Orion’s absence leaves a gaping hole in our group that’s obvious when we pull up to the school. I can’t believe how fast I feel included again. Manny and Apollo hang out together in front of the brothers’ truck as if they didn’t have a different social group just last week. Strange looks are sent our way and people talk under their breath, but no one wants to be the next one punched so they don’t say anything out loud. It makes me wonder how integrated the Tuckers were in the first place. Manny always seemed to avoid any kind of social interaction in groups besides the swim team or the clubs he was on, so that isn’t as weird.
Aric takes my helmet and grabs my hand, leading me toward the others. Apollo’s impressive form is made even more unbelievable dressed in a tight, long-sleeved shirt and dark-washed jeans that cling to all his muscles. He leans against the back of his truck, and his eyes blaze as he watches me cross the parking lot.
Manny stares at his phone until we get closer. When his head jerks up, his eyes are dark. His gaze runs from my toes to the top of my head. Heat washes through me.
When I’m in arm’s reach, Apollo tugs me to him. He wraps himself around me, burying his nose in my hair. “I missed you,” he whispers.
“It’s only been overnight,” I tease him, but my heart soars with happiness. I haven’t felt so hopeful and carefree in so long; it sends worry through me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve lived the last five years in a void of emotion and a shroud of fear. Sending it all away at once is not going to be easy for me. Apollo’s body presses against mine. He’s all hard muscle, and the way his hand strokes up and down my back makes my stomach flutter. I gave up on sex after my experiments with guys in eighth and ninth grade. The touch from these men, knowing they’re safe and won’t hurt me, brings all the sexual frustration I’ve been ignoring to my attention.
“Share,” Manny grunts. Apollo reluctantly releases me into Smartypants’ arms. His body is leaner and shorter, but still just as hard. His lips brush my temple, and the heat within me multiplies.
“Speaking of sharing,” I mutter.
“Not here,” Manny says softly.
I nod only because I know how nosy our classmates are. It’s probably not something we’ll talk about at school. “When?” I have to know. It’s been bugging me all night.
“After work?” he asks and raises his eyebrows at the two other guys. They share a secret look.
“You can’t do that,” I complain.
“What?” Aric asks as I untangle myself from Manny and stand in the little half-circle they make.
“You guys can’t just share secret looks and not tell me.”
Manny glances at the other two before meeting my eyes. “The guys and I are going to talk tonight while you’re at work, and we’ll talk to you afterward.”
My lips turn down. “You’re going to make the decision without me?” I ask accusingly.
Manny rolls his eyes, and I resist the urge to punch him in his hard stomach. “No, but it’s no use talking to you if we’re not on the same page. I thought it would be good for all of us to express our intentions to each other and then come to you so we know what we’re asking for.”
“That still seems messed up,” I grumble, but I suppose it kind of makes sense. Maybe they don’t all want to date me despite the texts last night. Maybe they can’t handle it. Maybe they’ll be too jealous.
Do I want them all to date me? I kind of do. Fuck society and what other people think. I have feelings for all of them and I’m attracted to all of them. If they feel the same way, I have no problems sharing. But it’s not fair to them – sharing me while I get to enjoy all of them.
“Okay, fine. How’s Orion?” I ask Apollo as I turn around. Aric catches my hand again, and he holds it loosely. Weight seems to have dropped off him after his call to his aunt. I’m really hoping it works out. I don’t want any more tragedy to hit our little group.
“Bored,” Apollo answers. “He told me to tell you that he can’t wait to see you tonight, so you have to come over after work.”
I shrug. “Okay. It will be kind of late, but fine.” The truth is that I want to see them too. “My mom has been in and out. She’ll probably be there tonight, though. She doesn’t have any money, and there’s food now.”
“You should spend the night,” Apollo says quickly.
My brows rise. “Where?”
“At our house. Our parents aren’t going to be there.” His dark green eyes are unreadable.
I squirm. “I don’t want to make your parents mad.”
