by Charley Lynn
“That’s good. ‘Cause I like Cruz. I’d hate to have to kick his butt.” Mike winked. “Now. My beautiful girl wants coffee and ice cream. So, we’re going to Smokey’s.”
While their coffee was brewing, Rosemary looked at the ice cream. “Have you decided what you want?” Mike peeked over her shoulder.
Straightening, she smiled and looked sideways at Mike, fluttering her eyelashes. Huskily, she purred, “I want a scoop of vanilla with…warm caramel sauce.”
Mike grinned. He ordered her ice cream, then stepped back and whispered in her ear. “You have totally lost the bet.”
“Hmm. It totally feels like I won.” Rosemary slipped her hand under his arm and into the crook of his elbow as she smiled up at him again.
“Me, too.” He squeezed her hand.
They settled at a small table. “I know you’ve always lived in Ivy, but did your mom and dad grow up in Ivy, too?” Rosemary took a sip of coffee.
“No, they both grew up in Pella. My grandparents all live in Pella. Grandpa Studor farms and works at VerMeer. Grandpa Moore teaches high school Ag and farms and Grandma Moore is the middle school principal.”
“You definitely have a family tradition of teaching.”
“Yeah. My dad’s brother is a math professor at Michigan. He doesn’t come around much though, I haven’t seen him since my dad’s funeral.”
“Don’t you get along with him?”
“Yeah, we do. He hasn’t been home since then. He has to publish to move up in his field, so he spends a lot of time writing.” Mike shrugged. “My grandma makes things hard on him. She did that to Dad, too. She can be ugly about things when they aren’t perfect. Like, really critical.”
“She’s critical of you?” Rosemary frowned.
“No, I’m the golden boy. But she ignores Miranda. She knows better than to say anything around me or Mom, but she avoids being around Miranda and she’s hard on Mom.”
Rosemary frowned. “I don’t understand how anyone could object to Miranda…or your mom. Miranda is so great. So is Patty.”
“I think so. She sees the Downs as some kind of genetic fail. There aren’t any pictures of Miranda around the house, except her current school picture is always out when we’re there. It wouldn’t surprise me if she puts it out for the visit, then puts it away.”
Chapter 31
Rosemary shut her notebook. “That’s it. We finished all the homework for the next two days. How was practice today?”
“Okay. Nothing new. We’re getting ready to play a team we’ve never played since it’s the playoffs.”
“Playoffs means…I know what it means, but how many levels are there to get to the championship?”
“We’re playing in the quarterfinals, that’s the first round. Semifinals are the second round and then the championship. Since you brought it up, I was hoping you’d come to the game Friday night.” He handed her four tickets. “Will you come? It’s in Carlisle.”
“I’ll have to cancel my class, but yeah, I’ll go. I won’t understand it…”
“You won’t need to.” He grinned. “I’ll be the tall guy wearing the number ten on my back. When I’m on the field, watch me. That’s all you have to do. Oh, and dress warm. It’ll be cold.”
“Okay.”
Rosemary took her dad and her brothers to the game. She did understand that when Mike was on the field, he would be trying to move the ball down the field. He would either throw it, hand it off or run it himself, trying to gain yards. All while trying not to get hit by the opposing team. John patiently answered her questions, but in the end, Rosemary took Mike’s advice. If he was on the field, she didn’t take her eyes off him. The only touchdown she actually saw was the one he scored himself.
After the game, John dropped her off at the high school as the team bus pulled in. She waited for Mike to get off the bus, smiling when he grinned at her.
“I’ll shower and change. Do you want to wait in my car, or come into the gym?”
Rosemary watched the cheerleaders standing in a big circle by their cars. “I’ll come into the gym, if that’s okay.” The gym was darkened, with only a few lights on at the perimeters, but it was warm. Rosemary settled down to wait at the end of the bleachers, in the near dark. She braced herself when she recognized Amy’s voice carrying up from the bottom of the stairs on the girl’s locker room side.
