by J. H. Croix
My mind flashed to that one night and the way it felt to be with Max, the intimacy almost searing my soul. That had to be a trick, or so I kept telling myself. It was just me being me, believing in something that wasn’t even there. I hadn’t heard from Max since that night. I reminded myself, time and time again, that our lives were worlds apart.
Chapter Nine
Max
“No,” I said firmly, leaning back in my chair.
I spun away from my desk to look out the window at the city of San Francisco, where my company’s home office was located. After my days at MIT, I’d done some engineering work here and there, and eventually founded a small design firm here, focused on sustainable energy products. It had grown by leaps and bounds since then, and I rarely did the actual engineering work myself these days. I’d always been good with numbers and ended up shifting into more of an investor in other firms over time, the very topic of my current conversation.
“Seriously, Max?” Owen asked.
Usually when I said no, people didn’t question it. But Owen did. Every damn time. I chuckled as I looked across the skyline of San Francisco to the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance.
“Of course I’m serious,” I replied, spinning my chair back around and rolling my eyes at the computer screen. We were on a videoconference call, something we did almost weekly.
Owen laughed. “I don’t think you are. It’s a great opportunity, and we should snap it up while we can. There are a few patents I’d like to have in our hands.”
Owen ran Off the Grid, a small, but high-profile, sustainable energy company in Alaska. Our friendship from MIT and our intersecting businesses had led to multiple business collaborations. We shared a few engineers and occasionally bought up floundering companies together. That was the purpose of our call today, or rather, Owen had made it about that.
“All right, fine,” I said. “But if we’re doing this, we’re doing it now. Say, by next week.”
Owen grinned. “Perfect. So you’ll fly up then?” He looked away from the screen, glancing over his shoulder. Looking back to me, he added, “Ivy’s here.”
Within seconds, Ivy was leaning down to smile at me, waving. “Hey, Max. Did I just hear you saying yes to Owen?”
“Of course you did. You know him, he browbeat me into it.”
I teased, but Owen had good judgment, which was usually why he could talk me into things.
Ivy laughed, leaning over and dropping a kiss on Owen’s cheek. “It’s a smart move. I looked into the designs they have, and there’s some really good stuff there.”
Owen nodded and slipped his arm around her waist. “Okay, babe. Before you get going on all the designs, remember I’ve got a meeting in five minutes.”
Ivy loved, absolutely loved, talking engineering and diving into the details. Being one of the best engineers in the field of sustainable energy meant she could wax poetic on the topic most of the time. Owen knew her well, and was definitely heading her off at the pass.
“Okay, okay,” she said with a low laugh as she stepped back. Looking to me again, she asked, “Does that mean you’ll come to Diamond Creek when you’re up here in Anchorage next week?”
“Is it just me, or were you counting on me saying yes?” I asked, directing my question to Owen.
Owen grinned. “I was banking on it. It’s a good plan.”
Ivy rephrased her question. “So you’ll come to Diamond Creek?”
A vision of Harlow May flashed in my mind. It had been a year or so since I’d seen her. Not that I would admit it to anyone, but I’d thought about her almost every day since. The last time I’d been to Diamond Creek, I’d seen her. That woman had burrowed herself into my brain and seared her memory into my mind and body. Oh, I wasn’t so foolish as to let myself think anything could come of it. No matter how much I wanted to see Harlow again.
In fact, I’d stuck to my usual ways. I had a few perfectly casual business-like relationships that met my physical needs, so to speak. Yet, nothing seemed able to slake my need anymore. Were it not for the fact that I knew the women I saw wanted nothing more from me, I would worry I was using them. Well, to be blunt, I was. But it was a two-way street, so I felt no guilt. Every fucking time I left—because I didn’t stay the night with anyone—I thought of Harlow and how I had slept in the same bed with her, not only once, but twice. Once, a perfectly chaste night. The other? The hottest fucking night of my life.
Harlow had ruined me for anyone else.
