A sob wracked my throat. “It’s Myles.” I covered my face with my hands and allowed the hot, angry tears to fall from my eyes.
I didn't hear Zane nor Anahita sit down next to me, but I felt it when Zane put his arm around my shoulder, and I felt Anahita's closeness as she sat on the other side.
“He wants you to feel like you have nothing left,” she whispered.
“I have nothing left from my human life,” I sobbed.
“That’s material shit,” Zane grumbled. “You still have your sister. You still have your friends.” There was a pause as I watched him glare at Ajax. “Well, at least those who care.”
Ajax snorted.
“Parts of the normalcy that once existed are still there,” he continued.
My heart squeezed, recognizing what he said was true, but- “Everything is now different. And now I can’t even come home.”
“Then rise from the ashes, Caden.” Anahita squeezed my shoulder. “Become the phoenix that Myles isn’t counting on and claim what is yours.”
They allowed me a few moments to cry and feel broken hearted on the lawn that used to be my home. To mourn my humanity and everything that I had lost from that. But eventually, even that had to be put on hold when we heard the sounds of sirens from the fire trucks that Zane must have called.
We stood up together, and I wiped my eyes. I turned to Ajax who had just stood by.
“If you truly want your revenge,” I started, feeling my anger and hatred take hold. “There is a house on Elm Street, down this street. House number 1984. Myles’ master or sire, or whatever you call him, is there. Or his nest is. I am not sure. But the vampire that truly started this all, that created Myles, and caused everything to go down was there a couple of days ago. He would be the one responsible for all of this besides Myles.”
Ajax and Zane shared a look, and Zane gave him a subtle nod. I wasn’t sure what the exchange was about, but it appeared that Ajax was silently asking permission to go after him.
“Just be careful,” I continued. “I don’t know your abilities or how you handle Scelesti vampires. If you are stronger than them or those that hunt them. He's a master, and he appears to be a very old master."
Ajax gave me a deadened look. “Everything dies eventually.” And then he walked away, leaving us to hustle back to the SUV as the sirens got closer.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Coming back to Underhill was surreal and full of emotion that I had previously lacked. I was back to being one hundred percent, and I wasn't sure if Meredith's potion had been given to me prematurely. But regardless, I had continued my silent mourning of my lost humanity on the way back. I wasn't expecting Meredith and Nate waiting by the garage door for our return, but they were there with eager and anxious expressions. Finn was a little farther back, somewhere in the open space between the family room, kitchen, and hallway entrance, pensively waiting.
“Well, where’s your stuff?” Finn demanded when we came in, disregarding my grief-stricken expression.
I gave him a glare through red-rimmed eyes.
“What happened?” Concern filled Meredith's voice.
My despair took a back seat to sudden irrational anger sparked by her question. I wanted to yell that everything happened the minute I was brought into the Mundus Noctis. That it was everyone’s fault that was connected to that supernatural world for everything that I lost. I could feel my face start to twist with unreleased fury, about ready to spew my vitriol. But then I saw Meredith and Nate past my bitterness, and I remembered what I still had. I still had them in my life, and they were my best friends. I felt my contempt ebb away, and my stance relaxed from its tensed up posture.
“Myles burned down my house. There’s nothing left,” I choked on the words.
Meredith rushed over and gripped me in a heart-wrenching embrace. I buried my head in her shoulder and allowed myself a few more tears.
"That asshole!" Nate shouted from behind Meredith. And Finn's wrath was palpable through the use of his power as the room got suddenly colder again, and I heard the cracking of crystals on glass.
When I pulled away from Meredith, I only caught Finn’s backside as he stormed down the hallway.
“He’s scary when he’s pissed,” Meredith remarked, to which I nodded.
“He’s trying to find a way to calm himself down. Because if he doesn’t, he’s going to kill Myles and put your life in jeopardy,” Zane responded.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“Because I am doing the same.” Then Zane walked toward the basement entrance.
“Men are such temperamental creatures,” Anahita shrugged a shoulder our way giving us her version of a sympathetic look, which was still aloof, but at least she had tried.
"Um, I'm a man, and I'm not stomping off like that."
Anahita gave him a fake pout and slid the back of her finger down his cheek, to which he flinched. “Not yet. But one day, you will be.”
Meredith and I snickered, and Nate gave us an irritated look.
Anahita turned back toward us. “I didn’t want to be the one be all pushy about this, but you’re running out of time.”
Internally I cringed. Anahita wasn't wrong, and I had to stuff my emotions back inside to handle what was coming.
She nodded her head toward the basement. “Zane has a set of armor for you downstairs.”
We followed her down into the basement, only to see Zane leaning against the wall of mirrors in the gym with his arms crossed over his chest and a set of clothing folded on a workout bench. He didn't even bother to look at us when we walked in, but raised an eyebrow and was staring at the tips of his boots. His lips didn't even quirk, and there was no indication of his previous emotion. He was trying to play aloof, calm, and collected to the best of his ability, which meant that he was more concerned than ever before.
“Feeling better?” I quipped.
