He pulled on his coat and she walked him to the door. “Good night, my sweet Holly.” He gave her one last kiss and then left the house and got into his truck.
As she watched him, confusion swam in her head. Now the important question was, how much did she want her dream? Would she be happier living here with him, possibly marrying him? Although he didn’t say anything about marriage, there was no doubt that their relationship would develop in that direction if she stayed.
Maybe it was a good thing she was sleeping here tonight, because she had a lot of thinking to do, and she needed peace and quiet to do it.
Hopefully, she’d make the right decision.
SEVENTEEN
Holly popped two pills in her mouth and took a gulp of water to wash them down. Her head pounded with a headache, but she had too much to do today and she couldn’t allow this pain to stop her.
Once she was showered and dressed, she sent a text to Rafe, letting him know she was ready for him to come get her. Last night when she suggested that she sleep at her mother’s house, Holly hadn’t thought ahead of how to get back to the ranch when her mom’s car was there.
Waiting, she sat in her mom’s favorite chair. Her gaze wandered around the room, resting briefly on the couch. Warmth spread through her remembering what she and Rafe had done last night. As much as she wanted that to happen again, she must first think about her actions and how they would affect her future. Her mistake fourteen years ago had taught her to do that.
She moved her gaze from the couch and looked at the family pictures her mother had on the wall, and then she noticed the China hutch in the corner of the room that held not only Mom’s China, but knick-knacks she’d collected over the years. A few of them Holly remembered making in grade school.
Nostalgic memories took over her mind – back when Dad was alive. He loved Christmas as much as his wife. He also loved his daughters. Holly smiled as tears spiked her eyes. How she missed him, especially around this time of the year.
She took a deep breath and blinked the moisture out of her eyes as she turned her thoughts to the present. To Rafe... and his request.
Yesterday with him had been the greatest day of her life. And yes, she wanted more of those kinds of days. But the question was – could she fit him in her life? If he sold the ranch and moved to California with her, he could be a doctor anywhere. But would he want that fast-paced kind of life? When she was off working on movie projects, she’d be gone most of the day, or several days in a row. She wouldn’t get to see him much between her busy schedule and his schedule as a doctor. Perhaps the question should be would he want to be in her life in California? But then, if he wasn’t a guy who committed to a relationship – as Katie had suggested – why would he want to be in Holly’s life at all?
The throb in her head increased, so she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Her emotions were all over the place lately. Was it being back in Timberland that brought on these feelings of homesickness? Or was it the gorgeous cowboy she couldn’t stop thinking about? Or maybe it was that she couldn’t concentrate on her wannabe movie-project. Rafe was such a distraction... or was it because she realized that she had no desire to produce a movie? She had no desire to be a director, either? Of course, she’d finish the Christmas program for her mother’s sake, but for a brief time, nothing seemed to matter.
Yesterday while at the Soup Kitchen, she’d actually stopped thinking about her problems and worries, and focused on the people in need. She had listened to them, and laughed with them. She’d made new friends and reacquainted herself with old friends. For a small segment of her day, she wasn’t thinking of herself, but of them.
The doorbell rang, jerking her out of her thoughts. She jumped up and hurried to the door, excited to see Rafe again. When she opened the door, her heart dropped. Instead of the man she’d hope to see, it was the woman she didn’t want to look upon.
Holly’s blood boiled hot as she recalled every rumor, every bad name, and every judgmental look she’d received in her childhood because of her so-called friend. “Lynda? What are you doing here?”
The other woman wrung her hands against her round belly. The blue coat Lynda wore almost didn’t zip up because of her pregnancy.
“I hope you don’t mind me dropping in unannounced, but when you didn’t come to the ranch last night, I knew I had to see you this morning.”
Lynda’s eyes pleaded with Holly to let her in. Although she hadn’t wanted to talk to Lynda last night, maybe it was time to bring everything out in the open and let bygones be bygones.
Nodding, Holly opened the door wider so the other woman could come inside, and then she closed the door.
