4 Go to Dumdumland

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4 Go to Dumdumland Page 3

by Patrick Edgeworth

Mia and Sami peer about for Freddie and Claudie. But all they can see are the citizens of Dumdumland. And what a sight it is. “Look,” says Sami.

  She points to some people going by on their hands and knees, being taken for a walk by their dogs.

  “Think they sniff each other’s bums?” says Mia.

  “People don’t sniff each other’s bums!” says Sami.

  “Maybe they do in Dumdumland,” says Mia.

  And, sure enough, they do.

  The girls collapse in giggles at the sight. And don’t stop until they see a woman hopping along towards them like a kangaroo. Boing! Boing! But there is something else about her which makes them stare.

  “Excuse me,” says Mia. “Why have you got a banana in your ear?”

  “Oh”, says the woman, “I must look so stupid.” And she sticks a banana in her other ear as well. “That’s better,” she says. And she hops on her way, past a weedy little fellow pulling a heavy cart. It would be a lot easier, think the girls, if he didn’t have his horse in the back. Not that the horse is complaining. It is playing a banjo and singing: “He’s so dumb, he’s so dumb. He’s so dumb, dumb, dumb”.

  “Come on,” says Mia to Sami. “Freddie and Claudie must be here somewhere.”

  And they take off, dodging through the crowd calling their names. But they are not to be seen. What is to be seen is a large yellow dog lolling in the sun. Sami, fearless as always, and loving anything with fur, scampers over to it.

  “Careful! It might bite”, says Mia. But it is too late. Sami is already hugging it. The dog obviously approves, because it smiles and lets out a lazy “Meow.”

  “Meow?” says Sami. “Dogs don’t meow.”

  “I do animal impressions,” says the dog. “That was me doing a duck.”

  “A duck!” says Sami.

  “A Dumdum duck.”

  Mia looks on, mouth dropping. First, a singing horse, now a talking dog. But she has other things on her mind. “Come on, Sami, we’ve got to find—”

  “Want to hear me do a mouse?” says the dog, cutting in.

  “Go on then,” says Sami.

  It’s alright for her, thinks Mia. Being younger Sami isn’t going to get the blame when they get home short one brother and sister.

  “It’s alright for you, Sami” says Mia, “you’re not going to get the – “

  “Right, here we go,” says the dog. “My impression of a mouse.” And he gives out a long M-o-o-o-o-o!

  “Moo?” says Sami, “mouses don’t moo!”

  “They do so,” says the dog. “Especially when they chase cats.” It is time to introduce himself. “I’m Dumdum Dog.”

  “I’m Sami.”

  “Shake,” says Dumdum Dog stretching out a paw. But before Sami can shake it, he uses his other paw to shake it himself.

  “Oh,” says Sami, getting the idea. And taking one of her hands in the other, she shakes them.

  “Sami!” says Mia, with a touch of sarcasm, “now you’ve met yourself, let’s go”

  Dumdum Dog is about to speak when something hurtles his way which wipes the smile from his face. His natural enemy is almost upon him.

  “Hello!” he says, giving the traditional Dumdum farewell, and races off chased by a barking cat.

  “Come on,” says Mia to Sami, “we’ve got to find them!”

  And they set off again calling out, “Freddie, Claudie!”

  “We’re here,” say two familiar voices.

  Mia and Sami spin around with relief. But the only thing they can see are two ice-creams bobbing in the air.

  “Where are you?” says Mia and Sami.

  “Here,” they hear Freddie say. “We’re eating ice-cream.”

  And, sure enough, two lick-shaped blobs disappear from both ice-creams.

  “We’re inbisible,” says Claudie.

  “We’re not inbisible,” says Freddie, “we’re invisible!”

  “I can see that,” says Mia.

  “Cool,” says Sami. “How did you get invisible?”

  “You just eat this yummy ice-cream,” says Freddie.

  “Yummy,” added Claudie.

  Mia and Sami watch, mouths watering, as another blob vanishes from each ice-cream.

  “Where did you get them?” says Mia.

  “They give them to you over there,” says Freddie. “At the invisible ice-cream shop.”

  His ice-cream turns and points out where. Mia and Sami look to see a row of little buildings with a gap in the middle.

  “That’s where it is,” says Freddie.

  Just my luck, thinks Mia, the Invisible Ice Cream shop is invisible. And then she has a thought. “Let us have a lick of yours,” she says, in the general direction of the floating ice-creams.

  “No, it’s mine,” says Freddie. “No, no, no,” says Claudie.

  Mia plays her trump card. “Mum says we should always share.”

  Being the eldest sister isn’t all bad, she thinks, as she snatches the nearest ice-cream. And Sami does the same. The ice-cream is so yummy they don’t really hear the protests.

  What they do notice is bits of them are starting to disappear. First, the top half of Mia’s arm, leaving the end holding the ice cream floating in front of her. Next, one of Sami’s legs vanish, so she looks like a stork. A stork eating ice-cream.

  And that isn’t all. Bits of Claudie and Freddie are re-appearing. First Claudie’s feet, bouncing up and down in temper – and no sign of Claudie. Then Freddie’s hand trying to grab the ice-cream back – all on its own. Mia and Sami take another quick lick and hold them up out of reach.

  “Thanks,” says a low-flying pig as it plucks both ice-creams from their grasp and keeps going. And being a pig, it shoves both of them in its mouth at once – and vanishes.

  More of Claudie and Freddie pop into view. A nose. An ear. A bum. And Mia’s arm and Sami’s leg. A moment or two and they are all back to normal. Squabbling. But this time it is about ice-cream – or, rather, the lack of it. Something puzzles Sami.

  “Why don’t we stay invisible?”

  Mia has no idea. But when you’re somebody who thinks they know everything, you’ve got to say something. “I guess we ran out of invisibility!” she says.

  “Close,” says a friendly voice. “You have to eat all of the ice-cream. Then you’re invisible for the whole day.”

  They turn to see Dumdum the yellow dog behind them, only now he is purple.

  “I thought you were yellow just now,” says Sami.

  “I get chased by one cat and you think the worst,” says the dog. “Anyway, ice-cream. By order of the Mayor,” he says, “the children of Dumdumland have to eat one every day to keep invisible.”

  “Why?” says Sami.

  A terrifying noise rumbles across the town. Boom-boom! Bang-bang! Crash!

  The Dumdum people scurry for cover in all directions: through windows, down drains, into water barrels, anywhere they can hide. In a moment the place is empty and the kids are alone. Except for Dumdum Dog who is too scared to do anything except tremble like an anxious jelly.

  Boom-boom! Bang-bang! Crash!

  “What is it?” says Mia.

  “It’s the…it’s the Giant,” says Dumdum Dog in the tiniest of voices.

  “The GIANT!” they say as one.

  “Shhh!” says the dog, “Or he’ll get you!

  CHAPTER FOUR: Giant problems

 

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