It was from this vantage point that Natalie saw when Cade’s entire family entered. Though she’d tried not to, she’d managed to keep track of the attractive man the entire evening, and now watched as he joined his sisters and parents. Immediately, three of the kids ran up to him, and he crouched down to say something that made them all laugh.
Then he chose that moment to look up, straight at her.
She didn’t have time to look away, and once his dark eyes caught on hers—even from across the room—she didn’t want to. He winked, then turned back to the kids.
Heavens, the room was hot. She tried to fan herself with her bunch of candy canes, but they did nothing but waft peppermint through the air.
Wait. This was not a hot room feeling. She’d had this feeling before, just not lately... She hadn’t had a hot flash since her doctor started her on hormone replacement therapy. He’d decided it was important to try to stop them since she had a tendency to pass out during the really bad ones.
Like now.
She looked around for somewhere to set down the candy canes. She needed to leave before she—
A wave of dizziness made it hard to see.
Not here, not here. She dropped the candy canes and hurried towards the side door. Blackness entered the edge of her vision, and she had to pause to blink it away. Afraid to take another step, she scanned the room for April. She couldn’t find her.
But she saw Cade.
And he, clearly, saw her. His face was serious as he stepped towards her. Natalie swayed, reaching a hand out to steady herself, but there was nothing there. The heat intensified, spreading through her chest and up her neck in a familiar, overwhelming feeling. She took a long, steadying breath through her nose, then stepped forward. One step. Two steps. Three.
The fourth wavered, but she was almost to the door of the prep room now. There was a couch in there. If she could just get some water and lie down...
Christmas music surged. Light and darkness warred.
Her fifth step was too much. The blackness and horrible heat took over. Her knees buckled.
Chapter 11
Cade
He was running now, dodging small kids and Christmas trees.
Something was wrong with Nat.
He was steps away when her legs gave out. With a burst of speed, he managed to get to her just before she fell backward, catching her in his arms.
A few people in the vicinity gasped or jumped in to help. He waved them off. Nat wouldn’t appreciate an audience. He did ask someone to find April Miller and send her to the prep room, though. As soon as possible.
With ease, he lifted Nat into his arms and carried her through the doorway, feet from where she’d fallen. He laid her on the couch, and knelt next to her, grabbing her wrist and placing two fingers over her pulse.
It was too fast. He needed to get her to a place that she could be properly monitored. She might be dehydrated, or have an underlying issue she wasn’t aware of. Various medical possibilities flitted across his mind—most not positive.
April ran through the door, “Natalie!”
“Do you know what might have happened? Has this happened before?” He was in full-on doctor mode and didn’t care that his words came out harsh. He needed to help, and he couldn’t help without more information.
“A couple of times, but her doctor said...” April bit her lip.
“What, April?”
April looked from him to Nat. “Her doctor said it’s normal with her condition. But he did something to help. Her heart rate gets too high during these episodes so they were trying to make sure they wouldn’t happen anymore.”
“Her condition?”
“I can’t say. I’m sorry, I promised.”
Cade swore; he could tell she wouldn’t be changing her mind with the way her jaw was set. “Fine. I’m taking her to the hospital.”
“The closest one is in Woodcastle,” April said, sounding concerned.
Cade was about to protest that he didn’t particularly care where it was, so long as there was one somewhere nearby, but he was interrupted by a groan.
“I’m assuming you caught me, then? Since I don’t have a splitting headache this time?” Nat’s voice was weak, her eyes closed, but she was talking.
Cade dropped to his knees by the couch. April inched around the armrest.
“Natalie,” he said, “your heart rate got too high, and you passed out. I’m going to take you to the hospital. April will stay with you while I get my car.”
She waved her hand dismissively, her eyes still closed. “You don’t need to. I’m fine.”
“Last time I checked, I was the one with the medical degree here.”
Nat laughed, sort of. It was more of a weak wheeze. “Yes, but I’m the one with the medical history.”
Cade stopped himself from picking her up and forcibly taking her to the hospital. “What is wrong with you?”
Another half-laugh. “Ouch. I think I’m pretty great but, please, tell me how you really feel.”
“You know what I mean. What’s wrong? Why did you pass out?”
She finally opened her eyes, blinking against the fluorescent lights. “I’m fine, Cade.”
“I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth, Nat.”
He saw a parade of emotions cross her face. Finally, resignation settled in and she sighed. “I have POF.”
“What?”
“POF. Premature Ovarian Failure. It essentially means—”
Cade blinked at her, various puzzle pieces falling into place. “I know what it means, Nat. So you had a hot flash? Are they usually this bad?”
“I’m on hormone replacement therapy to help. For some reason, my body doesn’t react well to the hot flashes. It’s rare, but it happens.”
Cade watched her avoid his gaze. “POF is rare.”
He saw her jaw tighten as she closed her eyes again. “Yup. I’m lucky.”
April was still standing to the side of the couch, looking like she wanted to help with something, but didn’t know what. She watched her friend with concern.