“When Rafe told me this morning that you wanted to sleep at your mom’s house for the night, I knew the reason.” Lynda frowned. “I’m not blind, Holly. I know you didn’t want to see me.” Tears gathered in her eyes, but she continued. “We do have a lot of catching up to do, but mostly, I have a lot of apologizing to do.”
Holly motioned to the couch. “Do you want to sit and talk?”
“Yes, if that’s okay. I’m far enough along in my pregnancy, that my ankles are swelling, so standing is something I’d rather not do.”
Holly hadn’t experienced any of that, but she’d heard about it from her sister, Noelle.
Lynda sat on the sofa, and Holly sat in her mother’s heavily cushioned chair. She didn’t say anything, waiting for Lynda to go first.
Lynda licked her lips as her hands continued to fidget on her lap. “I have a lot of explaining to do, I know.” She swallowed noisily. “Most of this I’m sure you’ve already speculated from the conversation we had yesterday, however, I must tell you – and beg for your forgiveness.” She cleared her throat. “When we were young, and you had a crush on Steve, I had secretly started to like him, too. I could tell he only had eyes for you, not me. I was jealous, but I tried not to be. After all, you were my best friend. But over time, jealousy began to eat away at my gut. So, that time at your mom’s rehearsal when I sent you into the prop room to wait for Steve—” She released a shaky breath as the tears thickened in her eyes. “Well, I did something awful. I overheard Rafe telling Cindy he wanted to meet her in the prop room in a few minutes. That’s when I got the idea to send you in there.” She touched a finger to the corner of her eye. “Of course, I don’t need to tell you how that turned out. But I’ve carried around the guilt since then. Over the years in school, I tried to tell you, but I just couldn’t. You were such a good friend to me, and I knew that telling you would ruin our friendship.”
Holly calmly listened to Lynda. Surprisingly, Holly didn’t lose her temper as she’d figured she would. She didn’t even feel like crying, either. In fact, the only thing she felt right now was sympathy. Had she carried this grudge all of these years for nothing? Was Holly really at the point in her life to finally forgive and forget?
“Why did you wait until after graduation to tell Steve about your feelings?” Holly asked.
Lynda hiccupped a laugh. “Because I didn’t want to lose you. I was still in love with him, but every day, watching the other kids tease you and treat you like they did, tore me apart inside, knowing it was all my fault.”
Suddenly, the burdens of the past that had been weighing on Holly’s shoulders for so long, disappeared. She held no hatred for her friend, and no hatred for those who’d teased her. This was the strangest thing she could ever have imagined.
She smiled. “Thank you for telling me. For years I wondered how different my life would be if that hadn’t have happened. But then, a wonderful man told me last night that those trials in my life shaped me into the woman I am today.” She grinned wider. “And, if Rafe hadn’t kissed me in the prop room fourteen years ago, he probably wouldn’t be kissing me today.”
Lynda’s eyes widened as a mixture of relief and happiness formed in her expression. “Oh, Holly. Really? You don’t hate me?”
Holly shook her head. “I was prepared to last night wh
en I figured everything out, but I had Rafe there to comfort me. He told me things that made me put my life into perspective.”
Lynda wiped the moisture from her eyes. “He really likes you, Holly. When I talked to him this morning, I could see it in his eyes. He has strong feelings for you.”
Holly’s heartbeat did a silly flip-flop. “I have feelings for him, too, but...” She quickly stopped herself. She shouldn’t tell his sister-in-law about her doubts.
“But?” Lynda encouraged.
“Forget I said that.”
“Are you worried about his girlfriend, Katie? Well, I mean his former girlfriend.”
Holly shrugged. “I’m worried that he can’t commit to a relationship.”
Lynda’s mouth hung open as she stared blankly at Holly. “He can’t? Says who?”
“Well, take for instance, Katie. He’d dated her for two years and could never fully commit to her. Why didn’t he ask her to marry him? Don’t you think that’s kind of strange?”
