“I’m not going to start drinking again,” he grumbles as he drops the coffee pot into the holder a little too loudly.
I can’t help it. I flinch, and I can see that it makes him flinch in return. When he drinks, he gets mean and he makes a lot more noise. I’m not the little boy I used to be, but I still don’t want to go back to that.
He sighs and swipes at his face. “Your mom called. She wants to move and take Daisy with her.”
My eyebrows rise. “What?” I can’t decide what I’m feeling. It’s mostly anger at my mom for just up and leaving and ignoring us except for one or two obligatory visits. She really only came back into our lives after I turned seventeen and she felt better about not including me with my sister. There are probably a million unresolved wounds deep inside me about why my mom doesn’t want me. But Daisy…
“Where is she moving to?” Maybe if I focus on the hard details, I won’t get so caught up in the emotions.
“Gainesville. Aric, I only get every weekend with her anyway. I don’t want to lose that.” Dad must be really upset if he’s actually baring his heart to me.
“Gainesville isn’t that far, Dad. She can still come for her visits, right?”
Dad’s fingers tighten around his coffee mug, and I hope he doesn’t break it. All our dishes are on their last leg, just like everything in the house. “Lucinda doesn’t want to deal with visits. She wants to use my past against me to cut off ties.”
I stand up, running a hand through my shoulder length hair. “She can’t do that!” I hate my mom in that minute. It’s been brewing a while. She’s always been a selfish woman. I took care of my sister more than she did.
“But she can. I’m a recovering alcoholic and I don’t have enough money to hire a lawyer to fight her.”
“Y’all have a custody agreement.”
“One I’d have to pay to fight if I wanted to enforce it. You know her husband is a lawyer, Aric. The bastard has been looking to stick it to me since they married.”
“This is so fucked up,” I breathe loudly. I hear stories from the guys at work about how their estranged wives take them for all they’re worth. A lot of them are really good dads, but they don’t make enough as mechanics, or they don’t have a degree, or they have some bad habits. The local judge always seems to side with the mother. I know it isn’t like that everywhere, but our county is one of the more conservative ones and the presiding judge is old-fashioned.
“They don’t even want Daisy,” I continue, channeling the rage Dad is trying to hide. Very little upsets me, but I would move heaven and earth to take care of my sister. I even considered getting custody of her when I turned eighteen. Her weekends with us have her arriving with shadows in her eyes and flinching at every loud noise. I know it isn’t all from Dad’s bad time. Mom treats her like a doll. She dresses her up and forces her to hang out with the popular girls at her school, even though she’d rather draw and listen to indie rock with the alternative kids. Her stepfather doesn’t give a shit about her. She’s just a pawn to get at my dad because he hates that my mom ever slept with my dad. Dude is a grade-A asshole and has some serious jealousy issues.
“You think I don’t know that?” Dad asks. Anger is starting to edge out the sadness in his voice.
I stand up and put a hand on his shoulder; we’ve been the same height since I was in eighth grade. I wait until his eyes meet mine. “We’ll fight this, Dad. I’ll use my college money if I have to. Daisy needs us, even if it is only weekends and summers. I don’t want to see what would happen if she loses this part of her life.” He knows what I’m talking about. I think Daisy would become a little Stepford Barbie if we didn’t remind her that life isn’t only Gucci and cheerleading. It’s not that she wants it; she just doesn’t like to fight so she goes along with it. At least here she can be herself.
“You can’t use your college money. You worked hard for that money, Aric.”
“Dad, I don’t give a shit. Daisy is far more important. What I want to do doesn’t require college. I can draw without classes, and I’ll learn more in any shop than I will in any mechanics course. But you have to stay strong too.” I don’t say it, but we both know what I mean. If he goes back to drinking, there’s no way he’ll be able to fight for anything. We’ll never see Daisy again.
He nods. “I’ll go to a meeting during lunch. You better get moving so you’re not late.”
