“Go then. I won’t stop you,” I jutted my chin at him. “Just do me one favor.”
There was a slight raise to his eyebrow, indicating that he was still listening to me.
“Stay gone, and never come back.”
A hint of anger peeked behind his hurt eyes as he sauntered up toward me, leaving no more than an inch between us.
“That’s the plan,” he rasped.
So help me, I wanted to physically harm him like he was hurting me. It took everything I had to not.
“I told you I was an asshole,” he said, seeing my rage.
We stared each other down before I stepped back, and he stomped to the bag, forcefully grabbing it and marched passed, purpose in each step. He didn't bother to look at me when he walked by, but there was still a tension that connected us, even as he tried his best to ignore me.
I let myself shake once I heard his deliberate steps go up. And then I collapsed to my knees when I felt Zane leave Underhill and walk away without a trace of his essence. I didn't allow myself to cry until I felt out where everyone else was. They were very close to entering Underhill, and I briefly wondered if they had seen Zane leave. But knowing Zane, he probably kept himself to the shadows to avoid the confrontation.
And although I let a few tears fall, I refused to completely break down. I wouldn't allow myself to break over this asshole, even if my heartfelt smashed. Even when our connection thinned to almost nothing, I refused. I gave myself a few moments to compose myself, knowing that the group was settling back into the manor, taking care of Meredith, and giving me some privacy.
A few more breaths and the wall that I had built around my heart fell into place. I scrubbed my hands over my face, drying any tears that had lingered there, and clapped my hands on my thighs. I stood, determination filling into the cracks. The Venatrix within me came forward, and I allowed her to. It was time to put away the childish emotions that didn’t help anybody, and time to be the huntress that my town, friends, and family needed me to be.
✽✽✽
Later that evening or rather early morning, when the adrenaline had worn off and we had settled, I found myself in the center of a grassy stage again, the sunlight a spotlight shining it's warmth down on me. I couldn’t see beyond my spot as the sun blinded me from everything around me. But I highly doubted I would have seen much anyway because I knew a couple things about what was happening.
I was in a Walker dream again, which meant that Flora was around somewhere. And two, Finn and Ajax' wards were still up. In fact, there was barely a sign of a waiver from an image, which meant, the wards were stronger than before.
“We don’t have much time, do we?” I asked Flora, whom I knew was there somewhere.
Her voice was clear, but there was a strain to it. “I’m afraid not, my little warrior.”
My heart clenched for the second time that night. “Is this goodbye too?” I couldn’t stop the sob that crept up from my throat.
“Not forever.” There was a note of sadness. “Nothing in the Mundus Noctis is ever gone for good.”
The foreshadowing in her statement slithered down my spine like a premonition, but there was so much loss in my life that I couldn’t imagine all that statement implied.
“So you will be back when the wards loosened?”
“I’m afraid that those wards will never be loosened. They are there to protect you from your Uncle and other Fae. Not to mention other powerful magic users. There is no way Finn is ever going to release them.”
"So when then?" My goodbye with Zane was still too fresh that not being able to communicate with Flora felt close to abandonment. I couldn't stop the tears that gushed forward.
Her voice became a tender caress that she couldn’t physically manifest. “When the time is right.”
I hiccupped a sob.
“I will always be here,” she whispered with strain, her voice fading from the power of the magical wards. “I will be watching you. So, make good decisions.” She pulled in enough of her internal power to give me a kiss on my cheek.
There was a comfort to her words about watching me, even as I cried silently. And I heard her humming the songs from when I was a small child. Songs that I remembered well that made me feel safe and completely loved. In my heart, I felt Flora there. She would always be there.
The dream began to fade with her humming, and I fell back into a deep sleep.
Epilogue
A week and some days later….
It had taken about a week for the sky to completely lighten. Anahita had said that it was because Obscurus was still in the area, which was terrifying and led to Anahita and Finn making sure I didn’t leave Underhill until then. Of course, this was a little problematic when school re-started at the neighboring city. But good-old, "uncle" Finn took care of that when he called the school to let them know I was helping in the care of Sera and I would be out as long as necessary. This actually wasn't too entirely far from the truth; especially when Sera received a three-man (Anahita, Finn, and Ajax) escort from the hospital to Underhill while Nate and Meredith practically guarded me. And eventually, because at the time we didn't know how long Obscurus would be staying around, after a lengthy conversation, Sera, Anahita, and Finn felt it was safer and made more sense to have me unenroll at Erie High School and enroll through homeschooling, which was basically computer classes. And that was one step closer to the end of any normality that I had.
However, Meredith and Nate got to go back though, under the safety of Ajax of course; since Obscurus was "only after me." My protests that he could get to me through my friends were dismissed when Meredith with the help of her mother dived back into witchcraft, and she and Nate were ridiculously decorated with warded jewelry. And it was comforting to know that Ajax was with them, even if I wasn't entirely too sure how strong Ajax was to go up against Obscurus.
I knew that he still had some sort of feelings for Meredith and I didn’t doubt that he would make sure she was safe. He forgot to place his indifferent mask on his face when Meredith accompanied by Nate and me had greeted Sera at the entrance. It was adorable to see how tender his face became when he saw Meredith before he remembered himself even if he was still wary about Underhill and Finn.
