by Cecy Robson
“Sal? You there?”
I’m not even listening to Lucca. “Bad connection. Say it again,” I lie.
“The boss wants you with him for a sit down. Thursday night at eight,” he says, but I can tell he knows I haven’t been paying attention.
A sit down. Aw, hell. “Where?”
“Tomasso’s.”
No wonder the maître d was so nervous when I took Aedry there. He must have known a meeting at his place was imminent. I played it off like his business was in trouble, which was a total lie. But then, it’s not the first time I’ve lied to this woman.
“You going?” Lucca asks.
What choice do I have? “I’ll be there. You?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
The edge in his voice tells me Lucca’s already set to kill. That doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to think I won’t have to. Each meeting Vin agrees to, and each step his father takes toward death, put him at risk. I’ve managed to dig myself into this shit so deep, it won’t be long before I fire a round into some bastard’s skull.
Or take one myself.
“Who’s covering Donnie?” I ask.
“He didn’t say anything about Donnie. Guess she’s on her own.”
He disconnects. I wait for the three consecutive beats that signal the line is clear before swearing. If Vincent is calling me in for a sit down, he’s either scared of who he’s meeting, what’s coming, or setting me up to guard his back full time.
If I watch Vin, no way in fuck can I end up not filling some asshole full of lead. I’d have to kill. I’d have to torture. I’d have to finish becoming one of them.
I do a mental check of the enemies Vin’s made and curse again. Yet my next few swears are all about Donnie. I walked in on Vin getting head the other night in his office. The girl going down on him on the couch couldn’t have been more than twenty. But he liked what she was doing to him and she didn’t care that I was there. He called me for some stupid shit that could have waited. I didn’t need to see what I saw. Except I think he wanted me to. Maybe even needed me to. He’s not a big guy. Someone like him needs to feel important any way he can.
My fingers flick the button to crack open the window, needing to get some air despite how frigid the fall day has become. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen this girl with Vin―her name’s Tina, I think. But every time I see her around, she has another piece of jewelry, newer clothes, and more attitude. Donnie’s on her way out and there’s nothing she or I can do about it.
Just like there’s nothing I can do about getting the hell out of Vin’s hold. I sold my soul to him to save what remained of my family. And now he wants some serious payback.
I roll to a stop a few cars down from Aedry’s little white Volkswagen. I’m fifteen minutes early until her time with my brothers end. But that’s how I planned it. For the last two weeks she’s either stayed just inside the confines of the school, or sent my brothers out on their own. Being who they are, they knew right away something had happened.
The first day I had to deal with them was the previous Monday, less than twenty-four hours after our date. Gianno had glanced back at the closing door, and so had Apollo. Gianno met me with a frown. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I rolled up the window when it was clear she wasn’t coming out, and didn’t want to see me.
Apollo was more nervous, scared even. “Sal, what did you do to Miss Aedry?”
“I said, ‘nothing’,” I bit out.
I shot out of the school lot, feeling them watching me. I didn’t bother with an explanation. I didn’t think I owed them one. But when Gianno started swearing, and Apollo wouldn’t say shit, I assured them I hadn’t hurt her. Even though I guess I did. “I’m not the right man for her.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Gianno snapped.
“It means we didn’t get along and we didn’t have a good night.”
That was only partly true. The night was good up until I took her home. I enjoyed learning about where she came from and getting to know her. I also liked how she felt against my body and how hot she made me when she came. But I didn’t tell them that.
“Stay out of my business and keep your head in school where it belongs,” I added when they wouldn’t stop drilling me.
My brothers weren’t happy. They didn’t like what I had to say, but eventually backed off.
I figured after a few days, a week tops, I’d catch a glimpse of her and eventually she’d start waving again. Now here we are, two weeks later and she still won’t return my calls.
I hop out of my car and slam the door shut. Well, this shit ends today.
“Hey,” someone calls to me. “That’s the teacher’s lot.”
