by Vivian Arend
She squeezed his fingers as Hanna walked past. Little white flowers dotted the braid on top of her head. She wore a simple white dress and an expression of utter adoration on her face as she stared at Brad.
Then Brad and Hanna were promising to love each other into the future. The vows included a whole bunch of other sweet words, but Karen was too busy trying to deal with the image of her and Finn doing the same thing to focus on the actual details.
Something inside burst like a dam that had received its final blow.
Screw it. Finn had said he wanted more. If she wanted to hunt fireflies, then she should look for the biggest, brightest, most incredible fireflies in the entire world.
Which meant telling him what she truly wanted and then making it happen.
The wedding moved from orderly to chaotic. There were more than enough people willing to direct the crowd from the ceremony to the party. Karen caught up with her friends, chatting with the girls she’d so naively cut herself off from the last time they’d gathered.
There were no hard feelings, though. It was clear that when she stepped into a conversation, she was welcome.
Once the meal was over, they all headed outside to where music had begun playing.
Rose all but bounced in place with excitement. “Excuse me. Now is when my bachelor pays his dues.”
Her sister, Tansy, rolled her eyes. Karen laughed.
“You know what she did?” Tansy asked.
Karen nodded. “Come on. I’m pretty sure there’re guys willing to dance even if you didn’t purchase them.”
The crowd gathered around the far side of the yard. Karen went to where Finn stood talking with a beaming Brad. The newlywed had his arm banded tight around Hanna as if he had no intention of letting her go any time soon.
“Brad and Hanna.” Brad’s father, Patrick, weaved across the distance where he stood next to a set of speakers. “It’s time for you to break in the new dance floor.”
The newlyweds stepped onto the low wooden platform constructed outdoors. Brad led Hanna to the middle. He caught her fingers and kissed them before pulling her into his arms as the beginning strains of music drifted over the air.
Finn tucked an arm around Karen, bringing her close as his heat slid against her.
Brad and Hanna danced slowly, eyes fixed on each other as if there weren’t another person for miles around. Sheer love in their expressions.
Little Crissy came running from the side. She threw herself at the two of them and clung on tight like a kitten.
With a huge laugh, Brad lifted the child into the air. He gave her a kiss before adjusting position to hold Crissy as well as Hanna.
The three of them danced, officially starting their life together.
The music changed, and Finn twisted Karen against him, swaying slightly while more people made their way onto the dance floor to join Brad and Hanna.
“Finn.”
“I’d love this dance.” He held her perfectly, that connection rising like always. Far from the crowd and in their own private world.
Why on earth would she complain when this was exactly what she needed? The tension in her belly wasn’t the type she got from wanting to run away. It was a knot like a person got when they wanted to say words that were big and important. Words that were true down to the core of her soul.
Like love. Like forever. She held those back, mostly.
“This dance and all the rest you want.” It wasn’t a confession of how she felt, but it was close.
His grip tightened, then his lips were on her temple, kissing her sweet and light. “I’m holding you to that.”
She was ready to let go and trust. Maybe it wouldn’t work in the end, but like he’d said, if they didn’t aim at what they wanted, they’d never find out.
18
Finn and Karen abandoned the party just after midnight.
Zach was still on the dance floor with Rose, along with a half dozen other diehards who looked ready to dance the night away.
Karen was quiet on the drive home, which in a way was good because Finn’s brain was whirling in a million different directions.
His leg had healed enough that dealing with the cast was the worst part. He was no longer popping painkillers like jellybeans, which meant what was rattling in his brain couldn’t be explained away by confusion or chemicals.
He’d started the summer with the intention of being with Karen no matter what it took, wherever the journey led. The way she’d leaned against him this evening, giving every indication she was ready to get fully on board—
He actually hadn’t expected that miracle to take place until sometime in the fall. They were both stubborn, and they had baggage. Their time years ago had been sweet, but more like a solid base than a settling of roots.
Fuck it, did he even know how to grow roots? All he knew was he wanted to be with her. It was time to tell her that again.
Karen turned off well before the road to what eventually would be Red Boot ranch. She glanced toward him. “I have something to show you. If you haven’t been there already, that is.”
He mentally calculated where they were and figured it out pretty quick. “The lookout over Heart Falls pool?”
She nodded. “This time of year, it’s pretty. It’s only a short walk to the bench.”
“Not a problem.”
They walked the well-worn trail in silence, the moonlight overhead shining a clear path. The sound of the falls grew louder, from a faint trickle to a rumbling laugh as water burst over the top of the cliff and descended to the heart-shaped pool at its base.
When they reached the bench, Finn glanced into the valley, surprised to see more than moonlight shining on the water. “Somebody put up spotlights?”
Karen sat on the bench, and he settled beside her, grabbing her fingers and holding on tight.
She leaned her head on his shoulder and laughed softly, gazing out over the glittering reflections on the water’s surface. “Tamara said her youngest brother-in-law, Dustin, was mucking around out here a while ago. He said he was doing something to enhance the natural ambience. She thinks he was setting it up for skinny dipping.”
