by Cora Kenborn
“Addie, look at me.” I opened my eyes, and my heart slammed against my chest as Zep smiled down at me.
Look at me.
I obliged, looking at the same smile he gave me while whispering those same words in the truck cab thirteen years ago.
“There’s my girl.”
I never looked away again. Not even when he sank into me inch by agonizing inch.
“Oh God!” I groaned. I’d forgotten how much he was to take. “Slow, Zep…”
Gritting his teeth, he dropped his forehead. “I’m trying, but you feel like fucking home.”
A lot of heavy breathing and curses later, Zep gripped my ass and warned me before driving the final few inches inside me, working his hips until he was fully embedded.
“Ah!” I cried out, my body bending to his will.
“Mine, Addie,” Zep growled, giving me only a moment to adjust to his possession. “You’re mine.” Pulling out excruciatingly slow, he kissed me, soft at first, and then claiming my tongue in the same cadence that his body reclaimed me. “Every part of you is mine.” Establishing a steady rhythm, he locked eyes with me again, his voice hoarse as his pleasure built. “Tell me.”
“I’m yours,” I promised, the heat climbing to an intolerable level.
“Tell me you’ve always been mine.” Sweat broke out on his forehead, plastering his dark hair to his face as he held himself back, making love to me the way I needed him to.
I could give him what he wanted because it was the truth. “Always yours. I never stopped. Zep.” He played me perfectly, loving me with self-assured strokes and pushing me over the edge until I splintered into a thousand irreparable pieces.
“Fuck!” he roared as I shook. “I can’t last when you go off. One more, baby,” he demanded, increasing his pace as he chased his own release. “I’m not coming without you.”
No one ever talked to me the way Zephirin LeBlanc did. Not at seventeen years old, and not now. One word from him had the power to affect me more than anything else. His voice could anger me, shock me, elate me, devastate me, or cripple me.
But at this moment, his voice had the power to command me, and I lost myself for a second time. With a scream from me and a guttural groan from him, we came together, speaking each other’s names in a shared breath.
My sex life with Zep had always been rushed and frantic, but for the first time since the bright lights of the football field shined through the windshield of the truck cab, nothing was hurried.
It felt right.
Grabbing me around my waist, Zep held me tightly against his chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our words, when they came, were said both simultaneously and unprompted.
“I love you.”
81
Yes
Adelaide
Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana
“Holy shit, that’s a lot of crap.” Dressed in jeans and a long-sleeve white T-shirt that boasted “Resting Grinch Face” across the chest, Savannah stood in the middle of Babs’ living room and surveyed the damage.
To say it was a lot of crap was an understatement. The room looked like an explosion of wrapping paper and bows. The modest Christmas we’d all promised each other had somehow turned into, “Let’s buy out QVC and shut the fucker down.”
“Language, Savannah,” Mama warned. Sav grimaced and bit her lip, and I had to hold back a snort. My sister would swear like a sailor in front of anyone else and not think twice, but one word from Marianne Dubois had her swallowing her own tongue.
In the spirit of Christmas, I decided to save my sister’s life by creating a diversion. Picking up a pair of tiny bedazzled tennis shoes, I tossed her a smirk and swung them around by the laces. “What happened to not going overboard on Charlee?”
Lifting her chin, Savannah stared at the swinging shoes before hauling ass across the room and snatching them out of my hand. “It’s never too early to learn how to accessorize.” she huffed, tucking them back in the box along with the matching headband and onesie that proudly announced, “My Aunt Kicks Ass”. “Besides, it’s cruel and unusual punishment to expect me not to spoil my only niece at Christmas.”
Rolling my eyes, I glanced across the room at Mama who was already busy shoving discarded wrapping paper into a garbage bag. “Mama? A little help?”
“Don’t look at me.” Avoiding my gaze, she tied off the full plastic bag. “I have fifteen more for her in the car.”