“Orion and I are both over eighteen, and you have four months left, Pixie. Our parents are cool with us doing things as long as we’re not breaking any laws. And don’t worry, we’re not going to seduce you. A nice night of movies and junk food sounds relaxing.”
I stare at Apollo. He rarely speaks so much at once, and I wonder if he feels pressured to add what his brother would say if he were here. “What if I want you to?”
Apollo freezes and Manny inhales a sharp breath behind me. He’s standing so close, I can feel his heat against my back. I love it because I’m cold again. Aric’s hand tightens on mine.
“Want us to do what?” Manny asks. His breath shivers along the back of my neck, and my whole body trembles in response.
“Seduce me,” I say. I think I’m teasing, but my voice comes out huskier than normal and I have to swallow hard after I say it. Just thinking about it is making me horny, more than I was already.
Apollo curses and turns away from me. At first, I think he’s mad, but he’s subtly trying to adjust his pants. Power roars through me.
“You can’t say things like that,” Manny whispers. “Look what you just did to Apollo with only your words.” His voice is low and dark, and I wonder what kind of lover Manny would be. I’ve never thought about it before. My imagination was always hindered by my anger towards him. Aric and the brothers? I’ve definitely thought about it.
Aric tugs me closer to his side, wrapping his arm around my waist instead of holding my hand. “Yeah, that’s not really fair if you don’t mean it, Sen. Not when we’ve all wanted you for years.”
“You have?” I’m shocked. Aric’s pale eyes are honest, and Apollo has turned back around. His gaze is dark and heavy. I can’t see Manny’s face, but he admitted to feeling similarly last night.
Apollo nods, but we’re distracted from our conversation by the bell ringing. I hadn’t even noticed the parking lot was clearing out because I’d been lost in my own little world. It’s probably a good thing the bell rings, or I might have attempted to see just how serious they are. It seems soon, having just reunited with them, but I’ve never stopped loving them. The love of a friend changed to something else as we got older. Discovering that none of them had abandoned or forgotten me broke down that last barrier. I’m sure none of the guys are virgins, regardless of whether they’d been interested in me or not. It didn’t stop me from experimenting.
“Let’s go to class before you make this day much harder for all of us.” Manny smirks at me and grabs my other hand. Between him and Aric, they tug me towards the school.
I laugh at his ridiculous joke. In the last two days, his anger has faded, at least when he’s around me. The sweet, fun-loving friend has reemerged.
When they leave me for class, I feel alone – like I’ve forgotten something. There’s a spotlight on me as I walk through the halls and enter my first class. The guys stare and the girls talk about me too loudly. I don’t care what they say, but I hate the extra attention. I try to stay off everyone’s radar for a reason.
Slipping into the bathroom between classes, I sigh when I spot the same girl who asked me about Manny the other day. She sneers at me like I’m dirt on her fancy, name brand shoes. “Are you sleeping with your brother?”
“What?” What the hell?
“Not only her brother, but three other guys too. What a slut.” This is from Britney, the cheerleader Apollo dated for a while. She’d crept in behind me whil
e I was trying to process the other girl’s words.
“What the fuck does it matter to either of you?”
“He’s your brother. That’s just gross,” the first girl says. I don’t even know her name, only that she looks like a smart, rich girl. Britney is just a rich girl.
“He’s not my brother anymore. Our parents are dead.” I throw the words at her, and she has the grace to flinch. I turn halfway, making sure my back isn’t to either of them. “And who cares how many fucking people I sleep with? If I sleep with four guys at once, is that worse than sleeping with four guys a month? And why?” Britney goes through guys like she goes through designer purses. When a new one comes out, she throws away the old one.
“Of course it is,” Britney says. She looks at me like I’m crazy for even asking.
“Why?” I counter.
“Because it just is!”
I laugh sourly. “That’s what I thought. Come back to me when you have a valid argument.”
“He just fucks and leaves!” the first girl calls after me as I push past them, ignoring my need to pee. Manny? I have a hard time imagining that. I’m surprised, and relieved, to see Aric in the hallway. He looks up when I come out, and his eyes flicker back to the bathroom.
