"You only beat me a few times."
"More like every time."
When Cal and I played pinball together as kids we were really competitive. He was determined to beat my score but never did.
"This is harder than I remember." I go to hit the ball with the flipper and miss. "Shit!"
"Not so good anymore, huh?" Cal says, still playing his game.
"I just need time to get warmed up." I stretch my arms out and twist side to side.
"I'm still going on mine," he says in a smug tone.
"I'm back to hating you."
He laughs. "You love me and you know it."
"Not even close." I watch as he shoots the ball up the course.
"Not even a little?"
Is he really asking if I love him? He can't be serious.
"I love that you took me to play pinball," I say. "But I hate that you're beating me."
"We're not competing. We're not even playing the same game." He steps back and checks his score. "Not bad."
"Show off," I mutter.
"It's the tux. I always play better in a tux." He motions to my feet. "Maybe your heels are messing you up."
"That's it!" I reach down and take them off. "I can't play pinball in heels. I can barely walk in them."
I shove quarters in the machine and it starts up, lights flashing around the images of monster trucks. Cal watches, keeping quiet as I concentrate on the game. I make it three minutes, which is longer than Cal made it on his game.
"It was totally the heels," I say. "They were messing up my game."
"You want to stay on that machine?" Cal asks.
"We can try some others."
The place has at least twenty machines. We try them all, going through two more rolls of quarters, finishing up at a really old machine at the very end of the game room.
"You redeemed yourself, Finkels," Cal says. "After that first game I was starting to think you'd lost your touch."
"It was the heels. Once they were off I was back in the game."
"You ready to call it a night?" He bends down to pick up my shoes.
"Yeah. But maybe we could come back here sometime."
He smiles. "WE, as in you and me?"
"Obviously." I roll my eyes. "Who else would I be talking about?"
He steps toward me, forcing me against the wall. "You confuse the shit out of me."
"Why?" I ask, looking up at him.
He looks so damn good tonight. Is it the tux? He's not even wearing the jacket. His tie is off and he unbuttoned the top of the shirt and rolled the sleeves up.
"I can never tell what you're thinking."
"Maybe I don't want you to know." I look to the side because if I keep looking in his eyes there's a chance I might kiss him. I really need to get a boyfriend so I can stop thinking of Cal this way.
"I had a good time tonight," he says.
"Me too."
"Birdie." He waits for me to look at him. "What are we doing here?"
"Playing pinball?"
"I'm serious. What are we doing? Are we just friends or what?"
"You have a girlfriend, so yeah, we're friends."
"She's not a girlfriend. We've only been on a few dates." He pauses. "If I didn't have Lara, what would this be?"
"Two friends going out?"
"Why do you keep answering with a question?"
"Because I don't know what you want me to say. It's like you're trying to lead me to say what you're thinking instead of just saying it."
"Maybe I don't want to say it." He leans down, his eyes locked on mine.
"Then don't," I say, my heart beating out of my chest.
"Dammit, Birdie!" He drops my shoes and kisses me. A full, deep, all-in kiss that makes my legs feel weak. I lean back against the wall and feel his arms go around me, his body pressing into mine.
He breaks from the kiss and takes a breath. I take one too because I need it. I'm completely breathless after that. It was another amazing kiss. An amazing kiss from Cal, the last person I ever thought I'd kiss.
"I've been wanting to do that all night," he says.
"Then why didn't you?"
He looks at me, surprised. "I thought you'd kick my ass if I did."
"I didn't when you kissed me before."
"Yeah, but you told me not to do it again."
"Because I don't know what it means. I don't know why we keep doing this when we're dating other people."
"Then maybe we shouldn't keep dating other people."
"Is that what you want?"
He stands up straight, rubbing his hand over his jaw. "I wish I had an answer for that but I don't. I liked things the way they were. We may have hated each other but it made sense, you know? It's how we've always been."
