“He said he wants to talk. But only to you.”
His pulse spiked. “Oh? About what, Trav?” He crossed his arms, pretending nonchalance. “The weather? I heard tomorrow’s going to be a scorcher.”
“No.” Travis shifted and winced. “I, uh, I ain’t gonna take the fall for that fire. I didn’t do nothin’. I wasn’t the one who did it.”
“Who did?” He held Travis’s gaze.
“No way. Not until I get something for it. I ain’t stupid.”
Shit. No, he wasn’t. “Take him to the station,” he directed the officers. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Walking away from a sputtering Travis, he rejoined Cliff and Judy. “He wants a deal, but I’m not in a position to give him one, especially here in my house. He’ll cool off in a cell, and we’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Surprising Judy, he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much we both appreciate you keeping an eye out for the neighborhood.”
“Oh, Father will be tickled. He always said, ‘Mother. One day your nosiness is going to get you in trouble.’ But not tonight.”
“No, not tonight.” Paul’s lips twitched.
“Well, I’m going to pick up my pot, go home, and tell him. My word, such excitement.” She twittered away, leaving him alone with Cliff, who though a bit pale, seemed to be okay. Except for the bruising on his neck and cheek.
Paul pressed his lips to the marks on Cliff’s face. “Does it hurt?”
He trembled. “I couldn’t believe what he did. I think that’s why he was able to shove me against the wall. I was shocked, so he took advantage of me.”
“But he didn’t touch you, did he? Or hurt you?” He kept his cool for Cliff’s sake. Travis was one lucky bastard that Paul didn’t take his head and smash it through the wall. By accident, of course.
Cliff hung his head, unable to look him in the eye. “I feel like a fool. What if Judy hadn’t come in? All along I’d been angry at you for trying to protect me, when it seems you were right.”
“Hey. That’s so not the case.” Paul took his face between the palms of his hands. “You’re damn brave. You kept your cool and almost took his nuts off. I’m proud as hell of you.”
“I’m sorry, Paul.”
“For what? That bastard is a menace and has been for years. I’m convinced he’s involved in the fire that killed Shelby and could’ve killed so many other people, Ryan included.”
“I thought I could handle him.”
“And you did.”
But Paul could see by Cliff’s expression that he remained unconvinced. “I don’t know.”
“But I do. Don’t start thinking you need to change and be anything but who you are. Mine.”
“Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.”
“It’s more than enough. You’re more than I ever imagined I could have.” It was a conversation that normally shouldn’t have taken place with emotions running so high, but Paul knew Cliff and what he needed.
“I want to make love to you. Are you all right with that?”
His eyes shining, Cliff wound his arms around Paul’s neck. “I want to feel you inside me.”
“Come on.” Paul took him by the hand, and they walked to the bedroom. Both of them undressed, kissing and touching each other, until they were naked.
“Shower?”
Although Cliff had said he’d taken a shower, Paul sensed he’d want to wash away the feel of Travis’s hands on him.
“Yeah.”
“But first this.” Paul swept his thumb over Cliff’s cheek, dipped his head down and pressed their lips together. Cliff slid his tongue inside Paul’s mouth, and Paul cupped his ass, drawing him close. Their hard cocks rubbed together.
“Come on,” he said, slightly breathless, and took Cliff’s hand. They entered the bathroom and stood under the hot spray. Paul picked up the shower gel. “Let me.” He wanted to take care of Cliff and knew that tonight it would be okay to show just how much.
Cliff leaned on the tiled wall and smiled. “I’m all yours.”
His heart pounded. “Damn right you are.” He squeezed a dollop of the rain-scented liquid into his palm, swished the suds over Cliff’s torso and shoulders, noting with an anger he had to keep at bay, the dark, finger-shaped marks on Cliff’s skin. After rinsing Cliff clean, Paul kissed each bruise, and ended up pressing Cliff against the shower wall, whispering endearments in his ear.
“I love you. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Cliff tangled his fingers in Paul’s hair. “I love you too. I always will.”