“You okay?”
I shrug. “Just your typical high school accusations of incest and a little slut-shaming thrown in for good measure.”
His eyes harden. “That’s not good.”
I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips against his, fast and firm. His arms come around me, holding me tightly as I fall back to my heels. “I don’t give a shit,” I say firmly, not letting him doubt my words. “My mom sleeps with a different man every night. How is that different or better than sleeping with all four of you? At least we all know what’s going on. If I were sleeping with all of you,” I add quickly, not wanting to assume anything.
Aric moves his arm to my waist and leads us toward the cafeteria. The muscles in his side and back flex against my arm as we walk together through the crowds. “Remember what your dad used to say?”
Sadness shoots through my heart. “Small minds breed small deeds.” My dad wouldn’t care. As long as I'm safe, he’d trust me to make the right decisions - Maria too.
Manny and Apollo are already seated at my usual table. Apollo swings his arm out and pulls me down between the two of them, leaving Aric to sit across from me.
“What’s wrong?” Manny asks immediately. He can smell anger. I always wondered if it’s because he feels it so strongly himself.
I shrug it off as I pull out my food, courtesy of Apollo’s grocery shopping. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell us,” Manny demands.
“I’m changing your name to bossypants,” I retort as I munch on a chip.
“My name?”
“In my phone.”
“What is it right now?”
“Smartypants.”
“What’s mine?” Apollo presses his thigh against mine under the table. He’s so warm. I love being in between them. It makes me feel like I’ll never be cold or alone again.
“Sun God. They’re the same as when we were kids.” I point a chip at Aric. “Grease Monkey. Orion is Starboy.”
Apollo chuckles, but Manny is not so easily distracted. I jump when his hand falls onto my thigh. I’m wearing socks instead of leggings, and his hand meets bare skin between my skirt and the tops of my thigh-highs. I think it throws him for a second because his eyes darken as he tentatively strokes my skin. The heat of his fingers sends trickles of fire toward my core. He’s far away from where I want him, but it still feels decadent.
“What happened?” he repeats.
I groan. Manny never forgets anything. His hand flattens and tightens around my thigh. The firm, possessive touch causes my body to shudder. Apollo feels my shiver and raises an eyebrow at us but doesn’t say anything. Aric stares intensely, shifting on the hard cafeteria bench. Something in his gaze suggests he’d like to watch, and more fire gathers in my belly. It’s suddenly hard to breathe and it takes effort to focus on the question I’m supposed to be answering.
“Just some girls being bitches,” I say with as much nonchalance as I can muster.
Manny’s hand tightens again, but it’s with anger this time. My hand slips under the table and settles over his. I meet his eyes behind his glasses. They flicker with dark fire from the rage and desire burning under the surface. His eyes are dark and deep, a beautiful brown I could lose myself in.
“Seriously, I don’t care,” I repeat. “If the rumors affect your scholarships, then I’ll give a shit. But otherwise, I don’t care. I don’t care what anyone says about me.” His form is still tense with barely leashed violence as he scans the cafeteria, trying to find my accusers. There’s only one thing I can think of to distract him. I slide his hand up my thigh just an inch, under my skirt. His eyes fly back to me. The desire overtakes the anger, and I breathe in relief. A college recruiter might ignore rumors, but they won’t overlook him picking fights with girls so close to graduation.
“Let me handle the rumors. I’ve dealt with it before and words no longer affect me. Not from people I don’t care about.”
He searches my expression for the truth. Seeing my honesty, he nods slowly. “Fine, but tell me if it happens again.”
I nod but I don’t make any promises. I’d rather deal with it myself. “Who’s taking me to work?” I ask to change the subject, leaving Manny’s hand right where it is. His fingers clench against my flesh as if he’s having trouble staying still.
