by Nora Cobb
I hurry down the steps and out the door toward my car, but before I can clear the path, I hear my name called. Marcy is standing in the back of the building, waiting for someone. I doubt it’s me, but I stop and walk over. Big mistake. We’ve been mutually avoiding each other since the lip-sync ball. I know I shouldn’t be on edge, but my neck is so tense it cracks when I twist it.
“You want me for something?” I ask.
Marcy grabs my upper arm like I’m her kid and I’m making a nasty scene in public. I pull back and break loose, and then she chases me. What the fuck? Is this the twilight zone? I hurry behind the building and try a fire door, but it’s locked from the outside. She grabs for me again, but I swing my textbook into her stomach.
“What is wrong with you?” I shout at her.
“Stay away from him,” she hisses.
“From who?”
Her eyes widen as her mouth twists. “You slut.”
“What?” I know who she’s talking about, but I’m in total amazement that she’s acting like this.
I shout as she grabs the sleeve of my sweat jacket and stretches it a mile. I use my textbook as a weapon and try my hardest to beat her down. I’m pulled off her by Chase. I’m panting hard as I shake my head.
“It is not what it looks like,” I say firmly.
Chase sighs and scoops Marcy up. He tugs at the exit door and when it doesn’t open, he uses his keycard to open it. Marcy is a crying mess as she clings to him as if she doesn’t have a bone in her body. Chase looks back at me and almost looks ashamed. And then they disappear into the building.
Chapter Fifteen
Luna: At library.
Vicki: What? A library? Why the fuck?
Luna: Silly. Have a test this week. Later.
I toss a dinner in the microwave and wait for four minutes with my arms crossed. It’s a guilty pleasure to eat pasta in bed. So far, other than Marcy going ape-shit crazy over her man, nothing else bad has happened to me this week. Theo will be back in a few days, and I’ll ask him again to crash in the suite. He refused originally but hinted that he might be getting a new room assignment.
I climb into bed and wrap the covers over my shoulders. Mac and cheese while streaming an angsty teen show is perfection. The heroine starts crying over an F grade on her algebra test, and I wish my life was that fucking stupid. Too many carbs before bed, and I start nodding off, but I don’t want to sleep yet. Damn, my neck keeps bending until my chin hits my chest. I toss the empty paper bowl in the trash and leave my computer on as a nightlight. With a full tummy, I drift off to sleep.
***
It’s the middle of the night when I wake up from another awful dream. It fades into a vague memory as I tug and pull at my covers. I can’t pull them up to my chin. My legs are freezing, and nothing is covering me. Something is holding me down, but I’m not caught in the sheets. I’m fully awake when I open my eyes, and my breath catches as my eyes widen. Silas’s face is hovering over mine in the dim orange light from my computer screen. I’m awake, but I can’t stop dreaming. My body shakes violently, but I’m not shaking. I’m being shaken as hands tighten around my upper arms. Silas gives me a violent shaking until my teeth rattle. I twist and turn, unable to break free.
“You stole from me,” he growls in a raspy voice. “Bitch, you stole from me.”
“I didn’t,” I gasp the words. My legs are bare, and my T-shirt has risen up to my waist. I start to kick, trying fruitlessly to cover my bare legs and break free. I almost get away, but Silas catches me and pins me down again. He shakes me harder, climbing over me onto the mattress.
“You took it, and you used it,” he growls deep in his throat. “You’re an addict. A stupid, coked-up addict. You can’t resist it.”
His livid face blurs into starbursts in my vision as I start to cry. “No, I swear I didn’t.”
Held down on the bed, I panic, and the memories flood back of a place I went to when I was fourteen. A place that was supposed to cure me but left me broken instead and doubting myself. Doubting my reason for being alive and if I should be here or anywhere. I sob, trying to break free of his unforgiving grip.
Silas shakes me again. “You’re going to tell me the truth.”
My teeth chatter as the tears wet my face. “Please get off me.”
I never told Dad what the staff did at rehab. If you dared to complain, they’d teach you a lesson when they had you alone. The doors had no locks, and you couldn’t hide or run away. I tried. They pulled me out from underneath the bed. I had taken the few things I had and stuffed them in a garbage bag. I was going to sneak away that night. But they caught me and restrained me in my bed. I couldn’t move, and I felt as if I were suffocating as saliva filled the back of my throat. Coughing until my eyes watered, I begged to be let up, but they ignored me as they talked about me amongst themselves. I threw up on the floor.
“She ain’t going anywhere,” the aide said to the other. “They all think they’re sane, but they’re the ones that are crazy. Sane people stay away from here.”
The other aide tossed the garbage bag on top of my stomach. “Where do you think you’re going, Victoria?
She stared at me with her hands on her hips and her bottom lip poked out. “Nowhere. That’s where.” She shook her head. “And you’re cleaning up this mess in the morning. I’m not cleaning up after no princess.” She laughed, and the other aide joined in. “Princess and her pills.”
They didn’t give a shit about anything but their paychecks and power trips.
