“Whatever,” she says finally. I release a small breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. This could be the worst idea ever – or the best.
Chapter 3
Aric
I can practically feel Sen’s body vibrating next to me, even though there’s a good ten inches between us. My fingers itch as they mechanically doodle in the margins of the paper we’ve been given – the paper that brings together a group of kids that used to be closer than family. But there are so many secrets and years between us now that we can’t just fall back into old routines without a little bit of drama. It’s not something I’m looking forward to. I hate drama.
“So what media are we going to focus on?” Manny asks, getting right down to business. I’ve talked to him once or twice over the last couple of years. He wanted to know why Sen no longer spoke to him. I couldn’t tell him. After that summer, she pulled away from all of us. Even though I still see her more often than the other three guys, I never push. And she doesn’t push me. We both have our secrets. The only thing I can do is be there for her. I was never enough for her – not by myself.
Orion glances at the paper again. He gets the same bad rap as Apollo because they’re always together, but I’ve heard the rumors aren’t as accurate as they try to make them be. They act like asses so that they can remain untouchable. Orion is still the prankster; Apollo is still the silent one that uses his body more than his brains according to the rumors. Those aren’t the boys I knew as kids. They wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I’m sure they’ve partied and fucked as much as people say. You don’t get reputations without doing some of the work.
“We have you for graphic design and formatting.” Orion waves the paper toward Manny. I’m sure Manny could do a ton of other shit too, but that’s his listed specialty. “Two writers – me doing journalism and Senya for the creative writing and poetry.” He looks at Sen, and I imagine I can see the yearning inside him. I wonder if he’s been carrying a candle for her just like I have. We all circled around her as kids, planets around her sun. She was so full of life and never failed to find the silver lining until it seemed like the universe conspired to change all of our lives. “And two artists – photography and sketch.” Orion points to Apollo and then me.
“So, maybe a magazine?” Manny asks. I can see the gears already moving in his brain. The kid really is a fucking genius. A shoo-in for valedictorian in a class of over four hundred and probably offered a free ride to every Ivy league school in the US, even though his dad and stepmother aren’t poor so he doesn’t need the scholarships like Sen and I do.
That’s not true. Every kid in America needs a scholarship because college is so fucking expensive. But there’s no question whether he’ll go or not. He will; we might not.
“They don’t make magazines anymore,” Sen scoffs. Manny stiffens. His dark eyes flicker briefly with pain and the anger that always simmered under the surface as kids. I know he got the best end of the deal when their parents died, but Sen’s taken it out really hard on him. I’ve asked her why, but she doesn’t answer. She’s always been a stubborn kid, but there’s something I’m not aware of. She has to have a reason, but she also wouldn’t admit if she were wrong.
“They do,” Orion interjects smoothly, and I almost smile at how easily we fall into our old roles. I know we’re not the same people anymore, some of us more than others, but it takes me back to when times were easier.
“Digital media is where it’s at,” Sen argues. Everyone considers her words. That hasn’t changed. When she speaks, we listen.
“But how many people are going to be doing that?” I’m not surprised Manny is sticking to his guns. If anyone can match her stubbornness, it’s him. “Half the kids will probably do a digital magazine or blog because it’s easy. There’s something to be said for taking the hard way.”
“The hard way or the dinosaur way?”
“Sen,” I murmur and it’s like all the breath gets sucked out of our little circle. Apollo stiffens so much I think he’s going to bust out of the student desk like the Hulk. Orion is trying to break his pencil, and Manny looks away with clenched fists, his anger just under the surface. It takes me a minute to figure out what happened. Right. I called her by her nickname, the one we all used to use. She looks at me, her blue eyes like ice.
“He has a point,” I say gently, hoping she doesn’t hate me now. “Besides, print media will transfer sketches better.” I smile a little, just for her. She’s the only one I give my real smile to – her and my little sister. I make it sound like a selfish request, but in my head, I’m thinking that a print version will force us to spend more time together. It won’t be as simple as handing everything to Manny and having him arrange it.
She shrugs and looks away, biting her lip like she always does. She thought when she got her tongue pierced, it would stop the bad habit, but she still does it. I won’t ever admit to her how many nights the thought of that tongue ring kept me up – literally.
“Fine.” She spits the word.
Orion glances behind us at the clock. I’m both surprised and disappointed that the class is almost over. “We should talk about when we’re going to meet. Mrs. Desmon said we won’t have much class time to do stuff together.”
Manny taps his pencil against his notebook and fiddles with his glasses. How he manages to pull off the sexy nerd look, I’ll never know. The cheerleaders might look down on him, but the girls in the chess club practically drool when he walks by. As far as I know, he doesn’t even know girls exist. But the way he looks at Sen, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he only has eyes for one girl. My lips press together. They used to be siblings, in a way. They were both three when their parents got married, thirteen when they died. They’d always been more friends than siblings, though.
“I have obligations for class president and swim team, but I’m sure I can get one or two nights a week free.”
“Football season is over, but we’re considering soccer in the spring. Tryouts are next week,” Orion says smoothly.
