“You say that now, but someone is going to change your mind.”
That’s doubtful. She would have to be a magician to change the anti-relationship stance I’ve held for my entire life.
It’s not like I have some deep, emotional scarring that makes me this way. My parents are still happily married. I just don’t think it’s necessary for me. I’m happy with the way things are. I don’t need a ring and some legal document telling me how to live my life.
“Not gonna happen.”
“Alright, but when it does, I expect an invite to the wedding.”
“You’ll be invited to my non-existent wedding.”
“Speaking of, did you RSVP to my wedding?”
“Yeah, I did. Shouldn’t you know that? I mailed back the stupid little card thing.”
“Sophie’s taking care of it. I keep offering to help but she’s a control freak. Besides, we did all the important stuff together. Chose the venue, picked the menu, tasted a million cakes. I even picked the flowers, man.”
“She’s got you whipped.”
Matt gets a goofy smile on his face. “Yeah, she does, and I’m okay with it.”
For a brief, almost non-existent second, I want what Matt has. It must be nice to love someone so much that you smile just thinking about them.
That moment disappears quickly. I have friends for that. I don’t need a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife to make me feel loved. I just need them for a night at a time, maybe two if it was really good.
In fact, that’s what Jenna is for. She’s basically my girlfriend without the pressure. I don’t have to tell her what I’m doing constantly or worrying about how I talk to her. She makes me happy and we have fun together, but there are no stakes. It’s the best situation I could ask for.
I’m so glad I’m in Connecticut. Knowing I’d be living close to Jenna was among the most exciting parts of getting traded. It’s never easy to move from one team to another. However, I have my childhood best friend living less than five minutes away. Matt made my transition onto the team smooth, and Jenna made my transition into Hartford smooth.
I’m a lucky guy. I definitely don’t need a relationship. That would be a complication I can’t afford. Besides, it has never been my goal. I don’t want to get married. Sure, it would be cool to have kids, but I’ll have plenty of friends with kids. I can hang out with them and give the kids back when I’m done.
That would be ideal. I’ll be the coolest uncle to all my friends’ kids. I won’t have to wake up in the middle of the night when they’re crying or anything, but I can spoil the shit out of them.
“Alright, man,” Matt says. “Since we’re early, why don’t we hit the ice for some drills?”
“We can do that?”
Matt gives me an odd look. “Of course, we can. As long as we don’t get hurt.”
I stare at him. That is not how things were done in Bakersfield. If we got caught out on the ice before the coach, we sat out the next game. No exceptions.
It’s strange that we’re in the same league, but things are so different from team to team. Some coaches are strict, others expect you to be out on the ice if you’re early. What will it be like if I get traded again?
I hope that doesn’t happen. At least, not for a while. I’d like to get to know a team and teammates well enough to play with them before things change. Our hockey team was so good senior year because most of us had been together since we were freshman. We knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s impossible to teach each other that well if we’re constantly being thrown around.
Matt and I put on our practice gear and head out onto the ice. We skate around for a bit to warm up. Matt takes his place in the goal. I line up a few pucks on the ice.
“Let’s see you score on me, bro,” Matt says. I can’t see his eyes behind his mask, but I know there’s a challenge there. I’m prepared to meet it.
I slap the first puck. Matt catches it easily and tosses it to the side.
“Come on, you can do better than that.”
I lower my eyes. This is how it has always been between Matt and me. We’re both crazy competitive. Luckily, it’s always productive. I wouldn’t be half the player I am if it weren’t for Matt.
When I shoot again, Matt still stops the goal, but it’s a lot closer this time.
“That’s right. Show me what you’ve got.”
I hit another puck. My body is facing towards the right, so that’s the direction Matt goes for the block. The puck soars into the upper left corner of the net.
Matt pulls off his helmet and grins at me. “It’s no wonder the Rangers wanted you so badly.”
“You mean it’s not because of my wicked good looks?”
He rolls his eyes. Sometimes, I like to say wicked just to make fun of Matt. He grew up in Massachusetts, so he says it a lot. I’d never heard anyone use the word ‘wicked’ in a sentence until I met Matt.
“Shut up and keep shooting.”
I make two of the next four shots, and then I’m out of pucks. Matt and I gather them up from the ice and set up for another round. We make it through five shots, three of which I score, before the rest of the team starts to mosey out onto the ice.
“Wow, we’ve got some overachievers on the team,” another player, Ben, says. He started as a rookie with Matt. He’s one of the few guys I clicked with immediately when I got here. Ben likes to throw around jokes, but he’s one of the best players I’ve ever seen. Word on the street is that the Rangers are going to pull him up soon. I want him to succeed, but I’ll miss having another ally on the ice.
A few of the other guys I’m friendly with come over and say hey before they start warming up on the ice. The rest of the team keeps their distance.
That’s the problem with being the new kid. The younger guys will take you in and accept you, but the older guys want nothing to do with you. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to get in with the whole team. I’ll always be an outsider. Well, at least until we get another trade or another round of new drafts. Then I might stand a chance.