Finn laughed. “That’s usually done in the dark, but I can see why putting a little light on the subject would be entertaining. We’ll have to come back here once I get my cast off and give it a try.”
“Two weeks left?”
He squeezed her fingers. “Counting the days.”
“Me too.” She twisted slightly, careful of his leg but adjusting to make full eye contact. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
His breath caught, but he did his best to act as nonchalant as possible. “Shoot.”
“I’ve been thinking lots about what things I want, and you were right. I set a lot of goals over the years, and I’ve been successful in getting stuff done, but many times, I don’t know that what I accomplished was the right thing. I mean, you said that as well. Work’s not always fun, but it should be valuable. Doing something because it’s another person’s priority can’t be how you run your life, can it?”
He stared into her big brown eyes. “Whose goals have you been aiming at that you think need changing?”
“Karen’s.” She snorted. “I know, that makes no sense. But it’s like there’s this part of me with a set of rules and ideas that are so built-in that they dictate everything. Every choice I make and every target I set.”
“Those aren’t the choices you want to make?”
She made a face. “That Karen wouldn’t have Dandelion in the house. New Karen thinks he’s the sweetest thing, and I’m so glad he’s around.”
The whole conversation began to make sense. It wasn’t the confession he’d hoped for, but he was still pleased. This would make a huge difference in her world.
“Good for you.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “What other changes is New Karen planning?”
“You.” Her voice was husky and low.
It seemed those
fireflies she’d mentioned before were an epidemic, because his damn belly flip-flopped as if he were full of them. “Go on.”
She took a deep breath then handed him her heart.
“I want to be with you. I want to give us a real chance and not sit here with Old Karen. She’s worried about how hard it will hurt if we have to walk away from each other again. I want to work full-out to make sure we stick.”
Hell. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I want that too. And I’m so damn sorry you were hurt when I left.”
She clung to him, but her head shook gently. “It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault. Not really. It was a matter of place and time and there was not much we could do about it.”
A deep flash of anger rose inside him because that was true, but it was also easy to point a finger at one of the reasons he hadn’t returned to get her after he’d realized walking away was wrong.
But that confession was for another time. Here and now he was hearing the words he’d hoped for since he’d made his way to Heart Falls, and damn if he wasn’t eager to accept every bit of it.
Time to flip her world upside down as well. He met her eyes before he spoke. “I’m all in. Everything you said about striving to make us work… hell yes. If you need space as you figure out what you really want, I can give you that, but I will not leave you. I swear I will not walk away again.”
Her fist bumped against his chest with about as much impact as Dandelion with his little furry paw.
“I did not want to cry tonight,” Karen complained.
He placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face. Kissed her eyelids. Tasted the salt in the tears streaking down her cheeks. “You have to cry for us both.”
She wiped her cheeks, pushing the corners of her lips into a smile.
He leaned their foreheads together. “I love you. I have for a very long time.”
Lightning danced in her eyes. She took a shaky breath. “I love you too.”
The hug was spontaneous. Karen twisted on the bench so she was once again as close as possible even with his leg sticking out awkwardly like some mannequin they’d had to haul along.
But the cast faded to nothing because what she’d just said outweighed all the frustrations and all the anger.
She loved him. He would move mountains to make sure that stayed true.
But for now, he kissed her. One hand cradled the back of her head as he took her lips. He nibbled until she gasped, then he slid his tongue deeper. Tasting her and sending his own senses reeling.
Her hands were busy at the front of his shirt, opening buttons until her palms pressed against his chest. Fingernails teased, sending his skin dancing.
He teased her earlobe into his mouth. “I want you. Right now.”
She leaned back slightly, her eyes wide. Her first glance went up the trail toward where the truck was parked, but it was brief, and the next thing he knew, she’d pulled herself to vertical. She slid her hands under the skirt of her dress and wiggled her way out of her underwear.
All of that done with a slightly shy, innocent attitude.
The effect was completely undone when she took her underwear and swung it saucily before offering them to him.
“Ma chérie, you’re killing me.” He didn’t fucking care where they were. “Come here.”
He adjusted his position and spread his legs wider. More than enough room for Karen to step between them, staring down with a definitely naughty expression.
He ran his hands up her hips, her waist, over the sweep of her breasts. “First we get you ready.”
“I’m ready,” Karen insisted.
“Prove it.” Finn undid the row of buttons down the front of her dress. He pushed aside the fabric to reveal skin and a pretty bra sheer enough that her nipples showed even in the moonlight.
He undid the front snap—best damn invention ever—and cupped her breasts. Eagerly, he leaned in, sucking and lapping and biting from one side to the other while she ran her fingers through his hair and moaned.
“I’m ready.”
He was past ready but nowhere near done. “Put your fingers in your pussy and show me how wet you are.”
A gasp escaped, but she slid a hand down her thigh, crumpling her skirt as she raised it.
