“I…no. I shouted at Jasper when he put me in it. I was livid that his father was able to yank everyone's strings to his tune. It was so unfair that he had that power over people. I guess he still does,” she muttered with a sneer. “We've been trying to track Dominic and his wife down, but the closest we've got so far is ruling out one of the decoy couples he hired. Atticus has the most amazing team; I love working with them. It's not the same as graphic design, but that's good, right?”
An excellent attempt at diverting the conversation away from the point, Connie noted. Very smooth indeed, but not as effective as Anarchy hoped. They'd reached this point in previous sessions, so a lot of the details were known to her already, but Connie had no intention of letting Archie steer this session. “Loving your job is always a good thing. So, you weren't fighting with Jasper while he drove?”
“No, we were quiet. I was sulking, I guess. Sitting there seething. Jasper picked up on the fact something was wrong. He grabbed his phone and gave it to me, told me to press speed dial three. Speed dial three, and put it on speakerphone.” She lifted her hand to her mouth, chewing her index finger. “Three was Michael's number. The man who worked for Atticus, the man who was supposed to follow us home.”
“I know, sweetheart. What happened then?”
She shrank into herself, biting harder on her finger. Her mouth was forming weird shapes, trying to control her anxiety. “The call was answered. The truck filled with gurgling sounds. I didn't know what it was, but Jasper did. He gestured for me to be quiet, and took the phone. There were bad noises. More gurgling. Then someone spoke. Jasper's half-brother.”
What came next was difficult, Connie knew. While she hadn't heard it from Anarchy's side, she'd listened to Jasper's account. His attention to detail was phenomenal, which made hearing it all the more gruesome. From what Connie understood, Michael had been captured while waiting to pick up the tail on Jasper's truck, by Erik and Gerald—Jasper's half-brothers. The brothers had driven him down the road, and he'd been left with Gerald.
When Jasper called, Gerald had killed Michael. Erik had gone back and picked up the tail on Jasper and Anarchy, posing as Michael. Michael's body had been thrown in front of Jasper's truck as a diversion, a means to get Jasper to stop. And that was how the ambush had been executed.
“Gerald, the big one, killed Michael. The bastard threw Michael's body right in front of us. We were trying to call Atticus, but he wasn't answering, and then…” Anarchy fisted her hands. “Jasper slammed the brakes on. Hit them straight away, but the truck…we were going too fast. The tires went over the body. We ran him over. Everything happened at once. Gerald walked out in front of the truck, Erik had pulled up behind us. Atticus's line was busy, busy, busy. And Jasper got out of the truck, dragged me into the driver's seat, and told me to leave. To drive away and just leave him there.”
“But you didn't,” Connie coaxed gently. She needed to tread gently here. “You stayed.”
“I-I was in shock. I just sat there while Jasper was pinned between two men who wanted to take him back to their father. They wanted me too. Jasper says I'm not allowed to think about what might have happened, that it doesn't matter now, but sometimes at night…”
Now this was a direction Connie was curious to follow. Archie had mentioned some of what Dominic's intentions had been for her once he got his dirty hands on her, and there'd been talk between Atticus and Jasper about it as well. “It's okay, Archie. You can't control what you think about, sweetheart, and if it's something that's bugging you, get it off your chest. I won't say anything to Jasper.”
“He said I shouldn't think about it—”
Connie lifted a finger in the air, wagged it. “I love Jasper, he's one of my best friends. Unfortunately, he has two strikes against him—one, he's a man. Two, he's a Dom. He wants to protect you, Archie, and telling you not to think about it is his way of shielding you from being afraid. A woman's greatest fear is being raped, and we need to be blunt here, don't we, about Dominic's plans for you.”
Anarchy sucked her lower lip into her mouth. Chewing restlessly on it, her eyes dropped to the bottle in her hands. “He wanted me as bait to lure Jasper back to Virginia. That's how it started.”
“Yes.”
“Then it wasn't just about getting Jasper back into that hell. That wasn't enough for him. I was the prize in his cereal box. The perfect means to keeping Jasper under his control. Dominic would've used me to make Jasper behave, to perform. If they threatened to hurt me, Jasper would do anything to stop it from happening. If he disobeyed or showed any signs of rebelling, Dominic would have raped me as punishment. Probably for fun, too.”
