by Grant Hunter
‘I err...’
‘You want some. Come on, baby girl - I am not going to eat you.’
The woman moved a bit and gestured that I should sit next to her. She smiled in friendly way when I slowly dropped on the couch.
‘The first working day is the hardest,’ she said almost whispering. ‘Are you OK, sweetie?’
‘I think so.’
‘You look a little tired. Are you sure you don’t want any?’
I shook my head and Goldie bent to the table and inhaled the white powder through her nose using a rolled-up paper. ‘Good stuff,’ she said as she came up.
I laughed because of the powder on her cheeks, but all of a sudden that changed to crying. Tears flowed down my cheeks.
‘I am so stupid,’ I sobbed.
‘No, baby girl, you’re not. That is just the way it is.’ She put an arm around me and wiped my tears away.
‘By the way, my real name is Sharon.’ She thrust out her hand, as if she was meeting me for the first time.
‘Oh my God. S-Sharon?’ My mouth fell open while I shook her hand.
‘Yes, why? Is that funny?’
‘No-no.’
‘You look like you're having a stroke.’
I had to think of something that made sense. ‘It’s only that I can see you in front me with carrots.’
‘Oh, you saw the rabbit scene. Yes well, he is a good boy, though.’ She shook her hair loose. ‘Anyway, have you decided on a working name yet?’
‘Working name?’
‘Baby girl, don’t stare at me with those huge deer eyes. Of course! You think my customers know my name? It’s just like acting. On deck I play Goldie. So what should I call you?’
‘Actually, I have no idea.’
‘How about Candy? That suits you well.’ She looked at me questioningly.
‘It’s nice.’
‘And what is your real name?’
‘Naomi Quinns, but what does it matter. I don’t think that...’
Sharon threw back her head and began to laugh out loud.
‘Are you laughing at me because of my name?’
‘Oh, no but you look so depressed. Think about who you will meet soon. Everyone comes here, really everyone. This is the chance of a lifetime. Will you turn it down just like that? Do you really think I’m doing it just for the money? Oh. No. Look, baby girl...’
She took a hot pink cell phone from her bosom, scrolled through some names and held the thing in front of my nose. My eyes roamed at lightning speed from top to bottom, scanning the entire screen not missing a name.
‘Oh, my God... is that...?’ I yelled.
She nodded and scrolled further.
‘No!’
‘Yes certainly.’
‘That is, that is...’
‘Yes. That’s him. And he is huge.’
I held my breath when I saw the name of my idol scrolling by.
Sharon’s eyes shone. ‘He really would like you.’
‘W-Wow, I didn’t realise,’ I stammered, when I saw the Jen’s father’s name.
‘You look like you’re going to faint.’
‘No. I’m fine. Fine. Only I had no idea.’
‘Often there are theme parties. By private invitation only. Jack wants to make sure you’re ready. For that reason, he checks everyone out first. By a way of test. You were scheduled for today I saw, so I helped you in the room next to it, with our regular guest.’ She winked very knowingly.
‘T-Test?’ I stuttered.
‘Yes. But don’t worry, you passed. Because you look great on camera.’ She laughed out loud again and I felt stupid.
‘Oh God!’ I mumbled.
‘Don’t worry, we’re all on tape here. What can I say. You will get used to it.’
Ashamed, I put my hands over my eyes.
‘Baby girl, don’t be so shocked. Anyway, did you like it? He pleases everybody! Jack is the best fuck there is, and I sure know it,’ she moaned.
‘Stop it,’ I said, angrily.
‘Rest assured. In the long run you will enjoy it. Jack has everyone eating out of his hand. He’s clever, such a genius.’ She sighed loudly.
‘Well, it was the last time,’ I said furiously.
‘Think of all the possibilities. It’s not about Jack on this ship, but it’s all about you. Imagine who you are going to meet. Think about it! You get payed to fuck the most wanted stars. Who doesn’t want that? Jack is very loyal, but he also expects us to be loyal in return. He makes all your dreams come true ------or your worst nightmares...’