Awash with lust, he turned off the shower, and they barely took the time to dry off before tumbling into bed together in a tangle of arms and legs. Paul kissed Cliff deep and hard, wanting him to feel his breath when he breathed, wanting Cliff’s lips to taste like his. He didn’t want them to be apart even when they weren’t together.
“Paul, Paul,” Cliff moaned, and Paul trailed hot, openmouthed kisses along Cliff’s neck, licking the stray beads of water. He nipped and suckled the points of Cliff’s nipples until the man writhed beneath him, then pushed Cliff’s legs apart.
“You’re so gorgeous. So mine.” Only Cliff had been able to soothe his soul from his brother’s loss. Cliff was the only man to give him the strength to come out. He owed Cliff everything and wanted to give Cliff even more.
“All mine.” He licked across the pink, puckered opening, and Cliff groaned and spread his legs wider. Paul buried his face in Cliff’s groin and nuzzled into his heavy sac. “Taste so good.” He slid his tongue inside Cliff’s opening and sucked, licked, and feasted on his richness, immersing himself in the taste of Cliff.
“Please, Paul, come on.” Cliff rolled his hips, and Paul gave one final lick and wiped his mouth.
“Don’t rush me. I’m enjoying my appetizer.” He pumped his dick, his hands growing sticky with precome. His balls drew tight at the sight of Cliff beneath him, so frantic with want. He reached over and grabbed the lube. He slicked himself up and stretched out. “Ride me.”
Cliff crawled up, and without preamble, sank down on his cock. A red flush tinted Cliff’s face, and sparks of golden fire burned in his brown eyes. Paul found himself enthralled by Cliff unraveling above him.
Careful to let Cliff control their lovemaking, Paul held on to his hips and concentrated on the delicious feeling of Cliff’s passage widening to accept him, then tightening around him. The heated grip of Cliff’s body clutched him, and only when Cliff began to move up and down on his rigid length did Paul begin to roll and pump his hips to match his rhythm.
“I love you so much.” Cliff leaned over, and their lips brushed. “I’ve always loved you.” He sighed into Paul’s mouth.
Paul wrapped his arm around Cliff. “I love you too. I always will.”
Their movements sped up, and Cliff held on to the headboard, bracing himself as Paul thrust up harder and faster in deep, penetrating strokes. He wrapped his hand around Cliff’s shaft and pumped him hard, loving how alive the velvety-soft skin felt under his touch.
“Paul, Paul,” Cliff cried out and came, pulsing out his hot, sticky release between Paul’s fingers. The sight of Cliff writhing and falling apart above him sent Paul over the edge, the flame of his lust searing through him.
“Ahhhh,” Paul sighed, as he thrust up deep into him and came. Holding Cliff tightly, he rolled them over and slipped out of Cliff’s heat. “I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
Cliff rested his head against Paul’s shoulder, and Paul smiled at the sound of his deep, even breathing. Then his smile turned grim. He knew tomorrow he’d need to make a deal with the devil with Travis to find out the details of who set the fire at the Wild Orchid.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“You had a rough night,” Paul said, pouring him a cup of coffee.
“I’m sorry, did I keep you awake?” Cliff took a sip. His insides jumbled together, and his inabilit
y to fall asleep until four a.m. didn’t make for a pleasant morning.
“I’m more concerned with why you couldn’t sleep.” Paul placed a hand over his. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Not really, but Cliff knew Paul had a big day ahead, and the last thing he needed to worry about was Cliff’s nightmares and sleeplessness. Cliff was certain he’d be able to push through it.
“You don’t have to put up a front, you know.” Paul raised a brow, his face dark with worry.
Cliff pulled his hand away. “I’m not.”
“I thought we agreed to talk about things.”
Inwardly he winced, knowing Paul was correct, but he couldn’t let go of the promise eighteen-year-old Cliff had made to himself. The promise to take control of his life and make his own destiny.
“We did. I can’t say I’m not a little shaken about what happened.”
