“I know that, but I’m scared and lost.”
“Don’t be. You’re Maxine, the toughest and most unbreakable woman that I ever knew. You will be fine,” Ricky said, pumping me with positivity. I smiled to the phone, thinking that this was what I needed. I hung up several minutes later, realising that he was right. I could do this. I could be a mother despite the odds.
***
Several weeks had passed since my conversation with Ricky, and I stayed hidden, not doing much at all. After some time I told myself that I had to show Ronan a bit more gratitude. He took me into his home while he tried carrying on with his own life, at the same time looking after all my needs. It was a big ask especially for someone who didn’t like people very much.
It was odd being pregnant. I was sick all the time until the first trimester had finally passed. Every day I kept staring at my stomach, wondering what I would do when my due day arrived. My demonic energy shifted, and I had been lighting stuff up randomly pretty much all the time.
Being a half demon I couldn’t go with the standard adoption, and on top of that I was stuck in this small village with no way of getting out. I was afraid of being recognised, even being as far away from London as possible.
Ronan kept shaking his head every time he looked at me. I was getting heavier and the months began disappearing, but my pain remained.
I still remembered when I felt the baby’s movement for the first time. I was overjoyed with the fact that I didn’t drink that potion.
My days were filled mostly with reading and staring out the window. Ronan asked me not to hang around in the village any longer, especially when I started showing. Everyone knew Ronan, he had a quite a reputation in the village, and he just didn’t want people to talk.
It was two weeks later when I woke up late at night with the awareness that Watchers were close by. This never happened to me before, and I never thought that they could find me in a place like this, but five seconds later I was standing on my feet ready to run.
The baby was kicking continuously and the fear scorched through me instantly. It was clear that they had tracked me down and it was time for me to disappear.
Suddenly images of a man from my past assaulted my mind. In that moment I finally suspected the true identity of the baby’s father.
Chapter Four
I shot out of the bed and ran downstairs, knowing that my time was limited. The Watchers couldn’t have known that I was hiding here. They must have been patrolling this area off chance, hoping to find a demon that wasn’t supposed to be living amongst humans.
I paced around the kitchen for a moment, thinking about what to do. I didn’t have the time or strength to use any charms, so I had to disappear. Panic pulsed through my legs. Baby was very active, moving swiftly inside my stomach.
Ronan was out; his bed was empty. There must have been a reason that Watchers showed up here in the middle of the night. Maybe I had made a mistake trusting him, but at the same time I didn’t want to believe that he could sell me out like that.
No one apart from Ricky and Ronan knew that I was here.
I shivered with cold when I opened the front door and stepped on the grass barefoot, glancing around. In the past few months I tried to stay on form, and running was the only exercise that allowed me to feel free. Now I could rely only on my legs. I started moving through the forest, thinking about Ricky and the agency.
The Watchers’ intense energy collided with mine. They were aware that I was close, and they were summoning me over to them. There was a possibility that they were working for someone that wanted to find me. No one apart from Berith himself had any power over them, but these days everything was possible.
They were aggravated that I wasn’t responding, most likely already aware that I was trying to get away. My heart was jackhammering in my chest. I was slow and vulnerable.
My feet were moving and that tiny voice in my head kept telling me to stop running and try to reason with them. Maybe in any other circumstance I would have tried that, but right then I didn’t want to take any chances. The Watchers would have sensed that I was carrying a mongrel baby inside my womb. Then the uncomfortable questions would follow, and I wasn’t ready to reveal anything about my past.
I was moving fast through the bushes, circulating between the trees, my breath laboured. The energy surfaced all over, making me slightly dizzy.
Where was Ronan when I needed him the most?
After so many years he was still the only person apart from Ricky that I trusted with all my heart. I didn’t believe that he had anything to do with them. There had to be a traitor, someone that wanted to see me in hell.
Sweat dripped down my face. I stopped for a second and listened in. I heard voices behind me. My lungs were burning and the forest seemed to be getting darker and wilder.
A year ago I probably would have escaped easily, but right then I was eight months pregnant and already exhausted. My demonic energy boosted my strength a little, but my body indicated that I had to stop and rest.
The Watchers wanted to use their energy against my will. I was most likely the only other mongrel in the area, and by running I had given them a reason to chase after me.
Moments later I stumbled, missing a protruding rock, and falling facedown on the ground. Burning pain shot over my leg, but I ignored it. I instantly touched my stomach, making sure the baby was all right. I thought that the chase was over, the Watchers were too close, when something else, or rather someone else caught my attention.
There was a woman standing by the tree, staring back at me. She had a basket in her right hand. I pushed myself back on my knees, breathing hard. Her dark eyes moved over my silhouette, stopping on my stomach. The Watchers were closing in on me.
She must have sensed them too because suddenly I felt her energy circulating around me. Hell, I had no idea what she was, but for sure she wasn’t a demon. Even in the darkness her features were extraordinary, her magic reviving.
