Broken by the Bully (Beauty in the Breaking Book 1)
Page 7
Dad. Oh no!
Internal organs turning to liquid from sheer terror, I spill out of bed so fast I don’t realize Asher is standing beside it until I tumble into him and trip over my own feet.
He catches me with steady hands on my upper arms and whispers, “There are clothes laid out for you on the chair by the window. Change fast. Don’t worry about shoes. It’ll be easier to climb without them.”
“Climb?” I gasp, flinching as the pounding starts up again and a different male voice shouts from the porch downstairs, “We’re not here to cause any trouble, Asher. We just need to know that Emma’s here of her own free will and then we’ll go.”
“My brother said some of the cops are on your dad’s payroll,” Asher says. “We can’t trust them. Get dressed and we’ll go out the window. I used to sneak out all the time sophomore year. It’s perfectly safe. Just hurry, okay?”
I nod and rush over to the chair. Asher sounds calm and steady, but I can see the tension in his frame as he locks the bedroom door and wedges his desk chair under the handle at an angle. I pull on a large black t-shirt that I assume is his and a smaller pair of gray sweatpants that feel cozy and soft against my legs.
A thought drifts through my head—We should petition Dad to allow us to make winter dresses out of this fabric—that I dismiss with a clench of my jaw.
I’m not going back to wearing heavy dresses year-round or back to a life where another person has control over what I wear, eat, say, and think.
From now on, all of those things—and this life—are mine.
As Dad pummels the door and shouts a one-minute warning, I join Asher by the window, where he’s already lifted the pane. He pushes out the screen and it clatters softly onto the roof below.
I flinch, but a peek past Asher’s body reveals the parking lot is peaceful and quiet. As I step through the window onto the gently slanted roof, I see that Dad’s truck and a police car are parked in the small driveway in front of Asher’s place. But the car’s lights aren’t spinning, and no one appears to be waiting with the vehicle.
“It’s good we’re leaving,” I say softly, holding tight to Asher’s hand. “If these aren’t crooked cops, why aren’t the lights on? And why go around to your back porch instead of knocking on the front door by the garage?”
He nods and gives my fingers a squeeze. “That’s what I was thinking. You ready? It’s a little nerve-wracking the first time, but just follow my footsteps and you’ll be fine.”
“I’m ready,” I assure him, and I am.
Creeping along the two-foot-wide ledge that connects the second-story windows of the condos on this side of the complex and shimmying down a tree to the ground is nothing compared to facing my father wearing Asher’s clothes with the text I sent him looming large in the air between us.
The text…
As Asher leads the way into the woods, moving fast, I whisper, “Should I send my dad another text? Telling him that I’m with you of my own free will and everything is fine?”
“I’m not sure it would make a difference,” Asher says. “Probably the best thing we can do is wait until morning and then go straight to the police station. That way, if these guys are out here pounding on doors without permission, they’ll be the ones in trouble, not us. The entire department isn’t crooked, just a few people. And my brother should be here in an hour or so. He’ll come with us. I was texting with him not long before they showed up. He told us to go to his girlfriend’s house if there was trouble.”
His words make my synapses fire again as I connect the pieces. “You told him that we sent my dad a text?”
“Yeah, and he said something like this might happen.” He grunts beneath his breath. “I really hate it when he’s right.” He turns left at a fork in the trail, but I hang back, my eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light.
He pauses and turns to glance over his shoulder. “You all right?”
“Why did you tell him?” I ask, the fact that he was texting his brother about me in the middle of the night sending dread creeping in to tighten my stomach.
“It just kind of slipped out. While we were talking about other stuff.”
“What other stuff?”
He waves me forward with one arm. “It doesn’t matter right now. We need to get out of here. I doubt they’ll come looking for us in the woods, but if they do this would be a great place for Bob to order the shit beat out of me without any witnesses around.”
The blood rushes from my face, making my cheeks feel cold despite the warm summer night. “You think he would…” I trail off, bringing a hand to clutch at the top of my t-shirt. “Yeah, he probably would, wouldn’t he?” I say, answering my own question. “Especially if he thinks he can keep this quiet by keeping you quiet.” I shake my head slowly back and forth. “He’s probably still hoping he can get me married to Walter before anyone finds out I spent the night at your place.”
“Another reason we should keep moving,” Asher says. “Come on, Daisy’s place isn’t far. Just a couple miles.”
“No,” I hear myself say, but the moment the word is past my lips I know it’s the right decision. “We should split up. That way, if Dad finds me, you won’t be around, and he won’t be able to hurt you.”
“No, but he’ll be able to hurt you and that’s not okay.” He crosses back to my side to take my hand. “So come on. We stick together until we get to the station in the morning and then we can put this shit behind us in the safest way possible.”
I frown, wishing I could see his face better in the near darkness. His tone is sending some very mixed messages. On the one hand he seems concerned and determined to keep me safe.
But on the other hand…
“Put the stuff with the police behind us?” I ask. “Or put…us behind us?”