It wasn’t like I had any room to cast stones. Zep and I had agreed not to be the kind of parents who bought extravagant gifts for an infant who didn’t give a rat’s ass about them. We’d even gone so far as to threaten the whole family with bodily harm if they went against our wishes. However, not only did Zep and I go behind each other’s back and buy out the entire left side of Walmart, but our families also gave us a “holly jolly up-yours” and bought so much shit we’d have to rent a U-haul to get everything back to New Orleans. I couldn’t take a step without kicking over a doll, a learning laptop, or a toy from the depths of hell that made a high-pitched squeaking noise every time I stepped on it.
And did my child even give a shit during all this?
No. She’d spent the past three hours curled up in her bouncy chair, happily chewing on her fist.
As the day rolled into evening, the Dubois gift-giving extravaganza continued. By the end of it, we were all exhausted, spoiled, and according to the loot all around us, broke as hell. Savannah gave Pope a photo album containing pictures that turned his face the color of a fire hydrant, and when everyone asked to see it, he yelled out a “no” loud enough to send Charlee into a screaming fit.
I kept my mouth shut. The bitch dragged me to her self-proclaimed “brilliant idea” of a present for her brand new husband under false pretenses. I had no desire to see the final product.
Incidentally, boudoir is a very important word to be left out of the phrase, “Come with me to my photo shoot.”
“I wait long enough,” Babs announced, digging into one of the six gifts tucked beside her recliner. It took her all of ten seconds to unwrap a bottle of her favorite Russian vodka, holding it up as if it were a piece of fine jewelry. “How you know, son? Is just what I want.”
“Mom, you sent everyone a text with a picture and directions as to where to buy it,” Daddy said with a laugh.
He wasn’t kidding. During Thanksgiving, everyone’s phone pinged simultaneously as Mama served the pumpkin pie. Not only had Babs sent everyone an itemized list complete with a vodka hierarchy, but she’d also included links, shopping addresses, and her frequent buyer card number so she could accrue the points.
As expected, by the time she’d finished opening all the gifts, six bottles of vodka lay nestled in her lap, and she cradled them all as if they were her newborn grandchildren.
“Babs, you have six bottles,” I noted, doing a quick inventory.
“So?”
“So, Pope and Sav gave you one, Zep and I gave you one, Mama and Daddy, Bam, and then Duck. Where did the sixth bottle come from?”
Babs grinned, her teeth slightly slipping from her gums as she unscrewed the top of the one closest to her and took a long drink. “I buy just in case everyone screw pooch. I love, but I no trust.”
As my grandmother continued to get plowed, a lull seemed to settle in for the rest of us, giving a much-needed break to the holiday insanity. A break that lasted all of a few minutes when something that sounded like a dying sheep scared the shit out of everyone.
“Nobody move!” Savannah yelled, holding her arms out like a demented crossing guard. “Kevin’s missing.” Tears brimmed her eyes as she frantically scanned the room for any sign of her beloved pig.
No two words in the English language had more power to ruin Christmas. Kevin was as much of Savannah’s baby as Charlee was mine.
“No, he’s not.” Strolling in from the kitchen, gumming what I assumed used to be a piece of gator jerky. Duck grinned with a very ashamed looking Kevin Junior Bacon Cheeseburg
er tucked under his arm. “He’s right here.”
Savannah’s face morphed from worried to horrified. “What the fuck is he wearing?”
“You like it? I bought it for the little dirt digger myself.”
She crossed her arms and frowned as she read. “My other ride is a hog?”
Shoving the last bit of jerky in his mouth, he turned a grunting Kevin around and examined the embroidered vest “It’s cool, huh? Get it? His other ride is a hog? It means he’s stickin’ it to—”
Holding up her hands, Savannah waved them in his face. “I get it! I get it! For the love of…” She trailed off, tossing another disgusted glare at Kevin’s new vest, complete with a detailed screen print of fornicating pigs on the back. “Just do me a favor and never reproduce, okay?”
“No problem, Sav,” he assured her, pulling another piece of gator jerky out of his pocket. “Don’t much like vegetables anyway.”
Savannah rolled her eyes, opening her mouth for what I had no doubt was one hell of an impressive come back when a sudden rustling under a pile of wrapping paper caught her attention. “Wait,” she said, pointing to the floor. “If he’s got Kevin, then what’s that?”
