by Jen Calonita
Even being ignored by Brooke hasn't been so bad. I watched our latest episode the other night and it's almost like we're on two different shows. There are the Hallie/Keiran/Charlie segments and the Marleyna/Brooke ones, and inevitably at some point in the show, one group will talk smack about the other group. One of the weekly tabloids told Addison their readers can't get enough of the controversy. Apparently I come across as quite sympathetic—the best friend dumped for the fabulous, flashy rich girl—and readers polled are on my side. That news aggravated Marleyna and Brooke, who, the editor told Addison on the down low, have been doing all they can to stay in the gossip mags themselves. Last week they actually sent pizza to the entire staff of one magazine on closing night (which is the night an issue goes to print. They work sometimes till 3 AM!). They included a note saying “We know you're up late! Thought you could use some sustenance. Love, Marleyna and Brooke, The Cliffs.”
I guess bribery is Brooke's new weapon these days.
And now, here we are. Less than an hour before everyone is due to film the biggest show we've ever done. Phil, Hank, Kayla, and the crew are setting up angles around the center table in the closed restaurant where our powwow will take place. Addison is running around, BlackBerry glued to her fingers, taking care of last-minute details. Hallie and Keiran should be arriving soon. There's no sign of Brooke and Marleyna yet, but this is real. It's going to happen. And while it might have been my bright idea, now I'm ready to throw up.
“Are you sure you don't want a hot chocolate?” Ryan frowns. “You don't look so good.”
I grab for the nearest chair, reaching a paisley print recliner, and plop into it. “Maybe I will take that drink.” I look just fine—well, physically. My raven hair is wavy and shiny, and my outfit is really cute, if I do say so myself. I'm wearing a snug green tank dress. And I picked it out without Brooke's help!
“Hot cocoa with extra cream,” Ryan recites. “Coming rightup!”
The front door jingles, announcing someone's arrival, but I don't bother to look up. I'm too busy thinking about the things I'm going to say on live TV. Things that can never be taken back. I know I have to say them—I want to say them—but I'm petrified.
“Charlie?”
I look up. “Zac!” I spring out of my chair. “What are you doing here?” I panic.
“Looking for you,” he says with a grin.
He looks as good today as he did yesterday at our weekly paper meeting, or the day before that when he came to school with stubble after oversleeping and not having time to shave. (I overheard him tell one of the guys that. Not me. I'm still sort of keeping my distance.) He smells terrific—that can't just be soap, can it?—and I can't stop staring at his eyes. I wish I could stare at them all day. They're very calming.
“Do you have a minute?” Zac interrupts my fantasy. He grabs the chair next to mine. “It's kind of important.”
Wait. What? A minute? To talk? I glance at the clock. No, no, no. Not now. “Actually I don't,” I say even though it
kills me.
His face drops. “Just hear me out. I know I was a jerk about things, but I've been doing a lot of thinking—”
“You weren't a jerk,” I tell him. “It's just—”
The jingle on the door makes me jump. Addison's face is grave.
“Zac, can you give me a second?” I ask. I rush across the room.
“Susan is coming,” Addison practically whispers. “She wouldn't miss the opportunity to talk to the press about her brilliant idea to do a live show.” Addison rolls her eyes. “That woman is a grown-up Marleyna.” Addison glances over my shoulder. “You've got to get Zac out of here.”
I cut her off. “I'm on it.”
“Work fast,” Addison tells me as she glances at her BlackBerry. “Susan just turned off the highway and is only twenty minutes away.”
“Sorry about that,” I apologize to Zac. “We're shooting a live episode today and everyone is really nervous.”
“I heard,” Zac says.
“You did?” I ask. “How?”
He smiles his picture-perfect grin. “E! Online, People.com, the Cliffside High halls. Word travels fast in this town.”
“Don't I know it,” I deadpan. If one more person at school asks about my fight with Brooke, I'll scream. “Anyway, my executive producer is showing up in a few minutes and I have to get ready.”
