“Nothing to be nosey about? They didn’t tell anyone they were dating for months, Cutter. Or did you forget?”
I roll my eyes. “How could I?”
“Look, smartass, I don’t love your attitude, but I understand it. Invite her up here and I promise we won’t embarrass you. Just let us get to know her, let her get to know us. You haven’t given us that option - ever.”
What he’s said has its merits and he’s right, I’ve never let a woman in my life come here, never introduced her to my family. Not after college, and if I’m serious about Rowan, I should be willing to try new things with her.
“Okay,” I answer finally.
“Okay?”
“I’ll ask her if she wants to come here, but this will be on her terms. I’m not forcing her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
Dad looks so proud of himself, so pleased that he was able to wear me down. Pisses me off so bad.
“That’s fair.” He reaches out, bumping my knuckles with his.
“More than fair. And let me just say, when she comes here,” - because I refuse to believe she won’t; I need to see her as much as I need air to breathe - “you aren’t allowed to monopolize her time.”
“Got it, no monopolizing.” He holds up his hands in mock-surrender.
“I mean it, Dad. Tell Mom, too.”
He crosses his heart. “I promise, we’ll be on our best behavior.”
Something tells me he’s lying through his teeth, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. He’s off the treadmill, grabbing a towel and heading out the door.
“Don’t you have the rest of your workout to finish?”
“Already done.” He grins, waving goodbye.
Ugh… I’ve been played.
Going over to my stuff, I grab my cellphone out of my bag, pulling up Rowan’s contact information. We’ve texted a few times here and there, both trying to figure out how we fit into each other’s lives now.
Closing my eyes I send up a little prayer that she’ll say yes. I’m not sure how I’ll handle it if she doesn’t.
Heart. Broken.
A little piece of my brain says. It’s loud enough so that I can hear it.
“Shut the fuck up,” I mumble. “It’s now or never.”
C: How would you feel about coming up to spend the weekend with me? I’m off and I’d love to see you. I miss you.
I wonder if I should have put the I miss you on there, but I realize I need to be myself. Not being honest is what screwed up the last true relationship I was in. I’ll be as honest as I can, no matter how much it exposes me to potential hurt.
R: Ya know what? I’d love to. It’ll do me good to get out of town for a few days. Are you sure you’re okay with it?
A smile spreads across my face.
C: I’m ecstatic about it. Let’s make plans!
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rowan
I’ve never been so excited to take a road trip. In fact, I can’t remember the last one I took. Maybe when I was sixteen and some friends and I went to a concert in Birmingham. After I got pregnant with Etta things changed, and then after she died, I changed.
As I hit I-65 North, my heart feels less heavy, and the more I leave Paradise Lost in the background, a smile spreads across my face easier than it has in years.
Reaching over, I turn up the radio, open my sunroof, and put the car on cruise control. The GPS says I have an hour and a half to go with most of my travel being on this section of interstate.
Glancing at my rearview, I get a picture of myself in the reflection I wasn’t expecting. One I haven’t seen in years. My hair is down, blowing in the breeze, my eyes are full of life and my skin is pink with excitement. I almost don’t recognize myself, but at the same time I do know her. She’s the me I’ve always wanted to be.
When I stop at a rest area, I dial Cutter’s number as I walk to the bathrooms.
“Hey,” he answers. His deep voice always brings a smile to my face and chills up and down my body. Talking with him on the phone is so intimate, and I’m lucky I get to be the one to do it.
“Hey yourself. I just wanted to let you know I’m about forty-five minutes out, I’m stopping at a rest area.
There’s a lot of noise behind him, I can hear a small kid playing in the background.
“You’re so close.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Keegan, leave Rambo alone. He’s tired.”
“Are you babysitting?”
He sighs. “Something like that. Look, I hate to do this to you, but my family has pounced, they want to meet you. They’re having a cookout tonight at my brother and sister-in-law’s house.”
I can tell he’s trying to gauge how I feel by the slow way he speaks the words.
“If you don’t want to do this, say the word and I’ll leave. I’m slightly pissed they did this, but they love me and they want to get to know you.”
There’s a nervousness in my stomach I haven’t had in a long time, but I almost welcome it.
“It’s fine, I’m excited to meet your family.” I realize how honest those words are and wonder who I’ve become. I’ve never liked to meet new people, but the farther I’ve gotten from Paradise Lost, the more the tightness always present in my chest has relaxed. The more colorful things seem to have gotten, the color of the sky and the brightness of the green grass is something I haven’t noticed - in I don’t know how long.
“Okay, so let me give you the address to my brother’s house. That’s where we all are. There will be dogs and children here. Are you okay with that?”
“Yes, Cutter.” I grin. “Nothing is going to keep me away from you today.”
“I’m so glad to hear it.”
“Can you text me the info, I really have to use the restroom. It’s why I stopped.”
“Yeah, see you soon.”
I hang up, excited at this prospect of meeting new people. They don’t know my backstory; they can’t look at me with sadness and pity in their eyes. There will be no whispers.
