She flinches away from me. Like when I first met her. Her hair covered, her bones sticking out like twigs of a malnourished tree. When I put my arms around her, she doesn’t respond. She does follow when I pull her up from the snow and guide her toward the heli, though. As we’re passing under, a terrible roar of machinery envelops us, the propellers starting to turn.
June and I clutch at each other in surprise, her heart beating so hard I can feel it through her coat. For a moment she seems to be a bird ready to jump into flight. But she lets me take her the rest of the way to the ladder, and climbs up after me. Once we’re inside, she only stops to throw off her pack before shouldering her way through the cargo bay doors and out of sight.
“I told you, we’ll get off the ground and set final coordinates in the air.” Tai-ge has to yell over the sound of the propellers with the hatch open, giving Howl, a step behind him, an annoyed look to accompany what he says. Xuan sits next to him at the control panel, gesturing at the map suspended on the screen above them. A frown pulls Howl’s mouth crooked as his eyes follow June’s flight into the cargo bay before latching on to me. He gestures for me to come over.
“What about fuel? We don’t know how far we’re going!” Howl yells, his hand resting on his pocket where I saw him stow the knife. “I understand just as well as you do how dangerous it is to be near the camp, but without an idea of what we’re going to be landing in. . . .”
“You don’t know anything about flying, Howl. Step back from the controls. I’ll get us where we need to go.” Tai-ge spins to the side in his control chair, glancing back at me before hitting a button that makes the heli jerk up from the ground. The hatch is still hanging open behind me and I dart to pull it closed, dulling the propellers’ demanding scream to a slightly dimmer roar that vibrates up through the floor.
“We can’t just take off,” I call. Tai-ge looks up from the dials at my voice. “Especially since we don’t know . . .” I glance at Xuan, June’s hollow presence screaming at me from beyond the bay doors. “We have to look at the maps and put together a strategy.”
“We have enough for three . . . maybe three and a half liftoffs.” Tai-ge peers down at the gauges littering the console, my stomach dropping as the craft begins moving faster in a vertical ascent.
“What exactly is half a liftoff?” Howl deadpans. I can almost feel the weight of his stare on Xuan, mine no less barbed.
“It involves a lot of falling.” Tai-ge clears his throat, yelling to be heard over the propellors, making his voice crack. “Solar should keep us in the air, though. We can go through the maps and set coordinates once we’re up. Can we have this conversation once we’re gliding so we don’t have to shout?”
“But what about—” I start.
“I know you have questions,” Tai-ge cuts me off, looking away from the controls, his voice cracking over the noise from outside. “You don’t know Xuan, but I do. I promise, this is the right thing. Trust me, Sevvy.”
My gaze skates past my friend back to Xuan, the medic’s shoulders hunched all the way to his ears, what with Howl clouding the space directly behind him. I don’t like the way he won’t look up at me, won’t make eye contact.
I can trust Tai-ge. But I know Tai-ge well enough to worry that Red stars weigh a lot more than they should in his estimation. I put a hand on Howl’s shoulder. When he looks, I point to the storage closet behind his back where Tai-ge won’t see. He gives a small nod.
Howl steps around Tai-ge’s chair and puts a hand on Xuan’s arm. “Let’s get the maps out. Come over here—that’s where the best light is. You can show us where to go.”
I stay with Tai-ge as Howl shepherds Xuan away from the captain seats. He doesn’t even look up, pulling at levers and blinking buttons surrounding the captain’s chair as the heli makes a jerky parting with the ground, my knees bending as my feet press too hard against the floor. The propellers tilt, hitching to the side and then up again, clearing the lower hills we were sitting under and buzzing up to head over the mountains.
I walk over to join Howl and Xuan once I’m sure Tai-ge is absorbed, leaning toward the Red with a smile that makes me feel as though spiders are crawling straight from my mouth. I have to speak loud to be heard over the propellers, but not loud enough for Tai-ge to hear. “I think we’ll all fit, don’t you?” I gesture to Howl’s storage closet, the jagged bits of tape left from him escaping still littered across the floor. “It can be your work space, Chen Xuan.”