Zac's face is suddenly serious. “That's why I'm here. Confession time. That day you were going on a date with another guy, I realized I was making a big mistake.”
He did?
“I shouldn't have let you slip away just because I didn't want to be on the show,” Zac says regretfully. “I'm sure we can work something out. TV isn't something I want to do, but if you're into it, I could make more of an effort.” His face is hopeful.
And then, before my jaw can fall off my face completely, he adds this: “I like you, Charlie. Too much to be scared away by some cameras.”
Oh. My. God. I've fantasized Zac would say this a million times. But not today!
He looks around the room and smiles. “Besides, you said it's short-term, right?”
Shorter than you know, I want to tell him. But I can't explain right at this moment, as much as I want to. I grab his hand tightly. “Zac, I really want to talk to you about this, but something major is about to go down and I have to take care of this first.”
The doorbell jingles again and I see Brooke and Marleyna. They see me and start to whisper. I push Zac toward the door. “You have to get out of here. I promise I'll explain everything later.”
“Charlie, what's going on?” Zac asks. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” I'm honest. “You just have to trust me.”
I open the door for him just in time. Susan is walking up to the store as I push Zac out. She is wearing a fitted khaki pantsuit and high heels. She's too busy reading her BlackBerry to notice him. I give Susan a wave. I'm surprised I can even lift my arm.
“What was that?” Hallie freaks as she skirts up next to me with Keiran at her side. They both look great for their final close-up. Hallie is in skinny jeans and a flirty lavender tank top that matches her flip-flops. Keiran is in a mini-dress, like me, hers paisley and white, which showcases her darkening tan. She always gets a good one early.
I can barely breathe I'm so freaked out. I'm still in utter disbelief over what just happened. “Zac wants to be with me. TV show or no TV show.”
“I knew Zac was a good guy,” Keiran says, and plays with her ponytail. “What did you say?”
“I told him I couldn't talk right now,” I say miserably.
“You'll explain everything later,” Hallie assures me, and pulls me with them. “First we have to deal with the elephant in the room.”
Susan is chatting with Addison, who has her headset on, and two women I don't recognize. Brooke and Marleyna are with them. Both are in red, which I find kind of funny. Marleyna has on red shorts, a navy dress shirt knotted at her waist, and navy heels. Brooke is in a red slip dress.
“I don't think I can come clean with Susan standing feet away.” Keiran chews a strand of hair nervously. “It's like standing calmly by while a ship sinks—and we're the ones sinking it.”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steady her. “It's pretty much us or her,” I remind Keiran. “This is our one shot at freedom. If we don't take it, we may never get another one. We have to go for it.”
“But not too quickly,” Hallie stresses. “The show is twenty-two minutes with commercials so we have to remember what Addison said. We have to pace our put-downs.”
Keiran groans. “So I have to look at the second hand on my watch to time my bashings? This is torture. No wonder Susan wanted me off the show. I don't have the guts to do this.”
“Yes, you do,” I say firmly. “You're ten trillion times better than Susan realizes.” I smile. “Today will prove it.”
Susan's clicking heels announce her arrival. “Hi, girls,” she says cheerfully,
sounding just as bubbly as she did the first time she talked to me at Milk and Sugar. Her hair is pin-straight. “The network is buzzing over tonight's live show,” she says. “Addison told me you girls came up with the idea yourselves. Who was the mastermind?”
Mastermind is more fitting than Susan realizes. “Uh.” We all look at each other. “It was a group decision,” I tell her.
“I was just telling the same thing to Brooke and Marleyna,” Susan confides. “A live show is a great opportunity for all of you girls to air out your differences. There should be no secrets between friends.”
Funny coming from Susan, who has thrived on keeping secrets from all of us. “You're absolutely right,” I tell Susan with a smile.
She grabs my hand. Hers is ice cold. “And how are you doing, Charlie?” She pulls me close so that only I can hear her. “Your last phone call had me quite concerned.”
“Sorry about that,” I apologize. “My head was a little loopy from my date with Danny. I wasn't thinking clearly.”