I hadn’t realized I’d completely zoned out until Owen rapped his knuckles on his desk. “Max, easy question.”
That was precisely how distracting Harlow was. There’s no way on God’s green earth that I would admit to Owen that half the reason I’d been hesitant to agree to his request that we snap up this alternative energy company in Anchorage was because I was actually afraid I might cross paths with Harlow again.
What terrified me was how fiercely I wanted to see her.
Giving my head a shake, I caught Owen’s eyes and shrugged. “Sorry about that. Got distracted by some voices in the hallway. To your question, Ivy, it sounds like I’ll be up next week. Of course I’ll come to Diamond Creek.”
Ivy squealed and clapped her hands. “Perfect!”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be really glad to see you, but what’s so perfect about it?”
“We’re having a thing next weekend. You guys can do your meeting in Anchorage, and then come down for the weekend,” she explained.
“What’s a thing?” I asked in return.
She rolled her eyes and shrugged. “It’s an after-Thanksgiving, before-Christmas thing at the ski lodge, and we’d love for you to be there. I worry about you.”
Owen nodded, catching my eyes with a rueful grin. “She does worry about you. She wants to be everybody’s mother.”
Ivy rolled her eyes and kicked Owen’s knee with her foot. “I don’t want to be your mother, but I don’t like thinking about you going to business meetings on Christmas Eve. Stay for a month, or more, so you’re here for Christmas. Please.”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be there, but it will definitely be a few weeks. As it is, we’ve got a mess to clean up. I’ll head to Alaska after I fly home to see my family for Thanksgiving. You don’t really need to worry about me. If I happen to be working on Christmas Eve, it’s because I have to.”
“Oh whatever. You’re as bad as Owen is, always working. You remember Harlow, right?” Ivy asked next.
Jesus fucking Christ. I was starting to wonder if Ivy had telepathic skills.
Keeping that thought to myself, I replied blandly. “Of course I remember her. She was at your wedding, and then you guys accidentally booked both of us at your house after you left.”
Not even Owen knew what happened between Harlow and me.
Ivy laughed. “That was a failed effort on my part to set you two up. But it didn’t work. Harlow said you didn’t even stay, that you left for business.”
I filed that detail away. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret the fact that Harlow hadn’t said a word to Ivy about what happened in the single night I’d been there.
“Anyway, lots of people will be here. So are you flying into Anchorage or Homer?” she asked.
“I haven’t even booked my flights yet, Ivy. I just said yes to Owen a minute before you came in the room. I’ll probably fly into Anchorage. I love the drive down Turnagain Arm. Plus, if we’re going to do this, we need to move fast, so I’ll spend a little time in Anchorage before I go to Diamond Creek.”
Satisfied, Ivy beamed, quickly leaning over to drop another kiss on Owen’s cheek. Hurrying out of the room, she called over her shoulder that she would see me next weekend.
Owen and I got down to the details after that. The company in question was struggling financially. They had overstretched significantly. We would buy it up at a bargain price, at a time when they probably would see us as a lifeboat out of the nightmare situation they’d created. We were
buying up a troubled alternative energy company in Anchorage. They had good ideas, but they spent money too fast without bringing enough in to balance out the risk. Owen wanted the patents to their designs. Even though I’d initially said no, it was a smart move. Except for the fact that I’d be in the vicinity of the one woman I hadn’t been able to forget.
Owen and I went way back to our days together at MIT. We complemented each other in business. I did more numbers, while he did more design. There were few business partners I trusted the way I trusted Owen.
I told myself that perhaps seeing Harlow would kick her to the curb in my mind. I’d probably made her into more than she was in my memory. I had never done any online sleuthing about a woman. Until Harlow. I hadn’t been able to help myself. I knew she’d taken a firefighter position in a town slightly northwest of Anchorage in Alaska. Her career choice was still a mystery to me. She’d turned down her father’s attempt to pull her into his company, cutting all ties financially with him. He’d publicly disowned her as a result.
