Judging by Daed’s “hmm,” he’d picked up on it, too.
“You don’t need to tell the bishop.” There was a touch of alarm in Levi’s voice. “There’s nothing wrong with me and I have nothing to confess…” He trailed off as if he was suddenly unsure and maybe he did actually have something to confess.
A sudden, irrational fear worked through her. Daed would get to the bottom of this. But what on earth was Levi hiding? An affair with a married woman? An Englischer?
Elsie wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Her stomach churned in dread. But still, she lowered herself to sit on the stairs—where she could eavesdrop in ease. And not accidentally bang into the railing or wall and give away her presence.
“Why can you never marry?” Daed asked.
There was a long silence; then Levi cleared his throat. “I need to get home to Abigail. She’ll be worried. If you decide not to let Elsie work for me, I understand.”
What? He was leaving her employment up to Daed?
“Elsie makes up her own mind. But I admit to some worry. What is going on with you, Levi?”
There was another long silence. “Nothing to concern yourself with. Let’s just say that Abigail is my responsibility and I intend to take care of her.”
“Commendable.” Daed made some sort of grunt—one that usually warned he was about to disagree with what was said. An unspoken but. “Levi, your daed was one of my closest friends. He would’ve wanted me to reach out to you—which is why I have, multiple times. He would’ve done the same for my family.”
Truth. Levi’s daed used to stop by all the time to visit with her daed. Elsie scooted down two steps. A board creaked and she froze.
“Please, let me help you. Don’t keep pushing me away. If nothing else, like tonight, I can listen to your worries or troubles and advise you.”
More silence. Then, “Danki. I appreciate that. And I’ll keep it in mind.”
“But you won’t talk to me now?”
“Abigail is waiting. She’ll worry.”
Daed sighed. “You know where to find me.”
Levi took a step, moving into view. He glanced up the stairs and met Elsie’s eyes. His jaw flexed. A muscle jumped, then he plopped his hat on and looked away—toward the living room where Daed must be. “Did Elsie put you up to this?”
Chapter 8
Did Elsie put you up to this? Levi felt ten times the fool as soon as the words left his mouth. How could Elsie have put Stephen up to it if she didn’t even know he was coming? And why would she? He sighed. Simply put, she hadn’t and she wouldn’t. It was far better to keep his mouth shut and have people believe he was an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt.
He tried to avoid looking at Elsie again but failed. His gaze was drawn to her. Her lips were shiny as if she’d just added lip gloss. The scent of peppermint teased his senses, and despite the presence of her daed mere feet away and probably unaware that his daughter was there listening, Levi fought the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she clung to him, wanting him every bit as much as he wanted her.
Inappropriate thoughts and actions, all things considered.
He gazed at her with every bit of longing apparently visible because her lips softened, parting. Her eyes glistened. Her hands rose as if she wanted to reach for him, but she hesitated.
Levi took an involuntary step toward her, his lips tingling. His arms ached to hold her. It’d been so long. Too long.
She whimpered.
A hand clapped him on the shoulder. Stephen. “Jah. I see how it is.”
Just like that the moment was gone. Forever.
“No. No, it’s not like you think,” Levi said gruffly, despite the fact that it probably was every bit what Stephen thought, if not more. It was just that there was no way Levi would allow—could allow—himself to act on it. None. Zilch. He shook his head, turned his back, and strode away.
It was the hardest thing he ever did.
No. It wasn’t. Having to bury his entire family, minus one, was much harder.
A sudden lump clogged his throat. His vision blurred. His ears hurt. He gulped and rushed past the rest of the family still gathered around the kitchen table.
Someone called to him, but the words swam, unrecognizable. He dashed outside, untethered Trouble, and lifted a leg to vault into the buggy.
Except the scent of peppermint surrounded him. A hand landed on his arm. Sparks shot through him. And with a groan, he turned and tugged her—his Elsie—into his arms, pressed her against his chest, and kissed her like a half-crazed man.
