by Grant Hunter
‘We are going to give them a show like they have never seen before, right?’
‘Yeah, of course we will.’
I turned back to the camera. ‘Where was I. Oh, yes --- Jack…’
‘Stop this,’ Jack hissed.
‘Oh, no, no, Jack. You should hear this. This is all about you. Now what if I promise you your money back, dear clients? Every penny. What do you think of that idea? I can promise you even more than that!’
Jack started laughing hysterically.
‘What if I give you even more of a show? for free… You won’t have to pay for anything. How does that sound?’
Jack stopped laughing.
‘Dear clients...’ With the hand in which I was holding the revolver, I unclipped my bra in a single movement. ‘We don’t need Jack Willow. All he is doing, is stealing your money. Some of you are now on the Net X, nearby the arena, am I right?’
Angel came over to me and from the corner of my eye I saw that she looked in surprise at the camera. She smiled and followed my example. She bared her breasts, turned to me and put an arm around me. She slid her hand lovingly over my cheek and kissed me full on my mouth. I played the game.
‘Is there any reaction to this, Jack?’ I asked after this exhibition.
No answer.
‘Your director is silent,’ I said to the audience, ‘so I need your help.’
‘Damn, what’s your plan, bitch,...’ I turned the phone off, and threw it away, leaving it lying broken on the floor.
‘See, we don’t need him. I broke my only contact to the outside world, just for you. Because I trust you.’
‘Oh, God,’ stammered Angel and tears sprang to her eyes.
‘Do you want to see something you have never seen before?’
I tucked the gun into the elastic of my underpants and gestured to Angel that she had to take the gun from the other guard. When she walked away, I turned back to the camera.
‘Those of you who come back on the island now, I’ll give you a reality show like you’ve never experienced before and never will again. Something unique, one-off and so exclusive that you will tell your grandchildren about it. Oh, and Jack will be paying! He will pay you back all of your money. Right to the last penny. I stake my life on it. All you have to do is to come here, at the arena.’
I turned away from the camera relieved and I dragged Angel with me, going back in and towards the arena.
All this time we saw nothing and no one.
‘What are you planning?’ whispered Angel.
‘We will go back to the arena and wait for the audience. I have beaten Jack. No. We have beaten him.’
I climbed into the ring and put my hand out in an encouraging way, in order to help her on the stage. At that moment, a spotlight came to life, blinding me. Annoyed, I put my hand up in front of my eyes.
Angel shouted and pointed, shivering, to something behind me. I turned around and jumped to one side. There was a shot, followed by a scream. Angel screeched with an animal like sound. She put her hands to her stomach, to a hole from which blood pumped out. I ran towards her and knelt down next to her and as I did somebody grabbed me from behind, by the neck.
‘Hello Naomi.’
I couldn’t understand what was happening.
‘You haven’t forgotten me, have you?’
‘What…’ but when I wanted to turn, something hit me on my head, and I collapsed.
38
The first thing I realised as I drifted back into consciousness was that I was lying on a bed and that there was a bandage bound tightly around my pounding head. Through my half closed eyes I saw the room where I was lying was a blinding white. All around me there was medical equipment. Operation lamps, bags of liquid, suspended on metal stands. Screens with heart monitors. Next to me there were a few other hospital beds. I raised my head a bit and saw why I couldn’t move my arms. They were strapped to the bed. The pain in my back increased when I tried to move. My legs were pinned as well. I cursed and fell back on the bed again.
‘Look who’s awake.’
‘Gabe?”
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘Where have you been? I have missed you.’
‘You are still funny.’
‘Hilarious. Just like you, Gabe!’
‘Unpredictable. That’s the reason I found you so much fun.’
‘Of course. Even though it doesn’t matter anymore, I thought you were pathetic.’ I saw that the vein in his neck was throbbing. ‘I can still get to you, I see.’
‘As you said, it doesn’t matter anymore.’