“You can just call me Xuan. And I think I’d prefer to stay out here.” Xuan shrugs. “Community over self and all that. I’d never presume to . . .” He stops when Howl takes a step closer. “What I meant to say was Yes, ma’am. I didn’t realize it was the Fourth who was in charge.”
“Things get a little muddled once you step outside City walls.” Howl gives Xuan a little push that puts him past the closet’s open door.
Tai-ge glances over his shoulder, his brow crinkled. But then the heli gives a shudder and he goes back to the controls. Bending at the waist, Xuan gives me a mockingly grandiose bow from inside the closet, but he doesn’t raise his voice or try to signal Tai-ge’s attention. “I’m honored to be given such preferential treatment, my lady. My queen. Which do you prefer?”
“ ‘Ma’am’ will be fine, thank you. Unless you’re feeling particularly worshipful, and then I think I’d prefer Ms. Queen. We like to keep things informal around here.”
I slap a hand against the wall as the floor lurches under us. Howl braces himself with one arm, and I’m oddly gratified that I’m not the only one. I lean closer so he’ll hear me over the drone of the propellers without broadcasting everything I’m saying.
“What are you thinking? Spy? Saboteur?”
“That camp is locked down, Sev. The only way they could have gotten out honestly would have been on a burn pile, riddled full of holes.”
“Ew.” I wrinkle my nose. “Images not needed, thanks.”
“Not to mention the heli was sitting there untouched, especially if they matched its description with Tai-ge. Tai-ge’s right about resources being spread thin, and an air advantage isn’t something you just leave out in the forest for anyone to take.” He looks me up and down. “You’ve got that full can of inhibitor spray, right?”
“I think I left it on the ground when I went after June.” My stomach sinks, the floor feeling a bit more unstable under my feet even than when we were taking off, and none of it has much to do with being in the air. I can’t make myself look past Howl into the storage closet, afraid of what I’ll see in Xuan’s eyes. “You don’t think he’d attack us, would he? There’s three of us.”
Howl glances at Tai-ge behind me. “Just keep your eyes open.”
I nod. “You search the medic. I’ll take care of June.”
“Yes, ma’am.” But there isn’t any irony to the glint in Howl’s eyes. It’s all steel and bones.
CHAPTER 28
WHATEVER TAI-GE BELIEVES, HOWL IS right. We can’t hope that our luck extends to magically being able to keep the heli with no consequences. Or to have found a Red with intimate knowledge of exactly where we need to go, who also happens to want to jump in a heli with the Chairman’s absent-without-leave son, a traitor Second, a Fourth, and a Wood Rat when all the masks and food are in the camp he just vacated. Fate, instant karma, and destiny combined wouldn’t be that generous, not even if I’d taken off my stars back in the City and become a nun.
The propellers clip on and off, as if Tai-ge’s trying to find the right height, the right wind before defaulting on the quieter correctional propellers that allow us to glide in comparative quiet. Before I get to the cargo bay door, June peeks through into the cockpit all by herself. Her eyes search the cabin over before stilling on me. Instead of hopping up next to Tai-ge at the controls to watch Tai-ge fly as she usually does, June goes to her rucksack where she threw it down in the center of the floor. She drags it to a corner and sits, clutching it to her chest.
I pull
open my pack where it’s propped up by the storage closet and snag a handful of dried pears. The silence emanating from behind the storage closet door makes my spine tingle, as if any moment I’ll hear shouts or screams or . . . something. I’m not sure what it is I’m afraid of happening. Xuan attacking Howl? Or perhaps Howl falling in line with all the nightmares I’ve had about Menghu. I didn’t tell him to hurt Xuan, but now I’m second-guessing, wondering what Cale would have assumed I meant if I asked her to search a potentially dangerous Red.
When I sit down by June, her face is empty as the cockpit windows, pressed over with gray clouds. The drone from the propellers goes silent again. Hopefully Tai-ge has found the right altitude. “You going to tell me about it?” I whisper. “How do you know him?”
June doesn’t blink. It seems as though she hasn’t in a while, as if the split second of darkness will bring monsters. She points to the storage room, a question on her face.
