“I’m sorry, Beau.” Amy sniffed, lifting her cheek from his chest.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about, darlin’.” Beau gazed into her eyes, still swimming with unshed tears. She was beautiful, and he was in love with her. But he’d promised.
Heart constricting, Beau released her from his hold. Ripping his hat off his head, he raked shaking fingers through his hair before slapping it back down again.
“I know it hurts, darlin’, but I think we need to ease the pressure building inside your boot.” Beau reached into the grass for the knife he had tossed aside. “Hold steady, honey. Breathe deep in your nose and out your mouth. And if you need to scream your head off, go right ahead, won’t be nothing I ain’t heard more times than I can count at home.” And having three sisters, he was telling the truth.
Amy nodded. “I’m ready, Beau.”
He could see by her determined expression that she was. He offered her a smile. But then, he spotted the corner of a book peeking out from under her skirt, and decided distracting her by talking about her novel would be just the thing.
Gripping the book between his thumb and forefinger, Beau pulled it up to dangle between them. His sister, Danielle, was also a fan of Joe Lawless and had been jawin’ his ear off every chance she got about the fictional hero. As for himself, Beau didn't understand the appeal. He’d even picked up one of the dang books, one Dani had left lying around, and out of curiosity, began to read. He barely got past the first chapter. Joe Lawless never found a cow he couldn’t wrangle, a horse he couldn’t ride, an outlaw he couldn’t capture, or a lady he couldn’t make fall in love with him. What a bunch of pig slop! No man could be that good at everything. And as much as it pained him to engage in a discussion about stupid Joe Lawless, it would be worth it if it meant distracting Amy.
“What kind of scrape did Joe get into this time?” he asked, dropping the book into her lap and turning toward her ankle.
“You read Joe Lawless?”
Beau struggled to keep his lip from curling into a sneer. “Nope, not much time for reading. But Dani sure likes the stories.” Beau angled his knife slowly into the top of her boot, slicing into the worn leather.
“I know, I borrowed this one from her. Too bad I didn’t have time to finish it or you could have taken it home to her today.” Her breath caught on the last word, but Beau pressed on.
“I’m sure Dani won’t mind you havin’ it another day or two.” Beau reassured as he continued his slow progress. He’d reached the tender area around her ankle and he was determined to not hurt her more than necessary.
“I know, she’s already read it. Twice.”
Beau didn’t respond, his concentration solely on the task at hand. He felt the tension building in her leg, saw her fingers curl into the grass at her side. He was almost there...Finally, with one last cut, Amy’s ankle was free.
He looked up to see tears streaming down her face as she held back sobs.
He was undone. Before he could stop himself, she was in his arms. He held her close, whispering soft words, and just as he’d dreamed of doing, his hands found their way into the lustrous strands of her hair.
“I’m sorry, Beau.” She apologized again, for what he didn’t know, but her sweet voice touched his heart, her watery gaze meeting his- and that was all it took to lose the fragile hold he had on his honor.
“Don’t be.” He breathed the words into her mouth as his head descended.
The first touch of her lips brought with it an explosion of senses. The satin of her lips. The silk of her hair. The warm vanilla mixed with cinnamon scent of her skin. All of it served to deepen his desire for her, his love.
He shifted, his arms lifting her until she sat across his lap. He kissed her gently, the first kiss he’d been dreaming of giving her for months. She made a sound deep in her throat, like a contented kitten and his lips slanted over hers, deepening the exchange. He pulled her closer, bringing her body flush against his own. She reached up, her smooth hand touched his face…
And it was over. Suddenly, and without warning. Beau put her away from him, his breath ragged like he’d just run a foot race at the Fourth of July picnic. He stood, knocking his hat to the ground as he reached up to run his hands through his hair. Only, he didn’t just swipe them through the sun-streaked locks as he usually did. Instead, his fingers curled, gripping the strands until his knuckles turned white.