“So?” I mutter without another glance back. The school is locked up tight, but I catch a break when a kid walks out. He moves back when he sees me, way back like he should. I jog up the steps to the next level. Her office is on the second floor, that much I know, so I follow the blue signs glued to the wall directing me to the guidance offices.
I’m a few steps from reaching the end of the hall when I catch sight of Gianno in what must be Aedry’s office. His long body is sprawled across a couch and he’s reading something he actually seems to be paying attention to. Last time I saw him reading this intently, he’d slipped a porn mag between the pages of a history text and was reading tips on how to go down on a girl. I ripped that shit in half. The last thing he needs at his age is an STI.
I glance through the window lined with wire. Her office is small, nothing more than a box with a glass front. Even still, it’s clean like her apartment, with bits of her personality poking through, a painting here, a vase there, and a flowery window treatment running above the industrial-looking blinds.
Aedry leans toward Apollo where they’re sitting at a desk, pointing to whatever he’s scribbling and speaking quietly. She nods, her smile widening the more he writes. When he pauses and shows her his work, her entire face lights up like the sun.
“You got it!” she says, giving his hand a squeeze.
I can’t see Apollo or make out everything he says, but based on his excitement, I know he’s smiling. Gianno glances up, shaking his head as he takes them in. His profile is only slightly visible, but I see enough of his grin to know he’s happy, too.
I don’t watch them long. Aedry straightens when she sees me, her smile dissolving.
“What’s wrong?” Apollo asks. He and Gianno turn around at the same time, neither thrilled to see me.
Nice.
I rap on the door out of courtesy and open it slowly. “Hey,” I say.
Aedry is the first to avert her gaze, flipping through Apollo’s notebook. “Don’t worry. You’re going to do well on your test,” she tells him like I’m not even there. “Just take your time and don’t rush.”
“Got a minute?” I ask, refusing to be ignored.
She stiffens, but it’s Gianno who answers. “We still have another ten with Miss Aedry.”
“This won’t take long,” I say.
Aedry meets me square in the eye. “If you want to discuss your brothers’ progress, you need to make an appointment. Otherwise, I’m not available.”
“Looks to me like you are.” I lean against the doorframe. “Like Gianno said, you have time.”
Maybe it’s me, but I’m pretty sure she’s about two seconds from flinging her hole- punch at me. My stare fixes on each of my brothers, long enough so they know I mean business. “Wait outside.”
Neither one of them moves and it pisses me off. Whose damn side are they on, anyway? After what seems like too long, and right when I’m ready to snatch them by their throats, Gianno lowers his feet to the floor and reaches for his backpack.
Apollo stays where he is. “Get going,” I tell him.
He stands, his gaze locking on mine. “No,” he says without flinching.
I push off the door frame and prowl forward. “I’m not asking,” I growl.
This time he does flinch, as he should. Aedry tries to step in front of him to shield him from me, but Gianno beats her to it. We face off, his nose just below mine. Hell, when did this little bastard get so tall? Doesn’t matter. I can still beat his ass, and he knows it.
Unlike Apollo though, Gianno isn’t looking for trouble. “Let’s go, Apollo,” he says.
No one moves, pissing me off more than I already am. Apollo opens his mouth, but Aedry cuts him off. “It’s okay,” she tells him, assuring him in that soft voice of hers.
He swallows a swear, but he bends to shove his crap into his backpack. He doesn’t look at me when he storms out, but my eyes stay trained on him. I don’t expect Gianno to shove his face into mine. But that’s exactly what he does. “Don’t fuck this up,” he says.
I tighten my jaw, not happy with how my brothers are pushing me today. “I’m serious, Sal,” Gianno says. “Don’t be an asshole.”
I don’t like the way he’s talking to me and if we were at home, I’d smack him upside the head. He knows I’m plenty mad and that this shit going down between us won’t be over when he walks out. Except he doesn’t care, keeping his attention on me when he calls to Aedry. “Bye, Miss Aedry,” he tells her.