Coach has us run some easy drills. We have a game tonight, hence the practice, so he doesn’t want us too exhausted. Depending on how we do, we might have more practices during the week. I hope so. Jenna works and goes to school on weekdays, and Matt is usually with Sophie, so I end up alone in my apartment when there’s no game or practice to go to. I volunteer for every charity thing the team does just to get out and see people. Not that I don’t like doing charity work, but I definitely do it partially so I’m not alone all the time.
After practice, we eat a spread of food in the locker room, then we get ready for the game. We’re playing a team from Florida today. I don’t know any of the guys, but it is cool to play against a team from my home state.
Which reminds me, I need to find time to go back and visit. I went home during the offseason last year, but it has been like six months since I was in Florida. I miss my family. Maybe Jenna and I can take the trip together this time. I’ll have to talk to her about it.
We win the game three to two. I scored one of the goals, which got me an approving look from the coach. It hasn’t been easy to prove that I was worth trading, but I think I’m doing an okay job. I haven’t gotten yelled at, which I consider a win.
“Hey, man, do you want to go out for drinks with us?” Matt asks, gesturing to the guys behind him. Ben is there, along with some of the players who haven’t quite accepted me yet.
I shake my head. “Thanks, but I can’t. Next time?”
“Suit yourself. Let’s go, boys!”
The locker room is quiet when they leave. I could’ve gone, but I got the feeling I wasn’t welcome from some of the other guys.
Professional hockey isn’t everything I expected it to be. I didn’t think there would be cliques within my team. I’m not saying we all need to be best friends, but it would be nice if they didn’t treat me like an outsider.
I put away my hockey stuff and head out. The dr
ive to my apartment is short, and it’s barely midnight when I get home. I consider asking Jenna what she’s up to, but it’s Thursday night. She’s probably asleep already.
Which is where I should be. I shower quickly and change into a pair of sweatpants. This isn’t how I thought my life would be once I got to this level. Out partying with the guys was more my plan.
Whatever. It’s only been a month. Things will smooth over with the rest of the team, and then it’ll feel like I belong here.
I just wish I knew how long that will take.
Jenna
No. No. No. Absolutely not. No. Nope. Not a chance.
I swipe left on every guy who comes across my stupid dating app.
I only joined it because my friend Rebecca told me it would help. She met her boyfriend this way, and they’ve been together for five years. I’m pretty sure he’s going to propose soon.
The problem is, none of these guys do it for me. Some are attractive, but their bios are boring. Then there are the ones who say they’re married but looking for someone to join the relationship. That’s fine if it’s what you’re into, but I’m way too jealous a person to do that. I couldn’t handle watching my guy have sex with another woman.
Why can’t I meet a guy the old-fashioned way? I shouldn’t have to use online dating to find the perfect person. Half these guys have it right in their profile that they don’t want anything serious. I want serious! I don’t want anything not serious.
Damien amazes me. He’s the opposite of serious. I don’t think he ever sleeps with the same woman more than once. Maybe twice if she’s really good.
Meanwhile, I haven’t had sex in five years. I was sort of dating this guy for a few weeks, and we almost slept together, but it never felt right. He dumped me just short of the one-month mark, anyway. Not exactly a great memory.
I toss my phone on the bed and bury my head in my hands. Now Damien knows about my lack of a sex life, too. It’s so embarrassing! It’s not my fault I’m picky. I have a right to be! I shouldn’t settle for just anyone. I’m too old for that.
Not that twenty-four is all that old. It’s just that a lot of my friends are starting to settle down and get married. I don’t want to fall behind.
This is all my ex’s fault. If Mike hadn’t dumped me, I wouldn’t be in this position. We were supposed to be together forever. Instead, I’m swiping through a dating app trying to find love.
I feel ridiculous. I get that online dating works for a lot of people, but it just isn’t for me.
Unfortunately, real life isn’t working out for me, either. How does one meet guys in their mid-twenties? I have no idea. I’ve tried going out to clubs and stuff, but I’m always too shy to talk to anyone. It’s a problem.
I sigh and pick up my phone again. It’s almost time for me to leave for class.
I’m tempted to ditch. It’s been hard for me to focus in class lately. Being a dentist is still something I want, but the schooling itself sucks.
The fact that I already have a job as a dental assistant doesn’t help. I’m ahead of other people in my class. You don’t need a degree to be an assistant to a dentist, but most people avoid it while they’re in school. I can understand why. Working full-time while earning my degree has been nearly impossible.
Luckily, my only daytime class is on Thursdays, so I managed to convince the office to let me work on Saturday in exchange for Thursdays off. We have an emergency department, so we’re open on weekends. You never know when a tooth will need to be pulled due to infection. People tend to wait until the last minute to get checked out.
Unfortunately, today is Thursday. My class starts at eleven, and it’s ten now. The school is about twenty minutes away, so I have time, but traffic can be a hit or miss. It’s best if I leave in the next thirty minutes.
I close out of the dating app. Maybe I’ll get lucky and there will be some new guys in my dentistry class today. It can happen, right?
Once I’m dressed, I head to my car. The drive is uneventful. When I get to class, it’s filled with the same few people it is always filled with. No newbies for me to flirt with.
Not that I’d flirt with them, anyway. I’m super awkward around people. That’s part of why I’m still single.