“You’d have to be made of steel not to.” Paul met his eyes. “That’s why I don’t understand why you don’t want to talk to me about it.”
Uncomfortable under Paul’s intense scrutiny, Cliff blinked first. “I…I don’t want you to fight my battles. You have enough on your plate, especially today.”
Paul’s eyes narrowed. “Haven’t you been listening? This isn’t me needing to protect you. It’s me wanting to help you, not tell you what to do. I thought we agreed to stand at each other’s side and move forward.”
His gut twisted. One side wanted to give in and let Paul comfort him, the other wanted to stand up straight and say, “I can do it on my own.”
“I do want your help. If I need it, I’ll ask, but I’m okay, really. I had some bad dreams, but they’ll fade in time, I’m sure of it. I have to put it aside and go to work, and so do you.” He pushed out a smile, which Paul didn’t return.
“Can we talk about it tonight, then?” Paul put his phone and keys into his jacket pocket. “I’m not going to let you shove this under the rug. You came to me when you were justifiably angry at me doing something that bothered you. Now I’m concerned because you, through no fault of your own, almost got hurt. And I want to talk about it. Tonight.”
His chest tight, Cliff nodded. “Sure. We will.”
Paul rose from his seat and took him into his arms for a tight hug. “I promise to listen to what you have to say, but I’m never going to stop worrying about you or being concerned for you.”
For a second Cliff allowed Paul to hold him, then pushed away. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Still dubious, Paul kissed him and left. Cliff rinsed their coffee cups and walked into the living room. He saw Travis standing there, felt his heavy body, smelled his cigarette breath. Spots danced in front of his eyes. Cliff reached out and held on to the couch. A few deep breaths, and his vision cleared. He’d figure this out and make sure not to allow it to encroach on his workday. Determined, Cliff gathered his keys from the bowl by the door and left for work.
* * *
For the third time that day, Cliff jumped when someone opened his door unexpectedly. His heart pounded, and it took him a second to stop trembling. There was no reason for his light-headedness. Except for what happened the night before. He tried to concentrate on his work but found it hard to focus.
The phone rang, and grateful for the distraction, he grabbed it.
“Cliff, I heard your neighbor was arrested last night at your house. What the hell happened? Are you and Paul okay?” Ryan sounded anxious, and before he knew it, Cliff had told him the whole story.
“I thought I was fine, but I’m so fucking jumpy. I can’t concentrate. I feel like I’m going out of my mind.” He pushed his fingers through his hair.
“Fucking bastard. Listen. You told me to see a counselor, and you were right. The department’s psychologist is really good. I’ve seen her once since Shelby’s death, and she’s already helped me deal with stuff. Call her. She takes private patients.”
It didn’t surprise Cliff that Ryan found the doctor’s advice helpful, and he was glad Ryan was taking care of himself. “Maybe I should.”
“I know you should.” Cliff heard some rustling. “I’m gonna text you her number. Call her.”
His phone beeped. “Got it. Thanks, Ry. How’s everything going?”
“I’m hanging in there. Taking on extra shifts to keep busy.”
“Good to keep busy. Have you spoken to Joshua?”
“Yeah. He’s a great guy, but I’m not ready for anything yet.”
“I know. But it’s good to have people to talk to.”
Ryan sighed. “He’s so damn kind and sweet and he’s just been a great friend. It’s been hard for him to get past everything that’s happened too, ’cause he was there that night as well, but he doesn’t know many people he can talk to about it, since he’s so new here. Do you know he meets me after every shift and drags me out for food?”
Impressed, Cliff couldn’t help smiling. “Sounds like a great friend.”
“I’m happy to have people in my life I can count on. Like you and Paul and Josh.”
“I’m glad. I’m always here for you. Paul and I both are.”
“I know, Cliffie. Same for me, which is why I want you to call the psychologist.”
Cliff tapped his pen on the desk. “Yeah. I think I might.”
“Good. Let me know how it goes. Talk to you later.”
“Bye.” Cliff ended the call and gazed at the text Ryan sent him.