‘You don’t matter anymore, either. You’re Jack’s toy. Just like Jen. Why did you guys do it?’
He shrugged his shoulders, ‘I’ve known Jack all my life. He is almost a father to me.’
‘Of course!’
‘Do you know that Jen wanted to go against us? She didn’t want you to be a player. They had to keep her quiet somehow.’
‘The photos...!’
‘Jack has his methods. But I knew right away that you were perfect.’
I sniffed and clenched my fists. ‘What about Robin?’
He started laughing unpleasantly.
‘So?’
‘You know why it’s funny? You suspected Justin, and now even suspect Robin. Sorry to disappoint you, but actually Robin was my idea. He is an actor, just like Jen. Jack hired them to create tension in the house. It was scripted and you bought it. Great television thought. They loved your role in the house.’
‘Bastard.’
Gabe jumped agilely onto the window sill and clapped his hands.
‘Is Joy an actress, as well?’
‘I can’t believe you didn’t realise it. She is such a bad actress. It was almost funny.’
‘You’re sick.’
‘Which of us is the one with blood on their hands? I have never killed anyone.’ Before I could respond, he continued. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore now. I’ll tell you how it is with Joy. Her father and Jack used to be business partners. Not exactly sure what happened, but they had a disagreement and there was an accident to that plane. Then Jack took care of Joy, if you understand what I mean. Just like he did for me when he took me out of that Romanian orphanage.’
‘I didn’t know that...’ I tried to sound sympathetic, but I didn’t succeed.
‘Anyway, it was Jack’s idea to create a livestream from a student house in addition to all his other projects.’
‘What other projects?’
He chuckled. ‘At the factory they wanted you to see them. In Van Burgh Park they are all well-hidden. You wouldn’t easily spot the cameras.’
I bit my lip when I thought back to everything I had done there. It was all intentional: Joy who provoked me, Jen, who pretended to be my best friend. Probably Justin and I were the only real students in the house.
‘But don’t flatter yourself, Naomi. Jack has several houses and projects. Recently he realised his dream, to go much bigger than the student houses.’
‘This island,’ I whispered.
‘Amongst others. The viewers love Livestreams. Money doesn’t matter anymore, it flows like water.’
‘Thanks to me...’
He acted as if he had not heard what I said and went on; ‘Now Jack wants to become the biggest producer. You have no idea how big his web is, though. He wants more places to be built for real life games. I believe they are now working in Nevada, on a sci-fi environment, where the player thinks he has been kidnapped by extra-terrestrials. And then of course there is Rocky Roads in Canada. Man, you should really watch that, that stream is great...’
‘Why are you telling me all this?’
‘It doesn’t matter anymore. You already know way too much.’
‘So that’s why I’m tied up here? You don’t know what you can do with me. You can’t kill me because I’ve become a star in your show, and now I’m worrying everybody. Is that it?’
‘No one can see you here, Naomi. You can
stop playing to the audience.’
‘Let me go.’
‘I can’t just do that.’ He jumped up and paced back and forth in front of my bed. ‘The problem is, Naomi. The problem is... well I’ll just say it. You scared Jack and he has asked me to solve the problem. What a joke, eh?’
‘It’s OK, I will do what he wants. Let me go.’
He shook his head. Then he walked to the sink, opened a cupboard and looked inside. With his other hand, he turned on a radio, which was in one of the cupboards. From the side of my eye, I saw that he was fiddling in a drawer full of syringes, bandages and plasters. Below in the corner there were open packs lying next to the garbage. Cotton wool with fresh blood spots and cloths covered in bloody marks. Was all that blood mine?
“One million lights in the sky
none as bright as you are
none as bright, none as bright,
none as bright as you are…”
Gabriel nodded along with the beat as he searched. ‘I love it. Music calms me. Don’t you think it’s a nice song?’
I clenched my teeth and wrenched at my bindings with all my strength.