“Oh my gosh, Amy, it is so beautiful! When did you get it?”
“He took me to dinner on Sunday night. That’s when he gave it to me. He told me that even though there are rumors he’s dating that fat freak, they’re not true. He said he loved me.”
One of the girls squealed. “That’s so romantic! I knew it, I just knew it. I knew he loved only you. You two are so perfect for each other.”
“We are. He’s going to play in the NFL; I’ll stay home and have the kids. It’s what he’s always wanted. He hated it that his mom always worked and he doesn’t want our children brought up that way. I might even homeschool so our babies won’t have to be subjected to the public school system.”
“Are you going to get married after you graduate from high school?”
“Yeah, we want to get married before we go off to college. My daddy will buy us a condo in Iowa City because he’s going to go to University of Iowa. Mike is going to get me an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day.”
Another girl squealed. “You’re gonna have a big wedding, right? Can I be in it?”
“Of course we’re having a big wedding. It’ll be the biggest wedding Ivy’s ever seen. I’m going to Minneapolis over Thanksgiving to shop for my dress.”
Rosemary was confused. Mike was done with Amy. Wasn’t he? He’d kissed her last week during their date and he’d kissed her again when he brought her home. He’d told her she was beautiful. He said he’d wanted to kiss her for months. Was that all a lie? Was he going to humiliate her by leading her on and then telling everybody it was just a joke? He told her he’d gone to his grandparents for dinner on Sunday night and it had been late when he made it home…too late to call, he said.
She wanted to run, but she couldn’t. She just hoped they wouldn’t notice her when they came upstairs. Rosemary sat as still as she could, wishing she was anywhere but here. The girls’ voices receded; she was sure they were no longer at the bottom of the stairs. She stood, phone out to call an Uber, but put it away when she heard the laughing male voices and the feet hitting the stairs at the other end of the deck. Mike was at the end of the line of boys. “Hey, babe, I…what’s wrong?” Mike frowned.
“Uh, I uh need to go home.” Rosemary backed away from him.
“Okay, if you need to go home, I’ll take you home. I was hoping we could hang out for a while, but it’s up to you.”
Rosemary shook her head, avoiding Mike’s hand when he tried to grab hers. “I’m getting an Uber. I need to go.” She continued to back away, her eyes huge in her face. She needed to get away before she embarrassed herself and started to cry.
“I’ll take you. Come on.” Mike was finally successful in capturing her hand. Drawing her to him, he studied her face. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“I have to go,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.”
“You can’t do what?”
“I can’t take the chance that…” She hesitated when she heard running feet taking the stairs three at a time.
“Studor!” His friend Jake was breathless. “Studor, I gotta tell you something.”
“Keep it, Anders. We’re in the middle of something here.” He dipped his chin towards Rosemary. “I’m gonna take Rosemary home.”
“You need to hear this, Stud.” Jake rushed ahead, not giving Mike a chance to protest. “I saw lights in the cheerleader’s room; I headed over there hoping Kara was there, but it was four or five girls, cheerleaders and Amy.”
Mike stiffened. “I don’t want to hear anything about Amy.”
“You need to, man. She’s flashing a diamond ring she says you ga
ve her and she’s saying you’re getting married next summer.”
“She’s nuts!” Mike barked at Jake before he pulled Rosemary closer. “Is that what this is about, babe?”
Rosemary nodded. “I heard her tell her friends you gave her a promise ring and that you told her you loved her. She said you’re having a big wedding next summer.”
“Baby, none of that’s true. I don’t know what she’s playing at, but every word is a lie.” He pulled her closer and whispered, “It’s you, all you.”
“Geez, Studor, get a room.”
“Shut up, Anders.” Mike looked over his shoulder at his friend. “Thanks for the heads up, but we’re getting out of here.”
“Are you guys hitting Stadium View?”
“Not sure. Maybe.” Mike watched Jake leave, then he tightened his arms around Rosemary. “Want to just head to my house? Mom might need help with Miranda for a few minutes, anyway. She gets oppositional if she gets overtired and it’s way past her bedtime.”