“Damn it, how’d she get out?” Appearing from the hallway where he’d disappeared to stash his Christmas present, Pope dove headfirst after the quickly moving mass, chasing it as it squealed and ran circles around Savannah’s legs.
“She? Who’s she, and what the hell is wet against my ankles?”
Finally wrapping his arms around the squirming pink escapee, he held it up to Savannah’s face and grinned. “She is Taylor. This was supposed to be my present to you for later, but I guess she couldn’t wait.”
“Oh my God, you bought me another pig?” Squealing, Savannah grabbed the tiny pig out of his hands and cuddled it against her chest.
“Your parents hid her for me until now. I figured since Kevin is sharing you with me, the least I could do was return the favor. Merry Christmas, babe.”
“Oh, she’s perfect! I love her!” Turning around, she held the much smaller pig up to Kevin, who still looked pissed off as he sat tucked under Duck’s arm. “Kevin, look! You have a girlfriend! She’s cuddly and sweet, and her name is…” The lovefest abruptly ended and the megawatt smile Savannah sported turned into a scowl. “Wait, did you call her Taylor?”
Uh-oh.
Inching my ass backward, I slid up the front of the couch until I was all but sitting on Zep’s lap. A low laugh rumbled in his throat as he pushed me off his lap onto the cushion beside him. “You’re on your own, Dubois. I’m not going down for this.”
Pope shrugged. “Addie suggested Taylor Swift Jr. She said you’d love it. Something about it matching Kevin’s name.”
Judas.
I shot Pope a huge fuck you look, then gave Savannah my most innocent smile, praying the presence of witnesses would deter her from homicide. “Mary Krismas?”
I’d never actually seen smoke come out of someone’s ears until now. Savannah’s head spun around, and just as she lunged for my throat, Mama’s soft but stern voice stopped her mid-throttle.
“No killing your sister on Jesus’s birthday, Savannah Lynn.”
As I shot her a smug grin, she glared at me, mouthing the words, “You’re dead.”
Deciding to give her time to cool off, I passed Charlee off to Mama and motioned for Zep to follow me over to the Christmas tree where I bent down and pulled a box out from behind it. I’d specifically waited until now to give Zep his present. Not that it was anything spectacular, but it was private, and I wasn’t too keen on having an audience.
“Here,” I said, placing it in his hand.
“What did you do?”
“Just open it.”
The second I said the words, he turned into a giant kid, ripping into the paper with reckless abandon. Tearing the box to shreds, he stared inside, his goofy smile fading.
My heart plummeted to my feet.
He hates it.
“It’s just a stupid gag gift, Zep. It’s no big deal. I can take it back.” Just as I reached for the box, he jerked it away from my grasp.
“It’s not stupid, and it is a big deal. Everything you give me is important, Addie. Holding it up, he twirled it in his fingers. “A snorkel?”
“A little reminder of the night that changed our lives. I believe this little contraption here led to that one over there.” Forcing a laugh, I pointed across the room where Mama snuggled a sleeping Charlee to her chest.
All commotion in the room stopped. I could feel every eye on us, but I didn’t care.
Zep swallowed hard, his eyes bouncing from where Daddy bent over Mama with his chin resting on the top of her head to the floor where Pope and Savannah lovingly chased Kevin and Taylor across the carpet. “I love it,” he said, forcing a smile. “It’s a very thoughtful gift.”
I wasn’t like my sister. Putting my feelings out there for the world to see was a new concept for me, and having them rejected felt like a knife twisting in my heart. “Like I said, I can take it back,” I mumbled, turning away.
Zep grabbed my arm. “That’s not it, Addie. It’s just that what I want, you can’t buy.”
“Zep—”
“I promised myself I wouldn’t push you so soon after Charlee’s birth, but damn it, Addie, this doesn’t feel right. I want Charlee to have what you had. I want to have what your parents have, and what Babs and your Pappy had.”
Taken aback by his intimate words, I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Anticipating my usual response, Zep lowered his eyes, sighing in defeat and running his hand across his beard.