I swallowed.
Sharon smiled stood up, pulled me up with her and embraced me.
‘I am sure you are going to like it here, someone with such a temperament.. By the way, I was here to tell you that the car is here. Jules is waiting for you.”
With a surly look I walked to the door.
‘See you tomorrow, baby girl.’
24
I slept as long as I wanted, what did it matter? But I couldn’t, because of the sunlight that fell into the room, and the noises from outside. The traffic, the car horns, but also the neighbour’s crying baby. Then the yelling from downstairs, from the kitchen. Joy was once again arguing and she clearly had the kitchen door open. Dreamy and still in a sleepy haze I stared at the light waving curtain that let a shaft of golden light in the room.
‘Damn, I am going to change those dreadful curtains today,’ I whispered. Immediately I felt great, knowing I had the money to shop. Satisfied I folded my arms under my head and pondered all that I could do. Now that I had a job where I could plan my future and earn a lot. Suddenly everything seemed possible.
I looked at the bundle of paper money on the bedside table. What could I do with all that? I thought. Should I ask Jen if she wanted to go to the Centre for shopping?
I shook my head in the pillow. Knowing I couldn’t face her. The chance that I would accidentally tell her about the pictures was too great. I wanted to show them to Jack. Shit. Maybe he would tell her father? I thought. I really need to tell Jenny.
‘But first, change those curtains, Naomi!’ I whispered.
Suddenly it came to me who I would ask, and I could pay him back immediately.
I smiled, because my plan was perfect.
A thank you with a totally uncomplicated cup of coffee - as it had to be. Then I would give the envelope to Jack Willow and just keep the picture of Jenny myself.
I stood up and looked around my room. Maybe I could also buy a mini-fridge and an espresso machine, and new clothes. Yes, and I would order a microwave. I snatched underwear from under my bed.
Someone knocked on the door.
‘Naomi?’
‘Wait a moment, Jenny.’ I pulled on a shirt and jeans that I found under my bed and opened the door. ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning? Bloody hell, It’s almost noon.’
‘Ah,’ I shrugged my shoulders.
‘Err... Naomi? I was wondering - well, how it went. With your new job? Whether it’s the right something for you. Because I didn’t see you anymore yesterday, and I wanted to know if you liked it.’
My heart went wild and my hands were clammy. Did she know? Did I have to tell her?
‘Oh, it was fine. You know, work,’ I mumbled.
‘Fine?’
‘Yes, you know. I am very happy that you recommended me and that I have a job.’
She stared at me. Her eyes looked huge. She placed her hands on her hips and nodded.
‘Hm hm. I am very happy for you, Naomi. Do you know that my Mum once worked for Jack?’
I opened my mouth to answer her question, but she didn’t let me speak.
‘Crazy world, isn’t it? Don’t give me that look, Naomi. I don’t know exactly what Jack proposed... well, I want to warn you. Because Err... Jack is, well, he’s quite special.’
‘You come to warn me? Only now? That’s a bit late, eh? But I don’t need any warning. It worked out just fine.’
�
�Of course. It’s only, well yes... Jack can be quite a bit...’
‘Manipulative?’
She clearly knew more than she had told me so far. I wondered if it was all intentional. If she knew Jack, and what he was doing.
‘Why did you actually take me to that party?’
‘Bloody hell, Naomi. For a job, of course. I wanted to help you. But I also know what Jack is like and I didn’t get the chance to warn you.’
My face felt hot.
‘You slept with him?’
‘Of course not.’
‘Damn Naomi…’ She sighed, shook her head. ‘You are lying; your face is bright red.’
I wanted to change the subject, and I had to tell her about those pictures.
‘Well, I guess I’m not the only one.’
Her face drained of colour. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well. I’ve received these photos. Someone took them at the party….’
‘Photos? Who? Why, what photos?’
My gaze turned to the envelope on my bedside table. Jenny stepped into my room and I had to stop her before she picked up the envelope.