His labored sigh makes the answer clear even before he drops my hand and says, “There is no us, Emma. This was one night. One great night, but I don’t think—”
“But those things you said, about wanting everyone to know I was yours,” I say, fighting tears. “And that ‘us’ sounded good. I thought you wanted to be…together.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too,” he says, pacing a few steps away before he turns back to me. “But even before your dad showed up, I was starting to get a bad feeling in my stomach about this. You deserve better than a guy who treated you like garbage for four years. Better than some asshole who still gets off on saying filthy shit he shouldn’t while he’s in bed with you.”
“I get off on it, too,” I say, my cheeks going hot. “It’s still hard for me to even say things like that, but it’s true. And that’s what I want from now on, Asher. I want to live my truth, not anyone else’s. And my truth is that I love the way you make me feel. I loved being with you tonight, and I…” I gather my courage and force the words out. “I could fall in love with you. If you’ll let me.”
A soft choking sound bursts from his lips. “I already love you, Emma. I’ve loved you since we were kids and I never stopped.” He steps closer again as he adds in a tortured voice, “And that’s how I treated someone I love. I bullied her and tortured her and when you came to me for help my first thought was how I could use your bad situation to my advantage.” He thumps a fist to his chest. “I don’t deserve you, Em. I never have and I never will. The best thing I can do for you is help you finish this and then walk out of your life. For good.”
“No,” I insist, the backs of my eyes beginning to sting. “You do deserve me. And I deserve you. We could be so good together. Can’t you see that?”
“No offense, but what the hell do you know about relationships, C.B.? You haven’t even been out on a date.” He motions back toward the complex. “Because that tonight? That wasn’t a date. That was a hookup. A booty call. Just a little casual fucking, no feelings involved.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I say, but my voice is smaller than it was before.
“Maybe not for you,” he says. “But I’m perfectly capable of havin
g sex just for fun. It’s what I always do, in fact. I fuck for fun and bail when things start getting complicated. It’s what I’ve done with every girl I’ve been with and sorry but…you’re no exception.”
Pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt, even when Dad announced I’d be marrying Walter and ignored my tearful pleas to reconsider, floods through my chest.
But that makes sense.
I know my dad is rigid, inflexible, and not inclined to change his mind. But Asher…
“I had no idea you were such a coward,” I say, my voice thick with tears. “I thought you were strong and tough, but you’re not.” I storm past him, toward the right branch of the trail.
He catches my elbow and holds on tight. “That’s the wrong way. Daisy lives downtown.”
“I’m not going to Daisy’s. I told you, we should split up to keep you safe.”
“You still want to keep me safe?” His grip loosens on my arm. “Even after…”
“Even after you were so afraid of your feelings that you were a complete asshole?” I ask. “Yeah, I do still want to keep you safe. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone.”
I step closer, lifting my chin until my lips are only a few inches from his. “And yes, I’m inexperienced when it comes to boys, but I’m not a fool. I know you care about me, too. If you ever work up the courage to admit that to yourself, I’ll be at Laura’s. And if not…”
On instinct, I lean in, pressing my lips to his.
Instantly the chemistry is there again—so swift and hot it sends sparks dancing across the surface of my skin. He gathers me tight in his arms, kissing me until I’m breathless and I feel him getting hard beneath the track shorts he’s wearing.
“Yeah, it really feels like you can’t stand me,” I whisper as I tilt my hips forward, rubbing against his erection through our clothes.
“I never said I—”
Before he can finish, I push out of his arms. “Take care of yourself, Asher. And don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself, no matter what you or my father seem to think.”
He starts to speak, but I turn and run, jogging down the dirt path in my bare feet, grateful for all the hours I spent walking barefoot through the woods with my little brothers and sisters. The sticks and rocks don’t hurt much at all. My feet are still strong and a little wild, just like when I was a kid.
And somewhere inside, beneath the fear and all the rules I’ve been obliged to obey as I’ve become a woman, that wild girl is still there. She’s still a part of me and she won’t let me down, no matter what.
She won’t let me settle for safety when we could have adventure or “good enough” when we could be living our dreams.
That’s what I want—to live my dreams.
For a few hours tonight, I thought Asher could be a part of my dream life, that he might even grow to be one of the best things about it. But if I was wrong about that…then so be it.
I lift my chin and run faster, willing myself to stay strong and keep going. And I do, even though tears are running down my cheeks and my heart is aching.
I don’t stop until I reach Laura’s house and climb into the treehouse in her backyard. I haven’t told Dad that I’m friends with Laura—or anyone who isn’t a member of the Temperance Valley congregation. But if he does know we’re friends somehow and comes looking for me here, he’ll try the house, not the treehouse in the back, and I’ll have plenty of time to hear him coming and run away again.
I will run from Dad as many times as it takes for him to understand that I will never be under his control again. From now on, all my victories will be my own.
And my mistakes, too—I just hope Asher isn’t one of them.