“How long ago were you diagnosed?”
Her jaw tightened again. “Four years. When I was twenty-three.” She started to try and sit up but had to stop partially through. “April, can you get me some water?”
April jumped into action, quickly walking to the fridge. “There aren’t any left, I’m going to run and check some of the booths.”
Nat nodded, then finished sitting up. She looked at him. “Go ahead,” she said.
“What?”
“Go ahead and ask all the questions your medical brain is sifting through.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her face was emotionless. “That isn’t a medical question.”
Cade narrowed his eyes at her. “Natalie. Is this the reason you left? This?” Anger boiled up inside him. Anger and disbelief.
Her shoulders sagged. “Yes. Partially.”
“Partially?”
She nodded, staring down at her hands.
When she didn’t say anything more, Cade stood, pacing towards the kitchenette on the other side of the room. “What happened, Nat? Please.”
She took a shuddering breath and glanced to the door. Then she sighed, as if giving into the fact that she couldn’t run from him. “My mom had just announced marriage number three. For a while, I think I’d been looking for an excuse to ruin what we had. I saw where we were headed, and I was terrified that I was going to ruin your life by somehow becoming my mother. Then when my bloodwork came back indicating that I had this... this... disease... I took the excuse. After all, I knew you wanted a family more than anything. I knew you wanted kids. And I couldn’t give that to you. I can’t have children, Cade. I’ll probably never be able to.”
“That’s not entirely true, Nat. You have to know that medical advancements are making things like IVF possible, even in your condition. Plus, do you really think that would make me turn my back on you? Love
you any less?” His heart was thudding in his chest, his emotions ranging from livid anger that she’d never told him this, and blossoming hope that this might be the only thing between them now.
“Yes. I did.”
“Then you didn’t know me like I thought you did.”
“Oh come on, that isn’t fair. We both know you wanted a family of your own. Want one.”
“Biological kids are not the only families, Nat!” His emotions swung towards anger. “Even just having you would have been enough. We would have been a family!”
Nat closed her eyes. Her skin was still too pale.
“I recognize that I didn’t handle things as well as I should have, but I did try to talk to you.”
“When, Nat? I think I would have remembered the conversation.” His voice rose.
“The night I found out. You came over for dinner, and I asked you about kids. I asked if you could ever see yourself in a marriage where there were none. I asked if someone not wanting kids would be a deal-breaker.” Her eyes cut into him, “You said you couldn’t see a marriage being complete without kids. You told me I was crazy for even asking.”
Cade’s mind spun, trying to place the conversation. Then he remembered. At least, vaguely. His car had been the target of a hit and run and he’d spent an hour with a police officer cataloging the incident. He’d been in a bad mood. Not that that was an excuse. “So you based the future of our relationship on one conversation?”
“I’m sorry, Cade. I said I didn’t handle it well, and I’m fully aware of that. But by the time I’d recovered from the emotional upheaval of the news, I’d already ruined what we had. I figured it was for the best. You wanted kids; I couldn’t give them to you. End of story.”
“And now, Nat? Why not tell me sometime in the last two weeks? You know I’m still interested.”
She rubbed the side of her head, looking exhausted. “My last four years haven’t been great in the dating department. I had more than a few relationships that either ghosted me or kindly broke up with me soon after I told them about my condition. I guess I’ve just come to accept that I’m damaged goods, and no man would ever want me. Plus, you have a life in Denver. One without me.”
April stepped back into the room, cutting off Cade’s response. He ground his teeth as she spoke. “I have water and a snack, then I think we should get you home. I’ll come back after and oversee the cleanup. You should rest.”
Nat came to her feet, not meeting Cade’s eyes. “That sounds great, thanks.”
Cade wanted to go after her, but something kept him glued to the spot.
“And thank you, Cade,” Nat whispered. Then she left.
Chapter 12
Natalie
Natalie sat at the check-in desk, staring unseeing at the computer screen. Her head hurt and her eyes were still puffy from all her crying the night before. For the first time in four years, she’d confronted her beliefs about herself. She’d told Cade the truth, yes, but she’d also been honest with herself. When she got down to the core of it, she’d felt unlovable even before the POF diagnosis.
But, in the middle of her self-honesty, somewhere between bemoaning ever breaking up with Cade and trying to decide if it had actually been the selfless thing she’d tried to convince herself that it was, she’d realized something. No, she hadn’t been given great examples of love through her parents, but she’d been given them through other relationships. April, Cade, Cade’s family, even her guests had shown her the acceptance and love that her family never had. Just because her own family was a mess, didn’t mean that she was one in her relationships.
Or, at least, that she had to continue being a mess in her relationships. If she’d learned anything over the last couple weeks, it was that she’d made a pretty big mess of things between her and Cade. She’d just been so worried about her innate nature—so concerned that she would turn into her mother—that she’d used her diagnosis as an excuse to ruin a good thing with Cade. She’d been using it as a wall ever since.