Susan nods. “It happens. Just remember, I'm an executive producer for a reason. Anything I do, I do for the best of the show, which includes you.”
“I understand that now,” I tell her sweetly.
Satisfied, Susan walks away. Now it's Addison's turn for a pep talk of a different kind. “Okay, we have thirty minutes before we go on,” she reminds us. “Since this is live they're going to fix your makeup. Brooke's and Marleyna's are being done now. We'll want this to look like it's unfolding in front of the viewers’ eyes so some of you will repeat your entrance into the restaurant.” Addison takes a deep breath. “Are you ready?” The three of us look at each other and nod. “Good luck,” she whispers.
The next twenty-five minutes are a blur. Hank mics us and goes over our cues—Marleyna and Brooke will walk through the door and Hallie, Keiran, and I will already be seated at a table. Hallie and Keiran get their makeup retouched while I do an initial interview with the reporters.
I stay focused and keep my tone light, but inside I'm flipping out. Addison looks like she's ready to pass out too, and I feel like Susan is watching every move I make. Keiran is right. Taking down our own TV show is a lot scarier than I realized. But when I feel myself start to hyperventilate, I think about Zac. He was willing to give up a lot for me. I should be able to stand up for myself and get my life back on track.
After getting my makeup done, I pass through the kitchen, where hair and makeup are. On my way, I bump into Brooke. Instead of brushing past me, which is her new norm, she stops short when she sees me.
“Hey,” she says in a tone that isn't biting for once. Maybe that's because Marleyna isn't with her.
“Hey,” I say back, surprised.
“Ready for tonight?” she asks.
I nod. “You?” Brooke nods too. We stare at each other awkwardly.
This might be my last chance to spill my guts to her. I have to know for sure our friendship is gone before I let it slip away forever. “I don't know what happened to us, Brooke,” I say before she can walk away. “We've been best friends forever. I thought the four of us could survive anything thrown our way. And as ugly as things have gotten, I miss your laugh, the way you critique an outfit, your no-nonsense answers. I miss us.” I search her blank face. “Do you think there is any chance we could go back?”
Brooke just looks at me. “I'm sorry things have gotten so out of hand,” she admits, and for a split second I think maybe, just maybe, Brooke wants to fix our friendship too. Then she says, “But people change. I've changed. I'm happier now. I like doing this show and I like what Marleyna brings to it.” She seems to be searching for the right words to say and for once she doesn't sound bitter when she says them. She's actually telling the truth. “I miss you guys sometimes, but I can't go back. I don't want to be part of the Charlie show anymore. I like the spotlight too much.”
I feel flushed. So that's it then. Right from Brooke's mouth. She thinks our friendship revolves around me and I always thought our friendship revolved around keeping everyone happy. Maybe we really have changed. Either that, or we never really knew each other, even after all these years. Instead of zinging her, I just say: “Good luck tonight.”
“Girls! You're on in five!” Addison yells as she rounds the hallway.
Brooke smiles. “You too.”
We walk in silence through the kitchen into the dining room. Hank grabs Brooke and Marleyna and leads them to the front door and gives them some final instruction. Kayla checks my mic again.
Addison seats Keiran, Hallie, and me at a table in the center of the room. There's already a platter of cookies and glasses of iced tea. I know both will go untouched. “The crew will be out here, but Susan and I will be in the back,” Addison reminds us. “Since we're live we don't want to catch anyone on camera accidentally. Ryan will be behind the counter the whole time unless he's serving you.”
I look at Hallie and Keiran. They're as worked up as I am. They have all the trademark signs. Keiran is chewing her hair again and Hallie's neck gets a rash whenever she freaks out. I sweat. A lot. My hands are actually slimy. Eww.
“We're on live in four!” Phil announces.
My heart starts to palpitate.
“Your mics are on,” Addison says and gives us a knowing look. “When we say ‘in one’ start talking nonchalantly about anything you want. About a minute after the show starts, after the opening credits, we'll signal Marleyna and Brooke. Good luck, girls.” Addison crosses her fingers and then she's gone.