“Please get off me,” I barely whisper.
Silas stops shaking my shoulders and stares at me. Maybe it registers in him that something is very wrong. Suddenly, he’s off me. I’m breathing heavily, and I roll over onto my side, facing the wall. Inhaling deeply and loudly, I cough, spitting up mucus. I don’t care that I’m drooling on the sheets. I just want to breathe. Please don’t let him touch me again.
Drawers are pulled out, and my stuff crashes to the ground as his heavy footsteps circle around my room. He tears apart my stuff, and I don’t stop him. I don’t dare turn my head to look. I lie huddled in the corner of my bed as far away from Silas as I can get. Glass shatters in the bathroom, and I hear the shower curtain rip. But I don’t care. All I want is to be left alone.
I sense him standing by the bed, but I bury my face in my pillow. My shoulders shake as I try to hide my sobbing. It can’t be helped. I’m weak, and I hate him for seeing me this way. I should get up from my bed and lash out hard. But my limbs are too heavy to move as I curl into a fetal position.
“I can’t find it,” he says. “Maybe you’re telling the truth. But I doubt it.”
His hand touches my back, and a shudder passes through my body as I grab my T-shirt and pull it over my knees. The sheet flows over my body. The soft cotton makes contact with my chilled skin, and I grab it. Holding my breath, I wait until I hear the front door slam, and then I open my eyes again.
My room is destroyed. Everything I own is scattered across the floor, even my laptop. My clothes, books, and papers are in disarray. I tiptoe into the bathroom as if I’m disturbing the disruption. My makeup is thrown into the shower along with the curtains. The lid is up on the toilet, and the lid to the tank is cracked and lying on the floor.
My body starts to shake as I begin to sob. Not over the ruined mess but over the violation. How did he even get in here? I run out into the living room, to the front door. It’s locked, but how did he get in? I run to Luna’s bedroom and gasp. Shit. He was in here too. Her stuff is thrown all over her room. Her beautiful clothes are slashed. He ripped pages out of her textbooks.
I back away. I caused this to happen. Once again, Silas went after one of my friends.
I keep taking steps backward until my back is literally against the wall. I sink down to the floor and cover my mouth with my hands. The door opens again. The only thing that keeps me from screaming is my hands over my mouth.
“Vicki, are you okay?” Luna tos
ses her books on the kitchen table and runs over to me. She kneels on the ground in front of me. The look on her face lets me know that someone gives a damn what happens to me. I grab ahold of her as if she’s the only one who can keep me from sinking down further.
Luna holds me tight in her arms. “Vicki, it’s okay. It will be all right.”
Chapter Sixteen
The admins’ building can be seen from the front step of the town house, but it feels like it’s miles away as Luna and I walk toward it. We camped out in the living room last night after Luna pushed the kitchen table against the front door. I keep forgetting she speaks several languages, and she was cursing in all of them throughout the night. She wasn’t upset with me at all, but I didn’t mention the drugs. Luna was furious with Silas. She shook her fist at the front door in his direction and called him a fucked-up word that I don’t even use.
“We have to file a complaint against him,” repeats Luna as we walk across campus the next day. “I’m not pounding on his door like a lunatic, but he has no right to come into our space and terrorize you.”
“I’d rather we didn’t,” I reply softly.
Luna looks at me sternly. “I know you like his friends, but if they really like you, it won’t screw up your relationship with them. If they back him, it means they think he’s right, and if they think he’s right, then you need to cut them loose.”
I don’t have the nerve to tell Luna that Silas broke into our suite to retrieve the drugs I stole from him. Luna jumped easily to the conclusion that it was retribution for Theo. She also guessed that Rhys would be expelled if Jagan knew he had trapped Theo. At present, Jagan thinks that Rhys is as innocent as Theo, and that another culprit was involved.
I shake my head, thinking about it, and Luna misinterprets the gesture.
“Vicki, we have to do this.” She repeats all the reasons why as we step into the building.
The smile melts off Rudi’s face when she sees the grim look on mine. Yeah, maybe we should report it, but I have a funny thing about being a snitch. Unfortunately, Jagan is available to meet with us without an appointment, and we’re shown into his office. He’s standing by the window that looks out onto the campus green, doting on his Boston fern that has taken over a corner of his office. He smiles warmly at us, unaware of what’s coming.
“Girls, sit down,” he walks toward his minibar. “Tea or seltzer?”
I shake my head and sit down on the couch beside Luna. “Not today, Jagan.” I avoid eye contact. This is pretty serious.”
His smile fades a little, but then it’s back. “What’s happened?” He sits down on the couch across from us. “How can I help make things better?”
I clear my throat, but Luna launches right in. “Silas Vinson broke into our suite and trashed it.”
The smile completely disappears from Jagan’s face, and he frowns. I can barely look at him. I’m afraid he’ll see the guilty look in my eyes.
“How do you know he broke in?” asks Jagan quietly.
Luna’s voice climbs up the scale. “Because Vicki was there when he did it.”