But the truth of it was that she was in love with Cade Davis and was going to find a way to convince him of that. She’d grovel if she needed to. Offer to make him cinnamon rolls for a year—a blatant bribe, but one she knew he’d accept. Whatever it took to convince him to give her another chance after she’d essentially taken a wrecking ball to their relationship. Tomorrow—after he’d spent Christmas with his family—she’d talk to him.
Which gave her approximately twenty-one hours to figure out what to say.
The front gate clanged shut. It was Christmas morning and all of her residents were gone for the day. Who would be back?
Cade’s form filled the doorway as the bell above the door jingled. Natalie fought a terrified blush. He wasn’t supposed to be here. What about her twenty-one hours?!
“Why aren’t you at your parent’s house?” It was all she could say with the way her throat was closing up.
“I went over early to watch the little kids open presents. I’ll go back later.”
“Oh?” She picked up a pen and tapped it against the desk, essentially announcing to him that she was nervous.
He stepped up to the counter, hands in his pockets and his hair mussed—as if he’d been running his hands through it. “I have some things I would like to say.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay...” So did she, but she was supposed to have had twenty-one hours!
“First, I am not happy with you. In fact, I’m mad.”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t have a chance to respond as he stepped closer.
“You completely disregarded my feelings and acted in fear four years ago. But,” he raised a hand to ward off her retort, “I recognize I should have done things differently too. Starting with calling you every day until you talked to me.” He took a deep breath, meeting her eyes with a fire that could have melted all the snow off the B&B. “Secondly, I am still in love with you.”
Her heart stuttered to a stop, then jumped back to action at double speed. Cade leaned over the counter, his arms steadying him as he looked into her eyes. “Thirdly, your inability to have children doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry I ever did anything to make you think it might have. I want you, Natalie Taylor. You and whatever family we create together.”
A stinging started at the back of her eyes. She blinked and tried to focus on Cade and his words. Was she dreaming? After four years, this sort of moment shouldn’t be possible.
Slowly, deliberately, Cade walked around the counter and pulled Natalie to her feet. The hairs on her arms lifted at the proximity, and her knees seemed unwilling to hold her weight.
“Are you going to say anything?” he asked, his voice low. A hint of uncertainty tinged the words.
“I’m sorry.”
He shook his head with a small smile.
She tried again, throwing her twenty-one hours out the window. “I... love you, too.” The words were barely audible.
His smile grew; his hands came up to cup her jaw. “Say it again.”
Her voice was stronger this time, “I love you, Cade.”
He pulled her towards him at the same moment that she grabbed the edge of his coat and pulled him to her. They met in the middle, lips colliding in a long-overdue kiss. His hands pushed their way through her hair, ran down her shoulders, then settled at the small of her back, pulling her as close as possible. Fire chased itself around her body, and she pulled back just long enough to take a breath.
“Can I take you on a date?” He asked, then kissed her again. “A real one, this time.”
“I don’t know...” She teased, her hands released his coat just long enough to loop around his neck.
His eyes narrowed as he looked down at her. He covered her mouth with his again, murmuring against her lips “does this convince you?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
Epilogue
Natalie
“Will you be in town next week for Valentine’s Day? Or am I coming to you?” The phone w
as between her shoulder and ear while she logged out of her computer. Already, the B&B was booked for the week in question.
“I was planning on coming down, but could I come a little early?” Cade asked.
“No, I’d hate to see you earlier than expected. That would be horrible,” Natalie grinned. “When and for how long do I get you?”
“Now.” But his voice didn’t come from the phone, it came from the doorway.
The phone almost dropped from her shoulder as she straightened up. “Cade.”
“Hi.” His grin was almost as wide as hers as he crossed the entry to wrap his arms around her, kissing her like it had been two years, rather than two weeks since they last saw each other.
“And in regards to your second question, I was thinking forever,” he said.
She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. Forever?
“I got a job at the hospital in Woodcastle. I start next week,” he watched her as if waiting for her reaction.
She didn’t think it was possible for her smile to get any wider, but it defied all expectations.
“You’re moving? For me?” That anyone would put her first in such a way was unbelievable.
“No, actually, I did it for me. I need more time than phone dates and the occasional long weekend. I want you always.”
“I approve of your selfish motivations.”
“I’d hoped you would.”
Natalie pressed her lips together to stop her smile from breaking her face. She leaned in for another kiss, but Cade stopped her. “There’s one more thing.”
He grabbed both her hands, pulling her out the front door. It was still cold enough that snow blanketed the ground in a fine layer of white snow which glistened in the setting sun, but her eyes skipped past this. In the small front courtyard were dozens of photos strung up on lines of lights. She walked closer. It was them; her and Cade. Pictures from their dating years plus pictures from the last six weeks. Her visits to Denver, his to Greenbank. Family dinners, double dates, the New Year’s ball in Woodcastle he’d taken her to.
Christmas In Love: A Greenbank Holiday Romance (Greenbank Holiday Romances Book 1) Page 8