He still refused to enter past the magical gate when he helped escort Sera to our "new home," but he didn't look angry or annoyed anymore. I think he had accepted that neither Finn nor I intended to disrupt the balance in the Mundus Noctis that Druids made sure held in place. And the more he came to Underhill, the more he relaxed; which was often because Meredith and Nate were by daily. Of course, Ajax said he was coming by as their "protector," and most of it was true, but there was a part of him that he forgot to hide when he was around Meredith. His only request when he was around was that we talked outside.
The first few days Meredith, Nate, and Ajax came by was to give me the local rundown. According to Ajax, because the "human mind wasn't capable of truly believing the ‘strange' and ‘unusual,'" nobody thought anything about the constant dark or the rising death toll. They just dismissed the eternal night concept completely and actually didn't remember that the day before was just as black as the current one. With all the deaths and disappearances, some believed it was some sort of new messed up drug that was causing cannibalism. And those that had disappeared, it was mostly because they were the ones on the drugs and "good riddance." This was hard for me to digest that people could simply "dismiss" reality, and I was closer to believing that Obscurus had a special magic that could spread through the fog to distort the human mind's memories or perception. Regardless of what was true, humans didn't think twice about the oddities that happened to their city.
Some of those "missing" were, in fact, part of Myles' army, which meant they sided with the Scelesti so I could understand how people thought "good riddance." Some, Ajax had informed us, were part of the Mundus Noctis living in the human world and were scared shitless when Obscurus' presence was noticed. So they fled.
&n
bsp; Ms. Hollander was one of them. Apparently, the day I had talked to her was the last day anyone had seen her. She disappeared without explanation or a word to anyone. Because of the timing, there was a rumor going around that she and Myles were fooling around on Sera, and ran off together to elope. I wasn't sure what I thought about that explanation. I was glad people thought he was a douchebag for doing that to Sera, but I felt that he deserved more hatred for all the evil he created in Erie. And somewhere, down deep, I was pretty sure Ms. Hollander warranted a better outcome.
But other than those pieces of news, not much else was going on. Meredith was still miffed at Ajax. She completely disregarded his presence, but I knew she still had feelings for him. Especially since she was the first out the door when they had arrived with Sera. Time would heal that little wound, I was sure of it. It was just a matter of how long could she stay mad at him. Meredith wasn’t someone who held grudges long, but long enough for the other person to get the point not to do it again. She had even calmed down to at least conversational aloofness by the time of Jesse’s memorial service. Of course, it could have been the situation.
Ajax had said that Jesse had wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread in a river because “a river would find its way back home" or whatever Jesse meant by that. Nate, Meredith, and I were surprised to find out that Jesse was actually about ninety years old. Apparently, Ajax had met him during World War II, and they had bonded; Ajax sharing his life force with him. Which meant that Jesse didn't age, but he was still mortal. I wasn't sure on the specifics about that. It was one of the mysteries of the Mundus Noctis for me. Actually, there was so much about the Mundus Noctis that was still a mystery to me.
But the memorial service was something that was all too human and mortal, as we stood on the edge of a river that wasn't too dissimilar from the one in my sleep that I connected to with Flora, whom I hadn't seen since the night of Zane's departure and my challenge. I was sure I felt her around though when I stepped outside Underhill. As far as I knew, there were no immediate messages beyond the grave that needed attention.
And at this moment, it was family and friends gathered on the grassy edge remembering a loved one. Meredith with her mother, standing side by side. Nate with his parents behind him, hands on his shoulders, showing loving parental support. My own family unit trying their best to demonstrate their own brand of love and support. Really, it wasn’t so much Sera. Especially after I had finally told her that we were blood cousins. She had smiled and just said to me that it confirmed her right to be overly protective and more sisterly. Which she never hesitated to demonstrate; including this occasion of mourning as she had her arm draped around me, pulling me close as Ajax solemnly talked about memories with Jesse.
When she had come “home,” things had been a little awkward and distant. We had basically lost everything except the clothes that we had come to Underhill in. In her case, she had lost everything that was in our rental house. She had come "home" in clothes that were new and bought by Finn, which was more than "awkward." And we were solely dependant on Finn at the moment, but he never acted as if this was an issue. In fact, he had just taken up the mantle of responsibility as if it was expected.
She was uncomfortable "living" in the same complex as a vampire after having been attacked by one. Even if the vampire that had attacked her was her former boyfriend, which made her emotions challenging to process. She had dated someone who had ultimately betrayed her, and beyond myself, she had no desire to trust anyone else at the moment, which made her late night talks with Finn somewhat unusual in my opinion.
Late one night, I had gotten up to get something to drink in the kitchen, and I had found Finn and her murmuring in the study. They were still on either side of the room, but she was talking to someone other than myself. I didn't ease drop, even though I wanted to. They had left the door open, so I knew it wasn't anything secretive. And Finn had an uncanny way of knowing when I was around, and they never stopped when I walked by. I had just assumed it was adult things or even Sera adjusting to this new setting. Plus, the more she talked with Finn, the more at ease she seemed to be at the manor.