Senya shuts her notebook noisily and reaches over to grab her bag. The student desk doesn’t hide the strip of skin that’s revealed between her cute little skirt and thermal shirt when she leans over. I smirk when every single eye in the circle is drawn to it like moths to a flame.
“I have to work three nights a week,” she mutters as she shoves her notebook into the bag.
“You work?” Apollo asks, his eyes wide. It’s the first time he’s spoken.
Sen opens her mouth, and I just know she’s going to say something she can’t come back from, so I talk before she can.
“I work too. My schedule is a little bit more open, though. How about we get each other’s numbers and set up a group chat? That way we can figure this out.” The bell is going to ring in three minutes, and I want to grab Sen before she ghosts me like she’s so good at.
Sen grumbles a noise but grabs the blue paper and writes her number down next to her name. I know she has a cheap-ass phone just so she can keep in touch with work, so I’m not surprised she doesn’t pull it out in front of everyone. Mine’s a little better. We may be poor, but Dad’s rich sister likes sending us gifts. It’s probably to make up for the fact that she can’t visit often and has a lot of guilt over the years her brother was an ass to my sister and me. He’s better now, though. Unlike Sen, I’m not going to hold everyone’s history over them forever.
Everyone else pulls out their phone and types her number in. Apollo sits forward. “Send us a text back so it’s easier to set up the group thing.” Apollo and Orion may be the same size, but Apollo has a heavy presence. He’s intimidating as fuck. When he leans forward, Sen leans back. She’s not scared of him, but she gets this deer in the headlights look.
I pull out my phone. “I’ll do it,” I offer, and though everyone gives me a look, the guys give me their numbers and I send a group text. Phones vibrate and ping in everyone’s hands.
Mrs. Desmon approaches our small group. “Are you ge
tting everything set up?” she asks innocently. I can’t look at her, too afraid my guilt will be easy to see. I’ve always loved Mrs. Desmon. She used to be our neighbor before we moved because of Dad’s job and Mom abandoning us.
I can’t let anyone else find out that I set this up. I’ll never live it down.
Chapter 4
Senya
My nerves are buzzing so loudly by the time the bell rings, I’m ready to spring out of my seat and run down the hall. What the hell was I thinking? What are the odds? My lip is rough and practically bleeding and my teeth hurt from clacking my tongue stud against them.
I’d thought the worst part would be the past between us. I hadn’t been counting on the fact that they’d all grown up and so had I. And they’re all hot. Even Manny, because of his swim team stuff and the half-Latino heritage that gives him a nice tanned tone year-round and black, silky hair, makes my heart beat faster. My hormones are fighting with my better sense. It’s stupid because I’ve managed to keep a lid on my horniness far better than most teenagers. Why now?
My first instinct is to run away as fast as I can, but I refuse to reveal how utterly tangled up I feel right now. I can also tell Aric wants to talk. He has this quiet intensity to him, and even though I know his home life isn’t much better than mine, he’s always making sure everyone is okay. Kind of like Orion. He hasn’t changed at all. Apollo though, I’m not sure. He was usually quiet, but now he’s almost impossible to read. He’s like a block of stone.
Manny, I’m not sure about. He’s definitely come into his own, but I still sense the angry, insecure genius under his outward confidence. He should know why I no longer talk to him. We lived together for ten years, not counting the times he’d go home to the dad who still wanted him. We did everything together all those years. Usually, those things included Aric and the brothers, but not always. I remember amusement park trips and road trips as a family where we could laugh at our parents’ sickly-sweet romance. No one loved each other more than his mom and my dad. It had been the best part of my life.
I’d thought Manny would always be there for me. I’d been wrong.
I stand up and ignore them, hiking my backpack onto my shoulder. Manny stands next to me, and I’m not really surprised that he’s taller than me. He reached his growth spurt after the others, but I’m only 5’3”. It doesn’t take much to be shorter than every guy, and almost every girl, I know.
“So, we’ll text with a time to meet?” he asks. He’s staring at me. I don’t focus on his dark eyes, so black I could drown in them. His intensity nearly sucks the air from the room.
I force myself to give him a noncommittal shrug. I’m halfway out the room before I hear Aric call my name. So close. I almost get away. But Aric has been there for me, even if he doesn’t realize when or why. Just seeing him takes me back to better times, and I leaned on him while I tried to recreate myself after the horrible time in my life. But I never really let him back in and he never forced his way. It’s the only reason he’s still my friend.
“How are you doing with all this?” he asks as he shortens his stride to accompany me down the hall. Behind us, I can hear Jack bitching to the brothers. The fact that they even hang out with that douche drops them down a couple of notches in my eyes.
I don’t even look at him as we weave our way through the crowded halls. “What are the odds, Aric? Seriously?” I side-eye him when he doesn’t say anything. Intuition hits me like a freight train. I stop in the middle of the hallway, stepping in front of him. He has to quit walking or risk knocking me over.
“You didn’t?” I ask in a low voice. The tone of my voice makes him flinch while his pale blue eyes dart back and forth. To everyone else, he’s the loner, the brooder, the cool bad boy that’s untouchable. Not to me. He’s just my friend. At least he used to be.