“Beau-” Her voice sounded small, even to her own ears. She felt disoriented. Confused. Euphoric. Had Beau Weston just kissed her? Perhaps she was dreaming, or she’d hit her head without realizing. But no- the throbbing in her ankle assured her, she was indeed awake.
Beau growled deep in his throat and bent down to retrieve his hat. “Let’s get you home.”
Then, before she even knew what was happening, he’d swung her into his arms and placed her atop Jasper. He turned to pick up his knife and her mangled boot, then strode back to stow them in his bag. Still, he said nothing.
Amy sat still as a stone, struggling to make sense of his reaction. He had kissed her! When Beau finally put his boot in the stirrup and settled into the saddle behind her, Amy shied away. She huddled around her middle to avoid coming into contact with him. Mortification rippled through her body until she ached.
Beau cleared his throat. “I’ll ride on into town for Doc Childers on my way home.”
Hurt and confused, Amy only nodded. Beau blew out a breath that caused her hair to flutter against her neck. She heard the rasp of his hand scrubbing across his whiskers. Hugging herself tighter, she wished for an escape. She’d never felt so unsure, so uncomfortable. Especially, not with Beau.
The rest of the ride to the Double C seemed an eternity. Finally, the house came into view and Amy saw Brand in the yard, leading Dancy away from the barn. He dropped the reins when he spied them approaching.
“What happened?” His voice shook as his eyes scoured Amy’s person for the reason for her tardiness and place on Beau’s horse.
“Twisted ankle.” Beau answered, sounding hollow. He pulled on the reins, bringing Jasper to a halt. Brand reached for her. Welcoming the love she saw radiating in her brother’s eyes and the comfort his arms promised, Amy practically leapt from Jasper’s back.
“Are you alright?” Brand held her close, worry bringing his brows low over his eyes.
Amy nodded, tucking her head against his neck, anything to avoid Beau’s gaze. Somehow, she’d had her chance and lost it. Beau would never love her now.
“I’ll ride into town for Doc.”
“Thank you for bringing her home.”
Beau acknowledged the words with nod, and never turned back.
Chapter 1
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months before Amy stopped looking down the lane for Beau’s return. Her sixteenth birthday came and went. Her seventeenth and her eighteenth. Still, he stayed away. She never told anyone, not even Danielle, what had happened that day- about Beau kissing her.
Instead, she set about burying her feelings- the hurt, the disappointment, the bitterness- until she was numb. Numb enough to find herself out behind the Mercantile, backed against the wall in the arms of Harmon McAlister.
“You finally gonna let me kiss you?” His mouth hovered above her own, his warm breath tickling her cheek.
He was handsome and charming, and she’d put him off for weeks. She could sense his impatience. Why did she hesitate?
You know why.
Maybe if she said yes to Harmon she would finally start to forget about chocolate eyes...and sun-bronzed hair...and-
“Yes.” She didn’t wait for him to close the scant distance between their lips, but it didn’t take long for him to take over. He clasped her hands together in one of his own, holding them high above her head against the wall behind them. His other arm snaked around her back, hugging her tight against his body.
It was perfect- harsh, demanding, selfish. Nothing at all like the sweet exchange she’d shared with Beau.
And she was done with Beau. Done with waiting. Done with hoping. And to prove it, she met Harmon’s kiss with her own sense of urgency, her own selfishness.
He dropped her hands, using both arms to clutch her to him. He turned, bracing himself against the wall, his knee pushing between hers. Amy raised her arms to wrap them around his neck-
“Oomph!” Her breath burst from her lungs as her body jerked away from Harmon, her back slamming into a strong chest. A muscled arm snaked possessively around her, holding her tight as another delivered a powerful blow to the lips she had just been kissing. Harmon’s head knocked into the wall behind him and he slid to the ground.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Stunned, Amy cringed away from the hot breath of Beau Weston as he shouted in her face, his painfully familiar eyes filled with shocked displeasure.
Land sakes! What is he doing here?