Is she the girl who lost her daughter? The one who died in their back yard because of the swimming pool? She’s so young. Bless her heart.
For once, I just want to be the new girl in town, maybe a little secretive and aloof, but I want my own backstory. I want to share it when I want, and refuse when I don’t.
As I open the door to the restrooms, I square my shoulders and decide whatever happens today will be because I want it to, and not because I’m reacting to how others are treating me. They’ll meet the old Rowan, the one who wasn’t scared of anything, who enjoyed socializing and being someone others could talk to. I’m going to pull her out and dust her off, give her permission to shine. She may be tarnished, but that’s nothing a little cleaner won’t fix.
When I see the signs indicating Laurel Springs is the next exit, I excitedly beat my palms against the steering wheel. I’m that much closer to seeing Cutter. Texts and a few FaceTime’s over the week haven’t been enough. It’s crazy how he became such an important part of my life in a short amount of time. I guess that could be said for a lot of things, though but this one, this one I’m really happy about.
Following the directions given to me, I pull into a really nice residential neighborhood. It’s the type of place I would love to build a family in, which catches me off guard because I haven’t thought about having a family since I lost the one I had.
Glancing down, I see the house is close, and that’s when I see all the cars and trucks parked in the driveway. I find a place for my car to fit, then reach over, texting Cutter that I’m here.
Nervously I sit in my car, waiting for him to appear, and when he does, I can’t help but get out, running to him. You’d think we haven’t seen each other in months, instead of days. He catches me as I get to him, palming my thighs as I wrap them around his waist, pulling my mouth to his. This kiss shouldn’t be made public, but it is what it is. We’ve obviously missed each other a ton.
When he pulls back, he
smiles widely. “Your hair.”
“What about it?”
“It’s down, and you only wear it down when you trust somebody.”
He repeats the words I’ve told him back at me. He says it with a wonderment, and it makes my heart beat just a little faster. This man has listened to me, he’s taken what I’ve said into his soul, and he’s given it back to me.
“I trust you,” I whisper, kissing him again. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now.”
He groans. “I’m so sorry this got sprung on you. If you’re not having a good time, we’ll leave.”
“No, I think I’ll like this.”
He puts me down, hugging me tightly. “Just remember that offer stands for any time of the night.”
“Got it.”
He grabs my hand, pulling me into what I assume is a back yard. A dog barks, a toddler screeches as he runs away from the dog with a ball in hand.
“Keegan and Rambo. They’re playing fetch, but Keegan hasn’t figured out he’s supposed to throw the ball for Rambo to go and get yet.”
I giggle as I watch them. A sprinkler is set up, and as they run through it, Keegan giggles, Rambo barks in appreciation.
“Keegan looks a lot like you.”
“The Thompson genes are very dominant.” He winks at me.
Pulling me over to what I assume is his family, he starts off. “Y’all, this is Rowan, be nice to her, don’t tell her about my bad habits, and for fuck’s sake, don’t question her about every single thing dealing with how we got together.”
I gasp, shocked he would say this to his family, but they seem to take it in stride.
“Rowan, going around the circle here. My dad Holden, mom Leigh, brother Ransom, sister-in-law Stella, cute kid is Keegan, goodest of all boys is Rambo. Fam, this is Rowan.”
“Nice to meet you.” I wave to them, slightly embarrassed.
“I’ll do my best to not say anything about you wearing an Auburn t-shirt into my house,” the one he introduced as Stella says. I recognize her from when she called after Cutter sent her the selfie we took. “But my mom’s coming over later, and I can’t make promises for her. Just know she’s serious about her football and she’ll see your shirt as shots fired.”
I shrug. “I can take it, I’m used to it. I’m one of the only girls on the EMT squad and everyone else is a ‘Bama fan. She can’t say anything worse than what I’ve heard before.”
They all look at each other, and I wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.
“Are you hungry?” Leigh asks, clapping her hands. “Food is almost ready, we were waiting on you to do the last few things.”
My stomach growls so loud I’m surprised they can’t hear it. “Starving! Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Your job is to sit here and talk to me.” Cutter pulls me down beside him on a bench. “We watch the dog and the kid while we catch up on what’s happened with our lives the last few days.”
“Sounds good to me.”
And as I look out at the yard, watching everybody get up to go do their parts and see the curly head of the kid running back and forth with the dog, I realize this doesn’t hurt. It would’ve any other time, but not here with Cutter, with his family, and in this town.
It doesn’t hurt.
I want more of this, and I want to keep it for as long as I can.
Truthfully I don’t know what that means, but I’m willing to explore it. All I know, is I’m not sure my place is in Paradise Lost anymore, but I’m not sure it’s here either.
There’s only one way to find out.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cutter
So far everyone’s been on their best behavior, but when I see Whitney and Ryan making their way through the back door, I immediately grasp Rowan’s hand.
“Awww shit.”
“What?” she asks as she looks to where my gaze is pinned.
“Look, whatever Whitney says about you wearing an Auburn shirt, just let it go in one ear and out the other.”
This time Rowan gives me a serious look. “How do you expect me to do that? We’re rivals.”
