I completely forgot, which is so unlike me.
I race to check the time. I can still make it if I hustle, but I can see Sonya’s not so sure.
“I really do have an important meeting, Sonya… I’d take you with me too, but it’s just…” I look away, realizing an executive board meeting, deciding the economic future of hundreds, maybe thousands of people isn’t the best place to take my latest obsession.
“But it’s just…?” Sonya asks, starting to look more than hurt as she dresses herself, fighting to get back into her clothes now.
“Sonya, wait… I…” I want to explain things to her, but I’m getting my first taste of the other side of the gates of heaven I had before right now.
“…Because you don’t want to be seen with a fat chick?” she asks me, real venom in her voice. Her flushed face thrusting through the top of her sweater before she struggles to shimmy into her jeans.
I move over to her, reaching out for her, but her eyes flare in anger. “Don’t!” she warns me, and it kills me inside, but I take a step back, shaking my head as I stand tormented in my own living room.
“Sonya, can you please just wait a second?” I ask her, trying to sound calm, the exact same instant that the house phone and my cell ring simultaneously.
I know in a flash it’s my people wondering where I am, the hour of power briefing before the most important meeting we’ve had in over ten years.
Fuck!
She stands staring, her eyes wide and wild with defiance.
“I need to get that.” I inform her. Trying to keep calm, juggling two of the most important things in my life right now and knowing I can’t afford to lose either of them.
“Can you just wait, please?” I tell her firmly, only leaving the room to grab the phone, but as soon as I pick it up I hear the front door slam. I know she’s gone.
“Fox? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? You said the briefing was a half hour ago… we’re getting a little worried here.”
I make my way to the front window with the phone pressed against my ear, flicking the curtains back to see Sonya’s perfect ass striding away from me. Her upper body heaving with what I can tell are tears.
What the fuck just happened?
“Fox? Mr. Silverman?”
The voice on the other end, it’s the board’s chairman, Hank Salzburg. Not a guy who’s used to being left waiting as much as I’m a guy who would stand up his own board meeting.
“Uh… Hank. I got a real problem here… I need you to field that meeting.” I tell him, instantly choosing between the two biggest things I can’t afford to lose.
If I have to lose one thing today, please god, don’t let it be Sonya.
Hank doesn’t mince his words. The upshot of it all being, if I can’t be there to pitch my own multi-million dollar ideas, then why put them up for the board in the first place, especially when we’re talking a complete re-shuffle of the company’s main finances from private to not for profit.
He’s got a point.
“I know, Hank. I do. I just can’t. Something’s come up.” I tell him earnestly.
I hear the older man breathing heavily through his nose, murmuring something to himself.
“Well, it’s your company, Fox. I can’t tell you how to run it.”
I sigh with some relief. Hank’s a gun and if I know he’s on my side at least, I’ll still have a chance to have my cake and eat it to, figuratively speaking with the business and literally speaking with Sonya.
I hope.
“I just need a few hours, maybe we can reschedule for tomorrow?” I clear my throat, reminding myself of what Hank’s just said.
It’s my company, and I won’t put it or my claim on Sonya in jeopardy.
“I mean… It’ll have to be tomorrow. I mean it Hank. I have…”
“Is it a girl, Fox?” He interrupts me, his voice softening and I can just picture the dry smile on his face.
“Yeah… it is. How could you tell?” I ask, grinning to myself at the fresh memory of her, then cringing as I see her storming up to her own front door.
“I just figured,” Hank says with a degree of resignation. “It’s about time, Fox… but you might’ve picked a better day for it… I’ll hold ‘em off for today, maybe tomorrow too. But you get yourself sorted and get back here ASAP and wow those bastards with your next crazy idea, whatever it is, okay?”
“Thanks, Hank. I will,” I say, trying not to sound like a lovesick teenager and failing. I’m about to hang up, when Hank asks me something else point blank.
“Do you love her, Fox? Do you really love her?” he asks intently, and I answer without even thinking about it, hearing the emotion in my own voice.
“Yeah. Yeah I really do fucking love her, Hank.” I tell him.
“Then go get her, Fox… we’ll be here when you get back.”
The first the neighborhood sees of me is my broad frame striding up the middle of the road, my robe swishing open and my feet bare. I’m carrying my phone still and I don’t even remember if I hung up on Hank or not, or if I even closed my front door after I left. But it doesn’t matter.
None of it matters anymore. I know that the one thing that truly matters, the one thing I want over everything else just walked away from me.
So now I have to go get it back.
I have to get her back. I know my life would be worthless without her in it, and by the time I get halfway there, registering the stares and curious glances from the obviously nosy neighbors, I thank fuck that she only lives a few doors down.
Even though I’d walk a thousand mile across broken glass or lava to do the same.
CHAPTER TEN
Sonya
I know I’m acting foolish.
Like a child.
I’ve always over-reacted, often confusing my weight and people’s reactions to it as an excuse to be upset by things. But it’s only because most of the time it’s the real reason I get upset.