"I feel the same way. I've hated you so long I don't know how to be nice to you."
He smiles. "You're nice to me. Most of the time."
"I don't mean to be." I pick up my shoes. "Let's go."
"That's it? We're not going to talk about this?"
"There's nothing else to say." I slip my shoes on. "Neither one of us knows how to fix this."
"Fix what?"
"This—I don't even want to say it."
"Attraction."
"Yeah. That. We shouldn't have that."
"But we do."
"So we need to get over it."
"Or act on it."
"We just did, and now we're freaking out. I think that means we shouldn't do that anymore."
Two kids run into the game room, screaming and chasing each other.
"Let's go." Cal walks off, not taking my hand this time.
"Cal, wait," I say, trying to catch up. He's way ahead of me. I walk really slow in these heels.
"Cal?" I hear a guy say.
"Shit, no way," Cal says. "What the hell you doing in Phoenix?"
"Wedding." He laughs. "Not mine. My cousin got married."
I finally catch up to Cal. The guy he's talking to looks familiar. I swear I've met him before but I don't know where.
"Good seeing you," Cal says to the guy. "We were just heading out."
"You sure you can't stay? It'd be good to catch up."
"I can't tonight, but maybe next time you're in town."
Cal is acting really strange, almost like he's nervous. And why is he in such a hurry to leave?
"Do I know you from somewhere?" I ask the guy.
"Birdie, c'mon," Cal says.
"Birdie?" the guy says.
"So you DO know me." I stare at the guy, trying to remember where I've seen him.
"We met at golf camp," the guy says. "And then I never heard from you again."
"Birdie, let's go,” Cal says, tugging on my arm.
"Wait." I keep my eyes on the guy. "You're Fake Steve?"
"Fake Steve?" He laughs. "I don't know what you mean."
I get in his face, my anger from years ago returning. "You gave me a fake name! You acted all interested in me and then gave me a fake name and number!"
"What are you talking about?" He backs away. "My name is Steve. And that number was real. Did you ever trying calling it?"
"Not after I found out you gave me a fake name! After that I blocked your number, then deleted it."
"So that's why it didn't work. I tried calling you but couldn't get through."
"We really need to get going," Cal says to the guy. "Birdie, c'mon, let's go."
I yank my arm from his grasp. "Did you lie to me?"
"About what?" Cal asks, feigning innocence, but I can tell by the guilty look on his face that he's lying.
"You told me nobody at that camp was named Steve."
"I was telling the truth. None of the guys on the roster were named Steve."
"It's what I go by," the guy says. "My real name is Salvatore."
"See?" Cal says. "Can we go now?"
I point my finger at him. "You knew he went by Steve. You could've told me but you didn't."
"Because it didn't ma
tter. You'd already deleted his number."
"You could've got it for me again when you realized his name was Steve."
"What's going on here?" Steve asks, his eyes bouncing between Cal and me.
"Cal lied to me," I say to Steve. "Because apparently he didn't want me going out with you."
"Why?" he asks Cal. "Did YOU want to go out with her?"
"No!" I answer. "He just wants to control who I go out with." I glare at him. "Because he's an egotistical asshole who thinks he knows what's best for me."
"I'm really confused here," Steve says. "How do you two know each other?"
"I'm friends with his sister. I went with her to drop off Cal at golf camp that summer."
"Birdie, it was years ago," Cal says. "Just let it go."
"Let it go?" I throw my hands up. "Do you have any idea how hurt I was when I realized Steve made up a fake name after pretending to like me? Now I wouldn't care but back then I thought it was some kind of cruel joke. Like he was making fun of the fat girl. Leading her on to make her think he liked her."
"I would never do that," Steve says. "And I didn't think you were fat. I thought you were hot. And I loved that you weren't afraid to come up to me and introduce yourself. That's why I gave you my number."
"You see what you've done?" I say to Cal. "If it weren't for you, Steve and I could have been dating all these years! We might even be engaged by now."