Dr. Sarah Hernandez.
Without thinking too hard, he hit the number.
* * *
Dr. Hernandez’s office was in a corporate park off the highway, halfway between downtown Thornwood Park and home. Cliff had made the appointment for the afternoon so he wouldn’t have to return to work afterward.
Her office was in a small professional suite, and the receptionist gave him a clipboard to fill out his information. There wasn’t anyone else waiting, and after ten minutes, a brown-haired woman around forty, in a black pantsuit, greeted him.
“Cliff Baxter?”
“Yes.” He stood, and the woman extended her hand.
“I’m Dr. Hernandez. Would you like to come with me?”
He followed her through a door, and she pointed to an office. “Come on in and have a seat.” She closed the door behind him and sat behind the desk.
It was a ten-by-ten space with a clean desk except for family pictures featuring a young girl and a smiling dark-haired man with his arm around a big German shepherd. Diplomas hung behind her, and bookcases lined the wall.
“Now, you said your friend Ryan McNamara referred you?” She pulled a notepad to her.
“Yes.”
Her warm smile settled his jumpiness. “Now, why don’t you tell me what brought you here.”
Cliff laced and unlaced his fingers, and he forced his leg not to bounce up and down. “Well…yesterday evening someone forced his way into my house and attacked me.”
Her dark brows shot up. “Cliff, did you report this to the police?”
At her words, Cliff had to smile. “My boyfriend is a detective. He made the arrest. Nothing happened. I kicked the guy in the groin, and luckily, my nosy neighbor came into the house, so he was thwarted.”
Relief passed over her face. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. So tell me more. Was your boyfriend able to stay with you last night and offer you support?”
“Yes, we live together. Paul’s been wonderful. After his initial reaction of wanting to punch the wall in, he was very considerate and helpful.”
“Good. Sometimes a partner doesn’t understand.”
“He does. But I can’t help being jumpy. Every sound makes me nervous.”
“Do you think he’s going to come after you?” She watched his face even as she took notes.
“Rationally I know he won’t—he’s in custody—but I’m still nervous.”
“First of all, you should know it’s not uncommon to have this kind of response to a traumatic experience like th
is. It’s a type of PTSD.”
Cliff sank into his chair. “Great. I’ve already had problems with Paul because I think he’s overprotective. Once he hears this, he’s gonna go wild.”
“Tell me about your relationship.”
He gazed down at his lap. “I’ve had a crush on Paul since I was a teenager, but I never thought anything would come of it. I was his younger brother’s best friend and sort of nonexistent to him. He was the popular jock, and I wasn’t anything like that. Then about two years ago we met again, during an investigation at the hotel where I work. Paul wasn’t out, but we worked through it, and now we’re strong together. Like I said, he’s a detective and extremely protective of the people he cares about. So much so that he installed a security camera at my house without telling me.”
“Oh, wow.” She set her pen on the table. “That must’ve been a surprise.”
“We had a long discussion and cleared the air. I have a thing about people needing to watch over me.”
“And why is that?”
Cliff hadn’t anticipated this peeling away of the outer layers of his skin so soon, but Dr. Hernandez was so easy to talk to.
“When I came out to my parents at eighteen, they kicked me out. I spent several years on my own, making my own way, living with friends at first. I didn’t need to be responsible to anyone but myself, and it made me very independent. That butts up against Paul’s protective instinct. I get angry if he tries to shield me from things.”
“It’s natural for partners to want to look out for each other’s welfare.”
“Paul can be a bit…I guess you could say strong in his opinions. He takes on responsibilities and feels guilty over things he can’t control. His brother died in Afghanistan, and Paul still has unresolved guilt, since they weren’t close. He planned on making up for lost time with Harley when he came home, only that never happened.” Harley’s death would forever be an unhealed wound for them both.
“That’s very sad and can explain Paul’s overprotectiveness. He’s afraid of losing you, like he lost Harley. How long have you been together?”
Death Comes to Main Street (The Paul Monroe Mysteries Book 3) Page 21