‘Oh, I made it very tight, for sure. I’ve also become a bit scared of you after what you did in that toilet.’ He turned the volume slightly down and opened another tray, which he rooted about in. ‘Where is it…’ he whispered.
‘Let me go, Gabe. I won’t do anything really, I promise.’
‘Ah, here it is.’
He held an ampoule up against the light and took a syringe out of its packaging.
‘W-what are you planning to do?’
He nodded his head to the beat of some slower music, filled the syringe and looked satisfied when he held it up and squirted a little liquid out of the needle.
‘Gabriel, listen to me. Please, let me go. I really will do anything you want me to. We had a good time together...’
He came over to me slowly, held my left arm with his fingers and inserted the needle into a vein.
‘Gabriel...’ He injected the liquid into me and I felt it flow through my veins.
‘Soon I will be able to touch you again and you will become the compliant good girl I know.’
‘Where is Angel?’
‘Dead.’
‘I hate you!’
‘Quiet. Take a deep breath and let the drug do its job.”
‘You...’
He stroked his index finger gently over my naked body. ‘Jack instructed me to solve the problem that you are. You just have to be the old Naomi again.’
‘You’re sick. What have you given me?’ My breathing became slower and it seemed as if I was sinking into the bed, I felt so heavy and numbed.
‘Muscle relaxants. Did you know that the heart is also a muscle?’
I could only blink my eyes.
‘You will stay conscious but you won’t be able to resist. Exactly the way I want you.’
My breathing became laboured and I tried to focus on the radio to stay awake. It was almost impossible. The music sounded blurred, like Gabriel’s voice and then the heavy body that climbed on top of me. I closed my eyes. Tried to ignore the hands on my face, the stroking, the caresses and the warmth that took possession of me.
A gun shot snapped me back to life. Gabe’s body fell limply over me. I heard a noise and then I felt someone shaking me violently. My head seemed to be unable to support itself. It nodded backwards and forwards.
‘What have they done to you? Please wake up. Wait...’ Far, far away I heard mumblings and I felt something in my arm. ‘If it works, you’ll be back to life in a few minutes. Lucky for you I was a nurse.’
She dragged me off the bed and pulled me down a dark hallway, into another room. I heard a chair sliding across the floor. And again that pulling. This time harder.
‘Come on! Don’t leave me alone.’
‘Angel?’ I said, whispering. ‘Am I dead?’
‘No.’
I tried to focus. A weak light dangled above Angels head, like a halo.
‘You’re not dead. And neither am I.’ She bended over me and showed me the bandage that was wrapped around her waist. ‘The bullet didn’t touch any vital organs, it just went straight through. It just hurts a lot, although I took pain killers.’
Tears of happiness ran down my cheeks when Angel helped me to sit upright.
‘You saved me. How can I ever thank you?’
She smiled and her features became sharper. ‘Just breath calmly. You will be alright in a few minutes.’
‘You are stronger than I thought,’ I whispered.
‘I don’t feel strong, Naomi. After he shot me, he left me behind for dead. I thought that would be the end of it. But then something happened. As if you called for help, and gave me all your energy, so I followed you to that operating room. But when I noticed that I lost a lot of blood, I had to help myself first. I found bandages and medicine in the room next door. This gave me the possibility to watch his intentions. I saw that he had bandaged your head, I thought he would let you go. It was only later that I saw what he really intended.’
‘Did he rape me? He...’
‘No. I shot him in time.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You put your life on the line for me, in the arena,’ she said softly. ‘I put my trust in you and we are still alive.’
‘I don’t know what I would have done without you.’
She helped me stand up. In the distance, I heard a ship’s horn.
‘They are here...’ I whispered. ‘They are coming back!’
Angel hugged me so tightly that I almost fell over.
‘They are coming,’ I repeated. I still couldn’t believe that the viewers had listened to me.