Leaning forward, Connie took Archie's cold hand in hers. “Does understanding that it wouldn't have been your fault or Jasper's make it easier to cope with?”
“It didn't happen, so there's nothing to cope with. But I lie awake at night and all I can think of is what it would have done to Jasper if it had. And then when I sleep, everything slams together into one big, horrible mess, and I'm lying in the road beside the body of two dead men, being raped by a man with no face, while Jasper's paralyzed and helpless.” Tears sprang as her chin quivered. “I'm screaming Jasper's name and looking in his eyes, and I can't do anything but watch him break into pieces.”
We're finally getting somewhere. “What about you, Archie?”
“It's not about me!” In a sudden fit of rage, she hurled the bottle across the room with the speed and aim of a pitcher trying out for a pro team. “I could survive it. I could survive being raped, I could live with the scars and the pain, but he can't. He's been through so much already, so fucking much we can't understand, but I'm the one who can break him.”
“Sweetie, look at me. Look at me,” Connie said darkly as Archie's temper threatened to blast through the session like a tornado. “It's a nightmare. It's not reality. Neither of you are broken—the pair of you are a little banged up, but you're strong. Together, you're healing. Slowly, but slow is good. Slow is thorough.”
“I'm hurting him.”
“What makes you think that? I've never seen him happier.”
Anarchy rubbed her hands over her face. “He thinks it's his fault, everything that happened that night. It was his father who started the ball rolling, his brothers who were sent to do the job. His past that intruded into our future. He doesn't say anything, but I can see him shouldering the blame for what I did to Gerald, and it's wrong. I made the choice to run a man down with a truck. I committed vehicular homicide to save the man I love, yet he's the one carrying it.”
“Would you rather he didn't?”
“My decision. My choice. I've owned up to that, and I'm…I can make peace with it. Every time those few minutes loop through my head on repeat, I look at all the angles, and I stand by my decision. Jasper taking responsibility for my actions doesn't help me, and it sure as fuck isn't doing good things for him.”
Connie nodded. “This is progress, Archie. Would you like me to suggest to Jasper that he and I have a session together? Or perhaps we can all sit down next time, so you can relay these feelings to him. He'll come if he knows how important it is to you.”
Expecting a firm refusal, Connie was pleasantly surprised by Anarchy's assertive nod. It must really be digging deep into her thoughts if she was prepared to bring her Dom into a session, but again, it spoke of impressive progress.
“Okay, I'll arrange that. Are the nightmares the same every time?”
“The plotline seems to be etched in the same vein, with a few new variants,” Anarchy muttered. Her shoulders sagged, and she deflated back against the couch with a tired sigh.
“How many have you had since our last session?”
“At least once a night. Sometimes Jasper wakes me up, settles me down, and when I fall asleep again, it comes back faster and harder, like the interlude hasn't even happened. I fall straight back into it where I left off.” Suddenly motivated, she shoved off the couch and went to retrieve her juice
bottle. “Jasper's sleeping with one eye open, which isn't good for him. I know he can function on like three hours' sleep, but that's not the point.”
Connie's thoughts immediately leaped to Caera, and the predicament she was in. No way was Connie going to let that become Archie's fate. “Are the nightmares more active after sex, or if you don't have sex at all?”
Anarchy laughed and removed the bottle cap slowly, drinking before replying. “I don't think we can factor that into the equation, Con. It's rare, really fucking rare, if Jasper doesn't pound me into the mattress or a hard surface before bed.”
Tapping a finger on her lip, Connie closed her eyes and tried to think of any research she'd come across that could back up her theory. Nope, not a single shred of evidence, which sucked. It would have to be a process of elimination, and she had a feeling Jasper would not be pleased with her for suggesting it. “All right, I think we should try something. It's going to piss your Dom off, and you might not be thrilled about it, but starting tonight, I want you to abstain from any sexual interaction after six p.m.”
Apple juice spewed from Archie's mouth. “What the fuck?”