As I curl up on the old beanbag Laura and I took turns sitting in when we left campus to grab lunch at her place our last semester, I can’t help crossing my fingers and hoping that Asher will look past his fear and see what I see—two people who could be magic together if we’re just brave enough to take a chance.
Epilogue One
Emma
Days go by without word from the boy who taught me how good it can feel to lose control.
Laura’s dads take me to the police station, we sort things out, and I wait for word from Asher.
And wait.
And then wait some more.
A week goes by.
I get a job waiting tables at the diner by the ball field to save up money for school and hear that Walter ended up marrying another girl from Temperance Valley, one of the Proctor family daughters who I’ve never been close to.
Still, I feel for her. She’s just seventeen and they had to get a special license for the ceremony.
I’m so grateful that it wasn’t me that I almost wander by Asher’s place on the way home from work, just to say a quick “thank you.”
But I don’t.
I made my move. The next move—if there’s going to be one—has to be his.
Another week goes by and then another and before I know it, summer’s over. It’s time for Laura and me to pack our bags for freshman year at UT and still, there’s been no word from Asher.
I’m nearly out of hope when on our last evening at Laura’s, I step outside with a basket of clean laundry to load into the car and…there he is. Asher, standing at the end of Laura’s driveway in jeans and a green t-shirt the same color as his eyes, holding a fistful of yellow flowers.
I set the basket by the car and walk toward him, lifting a hand to shield my eyes from the setting sun. “Hey,” I say, my pulse beating in my throat. “Long time, no see.”
“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” he says, looking a little nervous. “Summer school.”
My brows lift. That wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. “But you graduated, right? Or did I miss something?”
“I did, but the baseball coach said my freshman year would be a lot easier if I could knock out Algebra so…I did. Had to study my ass off, but I did it.” His lips curve as he holds out the flowers. “For you.”
“Buttercups?” I ask, though I know exactly what they are. I looked them up the first time Asher sneered the nickname at me our sophomore year.
“Yes. But not just the flowers. I meant the summer school, too. And all the lawns I mowed to pay for room and board at UT. It was all…for you.”
My chest warms and I can feel my heart beginning to melt. “Asher, you don’t have to go to college to be ‘good enough’ for me. I’m not that kind of person. I don’t care what you do for a living as long as you’re happy doing it.”
“I know that,” he says, holding my gaze. “But I care. I want to be successful, and I’ll have a better chance at that with a business management degree to go along with my construction skills. And if I’m at UT, busting my ass to win a second chance with you, it’ll be a lot harder for you to fall in love with some shitfaced frat boy who has no idea how special you are.”
I lift the flowers to my nose, taking a sniff as I peer at him over the blossoms. “A second chance, huh?”
“I know I don’t deserve one, but…” He exhales, his shoulders slumping in surrender. “But I love you. So much. Since that night, since way before that night, all I can think about is you. You’re in my blood, Em, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be worthy of you. Anything you want. If you miss me even a little…”
“Laura told me to make you grovel,” I say, propping my hands on my hips. “To make you grovel and beg and crawl on your belly to lick my feet.”
“I’ll do it,” he says without missing a beat. “Right now, if you want. I’m serious, Emma, I just…need you in my life. Please tell me I’m not too late.”
My lips curve. “You’re not too late. I need you, too.” I hold up my free hand and point a finger at his face. “But if you break my heart again, that’s it. There are no third chances. Those are the rules.”
His eyes fill with gratitude. “I like those rules. And don’t worry. I’m dumb, but not dumb enough to make the same mistake twice.”
“Always,” he promises.
And then he follows me back to the treehouse and we do wicked and wonderful things to each other until the last of the sunset light fades and the fireflies come out to play, each flash of light in the darkness a sign that the world is full of magic.
“Laura’s going to be pissed,” I say, sitting on Asher’s lap in the beanbag chair.
“Because we banged in her beanbag?” he asks.
“No, because I’m going to need to have you over to our dorm room for sexy times at least twice a week,” I say. “Maybe three or four times.”
He laughs softly. “Maybe she’ll find a boyfriend. Or we can hook her up with my roommate. I haven’t met him, but he sounded nice on the phone.”
“You’re nice on the phone,” I say, kissing his cheek.
“We’ve never talked on the phone,” he says, laughter still in his voice.
“Hmm, that’s right.” I shift in his arms, lifting my jean skirt, so grateful that I didn’t bother putting my panties back on after our first time. It makes it so easy to open his jeans, find his hard cock, and impale myself on it with a thankful sigh. “That’s okay, I like you better in person, anyway.”
“Condom,” he groans, but he doesn’t make any effort to pull away. He just squeezes my ass and rocks me on top of him, telling me how beautiful I am as he bites my nipples through my t-shirt.
Just a few minutes later, I come, clinging to his shoulders as bliss rockets through my body, so caught up in the wave I don’t remember that he needs to pull out until he lifts me up into the air with both hands, leveraging me into a standing position as he explodes.
I feel come splash against my inner thigh and brace myself on his shoulders. “Too close,” I pant.
“Way too close,” he says. “I need to get on the pill.”