Lynda rolled her eyes and snorted a laugh. “You’re kidding me, right? From the way I saw their relationship, Rafe was the one who wanted more, but Katie had to have bigger, better things, which is why she moved to Billings. She told me right after getting the job in Billings, that she finally found a town she could live in and enjoy the big-city comforts.”
Holly scowled. “What? She didn’t like Timberland? Why not?”
Lynda laughed again. “Because there are a bunch of cow-pokes that live here. The town isn’t fancy enough for her.”
Holly gasped. “You’ve been at the ranch, right? You’ve seen all of the nice things Rafe has in the house. That wasn’t fancy enough for her?”
“Oh, it was, but the location wasn’t.” Lynda leaned over and touched Holly’s arm. “But she’s out of the picture, and you’re in it.” She winked.
Holly smiled. “I do like Rafe, but I don’t know if I’m ready to settle down. If you remember correctly, I moved to California to search for my dream. I haven’t found it, yet.”
“Do you still want to be a movie director?”
“Producer, mainly.”
Lynda shook her head. “Do you remember when we were in junior high, and you used to write all of those short stories for our English class? You were a straight A student. The teachers loved your stories, and I thought they were great.”
“Thank you, but where are you going with this?”
“Maybe you need to think outside your dream just a little bit. Tell me, does directing others stress you out?”
Frowning, Holly nodded. “Yeah, a little, I guess. Being in charge of Mom’s Christmas program isn’t what I thought it would be.”
“And how about putting the sets together and trying to come up with the funding for it? That’s got to be a little stressful too, right?”
“Yes, it is.”
“So now tell me,” Lynda paused. “When you were writing your little stories, was that stressful?”
“Oh, not at all. In fact, the words practically flowed from my head to the paper.”
Lynda arched an eyebrow. “And?”
“And what?”
Lynda laughed again and shook her head. “Before a movie is produced, doesn’t it have to have a plot and a script first?”
“Well, of course, but I—” Holly’s mind screeched to a halt as she finally realized what her friend was telling her. Her heartbeat took on an entirely new rhythm of excitement. Hope jumped inside of her, once again. “Oh, my gosh, Lynda. I could write movies!”
Sighing, Lynda nodded as she relaxed against the couch. “Yes, that is something you would excel at doing.”
The startling realization brought Holly to her feet. She paced the front room as her mind spun with possibilities. When she first thought of the story of Christ’s birth being her project, she had written out a different script where the shepherds had the main speaking parts. In the last movie she’d put together with Brian, she’d helped the writer change a few scenes.
Could this be her answer to finding her dream?
Lynda shifted uncomfortably on the sofa as she tried to stand. Once she rose, she moved to Holly and gave her a hug. “I’m glad we’re talking like we used to. I’ve missed this.”
Holly smiled. “Me, too.”
“Promise me we’ll stay in touch?”
Holly nodded. “I would like that.”
“Thank you for not hating me.”
Holly was happy that things turned out so well, too. “I’m just glad it’s out in the open now.”
She walked Lynda to the door and opened it for her. Steve stood at the door, his hand raised to knock. Startled, Holly jumped.
“We’re done,” Lynda said, stepping outside to her husband.
“How did everything go?” he asked suspiciously.
“Everything went very well,” Holly said.
He frowned as an expression of guilt crossed his features. “So now it’s my turn to apologize.” He shrugged. “I can’t erase the past, but I’m very sorry I spread rumors about you. I was a stupid teenager. That’s my only excuse. But now that I look back on my life, there are a lot of things I wish I’d done differently.”
“I’m sure we all feel that way.” Holly smiled. “Thanks for apologizing. I’ve tried really hard lately to forget about it and to move on, especially since I’ve been back in town. But every once in a while, skeletons still like to jump out at me.”
“Again, I’m sorry. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I’m hoping most people have forgotten about it by now.”
“Yeah, me too.” She gave them a wave. “But just take care of my friend. For now, that’s all I want.”