“You heard me. Nothing after six p.m. for the next few days. If you do the demonstration on Friday, Jasper will have to keep his dick in his pants Saturday and Sunday night. I want you to keep a record of how many nightmares you have per night, and the details if you can remember them.”
Stunned, Anarchy simply stood and gaped at her. For a moment, Connie thought her friend might break down and cry…until the laughter bubbled up. “Oh, my God. Jasper is literally going to spontaneously combust. We both enjoy sex before sleep, and it's become a favorite part of our routine now that we're living together.” Laughter died into giggles. “He's going to lose his shit.”
“The sadist will have to get over it,” Connie said flatly. “If he can't control his urges for a few extra hours a night for the next week, I have several toys in my bag that should help dampen them. You two can fornicate like bunnies on Viagra every other hour in the day, from dawn until six p.m.”
With a shake of her head, Archie walked back to the couch and dropped down. “I shouldn't laugh. He'll do it because he loves me, and he'll do anything to make the nightmares stop. But what happens if sex is triggering them? Then what the hell are we supposed to do?”
“What I'm good at, sweetheart. Finding a solution to the problem. This is just a theory, Archie, but something I'd like to remove from the realm of possibility. If you don't want to try, that's fine. We can re-evaluate and head in a different direction.”
“But you think it's worth trying?”
Nodding, Connie didn't hesitate to say, “I do.”
“All right, I'll explain it all to Jasper.” Archie drank again, then grimaced. “Shit, I sprayed juice all over your floor. Sorry, Connie.”
“It's fine, I'll leave a note for the cleaners to use one of their magic machines tonight. You know, if Jasper needs to speak to me about this, he can—with your permission. Don't feel you have to struggle on your own.”
“No, I can handle the big grumpy bear. God, I'm tired. Why did no one tell me therapy would be so exhausting before I started coming here? Not that I don't enjoy the time with you, Connie, but jeez, you know how to put a girl through the damn wringer.”
Oh yeah, Connie sympathized with her. No one knew better how tiring sifting through memories for the details, reliving pain and fear, could be for the brain. Thane was giving her refresher courses on just how debilitating dredging up the past was, and she knew firsthand that it got worse the longer the secrets were buried. “We'll hit a point where everything gets easier, Archie. Instead of fighting uphill all the time, you'll find yourself strolling down the other side of the peak.”
Archie grinned and finished her juice, then set the empty bottle on the table. “I'm looking forward to that day. Are we done for the afternoon?” When Connie chuckled and inclined her head in an affirmative, those dark eyes became mischievous. “Good. Now I can ask what's in the box that made your eyes bug out of your head. Don't deny it,” she warned with a playful wag of her finger, obviously shedding the gloom of her session with admirable ease. “You took a peek in the box, and your eyes did this…” She used her own pretty features to emulate whatever expression she thought Connie had worn.
“I looked as though someone stepped on a frog?”
“Um, well, yeah. It wasn't a happy face, so it wasn't jewelry. Jasper gave it to me to give to you, but I'm betting the yummy Thane is the one behind it. So…what did he get you?”
God, this was such a touchy area to press on. If Connie was honest, it would certainly raise Archie's eyebrows that a sub would gift his Mistress a butt plug and lube. There would be a whole slew of questions which would inevitably lead to Connie spilling her guts out to her friend. That might not be so bad—Bodie knew the truth, after all. But it just seemed like the inner circle of knowledge was quickly expanding, and once it hit a certain radius, everyone would be in the loop.
Was she ready for that?
No, but neither could she lie outright to someone she loved like a sister. If she lied, the trust between them would shatter, and not just in the friendship. Their relationship as doctor and patient would suffer, and with it, so would Archie. Jasper's kitten might seem perky and content, but Connie couldn't risk deepening the already dark chasms running under Archie's skin.
Closing her eyes, she made a choice. “What I tell you in here, stays in here, Anarchy. Understand?”
“I…shit, that sounds really serious. Is everything okay with you and Thane? I know the Masters think the sun shines out of his taut ass, but if he's hurt you, Jasper won't hesitate to smear him over the sidewalk.” The vehemence in Archie's voice was absolute. Hell, if Thane lifted his hand wrong, Connie fully believed her friend would be the one to mess him up, probably shoving Jasper out of the way in her haste. “Last night, you seemed good. You make a striking couple.”