“Damn it, I didn’t mean to—”
“Ask me again.”
Pale blue eyes shot up in disbelief, scanning my face for a punchline. “Don’t fuck with me, Addie. It’s Christmas.”
But there was no punchline. I was dead serious.
Leaning up on my toes, I cupped his cheek and repeated myself, this time with more conviction. “Ask me again.”
Zep stood motionless, and then a slow heat brewed in his eyes as he reached for my hand and dropped to one knee. Taking a deep breath, the corner of his mouth broke into a half-smile as he cleared his throat. “Addie, I feel like I’ve been asking you this question my whole life. I asked you a dozen times in my head when you were just a memory, and then I asked you again a hundred more because I wanted to hold on too tightly. You scare me in the best kind of way, Dubois. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life except losing you. Whatever you say, it won’t matter to me, because I’ll never give up. I’ll never give you up. But, what the hell, let’s give this one more go for old time’s sake.” He squeezed my hand, his eyes filled with nothing but love as he repeated the words he’d said to me for months. “Adelaide Dubois, will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He glanced up on an exhale, his eyes widening as his mouth dropped open in shock.
With tears spilling down my cheeks, all I could do was nod. Zep let out a loud whoop and jumped up from the floor. Grabbing me around the waist, he kissed me hard as an unexpected round of applause and cheers filled the room. By the time he finally set me on my feet, I was breathless and dizzy.
Reluctantly pulling away, he pressed our noses together and cradled the back of my head. “You sure know how to keep a man on his toes, don’t you?”
“Think you can handle me for the next fifty years?”
“No.” He winked, pulling me closer. “But I sure as hell can handle you forever.”
His words hung in the air, and even though seven pairs of eyes looked on, the moment belonged to just us. It seemed to last forever, and I’d never seen Zep happier. I’d never been happier.
“Where ring?” Babs called out, breaking the moment. “Dis why you have baby, Mister Clam Digger. You never prepared for spermtaneous situation.” Every eye turned toward my grandmother, a bottle of vodka in one hand and my baby in the other.
Who the hell passed my daugh
ter off to my intoxicated grandmother?
Daddy didn’t miss a beat, “Spontaneous, Mom.”
Rolling her eyes, Babs glanced down at the wiggling baby in her arms and winked. “They think GrandBabs crazy. Crazy like fox. I teach, you learn.” Wiping Charlee’s chin, she popped out her teeth and grinned. “First lesson, spit on floor, not on face.”
Before I could move, Savannah dropped Taylor and scooped Charlee out of her lap. “Okay, that’s enough baby bonding for today.”
Zep laughed, tilting my chin back toward him. “She’s wrong this time, you know.”
“Babs? About what?”
“I came prepared.” Zep released me, and I watched breathlessly as he dove his hand into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
But it wasn’t just any engagement ring. It was the engagement ring. The simple solitaire diamond he’d nervously held up outside DuBlanc. The same ring he offered to do right by me when he found out he was going to be a father. The same modest, beautiful ring I turned down so many times I’d lost count.
“You’ve carried that thing around with you?”
He shrugged, rolling the band between his finger and thumb. “I wanted to be ready in case you said yes the fortieth time I asked.” Glancing from the ring to my face, Zep lifted an eyebrow in a silent question, and I simply nodded.
It’d taken me thirteen years, but I was more than ready.
Taking my left hand, he slipped the simple ring on the third finger, and I stared at it in awe. Not because it was a jaw-dropping diamond like Savvy’s. Once upon a time, material things like that mattered to me, but Zep changed that.
He changed me.
The size of a diamond never equaled the size of a man’s heart. I found that out the hard way. To anyone else, this simple one-carat ring seemed small, but to me, it was as enormous as the integrity of the man who gave it to me. I never felt this fierce amount of pride in wearing Roland’s ring. It always felt garish and heavy, a reminder of the shackles he’d placed on me. However, for the first time in my life, I felt free and protected at the same time. Loved beyond my worth and confident without a shadow of a doubt that I’d proudly carry the LeBlanc name for the rest of my life.