‘Wait, Jenny. I want to warn you. They are pictures of you and a man.’
I handed her the envelope and like a maniac she pulled the pictures out.
‘Th-this is...’
‘I promise you that it will stay between us, Jenny. Josh doesn’t have to know anything.’
‘Fuck. How did you get these?’ She put the pictures down and lifted her hands to her mouth.
‘They were in the letterbox. I saw someone last night, at the door downstairs, but I couldn’t see who it was.’
‘Fuck,’ she said again. Suddenly tears ran down her cheeks. I had never seen her like that before. I tried to embrace her but she stopped me.
‘I... I don’t know what was wrong with me that night. I think someone must have put something into my drink. It can’t be anything else. You believe me, don’t you?’
‘Yes. It was a set up,’ I said.
Jenny dried her tears. ‘Exactly. You see. It was not my fault.’
I shook my head and thought of the pill Jack gave me. I understood that he had planned everything: the food, the tour on the ship, the performance. Everything. It was al staged.
‘We did have sex. Jack gave me drugs,’ I said in a whisper.
‘Exactly, now you see? It wasn’t your fault. Jack is clever as a fox. You have to watch out for him. If you just do your job, he will leave you alone. If you stand in his way, well, he is extremely dangerous. And as for that picture... burn it, OK? Don’t leave it laying around. Please. Do you promise?’
‘O course. I will throw away your photo. But those other ones I will show them to Jack. He wants to help me find my stalker.’
‘I don’t know if that’s smart. When he promises something, there is always a catch. He only gives when he gets.’
I turned to the window and as a summer breeze touched my cheek I briefly closed my eyes. ‘What a mess…’ I whispered.
25
An hour and a half later I walked along London’s busiest shopping street. The warm atmosphere of Oxford Street made me forget everything. Especially now with Gabriel walking by my side. He was cheerful, he had been from the moment I had paid him back the money.
We passed a trendy bar which I would normally pass by, because I couldn’t afford it. This time I went in and Gabriel followed me.
‘Naomi? What are we doing here? It looks expensive,’ he said as we sat down near the window.
‘Relax. I have something to celebrate.’
‘Damn. Check out these prices!’
‘Don’t worry, Gabe.’
He muttered something unintelligible, which I ignored. A waitress nodded respectfully when she handed over the menu and waited for further instructions. I immediately ordered peppermint tea and asked for the bagel with salmon. Gabriel, ordered the soup of the day and an espresso.
‘Weirdest combination!’ I remarked.
He laughed and winked at me. It reminded me why I liked him. It was his boyishness, his silly attitude, he seemed without any complications.
‘Well Naomi. You got me. I love weird things.’
‘You do?’
Gabriel nodded and leant towards to me. ‘I sometimes find you a little weird…’ he whispered.
‘Fuck you,’ I giggled.
‘Oh, well… Is that a promise?’
I just smiled at him without saying a word.
‘I don’t understand, Naomi. First you act as if you don’t want to know me, and now you ask me out. Don’t get it wrong, I am thrilled, but I don’t get it.’
I shrugged my shoulders and gazed dreamily out of the window, at the stream of people that passed. It was the energy of the people which made this city so bubbly, I gradually understood.
‘Why now? It was more than just that loan, right?’
‘Yes. I don’t like to feel tied. Do you understand? I lived in a golden cage until I came to London. But even now I’m not really free, because of these debts.’
Gabriel took my hand and looked me deep in the eyes. ‘OK, I thought there was someone else you liked.’
‘No.’ I shook my head.
Chuckling I took my tea and bagel from the waitress.
‘No, there is nobody.’
‘Nobody? Not even me? Damn.’ He grabbed his coffee.
‘Maybe I lied. Maybe there is somebody…’
He leant forward and kissed my cheek.
‘Stop. I can’t do this, Gabriel.’
‘Oh, no. You called me Gabriel.’