“Finn.”
Her complaint came as he once again placed his mouth on her, enjoying the lush beauty of her breasts. His hum of amusement danced against her skin. “Didn’t say I was done. You touching yourself yet?”
That got him something between a growl and a groan. Finn slid a hand down her hip and hit bare skin.
It was nearly his undoing, because a bare hip meant a bare ass and a bare sex, and he was inches away from being able to pull her forward and sink into her wet heat.
Karen straightened, a vision of sensual debauchery. Her hair lay tousled around her shoulders, naked breasts framed by her open dress. Her bare thighs were pale as she clutched one side of her skirt. The other hand she held out, fingers glistening in the moonlight.
He couldn’t get any harder. “Good girl. Let me double-check.”
Her head fell back as he pulled her fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. Then he moved them down again, pressing against her sex. Rubbing firmly over her sensitive clit.
His fingers were wet now as well, and together they built her pleasure. Just a little more was needed.
“You keep doing that,” he ordered. “Rub your clit. I’m going to fuck you with my fingers. And once you come, hard, you climb on board and I’ll sink into you so deep there’ll be no you or me, just us.”
Her eyes went huge. Her fingers faltered for a moment then picked up speed. He slid a hand lower, careful not to interfere with her motion as he teased her entrance. Small circles until she squirmed on the spot, and only then did he slide his fingers deep.
Moonlight magic was the only thing keeping her vertical. No way was she still standing under her own strength, not with Finn staring at her with that look in his eyes.
They’d moved beyond smolder. It was pure sex.
His hands drove her to the pinnacle so quickly. Should she complain that it would be over too soon or be excited because the next thing was sure to be just as wonderful?
Even more intimate. Although, having his hand on her—and his fingers in her, and his gaze burning through her—was as intimate as they could get.
His voice thrummed in her ears. “That’s it, ma chérie. Squeeze me. So fucking good, but it’ll be even better when it’s my cock inside you. I’ll make you see stars.”
She tilted her head to the clear night sky, grinning as galaxies twinkled down on them. “So good.”
It was right to be there. To finally have admitted part of what she needed to tell him. The most important part. The rest were minor details, and they’d figure it out as they went along, but now with his hands driving her onward, Karen dug a little deeper, increasing the speed of her fingers over her clit as sparks flew.
“Finn.”
The hand on her hip tightened, and the fingers inside her slowed. Which was good, because her body attempted to trap him in place, and the slight motion was just enough to drive her orgasm even higher.
His fingers slid out. The next bit got a little messy between dragging a condom out of his pocket and opening his jeans enough to free his cock and get it covered.
Then she was up on the bench, straddling him, gazing into his passion-filled eyes.
He pressed a kiss between her breasts.
Her skirt hung over his thighs, and if it weren’t for the pornographic view of the open bodice of her dress, no one would’ve known what they were doing. Maybe they could guess as she rose and fell over his thick length, rubbing the wetness of her sex over the rock-solid temptation rising skyward.
Finn caught her hips and stilled her, adjusting until his tip pressed between her folds.
Then he kissed her, wild and hungry, fire flaring. She was sure he would drive himself d
eep, but he waited, teasing with just enough pressure that she knew he was there. Impossible to ignore, perfect anticipation rising.
She was breathless when he finally let her pull her lips away, panting as she met his gaze, and it was then that he pressed her down. A slow, inevitable joining that finished with her soft sigh of satisfaction.
The last bit of Old Karen vanished in a baptism of new hope.
Finn brushed a hand over her cheek, wiping away a lingering tear. “I love you,” he said again. “I know I’m broken still, but I plan to do everything I have to so you’ll know it’s true. Inside and out.”
Her heart sparkled. “You’re doing pretty good for a broken guy. Just saying.”
That rare grin of his appeared. “I’d better live up to your expectations.”
She didn’t know how he did it, considering he wasn’t the most mobile at that moment, but it only took a few minutes for him to begin to blow her mind.
His grip on her hips provided the pulse of motion that set her strumming again.
“Put your fingers back on your pussy, ma chérie. I want to feel you with me again.”
She didn’t care if she came again or not, but with him looking at her as if she’d actually hung the stars, the whirl of sensation inside was inevitable.
She’d talked about fireflies, but this was sensual pleasure mixed with the light in her heart, and all of it together meant, as she teetered toward the edge, the physical and the emotional mixed solidly.
As her body gave in, it was only an echo of what was in her heart. Pleasure—connection. To this man.
Finn made a noise as she clamped down on his cock. A happy, grunting, laughing sound.
Amusement rushed in. She snickered in response, and suddenly there they were, an orgasm still rippling through her body but laughter surrounding them as well.
His hands on her hips eased, sliding around to her back, caressing now. Lips coming together as they kissed with smiles on their faces. Slowing, still connected physically, and definitely connected on an even more intimate level.
When she pressed her cheek to his and squeezed her arms tight, it felt right. Coming back to earth after having visited the stars.