His smile returned as he gazed into his wife’s eyes. “I think I can manage that.”
Lynda gave Holly another hug before waddling down the porch. Steve hurried to the passenger door to help his wife climb inside. Holly’s heart lightened. Apparently, all the Montgomery men were old-fashioned.
Just as Steve pulled out of the driveway, Rafe drove up to the house. He watched his brother drive away with a surprised expression. When he exited the vehicle, he hurried toward the house.
“What was my brother doing here?” he asked in an uneasy tone.
“Lynda needed to talk to me before they left.”
Warily, he studied her as he drew near. He stopped in front of her and cupped her face. “And are you all right?”
“I’m more than all right. I’m very relieved I can bury my past.” She smiled.
“As long as you don’t bury the shovel in Lynda’s back.”
Holly threw back her head and laughed. She wrapped her arms around Rafe’s waist, pressing up against him. “No. It’s not in her back. We have both made amends. Even your brother apologized. Can you believe that?”
He nodded. “I had a long talk with him last night when I got home, and I made him realize what you had gone through. I’m glad he apologized.”
“Yes, me too.”
His gaze traveled over her face slowly, coming to rest on her mouth. “You are absolutely beautiful this morning.”
“So are you,” she whispered just before leaning up to give him a kiss.
Once their lips met, he circled his arms around her, lifting her up. The kiss wasn’t very long, but it was definitely passionate.
“Let’s get you back to the ranch before the kids come for rehearsal.”
She nodded. “Will you help me?”
“Of course. Just tell me what I need to do.”
“From now on, we’re just going to have fun with our parts, and enjoy the practice. No more shouting, no more losing my cool, and no more getting upset over stupid things. I want the kids to enjoy being in the play.”
“Yes. That’s a very good plan.”
THE FOLLOWING WEEK went perfectly. Rafe couldn’t be happier than he was right now.
Well, actually... that wasn’t totally accurate. If Holly confessed her feelings of love to him, that would make him very hap
py. But she’d kept busy with the kids, and helping her mother put the costumes together. Holly even helped him build a new cradle and assisted him with making the innkeeper’s front wall again.
Everyone on the ranch stayed busy in preparation for the play, and for Christmas. It surprised him to see the changes in Holly since their day together. Not once had she shouted in anger at the children. Instead, she made them laugh and relax. Perhaps she had been touched somehow by the recent events in her own life, just as he’d been affected.
Rafe couldn’t decide what gift to buy Holly. It was probably way too soon to ask her to marry him. It surprised even him that he’d think of committing to her like that, when he’d never wanted to take such a leap in a relationship. But it just felt right. However, he didn’t want to scare her away, so popping the question wasn’t even an option. But he wanted her to know how much he cared about her. Hopefully, he’d figure out what to do for her soon. Christmas was nearly upon them.
The night of dress rehearsal, everyone was nervous. Rafe knew another snow storm would be hitting them, but they didn’t know when. The news weatherman predicted it would be late Christmas Eve, and Rafe hoped it was later in the evening after everyone had left the program. If the storm came sooner... Well, some of the townspeople probably wouldn’t make it home.
Georgia Kidman sat in a chair by the fire he’d built in a barrel, so they could stay a little warm while out in the cold air. A smile stretched across her face as she watched her daughter and the others get ready for the rehearsal.
It surprised Rafe to see how calm Holly had been lately. She hadn’t raised her voice to anyone. She was as sweet as candy. She listened to everyone, and helped them with their lines – even the shepherd that she’d wanted to switch. Now the boy was confident with his lines, and every time Holly looked at the kid, she beamed with pride.
The sun had started to descend, but this was the perfect time to turn on the outside lights. The barn was lit up like heaven, and the star that his father had attached to the top of the roof years ago, shone like a beacon. Rafe nodded with satisfaction as pride grew inside of him. Dad must be smiling at him right now from Heaven.
A Thrill of Hope Page 19