“We need to get close to each other. They won’t be able to sense you this way,” she told me. I hesitated for a second, wondering if I could trust her. In the end of the day I had no other option, so I obeyed her. I couldn’t carry on running.
I dragged myself off the ground, and then she came closer. I didn’t know what happened after that, but she covered us both with her dark cloak, whispered some words and leaned down to me.
“Don’t move; they won’t be able to notice us. My magic will protect us.”
I wanted to argue, but the Watchers’ energy surrounded the place all of a sudden. Paralysing fear spread through me quickly, tightening my throat. A moment later two Watchers emerged from the trees in their true forms. Their snow-white wings were impressive, shining in the darkness.
One of them was tall and slender, and his blue eyes moved over the space, stopping right on me.
That was it. I was going down. There was no way that this woman could make me suddenly invisible, but I forced myself to stop breathing for a few long moments.
“I lost her demonic soul,” he stated. I nearly screamed holding my stomach when the baby kicked hard. It obviously didn’t like me in any distress.
The other Watcher looked around; he was disorientated.
“She must be close. She’s just a mongrel,” he said, dragging his hand through his hair. “Let’s move. We can’t lose her.”
The taller one shook his head, and a moment later they carried on walking through the forest.
I couldn’t believe it. Somehow they weren’t able to see me. This was impossible. The woman’s arm was on my back and her magic felt unbelievable. The Watchers had disappeared, but we stayed under her cloak for few more minutes until I could breathe normally again.
“Thank you … I can’t understand—”
“I’m a warlock. My magic is different than the magic of any ordinary demon,” she said, smiling. Only then I realised that she must have been right. I had heard about warlocks, but I never believed that th
ey still lived on earth. It was dark, but I could still see that she had long red hair and wide green eyes.
“Thank you, if they had found me, I was as good as dead,” I explained, wondering what she wanted in exchange. There weren’t many warlocks left on an earth populated by demons. Ricky once told me that Lucifer began hunting them down years ago when they were powerful.
“I sensed your fear miles away and your child’s fear too,” she said. “I was picking up some herbs, hoping to keep away from any demons and humans.”
I stood up and felt like my legs were going to give out at any second. She caught my arms, sending me a sharp wave of energy. It was a spike that I needed, but at the same time I hated being so weak and exposed.
“I will walk you back to the safe place,” she informed me.
“They weren’t supposed to know that I was here, and my friend wouldn’t betray me like this,” I explained, feeling confused. I had no idea if it was safe for me to go back to Ronan. What if there were more Watchers waiting for me there?
“You’re trying to protect your baby, that’s understandable,” she said, and her eyes gleamed with joy.
“It’s complicated. I’ve left behind my whole life and in the end I’m still a coward,” I said, thinking about the cave and Sonia. I had wanted to kill it, just because I was willing to protect someone that wasn’t in my life anymore.
“I’ll walk with you. The Watchers are trying their chances. Sometimes they patrol these remote areas. I messed around with their sense of direction, so they won’t be able to track us down.”
I called out my demonic power, and her words instantly calmed the baby down. Every part of me indicated that I should start running, but on the other hand, this creature had just saved my life. Maybe I was simply paranoid. The Watchers weren’t here for me; they were passing this area, and then they must have sensed me. Everything was suddenly very clear.
“All right, you’re right. I should go back to the cottage. My name is Maxine, by the way,” I said. She gave me a warm smile and took my arm.
“Matilda. I was married to a demon once, and when I’m around others I tend to conceal my true nature,” she explained. “I live in this area, alone.”
“So you’re truly a warlock?” I asked, just to be sure that my own senses weren’t misleading me.
“A widowed warlock, yes,” she admitted with another smile. “Your baby is going to be due soon and you’re scared, confused about its future,” she pointed out like she was reading my mind.
We started walking thought the woodlands. It was probably very late, and Ronan was most likely looking for me.
“Isn’t that obvious? This pregnancy wasn’t planned, for sure,” I said, thinking about Arthur again. God, I really needed to get a grip and stop believing that we ever had a real shot.
“I always wanted to be a mother, but sadly warlocks aren’t able to reproduce,” she said unexpectedly. “I don’t want to be insensitive, but what’s your story? Why are you hiding here?”
I wiped the sweat off my forehead. We were alone, and I wasn’t sure if it was safe for me to talk about my past, but she seemed genuinely interested. After all, Matilda helped me get rid of the Watchers, so there was no point being secretive. Eventually they would have figured out who I was and then I would’ve had no other choice but to leave with them.
I started talking then. I didn’t know why, but I started telling her about my stupid decisions, about what happened when I got the job in the palace. The past nine months were tough. I was isolated and lonely. Maybe from Ronan’s perspective I was putting myself in danger, trusting a stranger, a warlock, but this felt natural.
Then I told her about Doomed Cases, about Ricky and Arthur. The baby was moving, but in a calm manner while I was telling her about getting dumped by the royals.
“Well, that’s a hell of a story, Maxine,” she concluded as we reached Ronan’s cottage. She was right: there was no sign of Watchers anywhere near, but Ronan himself was waiting outside.