"Except I'm engaged to someone else," Steve says.
"It never would've worked," Cal says. "You lived in different states. And back then, you weren't even allowed to date."
"You're missing the point. And you're ignoring the fact that you lied. All this time you could've told me the truth, but instead you lied."
"I'm going to go grab a table," Steve says. "Sounds like you guys have some stuff to work out. Good seeing you both. Cal, give me a call sometime."
"I will. See ya, Steve."
"I'm leaving." I hurry past Cal. "I'll find my own way home."
"Birdie, just hold on." Cal catches up to me. "Let me explain."
"Explain what? That you lied to protect me? From what? A cute guy that I liked?" I keep walking. "I don't want to hear it, Cal. Just get away from me."
"Why are you making such a big deal about this? It was five years ago. And you know you never would've dated him. He lived thousands of miles away."
"It doesn't matter! What matters is that you lied to me! You know how much this has bothered me. You knew I was still angry about it. At any time the past five years you could've told me the truth, but you didn't."
I stop in the parking lot and get my phone out.
"Birdie, you're not calling for a car. I'll take you home."
"Like I want a ride from a liar? I can't trust you. Why would I want you taking me home?"
"Because it's free."
Unfortunately, free is all I can afford. I'm broke and don't get a paycheck until next week.
"Fine, but I'm not talking to you."
We walk in silence to his SUV.
"I can do it myself," I say, when he opens the door for me.
"Thought you weren't talking to me."
I ignore him and lift my dress enough to step up into the seat. But of course, my shoe gets stuck on the dress and as I'm trying to free it, I fall. Right back into Cal's waiting arms.
"Good thing I was here," he says, smiling, as he helps me stand up.
"I would've been fine," I mutter.
"If by fine you mean lying on the ground with your head split open."
I get in the SUV. He closes the door and I take out my phone so I can ignore him the whole way home. It works until we're in my driveway and he decides he wants to talk.
"I'm sorry, okay?" he says. "I wasn't trying to hurt you. And I wasn't lying when I told you there wasn't a guy named Steve there. I didn't find that out until after you left."
"Which was when you should've told me."
"But I didn't, and I can't go back and change it. Can we just forget about it?"
"I can't forget that someone lied to me for years." I try to open the door but it's locked, and the button to unlock it won't work. "Cal, unlock the damn door!"
"Not until you agree to talk to me."
"I'm talking to you right now!"
"I mean talk like before. Like friends. I don't want to lose that. It's important to me."
"And it's important to me to be able to trust my friends, but I don't trust people who lie to me. Now open the damn door!"
The lock clicks and I open the door and get out. Cal waits until I'm inside the house, then leaves.
A text pops up on my phone. I really am sorry.
I don't care if he's sorry. It doesn't erase all the pain I felt when I thought Fake Steve was just messing with me all those years ago.
When I get to my room it's after eleven. I text Taylor, knowing she's up. I want to call her but there's a good chance she's having sex with Luke right now and I don't want to interrupt.
As I'm changing out of my dress, my phone rings. It's Taylor.
"Sorry, were you having sex?" I ask, putting my dress on the hanger.
"We already did. Twice."
"No details, remember? Major dry spell here."
"You asked!"
"True. So anyway, I hate your brother."
"Why? What'd he do now?"
"He lied to me!"
"What do you mean?"
"He lied about Fake Steve! We were out at this restaurant downtown and Fake Steve was there, except it turns out he's not fake. That's actually his name!"
"Okay, I'm really confused. I thought you were going to the awards ceremony."
"We did. But Cal was still hungry so we stopped at a restaurant to eat and then we played pinball."
"Sounds fun. You love pinball."
"Yeah, it was great, until Fake Steve showed up."
"Why was he in Phoenix?"
"A wedding, I think. Oh, and he's engaged now. That could've been me!"
"You wouldn't want to be engaged now. You'd say it's too young."