I glance at the clock. “You’re right. I have to take a helmet to Senya.”
A ghost of a smile graces his lips. “How is she?” Although my house wasn’t the usual hangout, we rotated in and out all of them. We had sleepovers at the old house until my mom started being a bitch about it.
“Her mother makes Mom look like the poster child for motherhood, but she’s okay.”
“She’s lucky to have you,” Dad mutters as I grab some Pop Tarts and head to the garage for my bike. But she doesn’t have me, and it’s my own fault. I don’t know why I’ve been holding her at arm’s length. Last night, with all of us together, it had driven home how nice it felt. The twins and Manny might be in different places, but Sen understands a little of my life. I should make more of an effort. Part of me is just scared, though. What if I’m not enough? I never felt like I could keep her happy just by myself. I needed the other guys to round me out.
Although I texted Sen that I’m running late, I still rush over to her place, guilty that she has to wait for me. She’s pacing next to her bike when I pull up. I’m scared that she’s mad at me until I see her back tire. It’s flat, but not just flat. It’s been sliced open. I pull off my helmet.
“That fucking bastard,” she fumes. Her body vibrates with anger.
“Who? What happened, Sen?”
She points to her tire. I see the tears her anger is trying to hide. Her blue eyes are too shiny and bright in the dim humidity of the morning. “Before I left this morning, he told me he could drive me. I know he did this.”
“Who?” I ask again, confused.
“Mom’s latest boy toy, Larry the creeper.”
“You think he did this so you needed to ask him for a ride to school?” I ask, trying to clarify the situation. She glares at me and I flinch under the weight of her anger.
“I know he did!” she practically screams. A mom trying to buckle three squirming kids into the back seat of a beat up Camry frowns our way.
I slip off my bike and hold her upper arms, effectively halting her pacing. I lower my head to her level and wait until she meets my eyes before I speak. “Sen. I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.”
Her eyes search mine for the truth before she nods and pulls her lip in between her teeth.
“I’ll take you to school. After school, we’ll take the bike to the shop and I’ll fix it.”
“I have to work tonight. Even if we fix it, he might just do it again.”
“We’ll make sure you get to work.” I know any of the guys will help if we ask. But she’s right about the other thing. It would only take a minute for him to slash a new tire. “As for the creeper, we’ll figure it out, okay?” Her lower lip trembles and my heart flips in my chest. Her tears will have the same effect on me as my sister’s – turn me into a pile of mush right there on the asphalt and make me eager to do anything to make them go away. “You’re not alone, Sen.”
“I’m always alone,” she mutters. If I hadn’t been so close to her, I might not have heard the words. I react on instinct and pull her into me just like I would my sister if she was upset. She doesn’t feel like my sister, though. Her breasts press against my chest and her slim arms wrap around me. Although she’s much shorter, she feels perfect against me.
“Look,” I murmur into her hair. “I know I haven’t been there for you when you really needed me. I’m sorry, and I won’t let it happen again.” She smells like lavender soap and cheap coconut shampoo. Her short curls tickle my face. I wait until she softens in my arms. I know what she’s t
hinking. She won’t believe me, not until I prove it.
“We should go to school,” she grumbles against my chest and starts to pull away. I stop her before she can leave me entirely. I don’t want to let her go yet.
“That asshole isn’t doing anything else, is he?” I have to know. I try to keep the anger from my words. It’s layered with guilt that I wasn’t here the last time it happened because I know it’s happened before.
She shuffles her feet. “Not yet,” she mutters before she breaks away from me.
“He won’t get to that point,” I tell her but she doesn’t respond. I hand her the extra helmet I’d brought with me and slide onto my bike. When she climbs on behind me and tentatively wraps her arms around my waist, I have to fight my body’s reaction to her nearness. I haven’t taken anyone on my bike with me except my sister. I like it. I like the press of her body against mine and her little hands meeting on my stomach. I clasp her hands momentarily, making sure she’s holding on tight before reversing out of the parking spot. I imagine Larry the creeper is waiting for her to crawl back upstairs and ask for a ride, but he doesn’t know Senya like I do. The only reason she’s accepting my help is because she doesn’t have a choice.
