Mom and Nira came to graduation. They were worried about me, but didn’t stay long. Nira keeps a busy schedule, and Mom goes with her to all her events.
After my weekly visit with the team doctor, I go to see Mindy in the training room.
“I am almost back to my normal weight.” I hand Mindy the slip of paper with the doctor’s notes.
“That’s great, Bobby.” Mindy smiles. After I got out of the hospital, she has been checking in with me even more than before. But I’m doing what I need to. Motivated to keep playing. Motivated to stay the hell out of the hospital. Motivated to heal.
“They checked out my heart again. Doctor’s not worried. Just says keep it up.”
“That’s good news. Dr. Rogers says you’ve been meetin’ with him twice a week now. You and your dad made arrangements for the recovery center.” Mindy reads over the notes. “You feelin’ up to the trip, tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” I nod, nerves in my stomach. She told me I couldn’t play if I wasn’t in a good place. But I am.
“Any vomiting lately?”
“Nope.” And it’s true. “Honest.” I sigh. “It’s a lot, but I’m doin’ it.”
“I’m proud of you.” She takes a sip of her coffee.
I settle into the chair next to her. In a way, I look forward to our little check-ins. I don’t resent her for checking up on me anymore. I’m just thankful she’s here to help. It’s okay to need help. I’m learning that.
“I know I scared everyone. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I just–” I look down at my shoes. “Bein’ in the hospital spoke loud to me. I don’t ever wanna go back there. I don’t ever wanna dip that low.” I look at her desk. “Do you know other athletes that have gone through this?”
“Yes.” Mindy doesn’t miss a beat.
“Do they get better?” I’m afraid to ask, but I feel like I have to know. “Will I be able to get over this?”
She nods. “There’s no doubt in my mind. You want to get better. You’re gettin’ the help that you need. And you’re already improving.” She puts her hand on my shoulder. “Remember that you can fight this. You just keep on fightin’.” Her eyes are kind, full of the care I’ve experienced with everything big and small over the last five years.
“I’m gonna miss you when the post-season is over, Mindy.” I stand and give her a hug. “I really appreciate you savin’ my life. Bein’ there for me through all the ups and downs.”
“You’ll have to come back someday. After you live all those dreams.” She winks. “Get some good sleep tonight. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
I head to my car. I have bags to pack. Then, on the road again.
Everything is going awesome. We did well in Regionals and Super Regionals. Better than last year. Now we are heading to The College World Series, in Omaha.
We pile into Coach Conner’s hotel room to watch the MLB Draft. It’s like the best TV marathon.
My phone buzzes with an unknown number. I step into the hall.
“This is Bobby Anderson.” My heart is racing wondering if this is the call I’ve been waiting for.
“Hey Bobby, this is Zayne Bicksbee, regional scout.”
“Oh, hello, Mr. Bicksbee. What can I do for you?” My head spins. This is exactly who I wanted it to be.
“We are thinking about signing you in the third round if you’d sign for–” He gives me a number and I can’t believe my ears. More than what I was expecting. Woulda signed for half that.
“Yes, sir.” I don’t hesitate. Cody was right. It’s like a huge drop on a rollercoaster.
“Thank you for your time.”
“Thank you, Mr. Bicksbee.” I swallow down my shock as I click off the phone. I’m feeling weak and lightheaded as I sink down the wall to hug my knees. My hand slips under my shirt to find my cross necklace, rubbing my thumb over the baseball lines etched into the metal.
Hey Cody, I don’t know if this was you or not, but if it was, thank you. I feel it’s only right to offer a prayer while I try to breathe.
“Oh, hey.” Lexie’s voice registers in my ears and I look up. She sits her adorable little ass next to me.
“They want me. They really want me.” I rub my forehead. “I just got off the phone with a regional scout.”
“Of course they do, love.” She brings me in for one of the sweetest kisses we’ve ever shared. “I knew they would.”
After several minutes of sitting in the hall to calm my nerves, we go back into Coach’s room.
“Gimme the Doritos, will ya?” Zac reaches from behind the couch. The bag crinkles and he crunches them with his mouth wide open.
“Shut it, I’m tryin’ to hear.” Ethan eyes Zac.
“Shhhh–” Briar puts his finger over Zac’s lips, then points to the screen. “Ladies and Gentlemen, Bobby Anderson.” Briar sounds like one of those sports commentators. I’m about to give him shit, but then I look at the TV.
My picture. Holy hell. My picture.
“The Los Angeles Angels select Bobby Anderson.”
The words don’t quite register. Really? Is this really happening? My name just got called. Mr. Bicksbee wasn’t kidding.
A shiver goes through me as my stats flash on the screen. Los Angeles Angels…. I can’t believe my eyes.
“Congratulations, baby.” Lexie’s lips are on mine for several heartbeats. It warms my heart that she’s sitting right here with me.
“Well, look at that. You did it.” Zac puts his hand on my shoulder.
“Of course he did.” Briar starts jumping and hollering. I stand up. Everyone hugs me and pats me on my back. My heart soars with every kind of excitement there is.
Cody’s face flashes in my mind. There’s that tremor. I feel it. Here and now, he’s close.