“Where the hell have you been? I came back an hour ago and your bed was empty,” Ronan shouted when he saw me. A moment later he saw Matilda and he released some of his energy.
“Calm down, this is Matilda, she’s hidden me from two Watchers that were snooping in the area. I woke up sensing them, and panicked,” I explained.
“A warlock, well, that’s unexpected. Please come in before Maxine goes into labour at my front door,” Ronan muttered, shaking his head. It was dawn when the three of us sat down at the table with a warm cup of tea.
“I work for myself these days, run a pottery business in the middle of the forest,” Matilda explained after Ronan warmed up to her a bit more and explained that he was out hunting earlier on. “Maxine is lucky that you’re helping her. Her situation sounds complicated.”
“She should have gotten rid of that child when she had a chance. It’s a grave risk. If the child has royal blood, then her time on earth is going to be truly over.”
Ronan didn’t have to repeat that. I already knew the consequences, but in the end I couldn’t kill this little human inside me. Soon I needed to make a decision.
“This child grows inside her womb for a reason. Maxine made the right choice. You can’t condemn it. Mongrel or a human, it doesn’t matter. It’s a blessing,” Matilda stated quite fiercely.
“You’re a warlock and you have no idea what will happen to her or this child if it turns out that the royal is the father.”
“Ronan, please, this is not the time. Matilda saved me and that’s the bottom line. Let’s talk about something else,” I warned him, getting tired of his arguments. I made a commitment to myself and now he needed to accept it.
“We both know that you won’t be able to keep it, Max. Adoption is the only way forward and you haven’t found anyone suitable. This child will bring you down to hell!”
Suddenly my hormones were raging and I wanted to cry, but Ronan was right. I had been isolating myself in the past few months. Soon I was going to be holding this child in my hands knowing that I wouldn’t be able to look after it.
An awkward silence stretched for a moment. Matilda was staring back at me. It was strange that I couldn’t sense her emotions. I had never met a warlock, but it was clear that they weren’t at all like humans. I was suddenly curious about her powers.
“I will take care of it,” I mumbled, feeling less and less like myself, the tough and strong mongrel.
“Maxine, we just met, but I believe in destiny. I would be willing to look after your child. Once you give it away for adoption you will never see it again. Deep down we both know that you are not ready to give it away to strangers.”
Ronan and I looked at Matilda with sudden disbelief. A bunch of ice cubes cascaded down to my stomach, because in that moment I realised that she was right. I wasn’t willing to give my child away, despite everything that happened in the past.
Chapter Five
This whole thing seemed completely surreal. She wanted to take care of my child. I was sitting at the table staring at the woman I had just met, thinking that she couldn’t have been serious. From the very beginning I knew that arranging a legal adoption was going to be tough. Giving away my child to complete strangers was something that I never thought I’d actually go through.
“Don’t be absurd, woman. Maxine will know who fathered her child at birth, possibly later. She needs to get ready to forget about the infant as soon as possible,” Ronan said, shaking his head.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then changed my mind. Matilda kept staring at me intensely, and even though I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, I knew that she wanted to help me.
“Maxine doesn’t want to give her child away, Ronan. She’s tormented. My own life is empty and I would be honoured to look after it until Maxine figures out what to do. I don’t expect you to make a rush decision.”
Ronan pursed his lips and one of the flasks on the window exploded. Okay, so he was determined to put his
point across, being the stubborn old man. Seconds later his thoughts came through. He was telling me that I was risking too much. I needed to remind myself that he was only trying to look after me.
This woman was a warlock and trusting her like that was a mistake. Most demons didn’t even realise that warlocks existed. Ricky had told me that a few of them lived in London, but I never had a chance to face any of them. Their past was filled with mystery, but I wanted to trust Matilda.
I had thought about adoption long and hard, but deep down I still wasn’t sure. Humans wouldn’t know that the baby was special, but later the magic would interrupt their lives.
“Matilda is right, Ronan. I don’t know what to do and this new option sounds reasonable,” I finally said, playing with the ring on my finger, the ring that was supposed to symbolise my love for Arthur.
Matilda tossed her red hair behind her and touched my hand. I wanted to pull it away, but that didn’t happen. Somehow the warmth that spread through me suddenly eased the tension inside my body.
Ronan and I felt the Warlock’s magic circulating around and maybe I was crazy to even consider this, but after all, I didn’t know what else to do.
“Adoption is the way forward, Maxine, and no offence, but we don’t know anything about this woman,” Ronan pointed out, making a face.
“None taken. I understand that you’re both reluctant, but I’m happy to spend some time with Maxine until the baby is born. This way maybe you can get to trust me.”
“Do what you want, Maxine, but don’t run to me crying after this doesn’t work out. I’m washing my hands,” Ronan stated, finally getting up from the table. The sun was rising on the horizon and I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to pull my thoughts together.
This child was a blessing, but it was also a curse if it turned out that Arthur was the father.
Hush-Hush Page 3
