by Kat Brewer
Thoughts of the Erlan Commander ran through his mind. Their night together was a fond memory to him. The rivalry with Nall had led him to be quite foolish towards her, and that memory still burned.
Darien knew Nall was in love with her, and he was fairly sure it was not something he would get over quickly, hence his absence.
“I have thrown every available female in his path, but he has shown no interest. So, I have contented myself to let him heal and come around whenever he feels he is ready,” Nyles said, shaking his head.
“That is probably for the best, Nyles,” Darien replied. "Perhaps, I should ride out to the outpost, visit with him a bit, and aggravate him out of his depression." A wide grin split Darien’s face.
Nyles looked at the other King for a moment and laughed.
“That just might do it, but then again it may also start a war.”
“I give my word, Your Highness, that I will not hold anything your son says to me against Serlenn,” Darien assured with him a bow, still grinning. “Besides, if the hunting is that good, then I can’t let Nall have all of the fun.” Nyles laughed again, and the two men decided that Darien would go and pay a surprise visit to Nall in two days’ time.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Fara looked at Nall as he stood enrobed in weak winter sunlight, his hair the color of the thick snow, and sighed.
He was so beautiful, so strong, and he was such a wonderful lover, she believed she could look at him forever. She had very quickly fallen deeply in love with her handsome Prince.
She sighed again, pulling the blanket more firmly about her legs. She had given up hope of regaining her former life and memories. A messenger had come days ago from the healer further north. The individual with a similar memory loss, due to a head injury, never regained his memories.
She was not sad, though. Her lot could have been much worse, and she ended up well-cared-for.
Nall had hitched a sleigh up and was checking the bindings on the stout draft horses that would pull them through the snow. She had waited all morning while he trained with his men, and now, he was finally hers again.
She had been battling restlessness this past couple of weeks. She could not figure out what she could possibly be missing, so she was determined to dismiss it.
She had been working with some of the Ladies at the fort on her sewing and embroidery. Apparently, she had forgotten how to do even that. Fara was working on a new cloak for Nall. It was a surprise, and she couldn’t wait to see his face when she gave it to him.
The nagging feeling that she was supposed to be doing something was suppressed for a bit when she had begun her sewing, but now it was roaring to life again. She just felt like there was something else she should be doing, and the nagging dream about the man with golden eyes had plagued her for a full week now.
She didn’t know who or what he was, she only saw eyes of shining gold.
She had told Nall about it, and he had dismissed it as though it was nothing, but she felt there had to be more to it if she continued having the exact same dream. Sighing again, she looked up and met Nall’s dark blue eyes and smiled.
“What were you thinking about that had you so serious, my love?” he asked.
“I was thinking that I might take up arms in order to spend more time with you,” she returned, and she was puzzled when Nall frowned.
“Fara, women do not fight. You know that.” He said gruffly.
“I know. I know. I am just so in love with you that I want to be with you all of the time.” Her lips quivered into a pout. Nall’s face relaxed and he smiled, leaning over to bite gently on her lip.
“I love you, too, so very much, but I must train my men. I must train with them properly if they are to respect me as their leader and future King,” he said as he stepped into the sleigh and pulled up the blanket then sat down, their thighs touching.
He arranged the blankets snugly around them and took up the reigns, urging the horses into a canter.
They laughed and talked as the icy landscape passed them by.
Fara snuggled close to Nall. Her hands, covered in thick mittens, rested in his lap. Nall held the reigns with one hand, and the other was draped across her shoulders holding her close to him. They stopped before a frozen lake and admired the prismatic colors the sun threw off of the frozen tree limbs.
Nall turned and cupped her face, kissing her softly on the lips.
“I want to marry you, Fara. I want you to one day be my Queen.” He stared earnestly into her eyes and watched them widen in surprise and then warm in happiness.
“Nall, I would love to be your wife and spend every day of my life at your side,” she replied, and Nall kissed her deeply.
They sat holding one another quietly until they heard the sound of hoof beats on the snow.
They both stood and turned to see a small group of men coming out of the woods. Seeing them, Nall and Fara sat and turned the sleigh in their direction. Nall reached behind the seat and took out his sword, holding it out of sight.
“Ho!” the riders called out. “Prince Nall!”
Nall’s heart plummeted when he recognized Darien.
His idyll was over. Now, she would discover the truth. He looked down at her, and she beamed up at him, oblivious to his inner heartbreak.
Darien rode up to them, grinning. “How are you, my friend?”
“King Darien, I am well,” Nall said, swallowing convulsively as Darien’s eyes moved to Nall’s companion, and he watched as the smile slid from the Destian King's in confusion.
Darien’s eyes shot to Nall and then back to the woman at his side, while Fara smiled at Darien and bowed her head politely.
“Greetings, Your Highness. It seems My Lord’s manners have deserted him. I am Lady Fara, a guest of his Highness,” she said, smiling warmly at Darien.
Darien was thunderstruck. This was Cassandra, and he knew it was. What was going on here?
He looked at Nall hard, and the Prince flushed guiltily.