"Not if I'm marrying my soulmate! What if it was him? What if I'm supposed to be with Fake Steve, who's actually real Steve, but I can't now because of your stupid brother!"
"Did Cal say why he lied?"
"He claims he didn't lie. Steve is actually Salvadore but he goes by Steve. When Cal found out he could've told me, but didn't, which to me is a lie. I can't believe he lied to me all these years! I swear, I'm never talking to him again."
"Maybe he did it because he likes you. I know you guys fight all the time but I've always thought there was a spark between you two."
"That spark is anger. And right now I've got sparks going off all over the place because I'm so freaking angry at him!"
"Just give it some time. I'm sure Cal didn't do it to hurt you. Maybe this Steve guy isn't that great. Maybe Cal was trying to protect you."
"I don't need him to protect me. If Steve was an ass, Cal could've just told me that."
"You wouldn't have believed him."
"Why are you sticking up for him? You're supposed to be on my side."
"I'm not sticking up for him, but I know Cal, and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."
"But he DID hurt me. And it's not just about Steve. It's about Cal lying to me."
"You want me to talk to him?"
"No. And I'm not talking to him either. Whatever friendship we had is over."
"What about your swimming lessons?"
"I'll have to find a class somewhere, although I can't afford it right now. It'll have to wait."
"Just keep doing the lessons. If you don't, you'll have to start all over again."
"I don't care. I don't want to be around him right now." I get into bed. "I'm going to sleep. I'll let you get back to your sex marathon."
She laughs. "Okay. We'll talk tomorrow."
I try to sleep but when I do, I have a dream about Cal, which would be fine if I were killing him in the dream, bu
t instead I'm having sex with him! It must be because I was talking to Taylor about sex, but why I am dreaming of doing it with Cal? Why not Fake Steve? He looked really hot tonight, and in my dreams he could be single instead of engaged. Or I could've dreamed about doing it with John, or some random guy I don't know.
Why did it have to be Cal? And why did I wake up wishing the dream hadn't ended?
Chapter Seventeen
Cal
It's been a week since Birdie and I had that fight and she's still not talking to me. When I see her in class she ignores me like I'm not even there. And she didn't show up for our swimming lesson on Tuesday. I waited for her at my parents' house for over an hour but she didn't show up and didn't even text to tell me she wouldn't be there. I figured she wouldn't show up, but if there was a chance she would, I wanted to make sure I was there.
I thought she would've forgiven me by now but she hasn't and I'm starting to think she never will. Birdie is stubborn and can hold a grudge a long time.
My phone rings. It's my mom.
"Hey, Mom, what's up?"
"Hi, honey. What are you up to tonight?"
"Not sure. There's a party at the frat house but I don't really feel like going."
"You don't have plans with Lara?"
"She went to Vegas for the weekend with some of her friends."
"Why don't you come over? Your father's making his famous ribs."
"I guess I could do that. I don't have any food here. Haven't been shopping all week."
"Then come for dinner. We have plenty of food."
"Okay. I'll head over in a few minutes."
"Great! See you soon!"
When I get there my mom greets me at the door.
"I'm so glad you could make it." She gives me a hug. She's acting strange. She usually doesn't greet me at the door like this and she's smiling more than normal.
We go inside and I see Birdie sitting on the couch. When she sees me, she immediately stands up.
"No freaking way," Birdie says, her eyes shooting daggers at me. "There's no way I'm having dinner with him."
"Birdie, there's no need to be getting upset," my mom says. "You're having dinner with Lou and me."
"So HE'S not eating with us?"
"What are YOU doing here?" I say to Birdie.
"Your parents invited me over for dinner. I thought it was just a nice gesture but now I see it was a setup."
"It wasn't a setup," my mom says. "Cal said he wasn't busy tonight so I invited him over. This wasn't pre-planned. Tell her, Cal."
Kinda Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers College Romance Page 17