Not exactly his proudest moment. Especially when he realized that she’d stiffened. Her hands pressed against his chest, pushing as if trying to get away. And her lips didn’t respond. Ugh.
He started to release her, embarrassment and shame burning. And after he’d assured Stephen there was nothing between him and Elsie. At least she demonstrated her lack of interest very clearly.
And then, wonder of wonders, her hands slid under his jacket and up his chest. They lingered there a bit, then she pulled her hands free of his jacket and her arms looped around his neck, and she kissed him back just as desperately. As if she was as starved for him as he was for her.
His hat fell off and her fingers tangled in his hair. He groaned and deepened the kiss.
Jah. I see how it is. Stephen’s words replayed. Mocked.
It was as effective as a sudden, unexpected cold shower.
Elsie must’ve sensed his withdrawal because she moaned, a sound that made him want more and more and still more…
And even though he didn’t want to, he untangled himself from the snare of her arms and stepped away.
* * *
It took Elsie a moment or three to go from Levi’s toe-curling, knee-buckling kisses to the emotional disconnect that hit when he wrenched himself away, physically moving three or four feet back. And even though it was dark, she could feel his gaze on her, probably wondering what all that was about.
But, dash it all, he started it.
Or maybe she had with peppermint-flavored lip gloss and a cotton ball doused in peppermint essential oil on her pulse points.
He’d admitted that peppermint made him want to kiss her.
She was the one who’d liberally applied it, wanting to tease and tempt him beyond the level of his control. She just hadn’t expected him to grab her like a half-starved man.
She reeled, fighting for her balance, fighting the…definitely not shame, no; it was more on the level of acute desire…that engulfed her.
And then the despair when she realized exactly what she’d done.
“I’m fired, aren’t I?” And oh, that hurt to ask, especially knowing the answer.
He jerked. Violently. And then a word she’d never before heard Levi utter crossed his lips.
She dipped her head, ashamed she’d driven him to swear.
“Fired. Jah. You are. Fired. I mean, no. Not fired. I mean, Abigail. Oh bother.” And then that same word he’d said before—twice—the second time much louder.
Did that mean she was—or wasn’t?
“Levi Matthew Wyse,” Daed scolded.
Wait. Daed? He’d witnessed their passionate embrace?
“Somehow, I think Abigail wouldn’t mind if she knew Levi kissed Elle,” another voice said. Noah?
Elsie jerked her head to the side, but both men were shrouded by shadows on the porch. Bright windows shone behind them and how many others might have seen? And what else had she expected rushing through the kitchen to follow him out here?
Still. How would Noah know? How would any of her brothers know?
“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to,” Levi blurted. “She…I mean, I know there are objections, but it…I mean…”
Elsie couldn’t think of any objections. But he wasn’t making any sense.
“Your daed would be ashamed of you using such language,” Daed continued.
Levi spluttered to a stop and bowed his head. Af
ter a moment, he bent, picked up his hat, replaced it, then looked up. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to do it. Either one of them, actually. But I need to go. Come or not tomorrow, Elsie. Makes no difference. You won’t see me.”
“But we need to talk.” Elsie held her hands out in a pleading way.
“There’s nothing left to say. Except I’m sorry. So sorry. For so many things.” And, shoulders slumped, he trudged to his buggy, muttering something about making a mess out of a simple errand.
“Wait.”
Elsie took a step after him, but Daed stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Let him go, daughter. There will be time enough for talking when the job is done.”
Huh? What job? Mine? His? Elsie frowned. Let him go?
And with those words of veiled wisdom, Daed and Noah turned to go inside. Trouble pulled the buggy holding Levi out to the road. And Elsie was left standing all alone in the freezing-cold darkness trying to make sense out of the past hour.
And failing.
Except for the searing reminder that Levi still wanted her.