“Okay,” Rosemary gave him a faint smile.
Patty was reading Miranda a story while Mike and Rosemary settled into the family room. “We can watch a movie if you want, but I’d rather wait until Miranda is down for the night.”
“That’s fine.”
“Will you come for the second round of the playoffs? It’s a week from Tuesday.”
“Sure.”
“I can get your tickets online. Hold on.” Mike tapped his phone. “The game’s in Pella, so it’s close.” He muttered to himself. “Reserved seating. Player family.” He tapped more. “There. Done. Your tickets will be in your email inbox.”
Rosemary tapped her phone and checked her email. “There they are.” She opened the email and read. “Mike! You only get six tickets in reserved seating and you gave me four of them? No, you need them for Patty and Miranda and your grandparents.”
“Nope. I won’t. I bought them for you. Rosemary, please. I need for you to be there.”
“Mike, what are you talking about? You’ve won every game this season and I was only at one game. You don’t need me.”
Mike held her gaze. “Yes, I do. You don’t know it yet, but I need you very much. I also want you there. It’s not about you being some kind of good luck charm; but I need for you to be there.”
“Mike…”
“Please, Rosemary, let me explain. I want to tell you something and I hope you’ll listen until the end. Will you?” He took her hand.
“Okay.”
Mike cleared his throat. “Remember that first time I came to church?” Mike lightly rubbed her fingers with his index finger for a long minute. Finally, he took a deep breath. “When I went to bed, I had no intention of going to church the next day. I had no intention of ever going to church again.”
“When my dad died, I stopped going to church. I’d always loved church. We were all together; I felt warm and safe, as part of my family and as a part of God’s family. Although I didn’t understand how to verbalize my feelings about church, on some level, I understood it. It was the best part of my week.”
Mike put his head down. When he spoke again, Rosemary had to lean closer to hear him. “Then, my dad was killed. I didn’t feel warm and safe anymore, no matter where I was.”
Rosemary reached over and took his hand in both of her own. Mike rushed on. “I couldn’t make myself go to church. I didn’t analyze it. I refused to talk about it. My mom tried to get me to talk about it; she even sent me to a therapist. I went to about a dozen sessions with the guy, but I wouldn’t talk to him. I sat there and I wouldn’t talk; I stared at the wall and refused to talk. Since I didn’t have any other behavioral problems or problems with grades, my mom gave me a pass on the therapy. She watched me like a hawk for at least a year, but the only thing I gave her any trouble about was going to church. I absolutely refused to go to church. She finally let it go.”
Mike watched Rosemary’s hands holding his. “I’ve thought a lot about going to church. I tried to figure out why the thought of church made me feel so awful. I thought it was because our family seemed so incomplete. That was some of it, but it wasn’t the worst part. I was afraid that I wouldn’t feel part of God’s family, even in His house. I couldn’t face that He might have deserted me so completely I wouldn’t even feel Him at church.” Rosemary held on tightly when his voice faltered.
After a long silence, Mike cleared his throat. “That night. The night before I came back to church. I woke up in the middle of the night because it felt like someone was rubbing my back. My dad always rubbed my back--if I was upset, or sometimes to help me fall asleep. The room was completely dark but I felt my dad. I felt him there with me. I was telling myself I was nuts, then he said, ‘hey, Mick,’ like he’d said a thousand times. I just knew he was there, I felt him.” Mike chuckled. “I even smelled his cinnamon gum. We talked. He said heaven is great.”
“Dad told me God loves me and He helps me out. He said God hasn’t deserted me and he asked me to go back to church. We talked about that a little bit, then he talked about you.” Rosemary’s eyes widened.
Mike squeezed Rosemary’s hand and smiled. “Dad said…that God had sent you to me. That it might not always be easy, but you were worth it and you would make me very happy. He said…he said that he didn’t know the details, but that for me, you and God were…together somehow. I didn’t completely understand it, but I think he meant that I need you, not only because you make me happy, but that you are important and…somehow—you are part of my path back to God.” Rosemary gasped.