“In three!”
“In two!”
“IN ONE!”
“We're live! Credits rolling.”
My heart is racing. We're live. As in, on the air and millions of people are watching. No editing. No reshoots. We've got twenty-two minutes to fill. Twenty-two of the most important minutes we've ever shot. And if we get them right, our TV careers will be finito.
Keiran surprises us by speaking first and breaking the ice. “Could it be any hotter today? Mom says it's supposed to be the hottest summer we've had in years. The almanac says it's going to be a scorcher.”
“At least we live near the beach,” I say lamely. “Although a pool in the backyard doesn't sound like such a bad idea right now either.”
A few seconds later, the door jingles and we look up. Marleyna and Brooke come in animatedly. They see us and walk over.
“Hi,” Brooke says flatly.
“Hi,” Keiran says back. “We're glad you guys could come.” She motions to the empty chairs.
They look at each other. “I really didn't want to,” Marleyna says stiffly, looking at me. “Especially after how you treated me at the photo shoot the other day.”
“I was harsh,” I apologize. “We've all been angry and I guess we've been taking it out on you, Marleyna.” She refuses to look at any of us.
“Will you guys take a seat?” Hallie asks. “We really want to talk about things.”
“We don't want it to go on like this,” Keiran presses. “It's time to stop acting like preschoolers, don't you think?”
Brooke looks sort of surprised and it makes me wonder what she and Marleyna planned to talk about tonight. They knew this was a confrontation episode. Did they just think this would be another headline-making blowup? It kills me to apologize, but we have to keep things going as long as possible and if that means groveling to Marleyna for ten minutes, then that's what we have to do.
“Marleyna, why don't we at least listen to what they have to say?” Brooke suggests. “The movie doesn't start for an hour anyway.”
Marleyna sighs. “Fine.” She sits down, arms crossed, and she looks glumly at the plate of cookies.
“Great,” Keiran says happily. “Let's get it all out on the table starting at the very beginning…”
“BREAK!” Hank yells.
Addison runs out. “Girls, that was perfect! Great timing too. We'll be back in ninety seconds. There'll be three more commercial breaks during the show. You're doing great!”
The five of us don't speak to one another as the makeup artist retouches up our shiny faces.
“This is such a waste of an episode,” Marleyna says eventually. “It's not like this is going to solve anything. We're done with you three and as the mags prove, we don't need to be a fivesome. Brooke's and my scenes kill on their own. We don't need to do lame street fairs or go horseback riding. Our scenes have drama. That's what the audience wants.”
Hallie picks at a cookie. “Sorry to hear you find us in the way, Marleyna. I thought we were making progress here.”
“We're back in fifteen!” Hank yells. “Ten! Five! We're on!”
During the next segment all the way to the commercial break, Keiran takes the ball and runs with it. I've never seen Kiki so focused. She's like a moderator on The View. We go back and forth—who's to blame, who's not, who hurt who, who's not hurt, who feels slighted, blah, blah, blah, with Keiran interjecting where it's needed and saying things like, “How does it make you feel, Brooke, to hear Charlie say that?” Brooke and Marleyna spend the whole time acting as if someone kidnapped their puppy. They're wounded, sad, and trying to work a major sympathy card. But Keiran doesn't let them off the hook. “Marleyna, you can admit you haven't liked us from the beginning,” Keiran says. “We won't be offended. It's pretty obvious.”
“Commercial break!”
“Kiki, you rock,” Hallie marvels.
Keiran is glowing. “I don't know what's come over me. Maybe we should have been doing live shows the whole time.”
“You're the queen of zingers. Have you been practicing in front of the mirror?” I ask. Brooke and Marleyna are too busy whispering to one another—probably going over their strategy—to pay attention to what we're saying.
“Girls, we're back in ninety seconds,” Phil reminds us.
I look at Hallie and Keiran. We have less than ten minutes to go. Addison looks over at us and nods. The reporters are busy taking notes in the doorway. They're going to get more than they bargained for now. I see Susan on her cell. She waves.