I nod. “He’s in there with Howl. And I need to know if we should let him get sucked out of the cargo bay while we’re up high or if there should be torture involved first.”
June doesn’t smile. I don’t blame her. It wasn’t that funny. When she finally reaches out for a slice of pear, I feel the breath stream out of me in relief as if June breaking down would turn me catatonic and mute as well.
“I don’t know.” She flinches as the propellers burst into motion, assaulting our ears, then stuffs the pear into her mouth.
“You don’t know whether we should torture him?”
“His face is wrong,” she says around the slice of pear.
“Wrong?” I fight the manic laughter drumming to be released at just how many ways that could be taken. At least she’s talking again and not pulling back into her girl-size turtle shell. “Okay. But you do know him, right? It isn’t just that you don’t like patchy beards?”
She nods slowly.
“How?”
June’s stare might as well be boring holes in the floor. But she shakes her head.
“June, no matter what he is or what happens next, I will protect you. I think Howl would too.” It jars to hear those words coming out of my mouth, but whatever it is Howl has done, I believe June’s on the list of people he’d like to keep alive, if possible. “Please, June. Anything you tell me will help. You don’t have to keep secrets. You don’t have to be alone. I’m here.”
She looks at me, her vacant stare slowly coming into focus. But then she sits up a bit straighter and pins me with that greenstone gaze. “It’s from before.”
A warmth blossoms in my chest, as if it can somehow leap from me to her and soothe the worry out of her. “From before you met us?” I ask.
“He was there when they took her.”
“They? Took who?”
“My mother. We ran.”
A chill creeps down my neck, making its way slowly to my heart. “What do you mean you ran?”
June blinks, but it’s too slow, as if she’s been hypnotized, one step before falling asleep. “My family had to. From them.” She doesn’t look at the storage closet again, but I know Xuan must be one of “them.”
“Dad never explained,” she continues. “Just said we had to find her. And then he said nothing. And then it was better if I said nothing too.”
The storage door cracks open, and Howl comes out on silent feet, going to the cluster of maps stuck in Tai-ge’s pack. Tucking them under his arm, he looks at me. “Can I borrow the key?”
Tai-ge tears his eyes away from the controls. “Can we wait a minute to plan? I can set us on autopilot once we’re far enough from City camps that we should be safe. That way we’ll all be able to talk.”
“I thought . . .” I bite my lip, trying to find the right words. Howl raises his eyebrow at me. “I want to talk to him first, Tai-ge.”
“Why? If I’m in there, then—”
“No.” The air feels close in the heli, the wet smell of dirty slush from outside mixed with moldering clothes that haven’t been washed filling my nose.
Tai-ge doesn’t turn around to look at me, his shoulders unnaturally straight in his chair. I pull the key from my pocket and hold it out to Howl. He takes it, running his fingers along the rough edge, but doesn’t turn to go in the room. “Is June okay?” he asks quietly.
June looks up at him, but it’s only a quick flick of her eyelashes before she’s back to melting holes in the floor with her gaze.
“I’m not trying to pretend you aren’t here, June. I just . . .” Howl scratches at the scruff coating his jaw. “If you’ve already said it once, I didn’t want to make you say it again.”
“Whatever is wrong, you must be mistaking Xuan for someone else, June,” Tai-ge says from his chair. He couldn’t have heard my whispered conversation with June, but a burst of irritation hits me at hearing him so easily dismiss her all the same.
June almost seems to shrink, whatever makes her June pulling back from her skin to a safer place. I crouch down by her, putting a hand on one of her knees. “I believe you, June. You are safe. At least from Xuan.”
Howl joins us on the floor. “I’m not above pushing him out. Really.” It’s hard to know if he means Xuan or Tai-ge, but I don’t look away from June to clarify.
June holds his gaze, then looks back at me. Her shoulders relax a fraction, and she nods.
Howl touches my arm, and I forget to flinch away for a second. “Would you rather have Sev out here, or would it be okay for me to take her in with me?”