“Because you’re here with me and I want us to have a nice night?”
My voice is hopeful, even I can hear it.
“College football is serious, Cutter. You should know that.”
Oh how I do, and how I know Whitney will never let this go.
“Cutter, is this the lady I’ve heard so much about?”
She’s already spotted us and is coming over with Keegan in her arms. He’s a spoiled boy by both sets of grandparents and he revels in the attention.
“It sure is. Whitney, this is Rowan, Rowan, this is Whitney.”
Their eyes zero in on what each other is wearing.
“Fuck,” I breathe.
“Fuck!” Keegan parrots.
“Cutter…”
Everyone in the back yard looks at me. I simply flip them off, watching in horror as Keegan does the same.
Ransom comes over to get his son. “You know he does every single thing you do. That was irresponsible.”
So now I’m leading my nephew down a path of irresponsibility and self-righteousness. Good to know. “Sorry,” I manage to whisper, before I rub the back of my neck.
Before I can even say anything to Whitney, she’s opened her mouth, and I notice she’s rubbing her pearls. She’s probably asking God for my forgiveness in her head.
“I hope you enjoy that one little victory y’all got at the Iron Bowl,” she indicates Rowan’s shirt. “We’re taking it back this year.”
There’s a part of me that hopes Rowan won’t rise to the bait, but I know how serious this rivalry is.
“Oh how the mighty have fallen.”
“That’s right.” Whitney grins. “Our eight, or was it nine-year winning streak was too heavy a burden for us to hold. We got bored proving how bad your team was.”
There’s a round of oohhh’s in the backyard.
I want to cover my head and come back up for air once this is all over.
“Ryan, help me,” I beg.
“Oh no, I don’t get between my wife and the Tide. You should know that by now.”
“Whitney, please be nice, I want her to stay.”
“I ain’t gonna run her off, Cutter. I’ll just bless her heart and give her an Alabama shirt at Christmas.”
I look at Rowan, scared to death about what she might be thinking. Please don’t let her be ready to leave. I should have warned her about Whitney, but I hadn’t known she was going to show up. To my relief, Rowan giggles. She giggles so hard she has tears streaming down her face.
“I like you,” she gasps while holding her stomach. “It’ll be so much fun to watch the Iron Bowl with you.”
“You just wait.” Whitney grins. “Stella and I have a lucky bullet. We’ll tell you all about that story.”
My eyes widen as I glance at my sister-in-law. “Y’all have a lucky bullet? What the fuck is wrong with y’all?”
“Don’t judge, Cutter. You might not like what you’d get judged for.” Stella sticks her tongue out at me.
“I just don’t even ask anymore,” Ransom says as he comes to stand beside me. “I mean, do not get between these two and their football. It’s the only way Ryan and I have stayed alive, married to them.”
“Let’s eat,” Mom says, clapping her hands, and I’ve never been more excited to sit down at a table and go through an inquisition before in my life.
“This is really good,” Rowan tells me as she takes a bite of her potato salad. “Your mom is a great cook.”
“She owns a restaurant.” I nod over to her. “The Café, it’s the most popular in town.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Mom says, putting her fork down. “We’ve cut our hours back because I’m just too old to keep working there all the time.”
“You should retire,” all three men in her life say at the same time.
“If you can’t tell, they all hav
e an opinion about how I should live my life.” She grins over at Rowan.
Rowan giggles. “They seem to have very solid opinions.”
“I let them think they have a say so.” She winks.
At the other end of the table, Keegan starts screaming.
“What did you do?” I ask Ransom, who sits there with a blank look on his face, staring at his son.
“Wiped ketchup off his forehead. Apparently I’ve gravely injured him.”
Rambo whines, wanting to get up to where Keegan is, so he can make sure his buddy isn’t hurt. The two of them have such a great relationship.
“Let me take him inside.” Stella gets up from where she sits a few seats down. “He didn’t have a nap and he’s probably tired. Either we or I will be back in a few.”
Giving my brother a smartass grin, I needle him. “Wanna have more, huh? What about that baseball team you were gonna have?”
“Shut the fuck up.” He throws a roll at me. “We’ve re-evaluated the baseball team.”
Everyone laughs at him. “You always learn how many you can handle,” Mom says as she looks between the two of us. “Like when I had Cutter, along with Ransom, I realized there would be no way I could handle any more. You two were more than enough.”
Ryan nods over to my dad. “I can remember Havoc saying that a time or two when we’d ask where the girl was. He always wanted to try for a girl.”
“Cutter ruined it.” Ransom lifts his glass up in salute.
“Ransom ruined it.” I raise my glass up to him. “Once I came along and he wasn’t the favorite anymore, he bitched like a pansy.”
“I promise,” - Mom looks at Rowan - “they love each other. They wouldn’t take anything for their brother, but when they get together, they act like this.”
“Me and my brothers are the exact same way.” She grins. “Actually, they’re worse, because they’re guys and they’re cops.”
“Cops?” Dad asks. “What’s your last name again?”
Cutter (Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Book 4) Page 12