“Thanks, sweetie. There will be no smearing necessary.” Deciding it would be easier to just show her, Connie rose and walked over to her desk, retrieving the pesky box. She half-feared it might be Pandora's box in disguise. Steeling herself for Archie's reaction, Connie made her way back to the couch, dropping the dangerous object into her friend's hands before she sat down again.
“I can open it?” Anticipation lit her eyes.
“Go ahead.”
Carefully, Archie's clever fingers removed the lid, and she cocked her head as she stared at the contents. Her lips pressed together into a straight white line, then curved as she glanced up at Connie. “This is what he got you? Is it for you, or is it a hint that he wants you to use it on him?”
Just breathe, her inner voice said soothingly as a fist of anxiety rammed into her sternum. “Thane bought it for me. He expects me to be wearing it when he picks me up later, but I will not be here, and that thing will not be put to use.” Voice tight, she wanted to smack the asshole for making her feel this way.
“Hmm. I'm confused. So, your new club submissive buys you a butt plug and orders you to wear it for him, outside of Avalon. That sounds more like he's dominant than submissive, Con. Although, after watching you two in the pit last night, it makes a lot of sense. Can a Dominant top a Dominant? That would be some serious Alpha power being passed back and forth.”
“You have no idea,” Connie muttered, then averted her gaze as Archie lifted the plug from the box and held it up to the light. She didn't want to see the damn thing again. “Thane is a Switch, Archie. He gains pleasure from being the one in control, and being the one who surrenders.”
“Cool. So, he swings both ways, but with kink rather than sexuality?”
“Exactly. Thane and I have that in common.”
Brown eyes stopped admiring the butt plug and flicked over to Connie's face, narrowing slightly. “But you're a Domme. Everyone knows you're a Domme.”
“I'm a Switch, Archie. For the past ten years, I've been less than true to myself and my
needs. I've been living under the guise of a Domme because it was easier than dealing with a lot of shit in my life.” Shocked by the words, Connie pressed her fingertips to her mouth. “Thane is helping me become…more. He's restoring a balance I didn't know I needed. He's becoming something I need.”
Archie twirled the plug around as thoughts skimmed over her expressive face. “Huh. So, the pair of you fit really well together. One tops, the other submits. That's kind of perfect, and really fucking romantic. If you want my opinion, Thane really does seem like he's into you. You exude a chemistry together that could blow a hole in a wall, and he dotes on you.” She wiggled her eyebrows, wagging the goddamn plug like a steel baton. “So, how does this fit into the scenario?”
“His Highness wants me to wear it because I…” Come on, Connie, you've come this far. You're talking with a friend, you can tell her. “Anal sex scares me. It's an issue and he wants to make it so it's not.”
“I was the same way. I didn't want Jasper anywhere near that orifice, no way, no how. He kept pushing and teasing, until it wasn't quite as scary as I thought it was. By the time we got around to the main event, I was apprehensive. He made me come before he started pushing into me, and I safeworded, but when he was inside me, it was…” Her eyes glazed over. “Phenomenal.”
A little jealous, Connie squirmed in her seat. It felt weird, being the one who needed reassurance. She was used to being the one who dispensed advice, who soothed tattered nerves and quieted busy minds. “Did it hurt?”
Archie's eyes cleared, grew warm with sympathy. “Not gonna lie, I might have screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Jasper likes it when I make a lot of noise, especially if it vocalizes pain or discomfort. Typical sadist. There's a burning sensation, which can be intense. It escalates to borderline pain, but then it all just…goes higher. Becomes more than pain. It morphs into bliss.”
Connie caught the butt plug when Archie tossed it to her, almost dropping it out of reflex. It sat in her palm, cool and heavy. Seven inches of shiny stainless steel. Narrow at the tapered point, widening down the length to the neck. She guessed it wasn't quite as thick around as Thane's cock. “Put it back in the box.”
Talk For Me: Club Avalon Book 3 Page 23