“Bye, sweetie,” she responds.
Sweetie? Da hell?
I wait for him to shut the door behind him before turning back to Aedry. She’s sitting in her chair with her legs crossed, the skirt of her denim dress brushing against her shins.
“Hey,” I say like a dumbass.
She raises her brows. “Let’s get one thing straight. We’re going to talk about your brothers and nothing more. Am I clear?”
Most women who meet me want to shove me into bed. Aedry’s glare suggests she’d like to shove me through a window, without opening it first. I didn’t come here to argue so I take a seat at the sofa, putting some distance between us.
“How are they doing?” I ask.
The strain in her shoulders eases enough for me to notice, but not much more. She swivels in her seat and opens her file. “Gianno has shown tremendous improvement. His biggest challenges remain in history. I’ve started counseling him―”
“Why? He’s fine.”
She lifts her chin. “He asked to meet with me. It’s nothing formal, not like it is with Apollo. Just questions here and there, and brief talks during his tutoring.”
“Talks about what?”
“His past and some of the stress he’s going through.”
“Stress?” She nods. “All he has to do is go to school. How much stress can he have?”
She taps her finger against the desk. I don’t ever remember her being this, I don’t know, impatient with me. But as I keep looking at her, “impatient” isn’t quite the right word. Fit to be tied is more like it. Except, when she talks, her voice stays even and relaxed. “I think you’re forgetting what it’s like to be sixteen. There’s a lot of pressure to act a certain way, be accepted, and feel like you have a place in the world. It helps that Gianno is a natural leader―”
“He gets it from me.”
I mean it as a joke to loosen her up. Aedry doesn’t take it that way and is irate that I cut her off. “Do you want to discuss your brothers, or would you prefer to use this time to inflate your already immense ego and take control, like always?”
Damn. I start to tell her that I don’t have a big ego―and that I don’t always have to be in control, but that’s a lie and we both know it. A certain satisfaction sparks her eyes. It should piss me off, and it would with anyone else. But it’s not like that with her. Like I said, this woman is . . . yeah, I’m in deep shit.
I try to keep my face hard, but I don’t pull it off in time. Another spark lights her irises when she catches my smirk. I lean back. “If Gianno’s a leader, like I’ve taught him to be, he should be better off, right?
“He should be. And in a lot of ways he is. But he’s also very alpha,” she says, looking right at me. “Which gets him into trouble.”
“How?” I frown. “You mean the fights?”
“He doesn’t back down when he feels he’s been disrespected.”
“And he shouldn’t.”
“Sometimes he needs to.” She holds her hand up when I start to interrupt. “Disrespect at this age is different than it is in adulthood. The things we would let go could lead to an altercation between teens. Yesterday, in the cafeteria, another boy subbed out his chair for one Gianno was going to sit in. There was nothing wrong with the chair and Gianno hadn’t yet sat. But it set Gianno off. He had it in his head that the chair already belonged to him. I was on lunch duty and I managed to deescalate the situation. But if I hadn’t, those boys would have gone to blows over an old plastic chair.”
“Okay. I get it. I’ll talk to him.” I wait a breath. “Does he talk about the past―about what happened between our parents?”
“I let him talk about anything that upsets him.”
“But you won’t tell me what.”
She doesn’t blink, even though the sharpness to my tone suggests she needs to spill the details. “I won’t betray Gianno’s trust, or Apollo’s,” she says. “We agreed that I could discuss general concerns if you asked, but never anything specific unless their safety or someone else’s was at risk.”
I want to argue, but I can’t. I know trust doesn’t come easy for my brothers. Hell, for any of us. If they’re talking to Aedry, it’s because they need to, and I won’t take that away from them.
“What about Apollo?”
She shifts through the files on her desk. “He’s improving in all his classes, but his progress is slower. As his confidence in his academics continues to blossom, I’m certain that will change.”
“But how is he doing in counseling? Is he talking to you, opening up?”