He raised the other eyebrow as if to say “you really want to do this?”
Anahita went straight for the clothing and picked them up tenderly as if they were like her children. After seeing her clothes, it was entirely possible that she felt that way. She held the top out to me under my chin, visually testing the fit of it. It was a blue-black, long-sleeved shirt that to the average person, could be mistaken for the Under Armor brand. But to those with keener eyesight, it was in fact armor. Incredibly small, smaller than the normal eye could see, blue-black circlets were linked together like chain mail.
I ran my hand over the metal fabric, and it turned a brighter blue at my touch and faded back to the dark blue-black after my touch receded.
"It's touch-sensitive," Anahita explained. "If one of the links breaks, it and the area around remains that pastel blue until it’s fixed.”
“Magic?” I felt a slight humming under my fingertips from the fabric. It wasn't as bold as the Fae or Druid magic that had been prevalent in my life recently. In fact, it was a very different feeling like the chain mail was connected like magnets rather than metal links and repelled against touch.
Anahita nodded. “Mage magic.”
I tried to remember how the mage guise felt against my skin at my house.
“This magic feels different than the guise at the house,” I said. “Less malevolent.”
“Different mage, different magic,” Anahita shrugged.
“And you guys just have mages and armor manufacturers on a retainer?” Nate snarked.
Anahita cleared her throat and actually looked sheepish. “My childe and his mate-”
“We have a group that we go to,” Zane interrupted. “Go try it on.”
Anahita handed me the top and the leggings, and gently pushed me towards the bedroom.
“Also, there are some additional items on the bed,” Anahita called after me. “To the normal human eye, the chain-linked armor looks like regular clothing, but to us vampires….we can see through the round circlets. You might want to make sure you’re covered.”
I blush
ed, heading toward Zane’s bedroom. Even though the armor covered me almost completely, it would be the most revealing thing I had ever worn. I was grateful to see more articles of clothing on the bed. There was a black vest made out of corseted, but stretchy material that protected my entire front and flaps that covered the sides of my neck, but came together at a V at the base of my neck. Then there were the matching Bermuda like shorts made from the same material. I was glad to see my boots next to the bed in the mass of foreign clothing.
After undressing, I slid on the armor, which pinged light blue in the places I touched until it was on. Then it remained the blue-black material that it was when Anahita had held it up previously. The metal was cool against my skin, but beyond that, I hardly felt like I was wearing anything.
I looked at myself in the mirror and almost giggled aloud. It appeared like I was wearing a thin, spandex wetsuit that was practically painted on. It didn't look like much in the way of "warrior," and even with my own supernatural vision, I couldn't see the skin between the circlets. But I didn't doubt Anahita.
I was about to put the vest on when I saw a couple of gray-black straps on top of the shorts with a note attached.
Holsters as I promised.
- Z
PS – the chest holster goes under the vest
I put the note down back on the bed and grabbed the chest holster. It was like a mini vest but attached at the bottom with snaps from the straps above, which crisscrossed at the back. Just as I put it over my head, I noticed the initials etched on the underside bottom corner. They were mine: CW. Zane had had this holster specifically made for me; so there was no doubt that it would fit perfectly. And it did with openings along the right side angled up towards the top for my stakes; then openings closer to the bottom on the left side angled up for more stakes. So I could grab them with either hand. I ran my hands over the holster once I had attached the straps at the bottom, feeling a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart from Zane's personalized gift.
My hands wanted to linger more on the holster, but I knew I couldn’t stay in the bedroom forever. So, I unzipped the vest from the front and slipped it on. It hugged everything, including the sides of my neck, which actually didn’t feel constricting. It actually felt like what I thought the under armor would feel like: a second skin. As well as the “Bermuda" shorts that I pulled on.
I stretched, making extra sure that the material wasn’t a hindrance. It really didn't feel much different than wearing regular clothing, just more fitted. I still checked to make sure the stake holster was accessible under the vest. Putting my hands up to the access holes where the stakes would be held, I noticed that the holster was perfectly placed, which meant the vest had been specifically made for me as well. I got the feeling that everything I was and would be wearing was tailored for me.
I was getting closer to looking like an armored swat member than the water diver that I initially thought, as I looked into the mirror and shrugged. I had a few remaining scraps of gray-black straps that I had to put on. Two wrapped around my forearms and zipped along the insides with two access holes each at the undersides of my wrists. The final piece belted around my waist, and there were lower straps that snapped around my upper thighs, keeping the outside pockets designed for holding more stakes from flapping around.
I sat down next to the bed, putting on the last of my armor: my shin-length combat boots. I was interested to see if finally being garbed in armor made any difference in my appearance. Standing up, I glanced at myself in the mirror once more and was shocked by the image that stared back. The image staring back was the dark dressed warrior that I had only wished I could be. But it wasn't a wish, it was real; from the severity of my hair pulled back into a ponytail to the tips of my steel-toed combat boots. The truth of it gave me an additional push of confidence that I felt pang into the deepest part of my gut. Everything in me finally knew that this was the role I was supposed to play.