People don’t want me because of my size. The sports and even group projects in school then college… the jobs I’ve already applied for… the boys I thought shared the same interests as me in college.
Sooner or later, it’s the same story. Feels like it anyway.
“We like you, but not like that.”
We’d rather not be lumbered with the thick girl on our team/group is what they really meant.
“I just remembered, I have to visit my Aunt in the hospital.”
“We’re sorry, the position has already been filled.”
As soon as I hear Fox suddenly remembering his important meeting, it’s like history repeating itself all over again. I tell myself all the wrong things until I end up believing them, despite what Fox told me himself.
I actually get mad, really upset, thinking Fox is ditching me because I won’t put out, or maybe because he’s seen me naked now, and realizes what he’s really in for with a bigger girl….I actually tell myself he’s probably got his buddy calling him, the ‘rescue call’ after he’s given some unseen signal, the sign he’s bailing on the fat chick who won’t put out or maybe it’s a bet. A bet he just can’t follow through with.
It’s insane. The things I tell myself when I get worked up, and I end up believing only the most hurtful and untrue parts.
And because it’s someone as amazing as Fox, it hurts so much, I can’t breathe.
I’m mad at Fox, for even making me imagine something so stupid, but I’m even madder at myself more than anything.
I may have overreacted slightly when I should’ve listened, but seriously?
Did he really just remember he had that all-important meeting?
Did you even ask him?
No. I told him how he feels without letting him explain, I stormed off when he asked me to wait and now I definitely don’t have a job but worse than anything…
I don’t have Fox either.
My tears are coming down hard, my breathing heavy. Mrs. Pollock from two doors down and across the st
reet asks me if I’m alright as I storm past her yard, but I only hold my hand up.
I don’t want to talk to her or anyone else. It wouldn’t be the first time people have seen me walk home bawling either, so no surprises for anyone really.
The chunky girl gets another bite of reality.
But he told you that you’re his…
He said it was fine to wait until you were ready… he’s so into you, why can’t you see it?
Once inside, I lean back against the door, closing it and sliding down onto my ass. I clutch my knees with my hands and lean my head forward, a dry croaking wail trying to come out, but there’s hardly anything left now.
I feel so damned hollow and empty.
Oh my god… what have I done?
The magical feeling I had, the one I shared with Fox only a short while ago, it’s gone. Replaced with a dark, icky feeling inside. A feeling I thought I’d lost forever once I saw Fox.
Now I feel worse than ever. I just sit there, lamenting the fact that I had my big chance, my one in a million shot and I blew it.
I royally screwed it.
I nailed it to the ground and I-
The sound of soft, then firm knocking on the door directly behind me jolts me from my depressive reverie.
I open my mouth, not daring to breathe, cocking my head to strain to hear.
As if that’s going to help.
I know who it is.
He knocks again, harder this time but not violently, not in anger.
“Sonya?” he says in his deep voice. It’s a confident, collected man on the other side of the door.
A man who knows what he wants and he’s come to claim what’s his.
I just feel so stupid now. The third round of knocking on the door seems to blast away the last of my paranoia, shattering the bullshit I told myself about Fox, about what he really thinks of me.
“Go away.” I hear myself croak feebly, but I hear him sigh with relief.
“Sonya, open up. C’mon. I’m not kidding, let me in.”
He says it firmly. I don’t even flinch when I feel him trying the handle, leaning on the door to try and see in through the frosted glass panel.
I feel suddenly tired. Like it’s all too hard.
“Just leave me alone.” Is all I can manage, even though I need Fox now more than ever. His arms around me, his mouth on my ear telling me something good. Telling me how much he wants me.
“I’m not leaving Sonya. I just need to know you’re safe. I can stay out here all night if you want.”
I half-smile, silently cursing him for being so sweet. Marveling at what he would even see in me, but most of all, knowing that he would do it. That he would stay out there all night if I don’t let him in.
Just so he knows I’m safe. So he can protect me.
“I really did have a meeting,” he says, happy to talk to me even if I won’t answer or open up.
“I don’t know why you thought I didn’t, like I was trying to get rid of you… because I’m not Sonya. You’re mine and I want you, so open up,” he says, he voice thick with emotion and I hear myself groan out loud, feeling more embarrassed now than anything.
“What about your meeting?” I croak feebly.
“I canceled it,” he says straight away, leaning his face closer to the door so I can hear him better.
“I don’t care about the meeting… it’s important, Sonya but nowhere near as important as you are to me.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Fox
It’ll be cold. But I’ll stand here all night, like I just said. Just to know where she is. Just to know she is safe.
She doesn’t want to see me, she doesn’t want to talk right now. That’s fine.
As long as I know where she is and that she’s safe, we can deal with the rest later.
Meeting be damned, I’m kicking myself for even mentioning it. I should’ve just made a call, blown it off.
But that’s not how I do business. It’s all or nothing, I just can’t have two major choices if one of them is Sonya.