“I am pleased to meet you, My Lady,” Darien smiled at her. He looked back at Nall and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “Lord Nall, I have come at your father’s invitation to enjoy the fine hunting to be had, and I am most eager to hear all the latest news of interest from you.” He smiled meaningfully at Nall.
“Yes, My Lord. I would be honored to be your host. Let us return to the keep.” Nall helped Fara to sit and arranged the blankets around her.
Picking up the reigns, he set the horses in motion, followed by Darien and his guard.
Fara looked at him strangely, wondering at his silence.
“Nall, what is the matter?” she asked as Darien came abreast to ride next to them.
“It is nothing, my love. We will speak of it later,” he said.
“Lady Fara, is it? How long have you been in this country?” Darien asked pleasantly as he pulled his horse up to trot alongside the sleigh.
Fara turned and smiled at the King of Destia as he rode beside them.
“I have been with My Lord Nall for just over two months now, Your Highness. He came to my rescue in the forest,” she said.
“Rescue? Indeed. Why were you in need of rescue, My Lady?”
“I had a head injury, and I have lost all memories of my life before the accident. Lord Nall came upon me in the forest and took me in, healing and caring for me.” She turned her smile on Nall and squeezed his hand.
“Really? How gallant of him.” Darien’s eyes went over her head and locked with Nall’s, narrowing with menace.
“Yes, he has been very kind to me,” she returned, missing the looks flying between the men.
“I can tell he has. You were indeed fortunate in your rescuer,” Darien said.
They arrived at the fort and were soon stepping out of the sleigh as Darien and his men dismounted. They hurried into the Great Hall, making for the fireplace as Fara called out orders to the servants for food and drinks for their royal guest.
She saw the men seated an
d comfortable by the fire and then fussed over them when the food and drink came. She handed a warm goblet of wine to King Darien and blushed under his intent gaze before handing another to Nall.
“My Lady, would you be so kind as to leave Darien and myself to some men’s talk?” Nall asked, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.
“Of course, My Lord. If there is anything you need, please send a servant for me,” she answered, smiling down into his eyes before bowing to Darien and leaving the room.
“What game is this, Nall?” Darien asked without preamble. Nall stood and walked to the fireplace, resting his head on the mantle and staring into the flames. “Why have you not told her who she is? Why has she not been returned to Erla?” Darien demanded.
“I…" Nall's voice trailed off, not knowing what to say.
“You must tell her, Nall. You have to confess what you have done. Are you insane? Did you think you could get away with keeping her here forever? What if her memory returned? You would be lucky if all she did was kill you. This is madness!” Darien stood and began pacing. “I know you believe yourself to be in love with her, but god’s above and below, how could you think this would ever work out?” Darien’s voice rose.
“I knew one day it would come out, Darien. I am not that much a fool. I saw a chance to be with the woman I love, have a life with her, no matter how short, and I took that chance. Cassandra would never have given up Erla and Nera to be with me. I know that. When I found her and she had no memory, I knew I should have returned her to Erla, but I couldn’t. I wanted the chance to love her.” Nall spoke passionately, and Darien ran his hand through his thick black hair.
“You know I have to tell her, right? Even now, the Lady Kara rides for Serlenn to enlist our aid in finding her Commander. How long till she stands at your door with a sword in her hand demanding the return of her friend? If you will not tell her everything, then I will.” Nall’s eyes flashed fire at Darien. “Would you kill me to secure another day with her? If you truly love her, how can you resign her to the life of a docile lap dog at your hearth? Don’t you miss the woman of fire and passion who is sadly missing in this shadow of her former self? Do you really love Cassandra, or do you love this meek, mild Fara you have created?” Darien raged at Nall.
“No, Darien, I love her! I would take her any way that I could have her. I know you are right, though. I know I have to tell her.” Nall hung his head and rubbed his watering eyes.
“You will tell her now?” Darien asked. Nall nodded.
“I will tell her tonight. Now, if you please, I need a moment.” Nall turned and left the room, heading outside for fresh air.
Darien called one of his men to him. Quickly scratching out a note, he ordered the man to take a fast horse to intercept Lady Kara on her way to Serlenn and to bring her here; he had what she was looking for.
The man nodded and turned quickly to find his horse.
Outside of the Great Hall, a woman stood supported by the stone wall. She was ghastly pale and shaking. Her world had been snatched out from under her by the conversation she had just overheard.
Fara inhaled deeply and squared her shoulders before walking into the room now occupied only by the Destian King.
Darien looked up sharply when she entered, by her stricken look and tear-stained face, he knew that she had heard. He met her eyes in silence as she approached.
“Is it true? What I heard you say...Is it true, My Lord?” she asked, staring at him beseechingly.
“Yes, Lady. It is true,” he replied simply.
“Why? Why would Nall do this? If he knew me, why did he not just tell me?” Tears began to fall again.
Darien stared at her, bemused. The woman before him was so contrary to the woman he knew so well that it was almost as if another person inhabited the same flesh.
She looked up and caught his eyes.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she sniffled, wiping at her face with a handkerchief she had pulled from her dress pocket.
“I have never seen you cry before,” he said.
“Do we know each other well then, My Lord?” she asked, her breath hitching.