Chapter 11
Senya
Aric smells like leather and grease. Although it never looks like he has any grease or oil on him, the scent follows him around. I love it. He once confessed that he’s tired of people thinking blue-collar work is less than other kinds of work. Building engines is like artwork to him – a massive puzzle. I’ve seen him do it and never understood why he gets less money than someone who sits in front of a computer. It takes skill to do what he does, and our society relies on that skill.
His smell reminds me of my bike – the freedom it gives me when I need to run. Just the thought has my hands tightening around his waist again. Fucking asshole. I know Larry did this. I’d tried to slip out quietly like usual, not knowing if he’d spent the night. It was almost like he’d been waiting for me, though. When I got out of the shower, he’d been sitting in the kitchen in nothing but a wife-beater over his paunchy stomach and boxers. If I’d had anything more than a granola bar in the last eighteen hours, I might have puked all over the kitchen at the sight. When he’d smugly offered a ride, my only thought was that I needed to get out of there as fast as I could. Then I’d seen my bike. Knowing Aric was on his way was the only thing that stopped me from going back upstairs and kicking him right in the balls with my heavy boots.
I try to ignore how Aric feels against me, but it’s impossible. His abs are tight under my hands; I can feel the muscles flexing when he leans into the curves. He’s leaner than the other guys, but he’s not skin and bones. I’m thanking whatever cosmic forces that encouraged me to put on leggings this morning instead of my usual thigh-high socks under my skirt. If it weren’t for them, my panties would be pressed right against the jeans hanging low on his hips. His hair tickles my face and I lean my cheek against his leather jacket and breathe him in. For a second, I allow myself to take comfort in him. I guessed he always knew my secret, but his words proved it. He might say he’ll help, but I know how this goes. He has his own problems without dealing with mine.
The low rumble of the engine hides the chatter of the students as we pull into the parking lot. When he turns off the bike, they explode around us.
“Ah, the ice princess thaws out to slum it.” Jack’s voice is the last thing I want to hear. “If you want something to ride, I have something for you!” His shouted offer is accompanied by snickers and laughs.
My jaw tightens as I force myself to look. If Apollo and Orion are with that asshole, I’m never forgiving them. But they aren’t, and I can’t deny how good that makes me feel. They must be running late, because their truck isn’t in its usual spot. I’m ready to march over there and punch him in his ugly face, but Aric slings an arm over my shoulder like he knows what I’m thinking.
“He’s not worth it, Sen.”
I release a huff. I’d really like to take my anger out on the bane of my high school existence, but Aric is right. If I punch him, I’ll probably get suspended. I don’t want to spend more time at home than I need to.
“Why’d you ride in together?” I don’t even see Manny until he’s right behind us. He studies the bike with its two helmets and then eyes the arm around my shoulder. His eyes burn, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking.
“My tire’s flat,” I say before Aric can tell him everything. They share one of those looks like they’re talking telepathically before Manny nods and lets it go.
“Do you need a ride home?” Manny asks as Aric steers me toward school. His arm is still around my shoulder. I don’t throw it off even though we’re drawing a lot of looks. I haven’t dated anyone in this school and the curious looks combine with various envious ones. Aric is a hot commodity. A lot of girls want to understand the ‘tortured artist.’ There’s not as much mystery to him as they think, but that doesn’t stop them from wanting him.
“I have to work after school.”
“Do you need a ride to work?” One thing hasn’t changed about Manny. He’s still persistent as fuck. It’s how he does so well in school and swimming and everything else he puts his mind to. Everything is always one hundred percent.
“Don’t you have some club meeting or something?” I can’t keep the bitterness from my voice.