“I knew you could do it. I knew you could make it.”
Briar gets a call. Before the night is over, he’s drafted by the New York Mets.
“We did it.” I give him a huge hug.
“I’ll just have to see you again on the field.” He smiles.
“I look forward to that.”
47
LEXIE
My flip flops slap against the stone floor in the entryway of Hawthorne Estate, a home that has never really been mine. Every cell in my body wants me to turn tail and run, but I plant my feet harder into the ground.
I have to do this, for myself.
“Oh hey, baby girl.” Dad steps out of his office. “What are you doin’ here?”
“Can we go to Shakey’s?” My heart patters in my chest, knowing I haven’t asked to go there with him since I was a kid. I don’t want to talk here. I need to be somewhere else. Somewhere that Mom can’t overhear.
“Is that you, Lexie?” Mom steps onto the landing, phone to her ear. “What? Did you forget somethin’ for that art studio the Anderson kid was settin’ up for you at Christmastime?” Her scorn is evident in her tone as she puts weird emphasis on the word studio.
My teeth grind in my mouth. The Anderson kid. Jesus, he has a name. I look at Dad. In all these years I haven’t asked for much, hardly anything. But I’m asking now, completely unsure what I will do if he says no. “Please?”
“I’ll get my coat.”
His driver pulls the Cadillac around, and we ride in the backseat together. “Didn’t get to talk to you much at Christmastime, darlin’. How you been?”
Falling apart.
“Just finishin’ up with baseball post-season.”
“Did you get that interview set up with Aberdine?”
A few weeks ago I got an email from him about an opening in one of the minor league baseball teams in Florida. He’d been able to pull some strings, through his connections, to get me a job down there.
“No, um, I have other plans.” This is harder than I want it to be. I swallow, wishing to get it all over with. Once I tell him I’m leaving, he can make whatever plans he needs to, and I can wash my hands of this life.
“Other plans? Still baseball right? Well,
I do know a few people over in Memphis. I’m sure we could arrange you workin’ one of their teams. Maybe in the collegiate level.”
“Dad, I don’t want to do athletic trainin’.”
“What do you mean?” His face falls. “We just put all that toward your education, sugar.”
“And you didn’t have to. Mom insisted I finish my degree, and I have. You don’t have to pay for or connect me with anyone else.”
The words fill the air between us for several heartbeats while I wait for what he may say. Goosebumps sprinkle my arms. I scratch and rub them, trying to give these nerves something better to do than itch.
“How long you felt this way?”
There it is. That disappointment. The oh, Lexie, of course you have to go into sports medicine...we won’t have it any other way. Only, that’s not what he says. “Is it because of the accident?”
“Cody’s or Bobby’s?” It’s strange that that question is relevant. How did I end up dating two guys that are so similar?
“I meant Cody’s. What happened to Bobby?”
“Didn’t you see the news?” After the hospital, it made the front page in several papers. “He had a heatstroke at a game.”
“Is he alright?” Dad actually sounds concerned.
“Yeah, he’s doin’ okay now.”
“I didn’t even hear about it,” he takes a moment to digest the information. The driver parks at Shakey’s, and we go inside. I look for Mama Jones, but she must be off.
“Large hot fudge sundae, for my girl.” Dad looks at me for approval, and I nod. “A vanilla shake and a large onion ring.” He pays, and we wait at the counter until the food comes out, then take a table in the back, beside the jukebox.
“Is wanting to quit athletic training about Cody, though? Because the more people I talk to, the more say that staying on with your plans is vital, even after losing someone close to you.”
“It’s not because of the accident.” I stir the hot fudge down the sides of my sundae cup. After a moment, I clench my hands together mustering up enough courage to tell him more. “For a long time, I’ve wanted to go to art school. And life is teaching me that all we can live for is today. Cody never got to live his dreams. But Daddy, if I have anythin’ to say about it, I’m gonna live mine. You can sell the beach house or rent it out, or whatever you want to do. But I’m not going to put a hold on what I need any more.”
“The beach house?” He wrinkles his brow. “You could’ve sold that at any point, darlin’.” He sips his shake. “It’s in your name. Remember when we went to sign all the paperwork?”
“What?” I feel stupid. Memories of that day come to mind, with the piles of paperwork. I remember signing it. But then Mom took me out and told me that none of it belonged to me. She said it was all just a formality to sign the forms so I could legally live there as my own landlord.
I believed her.
Dammit.
“Oh, yes. Beach house belongs to you. Always has.”
“But I don’t understand. Mom said that you couldn’t sell it because you’d lose out on too much profit. She told me I had to stay there. Told me I had to finish my degree.”
“Oh, no, darlin’. It’s always been yours. I have twenty-three properties in Hilton Head. Just bought this one in Suncastle so you and Cody didn’t have far to go for class.” He shakes his head. “Wasn’t about the investment so much as takin’ care of you. The value has increased quite a bit over the years. You’re welcome to use that money however you wish. I wasn’t going to leave you to fend for yourself after college.” He takes another sip. “You didn’t think that, did you? What’s the point of all this money if I don’t take care of my own?”
“But I’m not your own,” I say it out loud for the first time.