Her choice to break away from him wasn’t a surprise, not to me. I hated thinking she didn’t have a family, though. With a mental shake, I stood from my desk, shrugging on my suit jacket and leaving. I ran the company, so I could do whatever the hell I wanted with my schedule. In days gone by, that would’ve meant I was here from the crack of dawn until hours after the sun went down and not minding it a bit. My schedule remained largely the same, with a few exceptions. I was restless and antsy, though, and needed to get out of the office.
The city was like an ill-fitting jacket for me. I’d made the decisions I had in my career that relied on me being in more urban centers. Now I was at a place where I could do whatever the hell I wanted.
Harlow aside, Alaska was quite appealing. Owen had made a brilliant move when he relocated Off the Grid there. In the online world, location wasn’t as important as it once was. Once you had the connections in place, you could work pretty much anywhere.
Harlow had been a source of great distraction for me. I didn’t like contemplating that she had actually figured in my initial resistance to Owen’s plan that we buy up this company in Anchorage. It was a smart business move, and I damn well knew it. With Harlow in Alaska, the reality I might actually see her again was an unholy temptation and not good for my sanity. I wasn’t used to wanting someone the way I wanted her.
I left the office, swung by my place to change, and headed to a nearby park for a grueling run. When I needed to clear my mind, I exercised. As such, even though I’d been in good shape when I met Harlow, the elapsing year had put me in the best shape of my life.
Today, even though I ran at a punishing pace, the idea of seeing her again teased the edges of my thoughts the entire time. I hadn’t been celibate since I’d seen Harlow, but she was unforgettable.
Maybe, just maybe, seeing Harlow would actually get her out of my thoughts. I’d been trying to convince myself that the memory of what I felt with her was more powerful than the reality.
Ha. You wish. You’re scared of her. Because she made you feel something for the first time in years.
Chapter Ten
Harlow
Snow was falling softly outside, glittering in the lights cast across the back deck at Last Frontier Lodge. I took another sip of water, turning when I heard a voice calling my name.
“There you are,” Ivy said.
“Yup, right here.” I stood from the table, and Ivy threw her arms around me for a big hug. She was a major hugger.
I’d come down for Thanksgiving and the following weekend, at her behest. Her parents were staying at her and Owen’s place, so I was here at the ski lodge. It was simply beautiful, and somehow, it managed to feel both luxurious and almost like a home—if only because I knew most everyone who worked here through Ivy. The Hamilton family owned and managed the lodge, and they treated every employee like family.
Speaking of, Delia Hamilton came through the swinging doors from the kitchen in the back, carrying a tray with mugs of spiked hot cider as she walked over to us. Delia had situated me here at this table by the windows and close to the kitchen when I arrived earlier, assuring me Ivy would know right where to find me.
“Perfect timing,” Ivy said, the moment she saw Delia. “I’ve been up to my eyeballs in designs today. I need a drink. Don’t worry, I won’t be driving home. Owen’s meeting us here.”
Ivy settled into the booth across from me while Delia set the drinks down in front of us. “I’ll join you two in a little bit, but do you need anything else?”
“Actually, I could use a salmon burger. I forgot to eat before I left to drive here,” I replied.
“I’ll take one too because I forgot to eat while I was working today,” Ivy added.
Delia grinned, her blue eyes twinkling. “So, two salmon burgers. Would you like those with regular fries or sweet potato fries?”
“You don’t actually have to wait on us. Just…” I began, pausing when Delia shook her head.
“I would be asking you what you wanted if you were at my house, so get over it, and you’re not paying for dinner,” Delia ordered.
“She’s bossy,” a man’s voice said from behind Delia.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Garrett Hamilton, Delia’s handsome husband, approaching.
She rolled her eyes at him, just before he stepped to her side and caught her lips in a quick kiss.
“How late are you working tonight?” he asked.
“I’m putting this order in for them, and that’s it.”
“Perfect,” he replied with a wink, and Delia spun away.
“Sweet potato fries, sweet potato fries!” Ivy called out, and Delia gave a thumbs up as she pushed through the doors back into the kitchen.