I have to give Manny credit. He doesn’t even flinch. He’s the shortest of the guys and I don’t have to ruin my neck to look up at him like I do with the others. His intense, dark eyes don’t waver as they focus on me. “I don’t have anything I can’t get out of. Do you need a ride to work?”
I sigh. “Aric has already offered.”
The two boys share another look over my head but I ignore them. My stomach wants to eat me. It growls embarrassingly loud, and I shake Aric off to head to my locker. My senses tell me they’re right behind me, but I ignore them. My locker is on the bottom row and I only use it in the morning to switch out books I don’t need. My head swims when I stand back up. I barely notice the strong hand that grabs my elbow when my vision goes black for a second.
Manny steps closer and studies my face. “What’s wrong?” His voice is low and soft. His hand on my elbow feels like fire licking up my arm.
“Just a head rush,” I lie.
He could always see right through me. “When was the last time you ate?” He leans into me and I back up. My spine hits the lockers behind me as I attempt to still my beating heart. I’m glad he whispers the question. One question like that and the next rumor around school will be that I’m anorexic and starving myself for attention. Teenagers can get so creative; it’s frightening.
“I’m fine.”
“Senya,” Manny says my name so intensely that it sends a shiver down my spine. I silently curse at my body. This guy used to be my step-brother! I shouldn’t be attracted to him. Especially not after what he did – or didn’t do. “When did you last eat?”
Not wanting to cause more of a scene, I answer. “Last night. Look, I’ll be fine.”
“What did you eat?”
“Damn. Can’t you just fucking drop it?” My voice is rising and I don’t complain when he pulls me away from the lockers until I realize where we’re going. He’s practically dragging me back toward the parking lot, his dark hand entwined around my pale one. Aric walks just behind us and it seems like the crowd parts. The attention is starting to bother me, though. I want to go back to last semester when I was happily invisible.
“What’s going on?” Orion’s interested voice makes me groan out loud. “Where’s Senya’s bike?”
“Fuck,” I mutter. We’ve reached an emptier spot in the hall. The two bulky football players join our little group, drawing even more attention.
“Did you get my text?” Manny asks. My eyebrows draw together when Orion holds out a fast food bag. Greasy goodness wafts from the brown bag and my stomach growls again. When did Manny send a text? And
how did they get here so fast? I feel like I’ve entered an alternate dimension.
Manny snatches the bag and shoves it into my hands. “Eat. And I’ll take you to work after school.” He watches me until I pull the sandwich out and take an exaggerated bite.
“Happy now?” I ask with my mouth disgustingly full.
Although I’m trying to be rude on purpose, it doesn’t seem to bother Manny. He’s only focused on the fact that I’m eating. “Yes,” he says.
I roll my eyes at all of them and slip away before one of them can grab me again. I can’t handle the overbearing testosterone from the four seniors. It’s practically rushing over me in huge, cresting waves.
“See you in class!” Orion yells after me, gathering a few more curious looks and whispers.
I put my head down so my hair covers my face again. Fucking boys. They can’t do anything subtly. Still, though, as I happily munch on the breakfast sandwich, I can’t help but smile in satisfaction. It’s my favorite. Just sausage and cheese on a biscuit with no rubbery egg. I have no idea how they got my favorite so fast, but my stomach doesn’t care.
The morning goes all right until third period. After math, I slip into the bathroom before lunch. A girl I’ve seen around but never spoken to does a double take while she’s washing her hands. “You’re Manny’s sister!”
“Uh, no,” I stammer as I study her face. Did we know her in elementary? Who is this chick? She’s not dressed like one of the Abercrombie Barbies, but her clothes are still really nice and far too sophisticated for a high school senior. Her hair is professionally dyed and her nails are manicured. Point being, she doesn’t live on my side of town.
“But you used to be, right? That’s why he’s talking to you?”
Lost & Found: Contemporary Reverse Harem Page 7