June holds her hands out for the dried pears I grabbed, then gestures at me to go. I stand, worried that if I leave, June would fall to pieces on the heli floor, but she gives another annoyed sort of wave with her hand, curling around the pears as if it’s just her and them in the universe. A promise of food and a place to lay her head. I have to swallow down a sudden feeling of helplessness.
“Come on, Sev.” Howl’s still there, waiting. “There’s still a lot we can do.”
Where does Howl get the right to guess what I’m thinking? I nod once, unconvinced. Then again, determination flooding through me. If June can’t face down this demon, I can. That’s a start.
CHAPTER 29
THE STORAGE ROOM DOOR SHAKES with the vibration of the secondary propellers, and my chest tightens in anticipation when Howl opens it.
Inside, Xuan is propped up against the wall, much the way Howl was less than two days ago, though his hands aren’t taped together. There isn’t much room, and I have to choose between being a bit too close to Howl and straddling the medic’s outstretched feet. Howl makes the decision for me, pulling me away from Xuan’s overly friendly smile to have me stand between him and the door, our shoulders touching.
“You don’t remember me, do you, Miss Jiang?” Xuan flicks his head sideways, attempting to relocate his shaggy hair out of his eyes. When it doesn’t work, he puckers his lips and blows at the stray hairs.
“Should I know you?” I ask. “I didn’t realize we had a celebrity medic in our midst.”
Xuan points to my bulky coat, the snaps and zipper still hanging open. “Your ribs. And all the other souvenirs you got from the Aihu Bridge bomb. I treated you, so a thank-you for making sure you didn’t get any scars on that pretty face of yours wouldn’t go amiss.” He crosses one foot over the other, folding his arms across his stomach. “Thought I was going to have to testify at your denunciation. Glad it didn’t go that far.” He smiles again. “Nasty things, executions.”
I bite my cheek, refusing to drop his gaze. “I’m so glad you weren’t inconvenienced by my death.”
“Me too.” He looks around the room with a cheerful grimace. “Don’t much like this, though. If this is going to turn painful, I suggest starting with chemistry equations.” He nods at Howl’s First mark, the smile turning cheeky. “You can talk me to death.”
Howl sets the bundle of maps down, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out my knife, running a fingertip along the keen edge. “I don’t care for chemistry, to be honest.�
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A worm of unease burrows through my stomach. We are not hurting anyone. Either Xuan tells us what’s going on or he doesn’t, but there isn’t going to be any blood involved. Attempting to joke about torture with June is one thing, but this . . . My thoughts freeze when Howl catches my eye. He quirks his eyebrows with a don’t worry so much sort of look before kneeling down and setting the knife and the sheath next to him on the floor.
I refrain from scowling. What else am I supposed to think if Howl brandishes knives at people?
“There’s no need for any of that.” Xuan sits forward, hands out in supplication, flashing his Second mark in our direction. A practiced move that might have served him well in the City, but flaunting status isn’t going to get him anything here. “The entire point of me being here is to give you information. I’m good to talk.”
Howl smiles, but there’s nothing friendly in it. “I think I’d first rather hear the real story behind your escape. If you don’t mind.”
“Of course you do. Quite daring, if I say so myself.” Xuan’s smirk must be hurting his cheeks, and when he catches me staring, he actually winks at me. “There were rumors floating all over the place about Hong Tai-ge. That he threw his favorite little escaped spy over his shoulder, stole the Chairman’s own heli, and made a speech about how the ranking system is broken before stabbing his own father in the back . . .”
I bite my lip, willing myself to stay calm. Howl doesn’t move, his face a practiced blank.
Xuan looks back and forth between us as if he was expecting a bigger reaction and settles on a shrug. “Okay, I made most of that up. But I wasn’t lying before. Things aren’t going well in the camps. The Chairman announces one set of orders only to contradict himself a few hours later. Masks are disappearing, breaking, with no factories to make new ones. Food is disappearing, Mantis, too. Not to mention those . . . people who showed up with Dr. Yang.”
I wait a beat, thinking he means to elaborate, but he doesn’t. “You mean the Menghu? You knew they were in the camp, even with City uniforms?”
Shatter the Suns Page 19