* * *
“I’m sorry,” Levi said partially to the horse and partially to Gott—if He was listening. “I should’ve known the conversation would go places I hadn’t prepared for. Daed always said to expect the best but prepare for the worst. He was so wise. I prepared for the best.” He sighed. “Abigail wants Elsie. I agree that she is perfect for the job, and blast it all, I still love her.”
The horse bobbed her head.
Levi snorted. “Nothing will come of it, though.” He couldn’t fail another person. Just couldn’t.
Trouble made some sort of quiet nicker in response, but whether the horse was agreeing or disagreeing, Levi had no clue.
“But how am I supposed to keep my hands off of her, knowing that she welcomed my kiss?”
Trouble turned her head as if to look at Levi, but the darkness kept him from seeing if the horse rolled her eyes. Really, it was better not to know. If an animal rolled her eyes at him, then Levi really must be every bit as pathetic as he felt.
Especially since he suspected from the strength of the scent that Elsie had perhaps done it on purpose. He shouldn’t have mentioned the “no peppermint” rule in her room, because it seemed to only have put ideas in her head. Now he really needed to avoid being alone with her.
Despite the beyond-cold temperatures, Abigail sat on the porch with a quilt draped awkwardly over her body when Levi arrived home. “Well?” she hollered as he drove past.
He gave her a thumbs-up, and with a grin she bundled the quilt in her lap and rolled backward as if heading inside. Levi continued into the barn. Abigail had accepted the thumbs-up as an answer, but truthfully, Levi had no idea what the gesture meant other than acknowledging the other person.
Because jah, he’d talked to Elsie and reoffered the job, but he had only the vaguest inkling of what Elsie would do. Her outstretched hands and plaintive “we need to talk” strongly indicated she’d show up with “talking” on the agenda. Something he wasn’t good at, unless he had a memorized script—complete with possible questions, comments, and answers.
Elsie followed no script. He couldn’t even begin to venture a guess where her mind would go or what would pop out of her mouth. Like when she accused him of losing her at the wedding. He hadn’t lost her. It was just with his panic over Abigail’s potentially serious fall so soon on the heels of the deaths of the rest of his family, he’d forgotten he’d taken Elsie to the wedding.
And while she usually was patient with him as he searched for words, that time she wasn’t. She’d refused to hear him, breaking up instead of giving him a chance to explain.
Although maybe he was wrong to accuse her of lashing out irrationally. He’d been so proud of the words at the time. To his mind, they’d sounded so Elsie-ish. But no. They’d only fueled her anger to the clichéd redheaded boiling point. And cost him—almost—as much as the gas explosion.
After that, they’d reached the point of no return. He had no words. Just like now. If he saw her in the morning, what would he say?
He paused at the door to the barn, shivering in the cold, and realized that Trouble was in the stall. When did that happen? Somehow, he’d unhitched the buggy and stabled and cared for Trouble while his thoughts were wandering. He stopped and stared, then turned off the lights, shut the barn, and stumbled to the house to attempt to answer Abigail’s questions. At least she tended to be patient with him, giving him time to think out his answers.
But he couldn’t mention his loss of control, kissing Elsie as he had.
Abigail would believe that he and Elsie were a thing, on their way to happily ever after.
There was no happily ever after. Not for him. The sting of tears burned his eyes. He blinked them away.
The kitchen was warm and welcoming, and mugs of hot cocoa with a sprinkling of mini marshmallows waited on the table along with two chocolate cupcakes.
Nothing like going to bed with a burst of sugar-induced energy. But at least Abigail would be happy.
Maybe.
Unless she read between the lines some nuance of the conversation that he’d missed. And that was very likely.
Abigail rolled her chair to the table and angled it toward him. “Have a seat and tell me about it. And don’t leave anything out. Will she be here tomorrow?”
“I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t show up tonight.” Levi kicked his shoes off, hooked his jacket and hat beside the door, then plopped down in the chair. And caught a whiff of peppermint coming from the cocoa.