“Don’t freak, baby. Let me finish.” Rosemary nodded, but her eyes were huge in her face. “The dream, or the visit, whatever it was, only lasted for a few minutes. After he left, I cried. I haven’t cried since a week after he was killed. After that, for the first time since my dad died, I prayed. I asked for help. I asked Him to help me find my way back to Him. I’ve prayed every night since and I always get the same answer. The same answer, over and over.”
“What is the answer?” Rosemary whispered.
“It’s only one word. Rosemary.”
Rosemary gasped again. “Mike, no!” She dropped his hand. “I don’t understand that at all!”
“I don’t either. But I know that God knows.” Mike said quietly.
“I can’t help you with God; I can’t. You can’t depend on me to help you. I’ll let you down.” She jumped up to run to the door, but Mike was fast and caught her at the door.
“Shh.” He took her into his arms and held her. “It’s all right. Hold onto me.” She held on tightly and cried. When she quieted, he picked her up and carried her to the couch, dropping down with her on his lap.
“Mike, I’m too heavy,” she whispered.
He chuckled. “Oh, no, you’re not.”
She tucked her head onto Mike’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what this is about, but I’m not the person—who can help you with God. I don’t think I can tell you right now what I mean. About what…what has happened. When you know the story, you’ll understand I’m not that person you need to help you find God.”
“Don’t worry about that now. We…you and me—we don’t have to worry about the timing—that’s worked out by Somebody Else.” Mike smiled. “As far as what you have to tell me? You can tell me anything. I don’t know what it is, but there’s nothing you can say that will change things. I can’t explain it; maybe I don’t even understand it, but I know that you and me…we’re forever.”
“Mike.” Rosemary raised her head and her eyes filled again. “I don’t think I believe in forever.”
“You will,” he whispered. He cupped her cheek with his big hand. “You’re so beautiful. Everything about you. Don’t shake your head; you’re beautiful.”
“Your mom’s calling you. I can hear Miranda, too. Patty must need your help.”
“I’ll be back. Don’t leave—it may take a little bit.”
Rosemary wavered between euphoria and fright. Trying to avo
id a full-on panic attack, Rosemary went to her playlist. She put her wireless earbuds in and chose some ballet music. She stepped into the middle of the dimly-lit room and did some simple steps, managing to lose herself in the music. While she danced, her thoughts swirled. An old conversation with Pete came into her mind. It took place at church camp, a few weeks after Rosemary had been humiliated by the boy in ninth grade who made fun of her because she liked him.
‘Rosemary, my sweet friend. God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have the best of the best. I know that guy hurt you. I know you think because he was a jerk, every guy will be a jerk. I know being so tall makes it worse. Most guys don’t catch up in height until they’re closer to eighteen and, unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t stop being jerks until they’re out of their teens. You may not find your person until you’re older, but he’s out there. You might not recognize him right now because he might still be five-two or he might be an ignorant jerk, or maybe a video-game-playing-fourteen-year-old-nerd, but some day you’ll meet him. That guy is gonna tell you you’re beautiful, talented, and that he loves you more than ice cream. Your job will be to listen to him, believe him and trust him.’
Rosemary smiled while she danced, remembering the conversation. They had been sitting on a dock, feet dangling in a lake, while the sun went down. The conversation had comforted her then, and it comforted her now. A few more steps in her dance, and then the music ended. She opened her eyes to find Mike standing a few feet away, watching.
She took out her ear buds. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Mike smiled gently. “I love watching you dance.”
“Thanks. It helps me think.”
Mike moved closer and took her into his arms. “I have to confess that I’ve watched you before. A few weeks ago, you were dancing in the church studio and you didn’t hear me come in. I watched you for at least ten minutes without you realizing it. I was blown away by how talented you are.”
“You’re a sneaky one, Mike Studor.” She smiled and hid her head on his shoulder. “I’m not as scared as I was,” she whispered.