‘I like you. But this is going too fast for me. Can we just be friends? Without any obligations?’ I ignored the disappointment on his face and took a bite out of my bagel.
‘You know. Actually, that’s fine with me, too.’
‘Really?’
‘Sure. I want to be here for you, Naomi. That’s what friends are for.’
‘That’s really sweet of you. You know what? I’m glad you kicked that football at my head!’ And when we both burst out laughing, the tension in the atmosphere evaporated.
One hour later we walked into a fancy clothing store. Still Gabriel didn’t complain about how I checked all the shelves, looking for new fashion items. Not even when I popped into the fitting room, while he carried the bags from the previous shop. But moments later he slid the curtain aside while I was getting dressed.
‘Hey! I’m standing in my undies,’ I screamed.
Gabe stared at my body, nodded and then gave me a smile.
‘Damn pity we are only friends... Are you sure you don’t want me to come in there?’
I shook my head and closed the curtain.
‘You’re a pervert, Gabe. Just give me one minute!’ I reassured him, while I pulled a rather short red dress over my head and turned around in the fitting room in front of the mirror.
‘Gabe?’
Immediately a head popped back from behind the curtain.
‘You changed your mind?’
‘No. Stay there. I just need your opinion. What do you think about this dress?’
‘Well.’
‘Well what?’
‘Well…’
‘Don’t tease me, Gabe.’
‘I can’t be friend if you look like that…’
‘OK. Great!’ I laughed when I noticed the bulge in his jeans starting to grow. I winked at him and pulled back the curtain.
‘Naomi? Are you ready? I have to go to work in a bit.’
Curiously I stuck my head out. ‘You didn’t tell me that. When?’
‘It’s almost four o’clock. I have to be there in an hour.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.’
‘But we had a really good time, right?’
‘Yes!’
‘Naomi? Just one question.’
‘Shoot.’
‘What happened? I mean, how can you afford this?’
I pulled my head back behind the curtain and le
ft the dress on.
‘It’s really not your business, Gabe. The only thing I want to share is that I’m celebrating my new job, as a waitress. Besides, my Dad gave me some money,’ I lied from the back of the changing room.
‘Ah, well.’
In my old clothes I walked to the checkout counter, while Gabriel followed behind me.
‘What’s the name of the restaurant?’ He asked.
I pretended I didn’t hear Gabe, instead I smiled at the cashier as I handed her the dress. Immediately she stripped off the security tag.
‘That’s one thousand and thirty-nine pounds,’ she said.
‘W-what?’ I whispered.
The woman behind the counter lifted an eyebrow. My cheeks glowed, because I felt dumb for not checking the price tag. From the corner of my eye I saw Gabe turning pale, his mouth tightened.
‘So much for a dress?’ he muttered.
‘It’s a Versace! But if you can’t afford it…’
I tried to stay relaxed and smile at the woman with the short styled black hair. ‘It’s fine. You only live once, right?’
The cashier laughed, friendly now, took the money and handed me the bag. ‘Enjoy your purchase!’
Gabe looked at me, stunned, and I turned away from him and walked out the shop. He followed me and grabbed my right hand, so I needed to slow down. ‘Naomi? What are you not telling me?’
‘Nothing!’ I yelled at him, and I shrugged my shoulders indifferently.
He kept me standing in the middle of the busy pavement. ‘This isn’t who you are. Naomi, as your friend, I want you to know that I am here for you.’
‘Yes. Great. Now let me go.’
26
Everything spun; it was like being on a bad fairground ride. What made it worse, where the red lights, flashing off and on. With shaking hands I pulled my torn red dress down. My eyes tried to focus on the black and white pattern that transformed the room into a big chessboard, on which I seemed a powerless pawn. It was surreal. A strange warmth came over my body, in waves and made me even dizzier.
Why was everything so blurred? and why could I barely stand on my feet? Was it because the ship was rocking? I thought. Or because of the vast amount of champagne that I had poured into myself? No, it was from the party drugs that I had taken.