I came out of the bedroom already feeling inspired, but the looks on my friends' faces added to that fire. Meredith brought her hand up to her mouth in awe. Anahita clapped, and real joy speared her features.
“I knew they would fit! This is exactly what I was thinking!” She exclaimed, making me realize that she was thrilled about the clothing, not necessarily me. But still, that the armor looked right on me, gave me a positive vibe.
Nate was trying to clear his throat to talk, but the words eluded him. The more I looked at him struggle for words, the more he blushed. Even the tips of his ears started to turn pink. I watched him lick his lips to try again, and when he saw me look at his mouth, his face and ears became redder.
“Wow,” he rasped.
“You fantasy about her like this often, don’t you, Nate?” Meredith whispered loudly in his ear, snickering when the truth became evident from the changes of his features.
I even felt my own cheeks blush.
“Caden has no time for ogling or being ogled,” Zane snarled.
When I turned to give him a dirty look, I was taken back to see any reaction on his face. He had tried to shut me out earlier or at least tried to wall up any emotion. But now his jaw was grinding back and forth, and a predatory luminescent light was flickering in his dark blue eyes.
“We have one more session, hunter,” Zane replied with lips tight around his teeth. It came out more like a low growl than human. It wouldn’t have surprised me if his fangs were extended within his mouth and he was hiding them.
I nodded because I couldn't speak from the lump that had formed the moment I had taken in his restrained response.
Facing each other on the mat, the emotional entanglement between us had reappeared. To be honest, it probably had never left but intertwined deeper over the course of time from our experiences together, and the way he kept looking at me in that otherworldly way. The connection was so palpable that I could reach out and touch the invisible thread that seemed to bond us.
Which was how I knew that our training session was more of a dance goodbye. It was in my best interest to train in my armor, but there was a hint of sadness in Zane's eyes as we advanced, parried, or evaded, which told me this session was the end. The seriousness was outweighed by the intense resignation he was sending out through his movements. He barely advanced, and when I attacked him, he evaded me more than defended himself. I almost felt defeated because it was evident that he was giving up.
After a few moments, I threw down the stakes, and put my hands on my hips.
“What are you doing?” I snapped at him
The sadness was masked with the aloof wall that he built around himself.
“Training,” he replied gruffly.
“I may have been, but you’re gone. You have already checked out. What the hell, Zane?”
I didn’t get any reaction from him, just a glare that told me that he was not going to respond in either fashion.
I sighed, frustrated, and ran a hand over my ponytail. “Do you think I’m going to fail?”
His brow furrowed. “No.”
“Then why this….this…withdrawal?”
His lips tightened, and I knew he wasn't going to answer me again.
Anahita slowly walked over and put her hand on Zane’s bicep. A sudden stab of jealousy hit me that it was so easy for her to be so close to him, and he and I were always at odds with each other. I shrugged a shoulder, trying to dismiss the feeling.
“She’s right. She needs your head to be clear. If you can’t do that, you’re going to fail her.”
He snarled, but instead of following through with what she said, he stormed off.
“What the fuck?” Nate blurted. “How are you supposed to be her cerste-liebsth?” He shouted down the hallway after Zane. “They are supposed to be there for each other! To make each other better! You don’t deserve her!”
The door to the bedroom slammed, and Meredith and I jumped.
“That’s the second time I have heard that word. What is a cerste-liebsth?” I asked quietly once
the tension calmed.
Meredith, Nate, and Anahita looked at each other.
“It’s a partner,” Anahita started to explain hesitantly. “You guys are a matched set.”
“Like fighting? He’s supposed to be my equal?” I inquired further, still not sure I understood it. I mean, our personalities did seem to match each other’s. We were both serious, brooding people. I supposed being a “matched set” explained our connection, but it didn’t explain the romantic feelings I felt toward him. I guess since I was new to the Mundus Noctis, I was misinterpreting signals.
“Something like that,” Anahita murmured.
“Does everyone get one?”
“If they’re lucky,” Meredith replied wistfully.
“Let’s not focus on that,” Anahita waved a dismissive hand. “We need to focus on the issue at hand. Or else it’s not going to matter. Get back on the mat.”
Following her direction, I practiced against her, still completely armored. It was a better match, and I could tell whether or not there was any hindrance with the armor. Instead of my focus being drawn toward Zane's lack of participation. And there wasn’t any obstacle with the armor. It felt like it was just an extension of myself.
“Remember when you face this opponent, he is going to fight differently than me,” Anahita said, after finishing up our session.
“Yeah,” Nate interrupted, “you know he’s going to fight dirty.”
Meredith nodded in agreement. “He will. This hasn’t been a fair challenge at all.”
“You said he was an athlete?” Anahita handed a water bottle to me.
“Football player,” I clarified, taking it from her.
“Then, he will probably fight more like that. So, remember your sessions with Zane-”
“When he wasn’t acting like a child?” Nate edged.
Anahita rolled her eyes. “The sessions when he was more involved, and remember how you evaded and attacked. You’re not built like me, but you have the agility and fluidity to move your body in ways that he will not be able to.”
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