Something changes in his face, and he looks at me for a long while, setting his cup on the red shimmering diner table. “You’ve always been my baby girl.” He sets his hand on mine. “Have I ever done anythin’ to make you think otherwise?”
I think about growing up. He often worked, and I rarely saw him. After I found out about my true parentage, I thought it had to do with not wanting to be around me. But maybe, he was just busy with work. I blink, dumbfounded at the revelation. He considers me his?
“But Mom slept with Mr. Checketts.”
He scoffs. “I am well aware of when and who your mother has slept with. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you as my own.” He reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. “Lexie, you matter to me. Who was there when you took your first steps? Not Mr. Checketts. Me. Who stayed up until 3 a.m. making that pickle costume you had to have for Halloween when you were seven? Mr. Checketts? No, it was me. Who held your hand all night when you had pneumonia and couldn’t sleep alone? Who remembers the name of your favorite stuffed animal? Daisy is still up in your room, by the way. You may wanna grab her before you go and leave South Carolina for good.”
There’s a knot in my throat.
“Lexie, darlin’, your happiness matters to me. And if you wanna become an artist, do it. Sell the beach house. Move wherever you want to live.” He lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry you worried about this, baby girl.”
His eyes are kind, and I see the man I’ve barely known all these years. The one I assumed didn’t want me. I try to say something but I can’t. Tears pool in my eyes.
“Your mother has made a lot of choices over the years. She has her own unique relationship with the truth. I am not surprised she told you things to make you stick around. Has nothin’ to do with Mr. Checketts or the other affairs she’s had.”
Other affairs? My chest tightens. “You mean, you knew and still wanted to keep me?” I always thought I was just an accident. A mistake. For both of them.
“I’d been beggin’ her to have another little one. I had planned on it bein’ mine, but when she finally got pregnant, I was just as overjoyed to have my last baby, like I knew you were waitin’ to join our family and I wasn’t at peace until you were here.”
I drop my spoon. “So no part of you thought I should just be thrown out of your life?”
“Thrown out of my life? Hell, no.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Had no idea you worried about this.” He leans closer to me. “Believe me when I say that I love havin’ you in my life. You have a place in my heart as if you were my blood. Because to me, Lexie, you are.”
A new feeling spreads through my chest. Belonging. I feel like I belong.
48
BOBBY
“That was so amazin’!” I relax into the passenger seat of Lexie’s parked car after we get back from Omaha.
“What a way to finish your college career.” She smiles wide, killing the ignition in the parking spot at my apartment.
“You wanna come in?” I try not to get my hopes up, but there’s nothing I want more than to spend some time with her.
“We haven’t talked about us much.” She scratches her nose.
“You’ve been incredibly supportive and patient with me.” I think about the craziness of the hospital and life afterward. “I’ve been workin’ on myself a lot. Tryin’ to get over all my shit. I am so sorry for what I’ve put you through.”
“You don’t have to be.” She looks at me for a long time. “When are you startin’ at the recovery center?”
“Next week.” Time has really flown by. I can hardly believe I’m already here. “I’ll be there for a month.”
“Can I come visit you there?”
“I’d like that.”
On my couch, it’s just like how we sat the first time she came over. “There’s more I need to tell you,” I swallow. “I’ve been keepin’ so much from you. None of it was right. When you wanted to talk, I pushed you away. It was wrong of me, too.”
“You don’t need to apologize any more.” She raises her eyebrows, her knee brushing against my thigh.
“But I do.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to cause you any more pain, so I need to tell you the rest of the sto
ry.”
I tell her everything I remember about the night that Cody came to see me. The night he died.
“You weren’t a sick joke to either one of us. I had a crush on you before Cody asked you out. But he didn’t know that. He was sincerely tryin’ to be straight with you. And I know you meant the world to him.” I laugh because God, it feels good to say the whole thing. No more secrets. Nothing between us anymore. “He loved you, Lexie. He told me so himself, even that night.”
“He did?” Her voice is choked up.
“He did.” I put my fingers on her chin and bring her close to my lips, the closeness of everything we’ve both missed. “He loved you, Lex. I promise I’m not makin’ this up.” I take a deep breath, soaking in how she’s receiving my story, my truth. “I think if there hadn’t been the accident, he would’ve told you all this. And I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to tell you until now. Because I wanted to. I really did, but it felt like I was betrayin’ him. It’s stupid, I know–”
“It’s not stupid, Bobby.” Her lips curl up in a smile. “It’s beautifully loyal.”
“I sunk really low right after the accident. I’ve never been able to talk about it. Then I realized how wrong I was to keep it all from you.”
“Of course you sunk low.” She kisses me. “It breaks my heart that you and Cody coulda had a life together.” She brings her head to mine. “I’m sad you lost your love.”
“But I didn’t.” I bite my lip. “I’ve always wanted to be with you. I don’t know what woulda happened with me and Cody.” I kiss her, my tongue melting into her lips. “But I know what’s happenin’ with me and you. My love is right here.” I take her knuckles and kiss each one. “And I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.”
“We don’t know how to do this life thing, do we?”
A Game Like Ours: Suncastle College Book One Page 36
