He had been imagining kissing Amelia for the last two years, had imagined seizing any opportunity to savor her berry lips. But none of his daydreams compared to this moment- these circumstances. He knew; however, he wouldn’t resist this desire to offer comfort. And so, with a gentleness he didn’t know he possessed, Brand pulled her to his chest, his gaze never leaving hers as he pressed the softest whisper of a kiss to her lips.
“Amelia.” Her name tasted sweet on his tongue. He embraced her more fully, his lips finding hers once more.
His kiss was careful- almost reverent and Amelia had never felt so cherished in all her life. It wasn’t a lover’s kiss filled with passion, but was instead…worshipful. Her surprise was so complete, she was remiss in fully returning his affection. But Brand was not discouraged. His lips left hers to travel across her cheek toward her jaw, finally pressing a moist kiss just below her ear. She heard him inhale deeply before backing away to meet her gaze. Amelia was dumbfounded. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined she would be held in the arms of Brand Callahan while he tenderly kissed her.
“I know you’ve been through a lot, honey, more than I know.” He sucked in a breath before continuing. “But, honey, you can’t go home. There’s no way I can let you go back, even if Harm is gone.” Brand’s words came out quickly, jumbled. Amelia struggled to clear her mind after being such a compliant recipient of his caresses. What was he trying to say?
“Darlin’, I want to take you home. But you’re gonna have to marry me first.” He stopped then, waiting, a look of nervous anticipation on his face.
Marry him? Marry Brand! Amelia’s head was swimming. Her initial reaction was elation-marrying Brand would be her every dream coming true.
But why was he doing this? Did he own a secret love for her? No, she didn’t believe that, couldn’t believe that. Then what? She thought of Brand standing over Harmon, his fists delivering powerful blows.
He was still trying to save her.
Tears welled in her eyes once more. Of course. The only reason Brand Callahan would propose to Amelia McAlister… was pity.
Brand watched as the emotions played across Amelia’s beautiful face. First wonder, then hope, and finally doubt and despair. His own emotions mirrored hers and he chastised himself for playing his hand too soon. She had been through a traumatic experience that night. He had no right to plague her with such a question. But he had to-didn’t he? There was no solution he could figure other than marriage.
Brand couldn’t face an eventuality that found him leaving her. His mind quickly ran through a series of alternatives. Amy? Pastor Simmons? Miss Ellie? He shook his head. No! He couldn’t. Not even leaving her with Miss Ellie would satisfy his desire to care for her…Who was he kidding-it wasn’t only his desire to care for her, it was plain desire that kept his stomach churning as he shunned any thought of leaving her.
Moments passed, and still Amelia was silent. Brand watched as the tears in her eyes overflowed her lids and trailed down her cheeks. He bent his head, capturing the evidence of her emotion on his lips. His own heady emotion overcame him and he found her lips once more, this time allowing a small measure of the passion he felt for her to seep into the exchange. The kiss was all too brief, but Brand was determined to get her to agree to his proposal. He would feel guilty for manipulating her later.
“Amelia, please. Let me take care of you.” Her head rested against his arm where he held her, small hands fisted in the fabric at the front of his shirt.
“Why, Brand?” Her question was but a whisper. Brand considered his response. He had no desire to hurt or mislead her, but neither was he prepared to profess his love for her.
“Does it matter?” Brand asked, not unkindly, as he disengaged his arms from around her and again clasped her hand within his own. “You need a place to go and-” Brand swallowed hard, considering his next words. She needed to know something of how he felt. He could sense she was looking for reassurance from him- that if she accepted, everything would be alright. “You need a place to go, and-” Swallowing hard Brand continued, “And-I want you.” Again, several emotions crossed her face. Surprise. Considering. And finally, a glimmer of determination.
Amelia let it sink in, Brand’s admission, and she recklessly decided it really didn’t matter. Hadn’t she spent the better part of the last two years flirting with any and every man who crossed her path, hoping one of them would sweep her off her feet and carry her as far away from Harmon as possible. Why not Brand? He was kind and decent. He made a good living and until that night she had never seen him raise a hand to anyone…ever. What more could she need? What more could she ask for?