“Very well, Lady. Intimately so in fact.” His eyes flickered with the memory, and Fara’s face burned.
She turned from him and walked to the fireplace. She rested her forehead against the mantle in the same way Nall had done only moments ago.
“My name is Cassandra? Is that right?” She glanced up at the handsome warrior King, and he nodded. “Tell me who I am, Sir. I would like to know the truth.”
“You are Cassandra, Commander of Erla’s Army and leader of Queen Nera’s Personal Guard. You are the greatest warrior Erla has ever seen, and you are sorely missed by your people and your Queen.” She turned to face him as he spoke, and she read the truth in his face.
“The woman I am now embroiders cloaks for the man she loves. She does not fight wars or protect Queens, I feel as if you are talking about someone else. Oh God, I wish I could remember!” She wiped her eyes again. “Why would the Prince of Serlenn not tell me of my true identity? What could he have hoped to gain from this charade?” Her eyes burned into his, anger overcoming her tears.
Darien sucked in a breath. She was, as always, magnificent in her anger.
“He hoped to gain you. Nall has been in love with you from the start. I believe you did harbor feelings for him, but you would not shirk your duties to your Queen or to Erla. You chose to let him go.” Darien glanced up to see Nall step into the room and freeze when he saw her and heard Darien’s words.
“You could not wait and allow me to tell her? You sought her out to give her the news without me?” Pain laced through Nall’s voice as Cassie turned hurt and angry eyes upon him.
“She overheard us, Nall. I did not betray you. I was content to allow you to tell her yourself, but that is a moot point now. She knows, and you have much to explain to her,” Darien said.
Bowing to Cassie, he strode from the room.
“Why, Nall? Why did you lie to me? You have broken my trust in such a cruel way!” she sobbed slightly on the words, tears returning to her eyes.
Nall reached out to her, but she pushed his hands away.
“I have no defense. I lied to keep you by my side as it was the only way I could have you. I found you in the woods with no memory, the woman I have loved and longed for, and I saw a chance to keep you with me, so I took it.” Nall’s eyes were tortured as they sought hers.
“Bullshit. That is such bullshit. I had no memory. You could have told me my name, and I still would not have remembered. You were incredibly selfish and led me to believe I was someone I am not, stealing my life from me. You took the coward’s way and you lied to me!”
“I love you so much. I would do anything for you…anything to have you.” His eyes begged her for understanding.
“How can you say that? I am grossly different from what I was before as I understand it. How can you honestly say you love me? Do you even know me? I don’t know myself. King Darien has described a woman totally unlike the one you have made of me.” She paced wildly about the room, her breath coming in ragged gasps.
“I love you now, even as I loved the woman you once were. I was wrong to do things this way. I have known that all along, but I could not give you up. I knew one day Kara of Erla would ride through my gates or that someone else would recognize the Commander of the Erlan Army, and I would lose you. I had only hoped it would not be so soon.” Nall’s head lowered, and crystal tears slipped down his face to fall on the stone floor beneath his feet.
Cassie’s heart clenched at his pain, but she refused to go and comfort him.
“Am I supposed to fall into your arms and forgive you now, because you did it out of love? You are a fool, Nall. How can I possibly consider staying with a man who could lie so easily? I can never trust you again, nor do I wish to. I have loved a man who does not exist.”
She picked up a goblet and flung it at the wall, and wat
ching the wine bleed down the surface, she had another flash of déjà vu. Another goblet on another wall…but as soon as the flash of memory came, it vanished, leaving her slightly disoriented.
Nall buried his head in his hands in misery. The worst had happened, and he had no choice but to accept whatever decision she made. Cassie turned, and in a flurry of skirts, she rushed back to the bedchamber she had shared with Nall.
Looking around, she felt like a stranger to herself.
Washing her face off in a bowl of water, she quickly dried it and then lowered herself into a chair by the fire. Her eyes were vacant as she gazed into the flames, her heart aching horribly.
A knock sounded on the door, King Darien opened it and let himself in, coming to sit across from her. His enigmatic eyes rested upon her strained face.
“I sent a messenger to intercept the Lady Kara. She was en route to King Nyles. I believe she will come here immediately and may even be here before nightfall.” He searched her vacant blue-green eyes for some flicker of emotion and found none. “Kara is your Second-in-Command and a very dear friend of yours.” Cassie sighed softly and focused on the handsome man across from her.
“You said you knew me intimately, so I assume you mean we were lovers. Did I mean so little to you that you do not mind what has passed here between Nall and me?” she asked speculatively.
Darien’s eyes flared.
“Indeed, no, Lady. At one time, I had hoped we could have more, but you could not be swayed from Erla. In that respect, Nall and I share a kinship. Though, I was the only one with whom you lay then.” His eyes were hot on hers. “Nall and I competed most fervently for your favor at one time. I was the only one crafty enough to seduce you properly, though. Nall was much too chivalrous.” A wicked grin spread across his face in memory.
“So, he was at least honest back then,” she said bitterly.
“Lady, you have every right to be angry and feel betrayed. But in Nall’s defense, I must say he has always been a man of integrity, and while I cannot excuse his methods, I can understand his reasons,” Darien spoke softly.