Finn, however, never seemed at ease, even as he stood slightly behind Sera and me at the memorial, still keeping a healthy distance. He was always on alert, checking around the manor, disappearing at different times of the day. I was pretty sure Finn was checking to make sure we were not discovered by any other Fae. He was always tense and distracted. I was dying to ask him questions about my mother, but he never seemed to have a moment to just talk; unless of course, it was with Sera, and then he seemed to have an abundance of time.
I had no luck getting any information out of him. I actually got more out of Anahita, who showed her support for Jesse by just showing up with us in the daytime. Ajax wanted Jesse’s memorial service to be the first sunny day since the challenge. And the twenty-first of October fit the bill as the sun was quite warm at noon. And even though the sun was at our backs, it still seeped away the magical life from Anahita, leaving her paler than what Zane had been the first time I had seen him in the sun. And her veins were slightly noticeable from the translucency of her skin. Ultimately, it made her look like she had pale bluish white skin, very similar to the Scelesti I had seen during the night of my challenge. She hid her sleep-deprived eyes behind sunglasses, like Zane had done, but still stood with us in silence as Ajax continued sharing Jesse's life story.
We were getting along better. I trusted Anahita about as much as I trusted Ajax, and allowed her into my world as a teacher and trainer for the Mundus Noctis and Venatrix. She was an outstanding fighter, just as good as Zane was, even if she did have a different style than he did, and surprisingly, more patient than Zane was. It made getting along with her more relaxed. Although, once in a while, I did have a moment that my emotions rose to the surface when she moved into Zane’s room.
Our connection from the modified second Vessel spell had practically thinned to nothingness about a week ago. Before then, I could still feel him around Erie. There was even a day that I experienced Zane's pain. He must have gotten into some sort of fight or trouble, because I felt his injuries, him being nearby. And I had wanted to go to him, wanted to take care of him, but Finn, Sera, and Anahita refused to let me out of the manor. It didn't help that the severity of his injuries affected me on a certain level. I didn't have much strength to do much of anything other than function that day. And then, like overnight, the next day, I didn't feel Zane at all. He wasn't in the city, and I couldn't tell where he had gone; only that he was alive. I was sure of that much.
So, it made sense for Anahita to move into Zane's room, knowing that he was gone entirely, but it still hurt. And there was some jealousy there as well, knowing that she had gotten to share an intimate part of him that for some reason, I felt like I should have had. Not necessarily sexual, per se, but that he had shared himself wholly with Anahita, and I only got to see glimpses of who he truly was. I couldn’t quite explain it, but I knew it probably had something to do with being cerste-liebsth.
So there was a day or so that I took those negative emotions out on Anahita when we trained. Shockingly, she didn’t begrudge me on it but was actually extremely patient with me. She was also patient with me about not feeling ready to continue fighting Scelesti at the moment. Parts of me still felt injured, even though I was mostly healed. The cuts on my face that Obscurus had caused, healed within hours. But the wound at my side still took a little longer due to the inserted object being made out of iron; apparently one of my weakness. And in the end, left an ugly scar in my front and my back. It was the second physical scar that I had obtained from this challenge. The first being my initiation cut on my cheek that would now forever look like a cross.
I had some emotional scarring from the challenge as well. I still felt a little ill and depressed about taking a life; knowing that I had killed someome that I knew; someone who was once human regardless of Myles being evil. And there was a chance that it would
n't be the last time; especially since Korina was still out there. I was no longer the innocent teen that just wanted a normal life; I was now the tool that I was born to be. And even if Meredith and Nate found something positive and uplifting with me being a part of their world, I was less than enthused.
Even more so, hearing Meredith, Ms. Weber’s and Mrs. Spencer’s sniffles from the memorial service, reminding me that we had lost another person to the harshness of the Mundus Noctis.
“But, Jesse wouldn’t want us to mourn for him, especially since he had lived such a healthy life,” Ajax began to conclude. “He would want us to celebrate his life, and make sure his death wasn’t in vain.”
Ajax turned his back to us, pouring Jesse's ashes into the river. The action pulled me back to Flora and Martin's memorial service, and I sucked in a grieving breath. Sera must have remembered as well because I felt her squeeze me tight.
Ajax placed the urn on the ground and picked up a flower, dropping it into the river as well. The rest of us followed his act, releasing our own floral pieces of remembrance.
“And what better way to celebrate life than celebrating the birth of our own Venatrix today as well,” Ajax announced.
I cringed internally. I understood wanting to "celebrate life," but it felt wrong to me to celebrate my birthday after Jesse's memorial service. I had even been willing to move my own "celebration" to another day, but apparently, in the Mundus Noctis, there was very little "waiting" for anything, especially if one was human. The life expectancy for a human in the Mundus Noctis was shorter than being a regular human. And although, I wasn't quite "human," in Ajax' mind, I was human enough that it mattered.
“Yes, there is a gourmet spread in the pavilion that Meredith and I put together,” Ms. Weber announced, dabbing her eyes.
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