“He is,” she answers, carefully.
I lean back, watching her brow crease with concern. “Something wrong?”
This time when she faces me there’s no attitude, her perfect blue eyes warm enough to melt even a guy as cold as me. “He’s deeply affected by his past and struggles more with his decisions.”
“He seems fine to me,” I say, more because I want to believe it’s true.
“He’s not,” she adds, quietly. “Apollo carries a tremendous amount of guilt, and while Gianno is traumatized by what he saw the night of your parents’ death, his guilt is slightly alleviated because, like you, he tried to save your mother.”
Anger clenches my gut, but it’s not directed at Aedry or my brothers. It’s all due to that shit for brains man I used to call my father. “They’ve talked about me?”
She considers her words, her posture relaxing so maybe I will, too. “They talk about everyone who’s impacted them.”
I tilt my chin and try to relax my clenching fists as I remember how Gianno took over our mother’s protection when I left. It wasn’t fair of me to leave them behind―to put all that hell and responsibility on them. But I had to make something of myself for her and for them.
“What are you thinking?” Aedry asks, keeping her tone easy.
“That I want them to be okay,” I admit. “Despite what they’ve been through.”
“I have faith they will be.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” A small smile arcs her full lips as she glances at the wall clock perched above my head. “Time’s up.”
I furrow my brows when I realize what happened. “Did you just pull that counseling shit on me?” She purses her lips as if trying not to laugh. “Son of bitch,” I groan, causing her to lose it.
I didn’t realize how much I missed that pretty face until then, but there it is. Her humor vanishes the longer I take her in, but that infamous blush returns. She swivels in her seat, giving me her back.
“Have a good weekend,” she says, busying herself at her desk.
She’s trying to dismiss me, but I came here for a reason and I’m not ready to leave. “I’m sorry for how I treated you,” I say, causing he
r to still. “I didn’t mean it.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long while. I’m working through what else to say when she finally speaks. “You didn’t mean what? To treat me like a monstrous douche or all those asinine things you said?”
Well, shit. This went downhill fast. “I meant what I said about not fucking virgins. That doesn’t mean I meant any disrespect.” She’s not saying anything. I force out more. “The last thing I’d ever do is intentionally hurt a woman.” Dead silence. “There’s nothing wrong with being how you are,” I finally add.
All I said sounded right in my head. That’s sure as hell not how she takes it.
“You didn’t mean any disrespect?” she repeats. If I didn’t think she could stiffen anymore, I was wrong. “And there’s nothing wrong with how I am?” she asks, spinning her chair slowly to face me. “Really?”
“That’s right.”
She glares at me with enough hate to kill. “And, how am I?” she asks.
She’s pissed. I’m not used to anyone―especially a woman calling me out. I should walk on outta here before I bury myself deeper than I am.
But I don’t.
“Sweet,” I tell her, my deep voice dropping. “It’s why I like you.”
Her jaw pops open, but she recovers fast. “That’s not how you made me feel,” she says. “You made me feel―” She steals a glance at the window and sighs before turning back to me. “You made me feel dirty.”
“What?”
She waits, as if debating whether to continue. For as mad as she is, it’s the hurt I pick up on when she finally speaks. “The way you pulled away from me was so abrupt, it was as if I was something loathsome to touch.”
“That’s not how I meant it,” I grind out. Shit. I messed up and my actions crushed her.
“Whether you meant it or not, that’s how I felt.” She brushes her hair away, even though it’s not in her face. “You believe in a promiscuous lifestyle, which is why you barely blink knowing your brothers are sexually active. I don’t share your perspective. I never have. But I don’t judge you or think less of you for your beliefs. Because of it, I expect the same respect back.”
I lean forward, placing my forearms on my knees. “I respect you. I respect you more than anyone I know. But I’m not going to lie. When you told me what you were, you knocked me on my ass―given what we were doing and how hard you were making me―it’s the last thing I expected you to say.”