Working to overcome her surprise, Amy drew on months of anger and resentment to shout back at him. “What am I doing? What are you doing?” She struggled to get free of his strong grasp, angry with herself for being glad to see him. She peered around Beau’s imposing body. “Harmon? Are ya alright?” In the dust, Harmon lay still.
Beau shook her by her upper arms until she feared her teeth might rattle from her mouth. “Do your brothers know where you are? What you’re doin’?”
“I could fill the canyon with the stuff my brothers don’t know about me. Now, let go, you big ox!” She yanked her arms again, but Beau’s grip held firm.
Harmon groaned.
“Harm!” Amy tried to get a look at him, but Beau had other plans.
“I’m takin’ you home where you belong!” Beau released her just long enough to put a shoulder into her belly and heft her onto it like a sack of flour.
“Let me go!” She pounded on his back with her fists, kicking her feet wildly.
Beau ignored her, glaring down at Harmon, eyes hard. “As for you, stay away from her!” He punctuated his words with two solid kicks to Harmon’s ribs before turning away. Beau stalked to his horse and tossed Amy into the saddle before mounting behind.
Amy struggled within the circle of his arms, mortified. “Harm! I’m so sorry.” She leaned across Beau’s thick bicep and shoulder. “Are you alright?” Harmon lay on the ground, curled around his midsection. She heard a quiet groan escape his lips. Tears stung her eyes.
Beau kicked Jasper with both heels and the animal lurched, taking them swiftly away from town. Amy fought Beau’s hold, her emotions raw.
“I swear, Amy, you hold still.” Beau wrapped his arms tightly around her as she thrashed in front of him, trying to get free.
“I’ll never forgive you for this, Beau. Never!” Frustrated and angry, tears welled in her eyes and she brought the heel of her shoe back into Beau’s shin.
He yanked on the reins, bringing Jasper to an abrupt halt. Hand on her chin, Beau pulled her around until she could see into the burnished depths of his eyes. He was mad, furious, yet suddenly dead calm.
“You quit your squirmin’ or I will throw you over and save Brand the trouble of beating you.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
Her blazing blue eyes tempted him, and Beau scolded himself for wanting to ravage her pink lips- lips that had just been kissing another man. She was so close he could see the light smattering of freckles running across the bridge of her pert nose. Her chest heaved against his with each angry breath. This was not at all how he’d imagined his homecoming.
“Just try me.” Beau struggled against his baser instincts. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, especially with her cheeks flushed and eyes flashing. Her body against his felt soft, enticing. Each feature of her face, which had always promised great beauty, stood out in lovely contrast to the drab brown earth that surrounded them. The longing to kiss her intensified.
He watched as her eyes narrowed. He was taken aback by the venom in their depths. Venom aimed directly at him. Beau growled in frustration. He should have bypassed town completely. If he hadn’t needed the mail containing his last month’s pay, he would have done just that. Instead, he had darted between the buildings of Main Street, hoping to avoid getting waylaid by folks in town. It hadn’t been worth it; the whole month’s wages weren’t worth the ache in his chest at finding Amy- his Amy- in the arms of Harmon McAlister.
“Does Brand know what you were up to today?” Brand didn’t like Harmon any more than Beau did. He couldn’t imagine Brand letting the man come calling on his little sister. That meant she’d done it without her brother’s knowledge.
Amy jerked her chin out of his grasp and faced forward, hands clutched in her lap.
“I’m not fifteen anymore.”
Her words felt like a sharp jab to his already flayed heart. Heaven only knew how long he’d been waiting for her to grow up-
“It’s not as if Harm is the only man I’ve ever kissed, anyhow.” Amy tossed the words over her shoulder.
Beau grit his teeth.
“Well, now, that ain’t nothing to be proud of!”
“Please!” He watched as Amy glanced down at her hands, clutching her skirt in her lap, before straightening her shoulders and inflicting his death wound, “I know you’ve spent time kissing plenty of girls in town...including me. So, save your preaching for somebody who doesn’t know you like I do.”