“Hey, Jenna,” my friend, Melonie, greets me. We met on the first day of school and have been close ever since. “How was your week?”
“It was fine. I worked Monday through Wednesday, then came here after work all three days.”
She sighs. “I don’t know how you do it. I struggle to keep up with my part time job, plus the class they have me teaching on the main campus.”
“I don’t know how you do that! If I was teaching this year, I wouldn’t be able to have this job.”
I taught my first semester of grad school. It’s fun to be in front of a class of undergrads. The drive to Storrs, where my graduate school’s main campus is, kind of sucked, but I enjoyed teaching. Then I got the job as a dental assistant and had to give up teaching.
“We’re both juggling too much,” Melonie says. “But at least I get a bit of a break in summer.”
“That’s true. How was your week?”
“Same as yours, except less working. I taught on Monday, worked Tuesday, was here Monday through Wednesday. Now I’m here again.”
“We’re living our best lives, aren’t we.”
Melonie laughs. “If this is my best life, kill me.”
“We should go out this weekend! Hit up a few bars in Hartford.”
“I wish I could, but I’m going home to see my family this weekend. What about next weekend?”
“I’m free. I’m pretty much always free.”
“Perfect. Friday night?”
“It’s a date!”
Melonie and I put the plan in our calendars so we won’t forget. I’m glad Melonie likes to go out. We’ve done this a few times since we met. Most of my friends are busy with their jobs, husbands, and kids, so they’re not partying anymore. How am I supposed to meet people if I have no one to go out with?
“I need you to wingman me while we’re out,” I tell Melonie.
“I can try. You need to do the same for me.”
I hold out my pinkie. It’s a silly gesture, but for some reason we started doing pinkie swears a little over a year ago when we met in class, and we haven’t been able to stop. I have to admit I love it.
“I’m glad you could all make it tonight!” the professor says as she enters the room. “You’re in for some excitement. We have a guest lecturer!”
The guest lecturer is a dentist here to tell us about new strategies for fixing cavities. I try to pay attention, I really do, but the guy has the most monotone, droning voice I have ever heard. I nearly fall asleep. I probably would have if Melonie wasn’t beside me writing notes in the corner of her notebook for me to read. It’s like high school, but we’re adults now.
When class is over, I say goodbye to Melonie and make my way to my car. I pull out my phone to text Damien and ask what he’s up to. I know he doesn’t have a game tonight, so he’s probably sitting at home like he usually does.
His response is a surprise.
“I’m home now, but I’m going to a late lunch with some teammates in a little bit.”
He never does that, because he’s been having some issues with the older guys. Damien is going to have to explain how this happened.
I head for my apartment and let myself in. Days like this, I wish I still had a roommate. I thought I was going to love living alone. Turns out, it’s just really lonely. I could use a friend to hang out with.
To curb the loneliness, I open up the dating app again. Maybe this time I’ll get lucky.
After ten guys in a row who are either not my type, already in a relationship, or boring, I give up again. I don’t go so far as to delete the app, but it’s tempting. I don’t think it’s going to help me at all.
In my kitchen, I fix myself some lunch. It’s almost two, but I haven’t eaten since
seven. I won’t make it if I wait until dinner.
There’s nothing to watch on any of the streaming services I subscribe to. I don’t have cable because it’s too expensive and I wouldn’t use it, anyway. Except for this afternoon when all I want is a mindless cooking show to watch.
I eat my pasta with a documentary about national parks on. It’s boring, but I need the background noise. I scroll through my phone hoping for some kind of inspiration. I could work on stuff for class, but I don’t have the motivation. I could go to the gym, but that sounds awful right now. What I want to do is go on a date. Why is that such a difficult goal to attain?
As I’m scrolling through Instagram, I stop on a picture Damien posted recently. It’s a group shot of him with a few of his teammates. I recognize Matt even though we’ve never met. The other guys are strangers, though.
They’re pretty hot, now that I’m looking at them. I wonder if any of them are single.
I jump up from the couch. That’s it! Damien is bound to have some single friends on the hockey team. He can set me up with one of them!
Damien is so not going to like this idea. He thinks monogamy is boring. If it were up to him, I’d take a page from his playbook and hook up with random guys instead of trying to get into a relationship. I know he doesn’t understand it, but I wish he’d be more accepting of people who actually want to get married and have kids someday.
He’ll have no choice but to help me if I show up. I check Snapchat. Damien keeps his location on, which means I can see where he is. Lucky for me, he opened the app when he got to the restaurant.
Actually, it’s more of a sports bar than a restaurant. I shouldn’t be surprised. Where else would a bunch of hockey guys hang out?
The location doesn’t matter. I’m just going to go, talk to Damien, and convince him to introduce me around to the team. It won’t be too bad! He can’t say no to me if I’m there in person. Damien has trouble saying no to me in any situation, honestly.
I get dressed quickly. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard, but I pick a low-cut shirt and jeans that hug my hips. It’s casual, but it should capture the right kind of attention.
Arrogant Puck: A Friends to Lovers Sports Romance (Hockey Heartthrobs Book 2) Page 2