Garrett looked between us. “Can I crash the party?”
“Of course,” Ivy replied with a wide smile, tucking a lock of her amber hair behind her ear. “That’s why it’s a big table.”
Garrett slipped into a seat, and in a matter of minutes, he pulled most of my life story out of me. Garrett was easy to be around and so perceptive, it was slightly unnerving. He shared the same dark hair, paired with bright blue eyes, with most of his siblings.
I knew from Ivy he’d once been a highly successful corporate lawyer in Seattle. He’d burned out and moved up to Diamond Creek when he fell in love with Delia. He still practiced law, and I imagined he still made quite a bit of money. His teasing manner, though, was at odds with the idea of him as a corporate lawyer in a suit and tie.
Delia joined us shortly afterwards, and we nibbled on our dinners as we chatted. I was mellow and relaxed after a mug of Delia’s ridiculously good hard cider, which was exactly what I needed. I saw Ivy’s gaze flick behind me, a smile stretching across her face, and figured Owen was here.
“Max!”
Oh God. She couldn’t mean Max Channing. My skin prickled at the back of my neck and a rush of heat rolled through me. I didn’t even know if he was actually here; just the idea of him had that effect on me. I forced myself not to look over my shoulder. Not that I had to wait long. In a minute, Owen was standing beside the table with Max coming up behind him.
The moment I looked up, it was as if there was a magnetic force between the two of us. I knew that Owen was there and I should say hello, but my eyes went straight to Max. I found his gaze waiting, the ice blue of his eyes startling.
Heat flared inside, and I tried to take a breath, but I struggled to make my lungs work. It felt as if a shimmer of electricity arced between us. His eyes darkened, and he inclined his head slightly. “Hello, Harlow.”
Oh, sweet Jesus. Just the sound of his voice sent my belly spinning, and an ache began to build between my thighs. I’d been telling myself for over a year that my fantasies about him towered over reality. I wasn’t so sure now.
I didn’t quite know how, but Max ended up seated beside me. I felt a little crazy, giddy, with butterflies fluttering madly in my belly and my pulse skittering wildly. Som
ehow, I was going to have to behave like a normal human being.
Manners, Harlow. Use your manners. God, that sounds like something I’ve said before.
After greetings had been made and everyone was seated, Max caught my eyes. “How are you?” he asked.
A perfectly normal question to ask. Yet, the sound of his voice sent a shiver skating over my skin. I remembered that voice like it was yesterday.
I thanked the stars I could control my outward emotions even though my insides were screaming. It was unlikely anyone noticed my moment of speechlessness unless they were camped out in my brain.
“I’m fine,” I finally said.
Wow. Two entire words.
They might’ve been short, but given how unsettled I was inside, it felt like a victory. Blessedly, someone—hell if I knew who—said something to Max, and his attention shifted away from me. Over the next few minutes, more people joined us, as Garrett’s sister-in-law Marley and her husband Gage slipped into chairs. As conversation flowed, it occurred to me everyone with us was paired up and all happily married. Ivy and Owen, Delia and Garrett, Marley and Gage. Even her sister Lacey, and her husband Quinn, who stopped by to say hello.
With Max right beside me in all of his tempting glory, I was fairly distracted. He radiated heat and strength. So much for my oh-so-silly idea that I had overblown him in my imagination. My body was practically on fire, and all he was doing was sitting there.
My manners kept me on autopilot as I chatted casually with the group. At some point, Max turned toward me, a beer in one hand, and the other one resting on the table. Even his hands were sexy. I knew a bit more about him than I’d known last year.
I hadn’t been able to resist looking him up online. He hadn’t been dishonest about what he did, but he’d left it fairly wide open and described his job as business. Business meant handling a lot of money, primarily focused on renewable energy companies. In hindsight, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had known who I was at the wedding. My father was a major investor in Owen and Ivy’s company, and in a number of other up-and-coming renewable resource companies.