Jagan looks at me, and I have to meet his gaze. “Vicki, did you see him?”
I nod, but I can barely speak. Instead I watch my fingernail pick at a loose thread on a throw pillow and avoid Jagan’s steady gaze. Luna places a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“She’s still scared to death,” she says, rubbing my shoulder. “He frightened her, and she was a mess when I came home.”
Jagan looks hard at Luna. “So, you didn’t actually see him?”
Luna pulls her hand off me and glares at Jagan. “No, but she says he was there, and he’s nuts.”
Jagan looks at me and then back at Luna. I’m on the spot, and I have to respond sooner or later. “It happened. He broke into our suite and trashed our bedrooms.”
“And you saw him?” asks Jagan, leaning back. He looks troubled by the conversation, and for a moment, I start believing that something might be done. Maybe Jagan isn’t a fundraiser posing as a new age charlatan.
I stop picking at the pillow and lean forward. “He woke me up.”
Jagan runs his hand over his beard. “Do you have any other proof?”
And just like that, it’s over, and I want to get up and leave.
“Any other proof?” Luna shouts, and I’ve never heard her raise her voice in anger before.
Jagan stares at her sternly. “Unless he admits to breaking in, it’s her word against his.”
Sighing, I lean back against the couch like I was draped there. What’s that saying—a dime a dozen or some shit like that? Wealth is nothing special here at Redwood. A kid has to be wealthy to attend a boarding school in the forest. It’s like being sent to summer camp for four freaking years. I wonder how many times Jagan has been bribed to let a grade slide or to admit a kid without a decent portfolio. I know now that he can’t be bought, not with money anyway. He’ll take it, but you won’t own him. Right now, I’d give anything to be in Silas’ bedroom again and look through the binder with Jagan’s initials.
I sit up and shake off the sadness for a moment. “What’s your last name again, Jagan?”
He starts at my non sequitur and says, “Parks. Why do you ask?”
I sigh. “No reason.”
Luna stares at me oddly, trying to figure out what’s on my mind. Immediately, she digs into Jagan again. “What about CCTV? There are cameras all over this place.”
Jagan smiles apologetically and shakes his head. “That’s not available for students. Luna, if we pursue this, the results may be devastating not just for Silas but also for you and Vicki.”
Luna gawks at Jagan like he grew another head on top of the old one. “In what way? We didn’t do anything wrong.”
For a split second, Jagan glances at me, and I freeze. How guilty does my face look right now?
He continues, “A criminal complaint would have to be filed, which would mean that law enforcement would be involved. Though you may be the victims,” he raises his hand in an apologetic gesture, “You may not feel that way under scrutiny.”
Jagan looks at me again, and I stare at my folded hands.
“You know what, Jagan?” I look up, shaking my hair off my face. “Could you just have a talk with Silas? Let him know that it’s not acceptable. And if it happens again, I will go to the authorities and tell them everything.”
Jagan stares at me, and his expression is unnerving because it’s blank. I read no emotion in it—positive or negative. It’s as if he’s trying to read my mind or hypnotize me. His dark eyes don’t blink, and I want to squirm, but I do not move. To fidget would admit guilt. I hold his scrutinizing gaze until he speaks again.
“So,” Jagan says, “it won’t happen again?”
“It never did,” I reply coolly, “but I need someone to convince him.”
Jagan nods, satisfied with my response. “Girls, I’m sorry this has happened. We will guarantee improved security.”
“New locks on the doors,” demands Luna. “It could’ve been a lot worse.”
Jagan stands, and I follow his lead. But Luna remains seated and glares at him with her arms folded over her chest. He smiles down on her, his hand stretched out as if he’s a benevolent spirit. Luna flips her long hair and turns her head. It’s fast, but Jagan’s eye twitches. I grab Luna’s arm and yank her up from her seat.
“Of course he will change the locks,” I tell her.
Jagan grins at me as if I’m the favorite child, but that’s a long list of names. I might rank twenty. “The locks will be replaced, and also the furniture.”
Luna sucks her teeth. “Redwood can’t afford my taste.”
I gawk at her. The happy and fun Luna who I room with has been replaced with She-Ra. I’m grateful to have a friend that will defend me through thick and thin. Her golden heart is worth more than any person I have ever known except my father. But I have to school her on how to play the industry. I glance over at Jagan, and he has a sou
r look on his face. He turns his back on Luna and smiles at me full on.
“Vicki, good to see you again.” He pulls me into his arms for a bear hug. “You tell me what you need to have replaced, and the school will do it. And stay brave.” He pulls away and looks me dead in the eye. “You’re on the right path.” Jagan lets me go and pats Luna once on the back. “Thanks for coming in.” He holds the door open and waits for us to leave.
I can’t get out of that building fast enough. Luna follows quickly behind. And it doesn’t take too long to notice that she’s barely speaking to me. When we reach the town house, she flies up the steps, and as I approach the open door to our suite, she yanks it shut.