Love, her heart whispered. Love. What a laugh. Where did love exist in this world, if it did at all? Surely, not in the McAlister family. What would be the purpose of holding out for such an elusive thing as love? No. She would resolve herself to security. And perhaps friendship. And the feelings she had secreted for Brand for these many years would remain just that- secret. Her mind was made up.
“Yes, Brand. I will marry you.” As soon as the words escaped her lips, Amelia marveled at the peace which filled her. Marrying Brand would free her of the living hell she had been in for as long as she could remember. And as much as she endeavored to suppress it, a tiny spark of hope was born in her heart. This was it, this was her shot at happiness, and she would not let it pass her by. And as Brand once again pulled her into a tender embrace, that spark grew into a flame.
Chapter 8
A little over a week later, Amelia Callahan stood at the wash basin in the kitchen of the Callahan’s ranch house, still not believing the events that had led her there. She remembered Brand’s kisses from the night she lay in the narrow bed in the spare bedroom at Doc Childers’, of his proposal and her acceptance. She remembered waking a few hours later to see Brand slumped uncomfortably in the straight-backed chair next to her, dead asleep, and the long minutes she studied him before he awoke and swept her away from the doctor’s so she could prepare herself for the ceremony during which she became his wife.
Their wedding had been simple and quick with only the Callahan’s, Weston’s, and Sawyer Hughes, Miss Ellie on his arm, in attendance. Brand held her hand warmly in his own through it all and when Pastor Simmons pronounced them man and wife, had kissed her soundly on the lips.
And he hadn’t kissed her since.
Amelia sighed as she rinsed soap suds from the bowl she’d just washed. Grabbing a towel from a hook, she dried it before setting it on a shelf, her thoughts turning to the days since her wedding.
After the ceremony, Amelia rode in the wagon next to Brand as he drove them to his home, where he had shown her to a lovely room with lilac papered walls. Brand told her it had belonged to Amy when she had lived at home before her marriage to Beau. Amelia’s trunk was already sitting at the foot of the single, narrow bed, waiting for her to remove its contents and stow them in the walnut wardrobe in the corner.
She had met his eyes questioningly. Taking hold of both her hands, Brand led her into the room. He stood, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other as he told her that for now, until they were both more comfortable in their marriage, she would stay in here… and he would continue to sleep in the room across the hall that had once belonged to his parents.
Then, after pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek, he left her standing in stunned silence. And so, on her wedding day, Amelia had unpacked her clothing and the few personal items taken from her room above the mercantile, while Brand left with Ethan, working as though it were just another day. That evening, the three of them sat in the kitchen to eat a stew Amy had left simmering on the stove along with a loaf of fresh bread for their dinner. After dinner, Amelia had retired to bed- alone.
The next morning, she and Brand had traveled back into town to talk to Dylan about Harmon and the mercantile. It was decided that Brand would speak to Mr. Rawlins, a gentleman in town who had shown interest in purchasing the mercantile after her
father’s death. The money from the sale would be wholly Harmon’s as it had been left solely to him in her father’s will. However, Amelia was to have several hundred dollars for herself for all the years she had never received a salary. This last stipulation was Brand’s idea and once conceived…he would not relent.
Mr. Rawlins was still interested in the mercantile, and the following day a contract was drawn, Harmon’s signature acquired, and a small sum for Amelia deposited into a newly opened account at the bank. Amelia had sagged with relief. She felt no emotional attachment to the store and instead felt an enormous sense of gratitude that it would no longer be her burden to bear. Harmon, having regained consciousness, but still too injured to do much more than lie in bed, signed the papers without a fuss. Or so Brand led her to believe. Amelia had not seen her brother since that night in the alley. On that score, Brand had been emphatic-she was not to go anywhere near Harmon.