Realizing we’re blocking traffic and people are giving us dirty looks, he gently takes my elbow and leads me toward the lockers lining the walls. “You knew there was a chance we’d all be in the same class when you signed up, right, Sen?”
My teeth grit together so hard I think they might break. My finger pokes his hard chest, irritated when his skin doesn’t yield a centimeter under my touch. “Yeah, but I didn’t sign up for this, Aric.”
“Just give it a chance, Senya,” he pleads. He rarely uses my full name.
He doesn’t understand, and I don’t want to explain it. He doesn’t get that this isn’t just a fun reunion. Those boys hurt me and I hurt them in return because I was pissed and stupid. I can’t let them back in like nothing happened.
What happens when they leave again? How can I forgive them when they made it clear they didn’t give a shit what was going on in my life? And now? I don’t want them to know what my life was, or is, like. I can’t bear their pity.
“I have to go to work,” I grumble and walk away from him, ignoring all the glances sent my way. The stoners whistle at me as I walk past their corner on the way to the parking lot, the sweet scent of bud following me. They’ve tried to bring me into their clique, along with the artsy nerds, but I don’t want a group. I’m better off alone. Deep down, I know that no group will ever compare to my childhood with the guys.
I’m still vibrating with anger and uncertainty while I put my helmet on. The shitty crotch rocket is only sticking together because Aric is a whiz with anything mechanical. It still gets me where I need to go since I can’t rely on my mom to help. It takes several tries to get it started before I pull out of the school parking lot, ignoring everything else around me. Although I’m worried about various parts falling off at any minute, I love my bike. I can use it year-round because we live in the South, and it doesn’t cost as much to fuel as a car would. I could take public transportation, but it takes so much longer to get places.
I still haven’t calmed down when I pull up outside our shitty apartment complex. The stink of weed and urine makes me gag as I make my way down the second-floor hallway. The fluorescent lighting strips above me flicker like they would in a horror movie.
I can’t decide how I feel. In a way, it felt good being around the others. Besides Manny, I hadn’t felt any animosity from them, even though I’ve been a bitch to all of them every time they’ve tried to talk to me over the last three years. It would be better if they hated me. I’m still deciding whether I need the class while I stick my key in the door and open it.
The bitter scent of weed had been coming from our apartment. My body freezes when I think about what that means. Mom can’t afford it on her paltry disability pay. The tang of alcohol mingles with the weed. I rearrange the keys in my fist so that one of them pokes out between my fingers.
“Senya? Is that you?” The forced cheer in my mother’s voice sends another warning bolt down my spine. I send up a small prayer to her false god, even though I know damned well no one is listening. The front room is dark for the most part, blackout curtains pulled against the bright January day. She’s not alone. I know it the minute I step inside.
“Just changing for work,” I grunt, keeping my voice level. I turn on the kitchen light so that some illumination makes it into the living room. I need to know what I’m up against.
“Oh, Senny, turn that light off. I have a headache.”
More like she has a hangover. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her hair is drooping with hairspray. Old makeup smears across her face. She hadn’t been home when I left for school that morning, and I should have known that only meant trouble. I prefer her bouts of depression because no one comes home with her.
Mom’s latest conquest stares; his greasy eyes travel over me. “Rhonda. You didn’t tell me you had such a mature daughter.”
Fuck. Why couldn’t my mother find someone that wouldn’t prey on teenage girls? It happens so often, I would have sworn she did it on purpose. But she hates it when they pay attention to me instead of her.
The douche sitting next to Mom has a comb-over and a beer belly. He has to be over forty. A shitty catch even for her.
A lit joint sits on the table between them. “Want a hit, girlie?” he asks. The light of the kitchen glimmers in his eyes.
“No thanks,” I say, flicking the switch and booking it to my room. Thankfully, I still have a lock. I’d had to reinstall it after her last boyfriend broke it, but there’s an extra hook and latch just for my peace of mind. Not that it matters that much. Still, I flick the bolt and secure the latch before I strip off my school clothes for my work uniform: red shirt and khaki pants. Being a stock-girl at the department store isn’t a glorious job, but it pays better than fast food.
It only takes me minutes. I repack my bag with the homework I can work on during my break. Even though it’s the first day of the second semester, our math and science teachers started off hard. I have nothing better to do, although my mind itches to work on a new story. It’s been prodding at the edges of my brain all day.
I’m hoping the creep will be gone when I emerge from my room, but he isn’t. Instead, he’s leaning against the island between the kitchen and the living room. I’ll have to go by him to get out the door. I would roll my eyes if I didn’t want to cause more trouble for myself. Is there a manual for creepy dudes? They all do the same shit.
I stand in front of him, irritated that he’s at least five inches taller than me. “Can you move? I have to go to work.”
He looks like he’s about to say something, but my mom calls him. His eyes travel down my body before he reluctantly moves away. My skin shivers in disgust. I refuse to go back to the terror of middle school. Thankfully, her latest boyfriends have had months in between them or have been too high to care about me. I prefer them that way, not like the man she’d been with when I was put in her care by the courts after Dad died. I still have nightmares of that time.
Lost & Found: Contemporary Reverse Harem Page 2