There she’d said it. And even though she could feel his body tense behind her, she didn’t care. He’d hurt her. Kissing her, then leaving without a word and showing up out of nowhere, three years later, and having the audacity to punch Harmon for kissing her exactly as Beau had done himself. Who did he think he was, anyway? Four brothers were enough, thank you very much, she didn’t need a fifth. And if Beau thought he could waltz into town and fill up that empty place in her heart where he had always resided- he could think again. She’d spent the last three years digging, clawing, scratching- until her fingertips bled- to get him out. There was no way she would allow him to think she’d been sitting at home mooning over him.
The ranch house was just coming into view and she’d never been so glad to see her home. After today, all she wanted was to curl up under the covers in her own bed and have a good cry.
Brand stood on the porch, his hip propped against the railing. She could tell, even from this distance, his brows were pulled into a tight bee on his forehead. He surely recognized Jasper and must be wondering how she had ended up in his saddle this time.
Brand stepped away from the railing when they entered the yard. Not wanting to wait for Beau to help her, Amy swung her leg over Jasper’s neck and vaulted to the ground. Racing toward the house, she paused only long enough to press a quick kiss to Brand’s cheek. Let him hear it from Beau.
“Welcome home, Beau.” Brand shook his head, fighting a grin. “I see some things never change. Not even home a day and already hauling Amy home in a temper.”
“Not even home an hour,” Beau countered walking up the steps to the shaded porch. “Maybe if you kept that girl locked up I wouldn’t have to.”
Brand did grin then. “I can’t keep watch over her every minute of the livin’ day. What kind a scrape you find her in today?”
“Kissin’ on Harmon McAlister like he was her husband,” Beau shot back.
Brand sighed and ran his hand across his face.
“You knew?” Beau’s hands curled into fists as he fought feelings of frustration and betrayal. They both knew the kind of man Harmon was, and he wasn’t for Amy.
“A lot of things have changed since you left.” Brand defended himself.
“Harmon is a worthless piece of sh-”
“He’s changed,” Brand said, a trace of steel hardening his tone. “I wouldn’t have allowed him to call on her otherwise, you know I wouldn’t.”
Beau clenched his jaw to keep the words in his mouth where they belonged. Brand was right, he had been gone a long time, things were bound to be different. Hell, he’d changed in the years he�
�d been gone.
“We’ve been friends a long time, Beau.”
Brand’s words gave him pause, and even though he knew the frayed edges of his nerves showed plainly on his face, he turned toward his friend.
“Harmon knocked on my door a few months ago. I slammed it in his face and told him to go soak his head.” Brand sighed again, raking his fingers through his hair. “He’s been persistent. Cleaned up a bit. I never really gave my go ahead, but I’m fairly certain she’s been seeing him pretty regular when she goes into town.”
Bitterness filled Beau’s throat until all he could do was nod. Brand was right, it was Amy’s decision. And Beau deserved no less than the pain he felt. He’d left. And Amy had moved on from her little girl’s crush.
It hadn’t been lost on him all those years, the adoration he’d seen in her eyes since she was just a little thing. He’d worked diligently to never take advantage of her youth and innocence, believing she deserved the chance to grow up and decide, once she was a woman grown, that he was the man for her. And so, three years ago, when the temptation became impossible ignore, he’d done what he felt was the only honorable thing to do- he left. And, just as he’d feared it might, all the childish love he’d tried so hard not to take for granted, had burned out of her eyes, leaving behind only anger and resentment.
“It’s not too late, Beau.”
“The only reason I left was to honor our agreement. To give her a chance to grow up.” Beau settled in the saddle and straightened his shoulders. “She’s done that. And she’s made her choice.” With a final nod in Brand’s direction, Beau kicked Jasper with his heels and headed for home.
Jasper made his way down the lane toward Beau’s family home of his own volition. The vision of Amy being held in Harmon’s arms, so vivid before Beau’s eyes, prevented him from paying attention to the road before him. He feared the image would be stamped in his memory forever and wished he could somehow wipe it clean.
Loved from Afar Page 12
