite topics of psychology or nature. Finally she offered to take me back to my apartment recognizing that I must be exhausted from my trip.
That evening I slept fairly well. The big day was soon to arrive and I needed to be ready by 10am for the wedding and reception. I would also need to buy something to eat before their landlady picked me up. I had hoped maybe Nicole might stop by that evening but she never did.
I had attended my mom’s wedding at Gerald’s church. It had been really ornate and filled with ritual. This seemed more like something from a movie featuring a southern small-town wedding. We had arrived a bit late and the landlady and I wound up close to the back of the church. A large wall fan spun around in an attempt to circulate the air – it was very hot this day. I looked out the window and noticed the sky darkening. Soon the sound of thunder combined with bursts of bright lightening seemed to steal the show away from the events taking place inside the church.
Soon Nico
le came out dressed in white and looking quite beautiful. Her gown was quite conservative, covering her arms and cut modestly in the front. She had a traditional veil and held a small bouquet of flowers. I had expected Daniel to at least wear a formal tuxedo but instead he had a modest, but nice-looking, suit. I looked towards the front and noticed Nicole’s mother and a couple of guys in their 40s who I assumed were Nicole’s brothers. I did not know anyone else there, except for the minister I had met yesterday. I felt totally out of place. The ceremony even made me feel more isolated as now my only true friend was creating a bond with Daniel that seemed to connect her more with these strangers than with me. I wondered if it would have been better to have stayed at home rather than re-open my feelings of connection with Nicole only to have them severed again. Yet it had always, after all, been Nicole and Daniel. I was the third party it seemed, even when I had, for a brief time, been at the center of Nicole’s life. I wondered if maybe that had only been an illusion.
After the wedding I felt alone. I did not feel comfortable in this alien atmosphere. I also felt cast aside as people who knew each other began to mingle. Even when I said hello to Nicole’s mother she was so caught up in the emotions of the day so we only exchanged a few sentences. I waited for the reception to talk with Nicole but that opportunity only came an hour after the beginning of the festivities. I thought it was strange that there were men outside smoking as well as alcohol being served inside a church, but I guessed the cultural norms were different in this little town.
Nicole finally broke away from the crowds, who were showering her with adoration, and came over to greet me. I congratulated her and told her it was a beautiful wedding. We hugged and she asked me to promise to invite her to my wedding someday. I assured her I would. Then Daniel suddenly came over. I had never known him to drink but he was noticeably intoxicated. He took Nicole by the waist and pulled her back towards him. He asked, “So Melanie, here you are in a church where no funeral is taking place – I am so impressed. Tell me, what do you think of my bride? Today I made her totally mine. Oh, sorry for being rude, how are you doing Melanie?” Nicole seemed extremely uncomfortable. I would never have pictured Daniel like this but there he was, staking out his territory, and making sure I was cut down in the process. I kept my composure and answered, “I am doing fine Daniel – I just graduated college and now I am attending graduate school in psychology.” He sneered at me, and in a sarcastic tone he stated, “Wow, a clone of Mark I see. Going into teachings or maybe some other field like, oh I don’t know, a couples counsellor? You would be so good at that.” I did not want to create a scene – I saw his asinine behavior as a by-product of the alcohol. I just said, “Well, counselling would be interesting. I might leave that option open.”
Melanie's Awakening Page 2