Amelia dried her damp hands on her apron and retrieved a mug from a low shelf, filling it with steaming water from the kettle on the stove for tea. It was time for a rest. She had been working all morning, preparing loaves of bread and another stew for their dinner. Amelia rubbed at a sore spot in her back before crossing the kitchen to snitch a sugar cookie from a plate in the cupboard where she had hidden it from Ethan and Brand, a trick she learned from Amy when she had visited the day before. Placing her cookie on a plate, Amelia sat with it and her tea at the large table in the kitchen of the Callahan’s house-now her home.
She bit into the cookie, it’s sweetness filling her mouth. Amelia couldn’t help but think of Brand-of the sweet kisses he had pressed so skillfully to her lips. Closing her eyes, she relished the delicious memory of his strong hand twined in her hair as the other caressed her cheek.
Enough!
She shook her head to rid her mind of thoughts of Brand. It was foolishness on her part, pure foolishness. However, her daydreams were hard to resist. Part of her yearned for the excitement, the bliss of imagining herself as the object of Brand’s affections. That just maybe he loved her. Another part of her also craved the safety, the security she felt in his arms. She could not remember another time in her life when she had ever felt relief from the weight of her fear. Being away from Harmon and the mercantile should have been enough, but it wasn’t.
“Hey there, darlin’.”
Amelia started, hot tea sloshing on her fingertips. Brand was early for lunch. He chuckled, eyes twinkling, as he yanked his hat from his head, tossing it onto one of the chairs at the table.
“Sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” His smile was wide on his handsome face as he looked down at her, tea in one hand, a cookie in the other.
“Oh! You didn’t-I mean-it’s alright-I was just…having some tea,” she finished lamely. How silly! Getting caught indulging in sweets right before lunch!
“I can see that,” he continued to grin at her. “Any chance of gettin’ my hands on one of those?” he asked, gesturing to her cookie.
“Oh! Of course.” Amelia set her mug and cookie on the table and rose from her place at the table. She turned to the cupboard where she had hidden the plate of cookies. She glanced out the corner of her eye at Brand where he stood, arms folded over his chest, one brow quirked in her direction.
“I see you’ve been talking to Amy,” Brand teased with a wink.
Amelia felt her warm cheeks burn hotter. She was determined, however, not to let him have too much fun at her expense. Tossing her hair over her shoulder with her chin held high, Amelia grabbed three cookies from her hidden store and placed them on a plate which she clunked onto the table in front of him.
“Tea,” she asked, finally meeting his amused gaze. Her breath caught however, as she became instantly captivated by her husband’s rugged good looks. She knew some of her friends, other girls in town, were more attracted to the brawny and charming Ethan Callahan, or even Beau Weston-but not Amelia. She had always admired the long, lean lines of Brand’s tall frame and his smooth, graceful body. He moved like a cat, almost lazily, but his strength was undeniable.
“Tea?” Brand wrinkled his nose. “Do I look like I drink tea?”
Amelia giggled as an image of Brand, sitting with a teacup gripped uncomfortably in his powerful hands, flitted across her imagination. “No, I suppose not,” she conceded. “Coffee, then?”
“Milk.”
Amelia giggled again at his response as she reached for the milk jug and poured some into his cup. It had not taken long for her to realize that her new husband usually preferred a glass of milk over a mug of coffee- well, with the exception of first thing in the morning. It tickled her how much he enjoyed the beverage, and it made her heart swell with affection to watch him savor the sweet cookies and then wash them down with a large gulp of cold milk.
“Hmm, mmmm. These taste almost as good as you, sugar.” Brand flirted around a bite of cookie.
Amelia felt the heat rise in her cheeks when he winked at her.
Brand was really regretting the moment of gallantry which had led him to dropping Amelia off in Amy’s old room the day they got hitched rather than carrying her off to his own bed. He had always thought her beautiful, but sitting there across from him, her face flushed from his teasing and a smudge of flour on her cheek-she was downright adorable, not to mention more than a little desirable.
He had meant to give her time to get used to the idea of marrying him. Just because he had secretly loved her from afar, that didn’t mean she had given him a second thought. However, it had only been a week since he’d brought her home and Brand figured he was gonna come down with pneumonia for all the time he spent in the still freezing waters of the creek trying to escape the heat of his feelings for her.