His sister’s eyebrows arched. “Why would she—”
“I kissed her, okay?”
Abigail’s eyes widened and her mouth gaped.
Levi’s face flamed, and abandoning his cocoa and cupcake, he fled to the solitary confines of his loft office.
Curse his runaway tongue! Admitting that to Abigail. What had he done?
It was all the fault of the peppermint. It muddled his senses. Had to be.
Chapter 9
Elsie tossed and turned all night, replaying every word out of Levi’s mouth and reliving each second of his embrace. And still the big question remained. If she took the job working for Levi Wyse, was she setting herself up for heartbreak or for happily ever after?
Probably heartbreak, because every romance she’d read had a devastating black moment when all was lost. She’d already survived one black moment starring Levi Wyse. She wouldn’t survive another.
And after that kiss, any hope of friendship was gone.
But still, they had to talk. Argue, probably, unless he remained stoically quiet, letting her rant, and then he’d turn and walk away, leaving her to dissolve in a puddle of tears—and the situation unresolved.
No. She couldn’t go through that again.
However, peppermint had unleashed his tongue. And his hands. Not to mention his lips.
She shivered. She could go through that part again. With pleasure.
Considerable pleasure.
Okay, that settled it. She’d liberally douse herself in peppermint oil and stop at Zooks’ for a bag of peppermint candy for good measure.
Except, he’d forbidden her to bring peppermint on the property.
Bring. He hadn’t mentioned wearing it. And maybe she could smuggle some white chocolate candies with crushed peppermint in to use in baking Christmas cookies. Abigail would love that. And Elsie could argue that it was technically white chocolate.
Technically. Not officially.
And maybe some peppermint-flavored baking chips.
Jah, there were ways around his directive, and even if they didn’t see each other, there were still ways to communicate. A note here, a card there, an occasional small gift…not to mention being the best elf ever.
Wasn’t there a fairy tale about a shoemaker and an elf? It’d been a while since she’d read it, so she wasn’t sure of the details, but if she remembered it right, the shoemaker got to the point wher
e he was desperate to thank the elf.
Of course, there wasn’t a very happy ending—for the shoemaker. She frowned, rolled over, and stared at the dark form of her sister Mandy asleep on the bottom bunk across from her. The top bunks were filled with her two other sisters, Leah and Carrie. How could they sleep at a time like this? She needed a plan.
It was a good thing these beds were built into the wall. It kept her tossing and turning from disturbing her sisters.
Elsie slipped out of bed, dressed in the dark, then went downstairs to the kitchen. She lit a lantern, brewed a mug of peppermint tea—her favorite—and found a notebook and a red-ink pen.
An index card waited at her place at the table. “Elsie” was written in Daed’s masculine script. Elsie pushed it aside. No distractions.
While the tea steeped, she tapped the cap of the pen against the open page of the notebook. What to write? “The Plan,” which she had initially thought, now sounded rather blah. But it was three a.m. on Wednesday morning.
Oh! A brilliant title came to her. Perfection!
With a flourish she wrote:
The Christmas Challenge
Organize Levi’s office—that would be vital to winning his affection.
Help Abigail with household chores—the reason she was hired.
Befriend Abigail—important to get her support.
Decorate for Christmas—as much as allowed and to make his house a home.
Do lots of Christmas baking—after all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Do random surprise acts of kindness—just to keep them guessing.
She removed the tea bag, took a sip of tea, and studied her list.
Wait. Were random and surprise the same? She raised the pen to cross out one of the words but then hesitated. She was pretty sure there was a slight difference in definitions. Elsie rose to check the dictionary, but the thick volume had disappeared from its place on the living room bookshelf. Her oldest brother, Samuel, was working on his GED and planning on going to college. He also teased about memorizing the whole dictionary, but since the book was gone he probably had been serious. Daed hadn’t said a whole lot about it, but there were furrows of worry in his brow when he looked at Sam.
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