I know now I’ll choose Sonya every time.
Once I tell her so, she opens the door. I don’t even want to hear her say anything. She’s trying to say sorry, but I don’t care. I just want her.
I press my mouth hard over hers, silencing us both and taking us back to that place we should’ve stayed in, at my place. The place where it’s just the two of us and the sounds of our bodies melting into one another.
When she does speak, finally. She hits my chest, telling me off.
“Damn you, Fox Silverman, damn you for being so perfect.”
But I correct her. Holding her chin up so she can look into my eyes, I remind her that she’s the perfect one. The reason for everything now.
I move forward, taking us both all the way inside and I kick the door closed behind me with my foot as I lean down to kiss her again.
I take her into my arms, kissing her, not wanting this moment to end. And certainly never wanting to see her upset ever again.
“No more misunderstandings,” I demand softly. “I want you, you’re mine now. No arguments.”
I feel a wave of relief washing over me, over us both as I feel her head bobbing in a nod as I press her close to me again, resting my chin on her head, feeling her heartbeat where it belongs. Right against my body which is also getting harder than stone now that she’s in my arms again.
“Do you ever wear real clothes?” she asks, letting her hands trace the inside my robe, making me groan as she winds her cool fingers down to my thick shaft.
“Maybe not anymore,” I inform her, which could be true. If I keep feeling this way, which I know I will. I might never wear pants again.
“Just tell me I’m stupid. Tell me I imagined the whole thing and that you really did have a meeting,” she murmurs.
“You’re not stupid,” I growl, and kiss her forehead, “…and yes I had a meeting, which I canceled… as for your imagination, I can’t really say anything about that.” I tell her, taking her face in my hands again.
“What happened, Sonya? What made you think…?”
But she looks away, the tears forming in her eyes telling me now’s not the time to talk about that, whatever it is that makes her so down on herself.
I’ve got her back, that’s the main thing and I have absolutely zero plans of ever letting her go again.
Standing in the small hallway, I glance around. It’s a two story place, but small.
Average sized I have to remind myself.
Not everyone lives in twenty thousand square feet, Fox.
I can feel Sonya’s embarrassment as I look around. I don’t say anything. She had to have somewhere to live.
Until today.
Now she’ll come home with me. That’s final.
“Show me around,” I say. “Show me Sonya’s world,” and I mean it. I don’t care if she’s from an average house, doesn’t have a job and has low self-esteem.
I want to know more about her and it’s the best way to find out.
Her questioning glance makes me remind her about what I said just now.
“I want you, Sonya. I have you, now show me around your house.” I tell her. Once it’s clear I’m not trying to judge her, or her family, she willingly shows me around.
There’s no formal areas, no entrance hall. No formal dining or sitting room. The main differences in houses with people with money, I’ve noticed myself, is that we have a ton of rooms we never even use.
I have even more, but for a different reason. A reason I plan on showing Sonya as soon as possible.
The tour takes less than a minute downstairs, and although I don’t judge her dad for trying his best. I know this isn’t the house my queen should live in.
This isn’t the world she should spend her time in.
“And… the bedrooms are upstairs,” she says sheepishly as I lace my fingers through hers, urging her with my eyes to lead me upstairs.
I have to stoop
to avoid hitting my head once we get upstairs and I feel like a giant in her home.
“It’s cozy…” She chimes cheerfully, hesitating just a moment before showing me into her bedroom, the door catching on a pile of laundry as she tries to open it all the way.
“Oops,” she says.
I can clean… I can cook…
I daren’t make light of it. I don’t want to upset her ever again, and as far as cooking and cleaning goes, I have people that do all that. My own laundry? I’ve never even thought about it, there’s a chute and there’s always fresh clothes in my closet.
I can see there might be an adjustment period for Sonya.
Her room, like the whole house, isn't untidy. It’s just small. Filled with things that mean a lot to her but in such a small space that it makes them all seem overcrowded, congested.
There’s neat bookcases filled with history texts. A few posters of classical figures from history, a large poster of some pyramids, but I notice one picture on her wall in particular. A young girl with unmistakable blue eyes and golden hair.
“That’s you?” I ask her, disturbed when I see her lowering her eyes again, murmuring something about “when she was a thousand pounds lighter.”
Looking at the picture again, it hits me.
Even though she’s smiling, she’s sad inside. Torn apart.
A view of the world and herself I know will take time to heal, but I’ll see to it that it does.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Sonya
“You’re the first boy I’ve ever had up here,” I joke, changing the subject from my childhood back to the present.
“Dad would freak if he…”
For some reason, the past. My dad… my adoptive dad. It always comes up. Always makes me feel the same way I did in that photo.
Out of place.
Fox gives me a small smile and puts his arms around me as he stands behind me, swaying me gently as he glances around.
“I want you to come home with me, Sonya. I meant what I said about wanting you to stay with me.”
Possessive Neighbor: An Instalove Possessive Alpha Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 174) Page 4