“I will.” Apollo’s low voice growls next to me. His hand lands on my other thigh, half on my skirt and half off. I jump so high my knees almost bang against the bottom of the table. I’m grateful the guys are large enough that no one can see what we’re doing. I don’t mind the rumors, but I don’t need to make new ones. I shudder again. His hand is so large, it nearly covers my thigh. He squeezes lightly, and warmth floods my core. My nipples tingle and harden in response to the images cascading through my mind.
Aric’s gaze drops to my chest. His eyes dance with amusement.
“You guys are going to kill me,” I mutter.
Apollo smiles.
“The threat is mutual,” Manny murmurs close to my ear, making gooseflesh rise on my skin.
I clear my throat so that I can actually speak and look at Apollo. “I need to stop at home before work. I didn’t bring my uniform.”
He nods in response. Somehow, I manage to make it through lunch without spontaneously combusting from their teasing touch. All through the next period, I shiver with cold because they’re not there to warm me.
We actually work on our project during our creative media class. We talk about the photos, sketches, and stories we can create to accompany Orion’s journalistic piece. We don’t touch each other, but the gazes we exchange fill me with heat and promise. I’m not looking forward to going to work, but maybe a little distance will help me separate my feelings from my lust.
Apollo has two modes of silence: a heavy, brooding one where his brain is working even if his mouth isn’t, and the quiet, relaxed one where he’s simply happy to exist. As he drives me home, the cab is tight with the former.
“You’re thinking hard,” I point out.
His hand slides across the bench seat and clutches mine. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, Sen. We’re just happy you’re back in our life. Don’t feel like you have to do anything.” He stops with a shrug and a quick glance at me.
I squeeze his hand. “Apollo, you forget who I am. When have I ever done anything just because someone asked me or expected me to?”
His shoulders shake with mostly silent laughter. “Good point, Pixie.”
I scrunch my nose. “Why do y’all still call me that? I’m not as tiny as I used to be.”
“I don’t know about the others, but you’re magic to me.”
Heat fills my body. Who knew the quiet giant could be such a romantic? He parks next to
my broken bike. I frown at it. I need to get it fixed so I can stop relying on the guys for rides. I make a note to talk to Aric later.
“I’ll be right back.” I slip out of the truck and run up the rickety stairs. I stand in the threshold, frozen in shock.
“Mom? What the fuck?”
The apartment is clean, or in the process of it anyway. The living room is already done. It’s vacuumed and dusted; I didn’t realize we owned a vacuum cleaner. Mom stands at the kitchen sink, scrubbing dishes like her life depends on it.
“What the hell is going on? Are you on coke? Meth maybe?” I walk carefully toward my bedroom. Her head picks up. Besides the usual glaze of pot, I don’t think she’s on anything else. A spark of anxiety lights her eyes, but her face is makeup free and she’s actually dressed. Did aliens abduct and replace my mom? The sheer weirdness of the situation makes me want to run back out.
“Just cleaning. It was time,” she mutters.
Still eyeing her like she might grow tentacles, I slip into my room and dump my school books on the bed. I fill my backpack with my work uniform, extra clothes for overnight, and the small bag of toiletries I keep in my room so Mom doesn't steal my makeup. I don’t want to stay in the apartment longer than necessary. Before I leave, though, I turn toward the milk crate that takes the place of honor next to my mattress on the floor. Thinking only a second, I add my small keepsake box on top of all the notebooks and folders filled with everything I’ve ever written. I don’t know why I do it, but it just feels right.
Mom shoots me a look but doesn’t seem concerned that I’m carrying more than just my backpack when I exit my room. “Um…” I stutter. “I’m not coming home tonight.”
She doesn’t look at me as she furiously scrubs a dish that has probably been dirty for months. It would probably be more efficient to just throw it away. “Good,” she mutters under her breath. Ooookay. Maybe she’s preparing for an orgy? Thinking of the guys, I stifle my own laughter. Oh, wait – that’s me, not Mom. Fuck. I’m going crazy.
Lost & Found: Contemporary Reverse Harem Page 15