But, after the abuse she had suffered at Harmon’s hand, Brand was resolved to doing the right thing. She needed time to heal, both physically and emotionally from the trauma she had been living with for years. Brand hadn’t mentioned that night or anything that might have happened to her prior. He wanted to give her time and space, hoping there would come a time when they would both be willing to share their secrets.
It was hard, though. Every time Brand looked into Amelia’s haunted eyes, he was hard pressed to not ride into town and get in a few more licks on the convalescing Harmon McAlister. How could a man seek to hurt a woman in such a way, and especially his own sister? Brand knew such evil existed in the world and supposed Amelia was lucky Harmon hadn’t abused her in other ways. Brand’s stomach churned at the thought, the last cookie on his plate suddenly not looking as appetizing.
He forced a smile and took a bite out of it, anyway, enjoying the twinkle in Amelia’s eyes as she watched him enjoy her baking. He was determined not to ruin the moment reflecting on her low-down, no-account brother.
“How about a trip into town, honey,” Brand asked, before stuffing the last bite of his cookie into his mouth. He swallowed, then gulped down the remainder of his milk. It was an impulse, but he was determined it was a good one. She was used to the bustle of being in town and was probably due for a visit to Miss Ellie. Brand rose and held out a hand to her.
“Oh, Brand-I-” Her eyes skittering around the kitchen, taking in the food preparations she had started but not finished. Brand followed her gaze.
“Come on, darlin’, this’ll all keep.” He snatched her hand and pulled her to her feet. He ignored her protests as he spun her around and untied the apron strings at her back. It was harder to ignore the warm tingling in his fingers as they brushed against the fabric of her dress.
“Brand-,” she started again, her words stopped abruptly when he turned her around to face him. She was close enough to embrace, but instead he lifted the apron over her head, the silky tendrils of her hair caressing his skin. No woman had any right to be so soft.
“Now, listen, you and I are gonna go into town and you are gonna have a nice chat with Miss Ellie while I go run an errand. So, why don’t you fix up a little plate of them cookies to take along w
hile I saddle up Dancy?” Brand had tossed the apron on the table and now his hands rested lightly on her hips.
He tried to let her go, he should let her go, and walk out the door to saddle up Dancy, but he just couldn’t resist any longer. Amelia’s wide blue eyes fixed on his until he was just a breath away. Brand sighed with satisfaction when her lashes fluttered closed a moment before his lips claimed hers.
Chapter 9
He meant to kiss her softly- slowly, but just as soon as his lips met hers all Brand’s good intentions were overrun by his desire for her. The next thing he knew, she was crushed in his arms as his lips ravaged hers. And as shocked as he was by his own reaction; he was floored by hers when she met him passion for passion.
Before long Brand was lost. His kiss deepened and his hand wound into the hair at the nape of her neck, pressing her closer. A low moan rumbled deep in his throat as she reached for him, her tentative touch searing the skin at his neck and fueling his desire. For several long moments, Brand was consumed with Amelia’s kiss, the reality of her making a mockery of all his imaginings.
It wasn’t long, however, before all came crashing down. Amelia broke the seal of their kiss, gasping in pain. A bucket of icy river water could not have been more effective in extinguishing his fervor. In losing himself in kissing her, he had forgotten her injuries-the bruises on her body. He was immediately filled with shame and remorse.
“I’m so sorry, darlin’.” Brand loosened his hold on her but did not let her go when she tried to step out of his arms.
“No, no-it’s all right…I-I’m fine,” she stammered. Brand scowled when her eyes refused to meet his. He grasped her chin in his hand and brought her face up to his, shaking his head.
“No, it’s not alright.” Brand’s heart broke a little as he read the expression in her eyes-shame and humiliation. “I’m sorry. Sorry for letting my feelin’s get the best of me.” Brand sighed, chagrined. Brand released her then. Feeling terrible, he turned toward the door.
Loved from Afar Page 5