‘It’s almost over, Naomi.’ She kissed me on my cheek. Looked at me with big eyes when I pushed her away. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Do you have the gun which you shot Gabe with?’
‘Of course.’
‘Will you give it to me?’
‘No.’ She shook her head.
When I frowned she thrust her hand out. Yet she gripped the thing so hard that I had to pull it out of her hand by force.
‘Don’t do it, Naomi.’
‘I must.’
‘No. We can go now. It doesn’t have to be like this.’
‘Angel.’ I embraced her and whispered, ‘I have to. For all the others. This will never end, not as long as he’s still alive. Tell our story. Tell them, OK?’
‘N-No.’ She was shaking.
‘Go.’ I gently pushed her off me. ‘Save yourself. Do it for me.’
She cried, pulled the chair away from the door and ran into the corridor. While I stayed behind in this tiny room with her revolver, I wondered whether I was crazy or not.
39
One happening in the past – when I was still a cute little kid of ten – always stayed with me. It was a cold winters day in January. The memory is increasingly vague. There is an image of a Christmas tree of which most of the pine needles had shed onto the wooden floor; all that was left was a skeleton of coloured balls and lights in front of the window. My mother asked me to take the dog out for a walk. I walked down our street, away to the little park, and I knew that something was wrong when I saw a group of boys playing on the field. The feeling that something dreadful was about to happen was so strong that I almost gagged when I passed them, ignoring their comments.
I remember everything that happened after sharply. How the fat boy yanked my ponytails. How the others laughed. That one that called me an ugly pig and the fat one asked the others if they could smell that stench too. Then he pushed me into the mud. That as I fell I dropped the dog’s lead – something I was never supposed to do – and that the Labrador realised that he could run away. How he barked at the dog across the street and sprinted off. Above all, I remember that sound of skidding tyres. The thump that followed and the whine that, I can still hear in my head when I hear the sound of skidding tyres.
He wa
iled pitifully, and then there was complete silence. The boys who ran off at lightning speed, while I lay motionless in the mud. I didn’t dare move anymore. Couldn’t anyway, I was so shocked. Above all, I remember that I closed my eyes in the hope that it was a nightmare -- but it wasn’t. And it was all my fault: I had dropped the lead and let Lucky go. So I was the one who had killed him.
When I finally opened my eyes I saw that Lucky stared at me with his eyes clouding over, with his tongue hanging out. I remember his convulsions and the blood that flowed from his torn skin. The driver of the brown Ford, who screamed for help franticly. And me? What did I do? I did nothing. Nothing at all. Only later – many years later – I set myself the rule that I would never be a passive observer again. Only now do I realise that what happened to Lucky influenced my whole personality, and that is the reason why, I am now trapped in this factory, with the revolver in front of me, wondering how in God’s name I could be so dumb as to go after Jack.
To calm myself, I recalled thoughts of that fat boy. I had seen him again later. He ignored me; He pretended he didn’t know me. That intrigued me so much that I began to stalk him. I studied his habits. I knew what time he had judo and I even checked the stuff that he threw in the rubbish. Then I got the idea to send him notes. I got a great deal of satisfaction, every time I picked up a blank sheet and wrote my message in red ink, I fantasised it was blood.
A feeling of excitement came over me when I licked the envelope with my tongue and wrote his name in blood red ink. When I put an exclamation mark after the name Tim and every time I hid in the bushes and saw that the postman delivered my letter. It felt so good, that I must have written him ten of those bloody letters. The last letter to Tim I wrote, I remembered exactly. Signed in graceful letters; “Lucky”. It was my last, because I no longer found it exciting, and my attention was focused on some boyband. Still Tim taught me a lot. That I would never die from grief. That I was stronger than I thought. That I would stay alive, and that I could relieve the pain that stayed with me by my bittersweet acts of revenge. I survived that trauma, I would also survive this. I could never let Jack go. He would continue the livestreams. He was Net X and I – I had to make sure he could never be another Tim.
